Change In plans
by MaryElise
Summary: Clark wasn't adopted by the Kents. Lionel Luther is Clark's father. How will Clark turn out under the supervision of Lionel Luther? Martha and Jonathan do have a daughter though- Lana Kent.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Change in Plans  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Smallville characters  
  
Type: AU fic  
  
Rating: PG and later PG-13  
  
A/N: hope you like, Summer has given me a lot of extra time, so I get to write again, ah... how I missed it so. please R &R  
  
1988  
  
"You saved my son's life, if there is ever anything I can do for you, just call." Lionel told Jonathan, handing him a card with 2 numbers on it.  
  
"I'll do it for you. But just out of curiosity, why do you need it?" Lionel asked Jonathan.  
  
"I'd prefer to keep that to myself, Mr. Luther." Jonathan said referring to his request that Lionel forge a birth certificate for their newly obtained son, Clark.  
  
"Alright. Bring the child to the address I gave you, tomorrow at 8 a.m." Jonathan said turning to leave.  
  
"Wait, why do you need Clark?" Jonathan said feeling uneasy.  
  
"Simple blood tests and other things?" Lionel added more when he saw Jonathan's confused face, "for the future of course, medical records and things."  
  
"No, Mr. Luther, I really don't think that is a good idea." Jonathan said.  
  
"What did you do? Kidnap the kid?" Lionel said with a laugh in his eyes.  
  
"No, of course not, but-"  
  
"Then bring him by tomorrow." Lionel exited.  
  
"Well, were is the child?" Lionel sounded annoyed.  
  
"Um... you can't run the tests on him." Jonathan was clearly nervous.  
  
"Why not? Look, Mr. Kent, I'm losing my patience with you. Either you tell me the truth about this kid, or you are going to lose him." Lionel threatened.  
  
"Please, Mr. Luther... I... wife just doesn't want people poking and prodding him, that's all. I don't need all the other medical stuff, just the birth certificate, our family has never been much for doctors anyway." Jonathan lied, and Lionel knew it.  
  
"Alright. I'll drop it off at your house tomorrow." Lionel was grateful to Jonathan for saving Lex's life, and he would return the favor.  
  
"Here." Lionel said, handing Jonathan a file, with the birth certificate in it. "Everything is in order."  
  
"Thank you." Jonathan and Lionel shook hands. Lionel was leaving when a little boy crossed his path.  
  
"So this must be Clark." Lionel said staring down at the smiling boy, as Martha came running after him with a horrified look on his face. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine." Martha said worried, she had a bad feeling about dealing with Lionel Luther. Clark had gotten away from her; he was so strong.  
  
Jonathan took Clark by the arm, he didn't want him anywhere near Mr. Luther, incase he saw Clark do something. As soon as Jonathan gripped Clark, he pulled away with such force that it sent Jonathan to the floor.  
  
Lionel's eyes went wide, "That boy has some strength."  
  
"No, I just lost my footing." Jonathan lied. "But again, thank you." Jonathan said urging Lionel to leave. Lionel was only more intent on not leaving, there was something special about this boy, and he loved a good mystery. Lionel bent down, so he was eye level with Clark, "Hello there. What's your name?"  
  
Clark stood there motionless, staring at Lionel. "Does he talk?"  
  
"Um..." Jonathan didn't know what was more dangerous, saying yes or no, because he was a terrible lair, and it was quite strange for a child of 3 not to speak at all. "He's shy." So he avoided the question all together, Lionel noted this.  
  
Lionel stood up and ruffled Clark's hair. Clark laughed and hugged Martha's leg. Lionel shook Jonathan's hand again and walked towards his car. Jonathan and Martha let out a sigh at the exact same time, but then held their breath again as Clark ran after Lionel.  
  
Clark held his hand up, as he saw Jonathan do earlier. Lionel laughed as he shook Clark's hand. Lionel stopped laughing, when he found Clark's handshake was stronger than Jonathan's. Clark started laughing again.  
  
"Good handshake, Clark. How old are you?" Lionel asked. Clark smiled and answered, "Lara."  
  
"Who is Lara?" Lionel asked intrigued.  
  
But Clark didn't answer, only starred back with intense green eyes, that knew more than they could say.  
  
Jonathan grabbed Clark and picked him up.  
  
"He mentioned someone named Lara." Lionel said.  
  
"It's just a family relative." Jonathan bluffed, leaving with Clark.  
  
Lionel just smirked.  
  
5 months later  
  
"Martha, I'll be in and out, in 15 minutes." Jonathan said leaving Martha and Clark in the truck, as he walked into the feed store. Clark was asleep on Martha's lap. Martha was startled when Lionel tapped on the car window; she rolled t down.  
  
"Mr. Luther."  
  
"Please, call me Lionel."  
  
"Lionel, I thought you had left Smallville." Martha asked.  
  
"I am here on business, I'm looking into buying some property. Clark looks healthy."  
  
Martha really didn't like the fact that Lionel remembered Clark's name.  
  
"Ya, he is doing good." Martha said nervously. She hoped Clark stayed asleep.  
  
"Well, I was hoping I could talk to your husband about some things." Lionel said.  
  
"Oh, he will be back soon, but we have some errands today. If you like, you could drop by around 6, he'll be home." Martha invited.  
  
"Sounds good, Have a good day Martha."  
  
Martha didn't like how Lionel looked at her.  
  
"I can't do that... the Ross's are my friends. Your plant would ruin them." Jonathan said incredulity, at what Lionel was asking of him.  
  
"Do I need to remind you of the favor I did for you?" Lionel said.  
  
"Are you black mailing me?" Jonathan asked.  
  
"No, of course not, I'm just suggesting that if you love that boy of yours, you do this." Lionel smirked.  
  
Jonathan had never felt angrier in his whole life, or more scared, he had grown to love Clark so much, is such a short amount of time. "Alright. Fine. I'll convince the Rosses to sell you their Cream Corn factory."  
  
"You didn't do your part of the deal. I just got back from a Meeting with Mr. Ross. He wouldn't sell me his land." Lionel said angrily.  
  
"I tried, he heard things about you already, he said he would never sell his land to you." Jonathan pleaded.  
  
"You're lying," Lionel said coolly.  
  
"No, I swear-"  
  
"It doesn't matter, you failed. I'm taking the child." Lionel said in a satisfactory tone.  
  
"No! You can't! You can't just take a child! People will notice!" Jonathan said furious.  
  
"Yes I can. You forget I am the one who made it possible in the first place. As for what you tell your friends, I do not care. You go ahead and try and tell people that I took your son, and you will have a lot more to explain to them, starting with how you got him in the first place." Lionel smirked.  
  
Jonathan swung and missed Lionel. "I wouldn't try that again, Jonathan. It's already done. There is nothing you can do about it."  
  
"What are you going to do with him?" Jonathan was scared for Clark.  
  
"I'll put him in an adoption agency." Lionel said matter-of-factly.  
  
"You can't. He's special." Jonathan said.  
  
Lionel's old curiosity in the child returned to him. "Special how?"  
  
"He just is! You can't. Please, leave him here with us." Jonathan pleaded.  
  
"No." Lionel entered the backseat of a car and drove off. Jonathan ran as fast as he could to the house, "Martha! Where is Clark?"  
  
"They took him!" Martha sobbed.  
  
"no..." Jonathan felt the crushing pain of despair on him.  
  
Lionel was surprised to see a tear streaked Clark in the back seat next to him. "What is the child doing here?"  
  
"We didn't know where else to bring him. You never told us what to do with him." One of Lionel's men told him .  
  
But Lionel wasn't mad, he was actually glad, he wanted to see if Clark really was 'special'. "It's alright. I'll keep him for a few days. I need you to have a doctor waiting at the mansion, I need to run aw tests." Lionel looked at the crying child next to him, he seemed to be a average child. Seeing the upset child was a sore spot for Lionel, with the recent death of his infant son Julian.  
  
"You're alright." Lionel tried to comfort Clark, and ruffled Clark's hair. Clark's eyes lit up at this, in recognition. "So you remember me?"  
  
The little boy nodded, and his crying seemed to stop.  
  
"Sorry, Mr. Luther, I'll take the child." He said as he reached for Clark. Clark was frightened and leaped into Lionel's arms, holding on to him tight, very tight.  
  
"It's alright, I can handle him." Lionel said as Clark cried into his chest.  
  
"You are okay, no one is going to hurt you." Lionel said losening Clark's death grip on him. He was really regretting this now, Clark was bringing up unwanted emotions from Julian's death. He knew the pain of separation from parent and child all too well.  
  
Lionel rubbed Clark's back, "Don't be scared." Clark's sad face was breaking Lionel's heart, and it made him angry that his emotions were getting to him.  
  
"Driver, where are you going?" Lionel asked roughly. "To the mansion." The driver replied.  
  
"Who is going to take care of the child." Lionel couldn't take dealing with Clark who brought up his emotions.  
  
"Someone is going to meet you there, along with the doctor, to tend to the child."  
  
"Good." Lionel said, as he found that Clark had fallen asleep, his little chest rising and falling. For all that it was tearing his heart up, it felt good to hold a child in his arms again, even if it wasn't his.  
  
When they reached the mansion, Clark was still asleep and Lionel carried him in. once inside, Clark awoke, wide eyed and scared. Lionel called in his assistant, "Why isn't someone here to take the child yet?" He was angry.  
  
"Traffic, they will be here in ½ an hour. I can watch the child until then." She said as she tried to take Clark out of Lionel's arms. Clark buried his face in Lionel's chest and squeezed on tighter to Lionel.  
  
"Clark, go with her." Lionel directed.  
  
"No..." Clark started crying and put his arms around Lionel's neck, "No..."  
  
Lionel handed Clark to his secretary but he escaped her grasp and ran back to Lionel and held on to his leg so hard it was hurting Lionel.  
  
Lionel sighed and loosened Clark's grip on his leg, "I'll watch him."  
  
"Are you sure?" His secretary sounded worried for Clark, she had seen Lionel lose his temper, and Lionel heard her thoughts.  
  
"Yes I'm sure. I can watch a kid, Have you forgotten I am a father?" Lionel was duly annoyed and his secretary left immediately.  
  
"Clark... Clark, let go of my leg." Lionel said, pulling Clark off of him. "Don't be scared."  
  
"I'm sorry." Clark said looking down.  
  
Lionel swatted down next to Clark, "What are you sorry for?"  
  
"I made you mad." Clark's lower lip quivered. Lionel was surprised, first that Clark could talk, he was 3 ½ but the last time he saw Clark, he could one say a word. He learned fast, that was good.  
  
"No, you didn't make me mad." Lionel was just angry with himself, and depressed by memories of Julian. Lionel picked Clark up, "How old are you, Clark?"  
  
Clark held up 3 fingers and smiled. "Wow, you are a big boy aren't you?"  
  
"uh huh!" Clark smiled.  
  
Lionel walked over to a bird cage in the corner of the room and Clark laughed at the bird.  
  
"Open." Clark said reaching for the cage's door.  
  
"No, you can't open that."  
  
A doctor walked into the room. "You wanted me, Mr. Luther."  
  
"Yes, I want you to run some tests on this boy."  
  
"What kind of tests?"  
  
"I want you to see if he is healthy, or... different from normal kids his age." Lionel instructed him.  
  
"Um... okay... I only have the supplies here to take a blood & DNA test." The doctor told Lionel.  
  
"Okay, then what are you waiting for? You can do those now, and come back for the rest tomorrow.  
  
Clark didn't even flinch when the needle was pulled out. Lionel looked on in admiration, the little boy was brave, a good Luther quality he wished his son Lex had more of.  
  
"Will you hold him still, incase he tries to move while I'm extracting the blood?" The doctor asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
When the needle went into Clark's tiny arm, Lionel could feel Clark's grip on him tighten.  
  
"Strange..." the doctor said.  
  
"What?" Lionel asked.  
  
"It's just.... I thought this was a brand new needle, it had trouble going in. I'm sorry." The doctor apologized, then took a swab of Clark's mouth, and slipped it into a little tube.  
  
"I'll come back tomorrow at 7am, to finish the tests." The doctor said, leaving.  
  
"You were so brave, Clark." Lionel really liked this kid.  
  
"You were here." Clark said resting his head against Lionel's shoulder. Lionel couldn't control his emotions, Clark was what he wanted. Clark seemed to need him as much as he did.  
  
"I'm so sorry! There was a car accident, and we got stuck." A woman came into the room, presumably Clark's babysitter.  
  
"It's okay." And it really was, he didn't mind watching Clark, in fact he enjoyed it. Lionel almost laughed at the thought.  
  
"I can take the child now. It's late. Almost 2am, I'm sure he'll go to sleep." She said reaching out for Clark.  
  
"Clark, go with her. It's okay. I'll come see you tomorrow." And with that promise Clark went with her.  
  
"Is there an empty room that I could lay him down in?" she asked.  
  
"Room 167, at the very end of the hall, left to the entrance." Lionel told her. "I'll show you." He said, his room was only 2 away from hers, and he was tired  
  
Lionel woke up to find Clark snuggled next to him. How did he get in? Where was his babysitter? He left sleeping Clark, and walked into room 167, and found the doorknob broken and the babysitter asleep.  
  
"What happened to the door?" He asked waking her.  
  
"I don't know... Oh my God! Where is the boy? I locked the door..." She looked scared.  
  
"I found him in my bed." Lionel was annoyed with her incompetence.  
  
"Mr. Luther, I'm so sorry, I swear, the door was locked and I didn't' think he could get out." Lionel believed her and walked back into his room and woke Clark up.  
  
"Did you break the doorknob Clark?"  
  
"Sorry." Clark said. Lionel grabbed his cell phone and called his the doctor for the previous day. "What did you find in the boy's results?"  
  
"Well, Mr. Luther, My computers must have a virus, because his results came out messed up." He revealed.  
  
"What do you mean messed up?" Lionel asked.  
  
"It says that his results are, well, I've never really seen anything like it before, some of his genes are similar to humans, but the rest, I've never seen them before. I'm sorry, I'll run them again once I fix my computer."  
  
"How can this be? He looks just like a regular boy?" Lionel asked frustrated by lack of answers.  
  
"I don't know Mr. Luther, I've never seen anything like this before. All the tests came out the same, even the new ones I ran with the fresh samples. Where did you get this boy?" The doctor was rattled.  
  
"You are never to tell anyone of these results, understand?" Lionel threatened.  
  
"Yes, of course." The doctor exited the room, leaving Lionel alone in his thoughts.  
  
Jonathan had said he was special... I've seen him use ridiculous strength for a toddler many times... What do I do with him? Jonathan was right, I can't possibly put him up for adoption. He could get out of control, who knows what he will do. I have to keep him here, were I can keep an eye on him. But I can't condemn a little child to a caged life... Ah! I'm being so soft. Julian's death is weighing down on me. But still... I can't deny my affection I've gained for this child within only a couple of days.  
  
After much thought, Lionel dialed a number on his cell phone, "There was a boy named Clark Kent, in the adoption agency about 6 months ago... Yes, that is the one. I need you to change the names of the guardians... Instead of the Kents, I want My wife's and my name there... good." 


	2. Growing Up

1 year later  
  
Lionel walked out of Lex's principle's office. Lex was sitting outside, nervously waiting his punishment. "Let's go, Lex." Lionel said angrily, as they both walked out of the elementary school. Lex was silent as he followed his father to the car; once inside Lionel spoke, "Alright Lex, I'm getting real tired of this. Why did you do it?"  
  
"They were picking on me!" 10 year old Lex pleaded.  
  
"You are a Luther, and Luther's don't let there emotions get the better of them, it only leads to trouble." Lionel sighed, "No more fights Lex, I'm serious."  
  
Lex just nodded and sank back into his seat. Why couldn't his father understand? Everyone there picked on him, he didn't have any friends at all. They all laughed at him, and he couldn't take it anymore; he felt like crying.  
  
"Lex, stop pouting." Lionel said annoyed as he started the car and drove away from the school, home. Lex jumped out of the car and ran inside the house, away from his father. Lionel went inside too.  
  
"Lionel, what wrong with Lex?" His wife asked.  
  
"Nothing, Lillian. He is just pouting. He got into another fight at school." Lionel said taking off his coat.  
  
"Why? What happened?" Lillian asked concerned.  
  
"Does it really matter? This is just what Lex does." Lionel said coldly.  
  
"Yes, Lionel, it does!" Lillian said angry. "I'm going to talk to him."  
  
"Lex?" 4 ½ year-old Clark said coming into Lex's room, "What's wrong?"  
  
"I got in trouble at school." Lex told his little brother. Clark climbed up onto the bed, next to Lex.  
  
"What did they do?" Clark asked.  
  
"They were teasing me... no one likes me there." Lex confessed.  
  
"I like you, Lex." Clark said. "Is dad mad?"  
  
"He doesn't care. He is just mad that he had to come to the school to talk to my principle."  
  
Lillian walked into the room, and Clark ran out. She sat on the bed next to Lex and rubbed his back, "I know they hurt you, but you have to try and not let it bother you."  
  
"But they are so mean, mom." Lex said, glad that someone cared.  
  
Meanwhile Clark ran downstairs to greet his dad. Lionel smiled when he spied Clark, "Hey Clark."  
  
"Hi." Clark said as sat in a chair near Lionel. After a long pause Clark said, "Are you mad?"  
  
"No, I'm not mad." Lionel said getting up and walking into the kitchen. "Are you hungry, Clark?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
They didn't have very much help in the house, only the maid and cook. Lionel worried that the more people exposed to Clark, that his secrets would be exposed. He gave up a lot to ensure Clark's safety, and that was one of the reasons he stayed in Smallville.  
  
Lillian came down the stairs, "Lionel, I need to talk to you."  
  
"Not now, Lillian." Lionel said annoyed.  
  
"Yes now!" Lillian was upset.  
  
"What is it?" Lionel asked.  
  
Lillian walked over to face Lionel, "Your son is in a lot of pain and you don't even care! How can you be so cruel to Lex?"  
  
"Lillian, not in front of Clark." Lionel warned.  
  
"Of course not! Do you always have to favor him? You have 2 sons you know!" Lillian said on the brink of tears.  
  
"Clark, go upstairs." Lionel said in a calm voice. Once Clark had left, "Lex started the fight, Lillian. When you indulge him like this, you only encourage this kind of behavior."  
  
"He wants your attention more than anything! These fights are a cry for attention from YOU! They tease him constantly, Lionel. Just show him some love." Lillian said frustrated and angry.  
  
"I'll raise my son how I see fit." Lionel said, "You are making Lex weak."  
  
1 year later  
  
"Alright Clark, remember, you can't tell anyone about your... abilities, the other kids aren't like you." Lionel instructed Clark on his first day of kindergarten.  
  
"I know Dad. You've told me a gazillion times." Clark said, leaving Lionel, and walking towards the other kids, more specifically, a girl. Lionel left.  
  
"Hi." The girl greeted Clark.  
  
"I'm Clark."  
  
"My name is Lana." The little girl smiled shyly.  
  
"My dad is famous." Clark bragged, trying to impress Lana.  
  
"My parents died." Lana said sadly.  
  
"Then who takes care of you?" Clark asked curiously. He had never really dealt with death before.  
  
"My new parents. I'll show you." Lana said taking Clark's hand and leading them over to two people.  
  
"This is Clark, he is my friend." Lana told her parents.  
  
Clark felt like he had done something wrong, by the look Lana's parents were giving him, they were just starring at him.  
  
"Jonathan...is that..." Martha asked starring down at Clark.  
  
"Clark..." Jonathan bent down, "what is your last name?"  
  
"Luther" Clark beamed.  
  
Martha started crying but said, "Hi Clark."  
  
Clark whispered into Lana's ear, "Did I make your mom cry?"  
  
"Martha, lets go." Jonathan said pulling his wife outside the classroom.  
  
"Oh my god, Jonathan, it's Clark." Martha cried in Jonathon's arms.  
  
"I know..."  
  
"He is so big! I just want to go hug him..." Martha was crushed by old emotions.  
  
"How was school, Clark?" Lionel was a little nervous.  
  
"So fun! I made a friend. Her name is Lana-"  
  
"Clark, you didn't tell Lana your secret, did you?" Lionel asked.  
  
"No, I'm not supposed to tell anyone. Only you, mom, and Lex." Clark recited.  
  
"That's right." Lionel said happily.  
  
1 week later  
  
"Lana, were are you going?" Clark said.  
  
"My parents don't want me going here anymore. I can't come back. I'm going somewhere else." Lana told her friend.  
  
"Why?" Clark asked sadly.  
  
"I donno... but my mom starts crying every time I talk about you, and Dad gets mad. I think they don't want me being friends with a BOY." Lana said sadly.  
  
"But we are best friends... you can't leave." Clark said holding Lana's hand.  
  
"Lana, let's go." Jonathan said walking Lana out of the classroom.  
  
Clark was so mad, he wanted his friend back. He just walked out of class, and the teacher followed him, "Clark get back into the classroom."  
  
"NO!" Clark yelled and ran, not fast, because he is never supposed to run fast, but faster than his teacher.  
  
"Mr. Luther, we have a bit of a problem with Clark." Clark's kindergarten teacher informed him.  
  
"What kind of problem?" Lionel wondered.  
  
"He is very upset and well... I tried to stop him, but he..." She was afraid how Lionel, a powerful man, would react. "He was fast, and I couldn't leave the other children... Clark ran off... I'm going to call the police and-"  
  
"No, it's okay. I have Clark, he is fine." Lionel lied. He knew Clark wasn't going to get hurt, and he would just go find him, himself. But it turns out that he really did have Clark. Clark had run home.  
  
"Clark, what happened?" Lionel asked, making Clark look at him.  
  
"Lana left. I hate her parents." Clark said coldly. It almost frightened Lionel, he had never seen Clark be anything but good natured, sure he had his tantrums but...  
  
"What? Why" Lionel asked, as he wiped away tears on Clark's cheeks.  
  
"Because they don't like Lana being friends with a boy." Clark said angrily.  
  
"I don't think that is it, Clark. Who are Lana's parents?" Lionel said wanting to laugh.  
  
"Her new parents are the Kents."  
  
Lionel was shocked. He didn't want Clark having anything to do with Martha and Jonathan, and I'm sure they felt the same way.  
  
"Clark, stop crying. Be a big boy. You will meet other friends. You can't just run off." Lionel said rather coldly.  
  
"Nu uh! What if I'm like Lex and no one wants to be my friend." Clark confessed his hidden fear.  
  
"That is not going to happen." Lionel didn't like facing the fact that his other son, his real son, was so weak that he couldn't grab a single friend. "No more of this behavior, Clark. You are different, and I don't want anymore attention drawn to you. Do you understand me?"  
  
Clark knew how scary his father could be sometimes and he never wanted to be yelled at like Lex was, "Yes."  
  
"Good." Lionel wasn't going to let Clark be weak like Lex. Clark was in a bad mood, and ran up to his room, and punched a hole in the door, and fought the urge to cry. He picked up his toy truck and threw it at the door, making another hole.  
  
"Clark! What are you doing?" Lionel said referring to the holes.  
  
"Go away!" Clark yelled and turned away from his father. Lionel grabbed Clark by the arm,  
  
"I said stop acting like this. No more tantrums, Clark." Lionel let Clark go and went back downstairs.  
  
2 years later  
  
"Get out of my room, Clark." Lex yelled.  
  
"I just wanted to see what you were doing. You don't have to be so mean just because you are older." 8-year-old Clark said.  
  
"Okay, you saw what I'm doing, now get out." 13-year old Lex said annoyed with his brother.  
  
"You're just mad because you in trouble again!" Clark retorted.  
  
"Shut up! Just because dad likes you more!" Lex shouted.  
  
"Well mom loves you more!" Clark yelled back, hurt.  
  
That was how it had also been, Lex was Lillian's favorite, and Clark was Lionel's. Ever since the incident with Julian, Lionel seemed to hate Lex, and Lillian never wanted another child, and felt like Clark took away from Lionel's and Lex's relationship. But miraculously the two children hadn't been pit against each other, and were remarkably close, but like all brothers they did their share of fighting.  
  
"Get out Clark." Lex didn't like this subject.  
  
Clark left the room with pouting, only to return a few minutes later.  
  
"Clark, I said to get out." Lex was really getting annoyed.  
  
"Mom told me to get you for dinner! Gosh! You don't have to yell at me every second!" Clark said hurt.  
  
"Sorry, I thought you were in here to bug me for the billionth time, squirt." Lex said throwing Clark on the bed playfully.  
  
"Clark! Lex!" Lillian called from downstairs.  
  
"Lex..."  
  
Lex had seen that face so many times on Clark, "What?"  
  
"Is something bad going to happen?" Clark asked.  
  
"No, why would you ask that."  
  
"Because we never have dinner together and when we do, mom and dad just fight." Clark said, getting off the bed and walking towards the door.  
  
"Everyone fights, Clark. Relax." Lex said as the two boys raced down the stairs.  
  
Clark sat by Lionel, and Lex by Lillian.  
  
"How was your day, kids?" Lillian was trying to have a good family conversation for once.  
  
"Why don't you tell your mother how your day was, Lex." Lionel said coldly.  
  
Lillian sensed some knowledge between the two.  
  
"What am I missing?" She asked.  
  
"I got suspended from school." Lex said looking down, hating disappointing his mother.  
  
"Again." Lionel added.  
  
"Lex, what happened?" Lillian asked.  
  
"He did what he always does, he gets in trouble and I have to come in after him and clean up his mess!" Lionel raised his voice.  
  
"Lionel please." Lillian said.  
  
"What? You want me to what? Tell him how proud I am that he screwed up again?" Lionel said getting even louder.  
  
"I'm sorry! God! I hate you so much!" Lex said standing up in his chair and started to run off, but Lionel grabbed him,  
  
"You do NOT talk to me that way." Lionel said gripping Lex's arm.  
  
"Let go of me!" Lex shouted and tried to get free of Lionel's grasp.  
  
Clark ran over to the scene, "Don't yell at him." Clark pleaded.  
  
"Stay out of this, Clark." Lionel warned.  
  
"You would never yell at Clark! Let me go you bastard!" Lex yelled.  
  
"Maybe I don't yell at him, because he doesn't screw up ever 5 seconds!" Lionel countered.  
  
"Dad, please, stop!" Clark yelled.  
  
"I will not let you throw away everything I've done for you! You will finish the year without being expelled or-" Lionel was interrupted.  
  
"Or What! You'll ground me? Or will you stop loving me? Oh wait! You already did that!" Lex screamed.  
  
"Enough! Lionel let him go!" Lillian said, getting between the two, as Lex ran up to his room and slammed the door.  
  
"I've had enough of his behavior, Lillian! I'm sending him to that boarding school!" Lionel said.  
  
"No, Lionel... that isn't going to fix anything. Please..." Lillian pleaded.  
  
"One more thing... and he is gone." Lionel declared.  
  
Clark hated this more than any thing in the world. He couldn't stand Lex and Lionel fighting. Clark loved Lex, but he loved Lionel too.  
  
Lionel looked at a scared Clark, starring back at him, "Clark... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that in front of you."  
  
"You shouldn't have done it at all." Lillian said, running up to Lex's room.  
  
"What did Lex do that was so bad?" Clark wanted to know.  
  
"Clark, you don't need to worry about this stuff." Lionel said. Clark and Lionel finished dinner in silence until Lionel finally asked Clark, "I have to go on a trip for business, I'll be gone for a week."  
  
"But you won't be here for Christmas!" Clark couldn't contain the disappointment he felt.  
  
"That is why I want you to come with me." Lionel said.  
  
"Really! Just you and me." Clark said excited.  
  
"Yes, really." Lionel said smiling at Clark's reaction.  
  
"wait... but what about Lex?" Clark couldn't picture Christmas without his brother, or without his Dad.  
  
"It's your choice, Clark." Lionel said.  
  
"Alright. I'll go." Clark said.  
  
6 months later  
  
"Mom, I love you." Lex said as his mother lay in a hospital bed, trying to fight her cancer, but failing horribly.  
  
"I love you too, Alexander. So much... You are my favorite person in the whole world." Lillian said.  
  
"Mom, you can't die... I need you so much. Please..." Lex felt hot tears well up in his eyes.  
  
"I'll always be with you, baby. Always." She tried to comfort him.  
  
"No...No..." Lex held her cold hand, as the life slipped out of her.  
  
Lionel and Clark watched from outside the room, having already said their goodbyes. Clark let out a cry as he saw her monitor flat line. "No!" Lionel held Clark in his arms, rubbing his back.  
  
Clark and Lionel went into the room, and Clark hugged Lex, and they both cried uncontrollably. "I need her, Clark! I need her so bad..." Lex cried, and Clark knew, he could feel his brother's pain.  
  
It got so much worse for Lex after Lillian's death. He was sent off to boarding school at 14, and he didn't care anymore, he was as bad as he wanted to be, and Lionel just covered up his messes. Clark stayed in Smallville with Lionel, and he dealt with Lillian's death remarkably well, but Clark couldn't help but remember a girl he knew once, who lost both her parents, and sad she must have been, it was the first time he thought about Lana in a long, long time.  
  
Clark was 14 now, and Lex had been sent back to Smallville to run one of his father's plants, or as Lex called it, "the crap factory."  
  
Lionel wanted Clark to go to some fancy prep school, but after much pleading, had managed to grant permission to attend Smallville High. Clark wanted to be normal, not only was he different with his strength and speed, but he was also one of the richest kids in the world.  
  
Clark stepped into the school, two months before school actually started, right on time for his meeting with one of the school counselors (she was going to help him pick out his classes).  
  
As Clark was coming out, he decided he should walk back to the mansion. He didn't like Smallville that much, but he didn't hate it.  
  
He wasn't watching were he was going and completely collided with someone. "Oh, I'm, sorry." Clark said helping up the girl he just knocked over.  
  
"It's okay." The girl smiled back.  
  
"Have we met before?" Clark asked her.  
  
"I'm not sure. Probably, this is Smallville." She laughed brushing a hair behind her ear. "I'm Lana Lang."  
  
"I'm Clark." He didn't like to tell people his last name, they always got weird around him once they knew.  
  
"Are you going to Smallville high next year?" Lana asked.  
  
"Yep. How bout you?"  
  
"Yes, freshman year... the thought is a little scary." She admitted.  
  
"Ya, whatever." Clark never really thought about it.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll get going." Lana said feeling like she was somehow lower than Clark.  
  
Clark just turned and left, didn't even say good bye. Lana was a little pissed off, he trampled her, and he acted as if she was an annoyance to him.  
  
Clark didn't like getting close to people, afraid they would find out the truth.  
  
3 months later  
  
Lana was wrapping up her shift at the Beanery; there was no one in the coffee house, so she just decided to close up early. Before she got to the door, a large man walked in holding a gun, "Empty the register."  
  
Lana froze. "Now!" He yelled. She couldn't move, she was too scared. The man grabbed a handful of her hair and she left out a scream.  
  
Clark heard someone scream as he was wandering the streets and ran into the store it came from.  
  
"Let her go!" Clark yelled. The man threw Lana towards the counter. "Get out of here boy!" He yelled.  
  
"Give me the money!" He barked at Lana.  
  
She did what he asked, keeping her eyes on the gun at all times, and handed him the bag with the money in it.  
  
Just as he was about to leave, he heard cop sirens. "You lil bitch, did you set off an alarm?"  
  
The man fired at Lana, and Clark jumped in front of her, taking the bullet. The robber panicked and fled. Clark panicked too, and turned to see Lana wide eyed and shocked.  
  
"How did you..."  
  
"Please, don't tell anyone." Clark ran out. 


	3. Result

Clark ran back the mansion. He calmed down once he remembered all the other times people had discovered his abilities, his father always made sure no one said a word. But Clark knew the ways he made sure people shut up, and he really didn't want to put Lana through that. Clark had seen her at school tons of times, she was the head cheerleader, and he was on the football team.  
  
She was just like everyone else, and when heard the name Luther, only wanted something from him, or was scared of the power his name held. He wasn't going to tell his father. If Lana told anyone, then he would tell Lionel and he could shut her up before anyone believed her.  
  
Clark was in the middle of his thoughts when his big bother came walking in.  
  
"Hey Clark." 20 year old Lex greeted his brother.  
  
"Hi, Lex." Clark was surprised to see Lex, he hadn't come to visit him in a long time. "Where have you been?"  
  
"I took a little vacation, with Sarah." Lex chuckled.  
  
"Lex, dad is so pissed off! You just left for two weeks!" Clark burst out.  
  
"There were people running the plant, and I don't need dad's permission to leave." Lex said defensively.  
  
"Whatever." Clark said, turning on the TV, tuning out is brother, he didn't want to deal with him right now.  
  
"Whoa, some one is grumpy!" Lex said.  
  
"I just don't want any of your shit right now, Lex!" Clark said getting pissed off.  
  
"Relax." Lex said pouring a glass of scotch and handing it to Clark, "This will calm you down" He teased, and once Clark took the drink he said, "So Clark, seriously, what's wrong with you."  
  
"Nothing!" Clark said. Lex started at him. "Fine! Something, but it doesn't matter."  
  
"Did you do something?" Lex could tell by Clark's mood that it probably had something to do with his...special abilities, because that as the one thing that could bug him.  
  
"Well, you promise you won't tell Dad?" Clark asked.  
  
"Clark, seriously, how often do I even talk to Lionel?" Lex laughed.  
  
"Alright..." And Clark relayed the evening's events.  
  
"Don't worry Clark. And you know, despite what Dad says, you CAN tell people about yourself. I mean, don't tell just anyone, but you can make a friend and let him or her in on it." Lex said, "If it goes badly, Dad will come to your rescue."  
  
"No Lex. People will just freak out. I'm a freak, you don't just tell people that." Clark said matter of factly.  
  
Clark greet his friends as he walked threw the hallway, he was popular, Clark guessed because of his name more than that people actually liked him. But he did have some real friends.  
  
When Clark got out of the bathroom, the bell had already rung and there were only 4 people in the hallway. He headed for his class, when Lana stepped in front of him.  
  
"I wanted to thank you for saving life." Lana said.  
  
"uh... yer welcome." Clark said side stepping her, and kept walking, until he felt a hand grab his arm.  
  
"Clark..."  
  
"What?" Clark wasn't about to explain himself to her.  
  
"How long have you been able to do that?" She ask, not scared, but curious.  
  
"I donno, forever." Clark said, surprised she wasn't freaking out. "I guess I'm one in a million." He said sarcastically and turned away from her and stated walking.  
  
"Actually you're not." Lana said, making Clark turn around and cock an eyebrow at her, urging her to explain. "Well, I have this friend, and it's more her obsession than mine, but me and her have seen so many people in Smallville with abilities that no human should have."  
  
"Oh really? You're lying." Clark said, he didn't like this.  
  
"I'm not. Come by the torch after school, I'll show you. I'm not trying to embarrass or expose you, Clark." She said as she hurried off to class.  
  
"Wall of weird?" Clark said intrigued, and on edge. All these articles and people were different like him. "And you guys aren't scared by this stuff?"  
  
"Well some of it can be a scary, especially because most the people infected by the meteor rocks go crazy and try and kill us or our friends." Chloe laughed, and when Lana shot her a cold stare she muttered, "sorry."  
  
"So you think that the reason I'm so fast and strong is because of the meteor rocks?" Clark said prying his eyes away from the "Wall of Weird."  
  
"Yes." Chloe smirked, "You know Clark, your not as bad I thought you would be."  
  
"Thanks" Clark said sarcastically.  
  
"No, I mean, spoiled rich kid, who is bulletproof, and hero by night, it would make a great story for the front page of the "torch"." Chloe laughed.  
  
"What?" Clark said worriedly, "You are not putting me in your trashy newsletter, in fact if either of you tell anyone about this-"  
  
"Relax, I was joking. I won't tell anyone." Chloe said.  
  
"Why aren't you guys freaked out by me?" Clark felt accepted.  
  
"The shock wears off, you're not so special." Lana teased Clark.  
  
"I mean it though, you two can never tell anyone." Clark said in an intimidating voice.  
  
"We won't, don't worry." Chloe said. "But it's nothing to be ashamed of, I think it's cool."  
  
Clark's face lit up, and they stayed for hours talking about all the weird things related in Smallville, and then on to personal stuff, and family stories and their background.  
  
"Where were you?" Lionel asked as Clark poured in the door at 3am.  
  
"Out." Clark said, plopping on the couch, turning on the TV.  
  
"You usually aren't one, so be staying out all night." Lionel said casually. "What were you doing?"  
  
"uh... I was..." Clark hadn't no intention of telling Lionel he had just exposed everything to two girls he barely knew at all, and even more, that he liked it. "just screwing around with the guys."  
  
"So I see Lex finally came back." Lionel stated.  
  
"Ya." Clark constantly had to choose sides, but not tonight. "I'm going to bed. Night."  
  
6 months later  
  
"Do you guys want to go to Metropolis this weekend?" Clark ask his two best friends.  
  
"Can't, Clark. I have to spend more 'quality time' with the parents." Lana said. "But hey, maybe you guys can come over, you know, make it more bearable for me?"  
  
"I'm in, it gets me out of painting the bathroom with my dad this weekend." Chloe laughed.  
  
"I just realized, the 6 months we've been friends, I haven't ever properly met your parents, Lana. And this is SMALLVILLE, that is a amazing." Clark joked.  
  
"I know, I just don't really want to say the wrong thing about you, so I kind of just don't talk about you at all to them. I know I'm horrible, but I don't want to accidentally say something!" Lana confessed.  
  
"Relax, you won't say anything. Plus, parents love me." Chloe and Lana burst into laughter.  
  
"Ya, Clark, in your dreams! The last thing a parent wants to hear is that their kid is best friends with Clark Luther!" Chloe teased, "You are a great guy, but face it, you're a parents worst nightmare."  
  
"Hey, your dad loves me!" Clark said.  
  
"You got lucky on that one." Chloe teased.  
  
"This weekend is going to be interesting." Chloe laughed. 


	4. Revealed

"Dad..." Clark addressed Lionel as they waited for Clark's doctor to come, as he did every two weeks, to run tests on Clark and make sure nothing had changed, Clark hated these exams, but Lionel insisted o them, and he did it to make his father happy.  
  
"What?" Lionel asked seeing the uneasiness in Clark's eyes.  
  
"Have you ever wondered why I'm different?" Clark asked seriously.  
  
"Well... of course I have, but Clark, some things just can't be explained." Lionel told his son.  
  
"But what if they can. What if I'm not the only freak?" Clark insisted.  
  
"You're not a freak; you're a Luther. Clark, I don't know if there is or not? Where is all this coming from?" Lionel asked.  
  
"What if I knew why I was different?" Clark was testing Lionel, he wanted so badly to share the information Chloe and Lana had provided him.  
  
"Do you know something, Clark?"  
  
"Uh..." Clark didn't know how to say he thought the meteors had affected him, without telling him that Chloe and Lana knew his secret.  
  
"Clark, you better tell what you know right now." Lionel sounded edgy, and Clark could never believably lie to his father, he always knew, even if he didn't say so.  
  
"But...I don't know, know... I just had an idea?" Clark was trying hard to word this right, leaving Chloe and Lana out of it, "Smallville has had some weird stuff happen here, and-"  
  
"What weird stuff?" Lionel was aware of the 20 pound tomatoes and other odd things like this, but every place had its share of weird happenings.  
  
"Like? People." Clark regretted ever bringing this up to his father.  
  
"Explain." Lionel said.  
  
"Okay... Well some people at school, they have this theory that all the weird people and things in Smallville are related to the meteor rocks, Dad, it's really strange things, like people who have abilities like me, well not like me, but? this one kid could read minds, and another could shape shift and? Dad, I know it sounds crazy, but they saw it. What if that is what happened to me? What if the meteors messed with my body, and that is why I can do, what I do." Clark said taking a deep breath, not wanting to hear Lionel's reaction.  
  
"That is not what happened to you." Lionel stated.  
  
"But how do you know?" Clark said disappointed.  
  
"Clark... I never told you this, well because I didn't think it mattered, but when you about 5 or 6, I started trying to figure out any possible reason for you. For why you are different, and these people you're talking about... these meteor infected people, they have human DNA, but it's twisted a little bit... your DNA is completely different, it's utterly unique." Lionel said sounding proud, of what Clark didn't know.  
  
"What? You knew about the meteors, and what they did, and never told me? Dad, this means I wasn't the only one!" Clark was mad.  
  
"What would you have done if you knew? It doesn't change anything." Lionel said.  
  
"You should have told me." Clark was mad.  
  
The doctor walked in, "Alright, ready to get started, Clark?"  
  
"I'm not doing them." Clark stomped out of the room. The doctor looked to Lionel,  
  
"Your excused doctor."  
  
"Clark what's wrong?" Lana said as she passed Clark in the school halls,  
  
"Nothing." Clark was trying to get into a better mood, and just wanted to forgot his conversation with his father.  
  
"You are such a bad lair, you know." Lana teased. Clark wished he could just say, 'I'm just not feeling well' or some other excuse, but he couldn't. "Well, are you still coming over tonight?" Lana asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Of course." Clark was so grateful for the distraction from his problems at home.  
  
"Where are you going?" Lex asked Clark.  
  
"I'm going to a friend's house for dinner." Clark relayed.  
  
"What's the matter, you don't want to be around when me and Dad start going at it with each other?" Lex said. Clark knew that Lionel and Lex were going to start fighting about Lex's vacation, and that was basically the whole reason Lex was over here, to start trouble with Lionel. It just gave Clark yet another reason to get out.  
  
"No, but if I stayed, I might actually help you Lex." Clark said bitterly.  
  
"Are my ears deceiving me? Could daddy's little boy ACTUALLY be fighting with him?" Lex poked fun.  
  
Clark sighed, "Ya. But it doesn't matter. I'll be back later." Clark left, all Lex did was try and make Clark see "the real Lionel", just because Lex hated his father, didn't mean he had to.  
  
"Chloe, anything I should know before meeting Lana's parents?" Clark asked as they walked to Lana's door.  
  
"Geez, Clark, why are you so worried about meeting her parents?" Chloe said, cocking an eyebrow at him, "You act as if you are meeting the In- Laws."  
  
Clark ignored her and knocked on the door, and Lana answered.  
  
"Hey guys, come on in." Lana smiled. "Hope you guys like chicken." And once they were all inside "Okay, let the forced family bonding begin."  
  
They all laughed, and walked into the dining room. "Hey Mrs. Kent." Chloe said as she sat down."  
  
"Mom, this is Clark." Lana introduced them.  
  
Martha just stared at Clark, almost coldly. Great, Clark thought, this is going to be a pleasant evening, they obviously weren't fans of the Luthers.  
  
"Hi, Clark." Martha said leaving quickly.  
  
Lana felt awkward, she didn't think he mom would be that rude to Clark, she didn't' even know him, I made a point not to tell her his last name, until they got to know him. But I'm sure they recognized him as a Luther.   
  
"Jonathan, the kids are here." Martha said to Jonathan in the kitchen.  
  
"Okay, lets go eat."  
  
"No?" Martha said halting him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know Lana's friend Clark?" Martha asked.  
  
"Um, I've heard her talk about him before, but isn't that why we are here? To meet her friends?" Jonathan said.  
  
"You already know him." Martha said, "It's Clark... Luther."  
  
"What? Lana never said... Martha... she can't be... best friends with... are you sure?" Jonathan asked.  
  
"I'm sure, I recognize him, I've seen him hundreds of times, I know." Martha said.  
  
"Well... can you deal with this?" Jonathan asked, already knowing the answer. It had been so many years ago, and they only had Clark for 6 months, but for Martha, it was like losing her first child, and she would always remember, and with the memory came the pain.  
  
"I can't... I don't want to see what he has grown into... as a Luther, I've heard so many bad things, Jonathan." Martha said.  
  
"Okay, Martha, you don't have to." Jonathan left the kitchen and returned within a minute. "I told the kids we wouldn't get in their way tonight, and that they could just have fun. You don't have to see him."  
  
"Whoa, Clark... I guess parents REALLY don't' like you." Chloe couldn't help saying it.  
  
"Clark, I'm sorry, I guess I should have told them more about you. But I'm sure they just want to..." Lana didn't know what to say. Her parents were never this rude before, Lana couldn't even pass it off, it was way too obvious; they didn't like Clark.  
  
"It's fine. Maybe I should just go." Clark felt like an outsider.  
  
"No." Lana said.  
  
"Hey, Clark, maybe you could take us to Metropolis." Chloe said hopeful, "Please, Clark?" She gave him puppy dog eyes. It was no secret Chloe loved the city, where she grew up and talked Clark into bringing her there every chance she got.  
  
Clark smiled, he had NO problem walking out on this dinner, "You want to come Lana?"  
  
"Yes!" Chloe said already getting her coat.  
  
"I'd love to." Lana said, not even asking her parents, she didn't care after how they treated Clark.  
  
Lana tip toed in around 12am, it was Saturday night and just barely made it in before her curfew, but she didn't even let them know were she was. She hoped her parents were asleep. She had so much fun with Clark and Chloe tonight, it was worth getting in trouble for.  
  
"Lana." Jonathan said angrily.  
  
"Hi Dad." Lana said nervously.  
  
"Where were you?" He asked more coldly than she had expected.  
  
"I was out with Chloe and Clark. Clark took us out to dinner." Lana admitted.  
  
"I should have known. Lana, you shouldn't be hanging out with Clark Luther." Jonathan got to the real issue.  
  
"Why? He is my friend." Lana said defensively.  
  
"He is a bad influence, I won't have my daughter hanging around with any of the Luthers." Jonathan raised his voice.  
  
"No he isn't. Have I ever gotten in trouble the 6 months I've been friends with him? No! I can be friends with whoever I want!" Lana shouted.'  
  
"No you won't! Lana, Luthers are trouble." Jonathan warned.  
  
"I don't know why you hate them so much! Clark isn't like his family." Lana said knowing Lex's reputation.  
  
"They raised him. Lana, trust me on this one. I've been around longer and I know what the Luthers are like. Stop hanging out with that boy." Jonathan commanded.  
  
"No, Clark is a good guy!" Lana stomped up to her room.  
  
"Clark, I'm sorry, I didn't think it would upset you so much, if I would have known, I would have told you." Lionel said walking into Clark's room. Clark had long forgotten their fight.  
  
"It's okay, Dad. I kind of over reacted." Clark said taking off his shoes.  
  
"Listen, I know you want answers, and it must be frustrating not getting them." When Clark didn't say anything, "So did you have fun tonight."  
  
"I guess... how do you deal with everyone hating you?" Clark had dealt with it so much, but it really hurt this time.  
  
"Lex told me you went out with your friends... Clark, sometimes friends turn on each other, but you just have to be strong and-" Lionel was cut off.  
  
"Chloe and Lana would never turn on me." Clark said too defensively, and felt he had to explain, "It was Lana Lang's parents."  
  
"Well Clark, if the Lang's choose to feel that way towards yo-"  
  
"Kents." Clark corrected his father.  
  
"Jonathan and Martha Kent?" Lionel eyes shone with recognition.  
  
"You know them. Is that why they hate me?" Clark was hopeful for another explanation.  
  
Lionel did not want his son by the Kents, no matter what. Clark could never know.  
  
"Clark, just ignore them. Don't put yourself among people like that." He needed to put a rift between Lana and Clark, no connection to the Kents was acceptable.  
  
"Dad, I have to tell you something." Clark looked down.  
  
"What did you do, Clark?" Lionel knew Clark's mannerisms and red flagged the lack of eye contact.  
  
"Lana and Chloe... they know." Clark admitted terrified of the outcome.  
  
"Clark? how could you let them find out? Where you that careless that you don't even bother to protect yourself!" Lionel yelled. When Clark just sat there, Lionel continued, "I knew you were keeping something from me... How long have they known?"  
  
"6 months. They haven't told anyone Dad, it's okay, it's fine." Clark said.  
  
"No it's not. You can't trust people like that Clark! They will tell someone, Clark you shouldn't have done that." Lionel said looking at Clark in a way he recognized.  
  
"Dad, don't do anything to them! I'm serious! They are my friends! Dad, they weren't even freaked out when I told them!" Clark said trying to persuade his father to his point of view.  
  
"Clark, you did this to them, not me." Lionel said coldly.  
  
"Dad. Don't!" Clark yelled, "If you do..." Clark was thinking out his threat, he wanted to say he would tell more people, but he was just as scared as his father of being exposed, "I'll never ever speak to you again! I'm just asking one thing!"  
  
"Clark?" Lionel had succeeded so far in keeping Clark under control, and a key point in that was having his son's trust, "I won't... but you have to tell me this stuff! How am I going to protect you, if I don't know!"  
  
Clark visibly sighed, "I'm sorry, I will tell you." And just before he left his room, "Thanks, Dad."  
  
Clark felt relieved that his father knew and wasn't going to 'do' anything to his friends and confused. His father wasn't telling him something. HE knew more than he said, and Clark had his own ways of finding things out.  
  
Lionel loved Clark more than anything. He liked that Clark wasn't weak like most people, but tonight he wished Clark could just get into normal trouble, with girls or alcohol, he didn't mind that. Clark had picked the worst friend ever, If he knew about how he had taken Clark from the Kents...  
  
Lionel picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. 


	5. Sick

"Jonathan, I just don't know what to do. What if he is a good person? We can't keep Lana from being friends with Clark just because... you know." Martha said, unsure.  
  
"Martha? You can't be serious, he was raised a LUTHER, he isn't that sweet innocent little boy you knew. You know what Luthers are like! They hurt everyone in their path, and I don't plan on Lana being on of those people." Jonathan said.  
  
"Well... We can't just forbid her to see him... what if we told her, Jonathan?" Martha asked.  
  
"No... Martha, no." Jonathan shook his head.  
  
"Well, she will find out some time. Oh my gawd, Jonathan, what if... what if HE tells her?" Martha looked scared, "You have to tell her before someone else does."  
  
"No, Martha, I doubt Clark even knows, if he did, why would he come here? You saw the look on his face, he didn't remember us at all. And I'm positive that Lionel wouldn't tell him, and if he did, you can be sure it was his version of what happened." Jonathan explained.  
  
"Jonathan..." Martha didn't want to face this subject, but they had put it off for so many years, "He deserves to know, if not about us, about... how he came here."  
  
"I thought we agreed we were never going to bring that up to anyone, especially Clark." Jonathan looked stressed. "I'm not getting mixed up in the path of the Luther's again. After we adopted Lana, we moved on with our lives, and the past is the past.  
  
"You're right, but I can't help but feel like... keeping the truth about Clark from Lana is going to come back to bite us." Martha said.  
  
"What?" Lana said angry, as she came down the stairs, catching the last part of their conversation.  
  
"Lana." Martha's eyes looked to Jonathan's with panic.  
  
"What do you know about Clark?" Lana demanded.  
  
"Lana, listen, it's none of your business." Jonathan didn't know what else to say.  
  
"No. It is my business, Clark is my best friend, and earlier you said I should never hang out with him. You know something." Lana could read her parents so easily.  
  
"Lana, your father just meant that... the Luthers, they aren't good people. You can't deny it anymore than I can." Martha said trying to cover it up.  
  
"I'll admit that Clark's father and brother aren't the greatest people, but Clark isn't like that. He's different." If only they knew how different, Lana thought.  
  
But they did know, and that scared them even more. Clark was powerful and different, and who knows what he is capable of.  
  
"Fine, you want to lie to me, go ahead!" Lana ran back upstairs.  
  
"Do you get the feeling something bad is happening, Clark?" Lana asked him as he walked her home.  
  
"Ya, but I can't figure it out." They sat down, just outside Lana's property, they both knew it wasn't a good idea for Clark to be over there.  
  
"My parents know something, and they won't tell me." Lana confessed, "Something about you."  
  
"How would they know something about me? Do you think they say me use one of my abilities?" Clark asked worried.  
  
"I donno, maybe, but I don't see why they wouldn't tell me that. They have seen other people who were infected by the meteor rocks." Lana said.  
  
"I wasn't infected by the meteor rocks." Clark finally got around to telling her.  
  
"How else would you explain your abilities?" Lana asked.  
  
"I don't know." Clark felt really weak, "By my father apparently knew from the beginning that I wasn't, he just didn't feel the need to tell me." Clark said breathing hard.  
  
"But how can he know?" Lana asked, observing Clark's physical reaction to this topic, it must really bother him.  
  
"He had test done, that compared me..." Clark bent over grabbing his stomach.  
  
"Clark, are you okay?" Lana asked concerned.  
  
"Um... ya... sometimes I get like this, but it goes away." Clark said.  
  
"What's wrong?" Lana had never seen Clark sick or hurt before, after all he was bullet proof. But Clark didn't seem to worried about it.  
  
"I just get weak and kind of dizzy..." Clark said feeling worse, and laying stretched out on the ground.  
  
"Clark, I should get you help." Lana said pulling out Clark's cell phone from his jeans. "Who should I call?" knowing she couldn't call a regular doctor.  
  
Clark was going to tell her not to call anyone, he would be fine, but he was getting worse, not better. Usually he just walked this thing off... "Call my dad, his number is on the phone."  
  
"Okay." Lana dialed the number.  
  
"Clark, I'm in a meeting." Lionel said, recognizing the number on the caller ID.  
  
"This isn't Clark. I'm Lana, his friend. Um, I.. sorry... Clark isn't doing so good." Lana didn't know what to say.  
  
"What?" Lionel asked annoyed.  
  
"He is sick. He can't stand and he looks like he is going to pass out. He told me to call you, because... well no one else knows... um..." Lana felt so stupid.  
  
"Where is he? I'll come get him." Lionel said immediately. Something was wrong, Clark doesn't get sick.  
  
"Do you know where the Kent farm is?" Lana asked, panicking, not thinking to give the address. "I'm going to try and bring him inside."  
  
"Okay, tell Clark to wait for me, and not to call anyone else, I'll be there as soon as I can." Lionel said hanging up. The first thought that came to mind was, What had the Kents done to him? He immediately left his meeting to go help his con.  
  
"Clark?" Lana said kneeling down next to him, "Clark, can you hear me?"  
  
"Ya..." Clark said breathing hard. "Is my dad coming?"  
  
"He'll be here. But Clark, we should get you inside, can you stand?" Lana asked.  
  
"I don't know." Clark said using all his strength to sit up.  
  
"I can try and help you." She said lifting him to his feet, he was so heavy.  
  
"Ah..." Clark said as he collapsed back to the ground.  
  
"Clark... you're bleeding." Lana said as she looked at the cut he received on his arm, from the fall.  
  
"What?" Clark sounded alarmed. "I've never..."  
  
"Clark?" Lana said worried. "Oh my god."  
  
Lana tried to think of what to do, what was happening to Clark? He was getting worse, it was happening so fast, she didn't understand it, and she couldn't carry him in, he was too heavy. Lana needed to get her parents; her house was so close...  
  
"Clark, it's okay... I'm going to go get my parents... you're going to be okay." Lana told him.  
  
"No..." Clark could barely get out before he went unconscious.  
  
"Lana, what's wrong?" Martha asked as an out of breath Lana came running into the house. Jonathan looked up at her worriedly.  
  
"I don't know, I was just talking to Clark and he like passed out, you guys have to help him, he is bleeding." It was only a scrape, but blood on Clark was so scary.  
  
"Clark's here?" Jonathan reacted.  
  
"Dad, just help him." Lana said as she ran out the door, assuming her parents were following her, to where Clark's body was sprawled out on the grass.  
  
Jonathan slowly knelt down next to the boy, and felt his pulse. "His pulse is so slow..."  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Lana asked looking to her father, who always had the answers.  
  
"I don't know, Lana." Jonathan said as a black car pulled up and Lionel stepped out of it.  
  
"Get away form him." Lionel instructed, as he knelt by his son, "Clark... Clark..." He shook Clark, but found no response. "What did you do to him?" but he didn't wait for a response, but instructed 2 men that were with him, to bring Clark into the car.  
  
"Let me come with him." Lana begged as she saw Clark being loaded into the back seat of the car, still unconscious.  
  
"No. Keep his phone, you can tell me what happened later." Lionel directed.  
  
Lana hadn't realized she was squeezing his phone in her left hand for dear life.  
  
"What the..." Lionel said looking over his son's body, "Why is there gravel imbedded in his back?"  
  
"I was trying to help him inside, and he fell." Lana said feeling guilty.  
  
Lionel briefly looked at the green fragments mixed in with the little rocks, and he brushed off Clark's back, and got in the car.  
  
"Stay away from, Clark." Lionel said coldly looking at Jonathan with pure hatred in his eyes, "What did you do to him?"  
  
Jonathan replied with equal hatred, "I didn't tell him anything, if that is what you're asking."  
  
Lionel drove off.  
  
Okay, please R&R You can now anonymously review, sorry I didn't catch it earlier. 


	6. Hanging Out

"Dad, I'm fine, really." Clark said getting out of bed.  
  
"Clark, you are staying here until I find out what caused you to collapse." Lionel said referring to the room where all of Clark's medical tests were done in.  
  
"I feel fine, I've been fine since I got out of the car!" Clark said frustrated.  
  
"Clark." Lionel gave him a do-what-I-say look.  
  
"But I'm so bored!" Clark said as an excuse.  
  
"You know you can have anything you want brought here." Lionel said about to leave the room.  
  
"Where is my cell phone?" Clark asked, after he attempted to order some things, but found it missing.  
  
"That girl has it." Lionel said just remembering Lana, Jonathan, and what he should do about them. They weren't going to tell anyone, they both already knew, but still...  
  
"Oh..."Clark said kind of excited, but then changed tones, "Did anyone else see me while I was sick?"  
  
"Jonathan Kent." Lionel said with pure hatred.  
  
"Whoa, you're not doing anything, right?" Clark didn't like his father's tone.  
  
"No, he didn't see anything unusual, just a sick teenager." Lionel said leaving.  
  
As soon as someone had brought Clark a phone, he dialed his own cell phone.  
  
"Hello?" Lana picked up.  
  
"Hey Lana, it's Clark." He said.  
  
"Clark! Are you okay?" Lana was worried.  
  
"Ya, I'm fine. Thanks for calling my dad and getting me help." Clark thanked her.  
  
"Are you sure you are okay? I've never seen you sick before... I didn't' know it was possible. What happened to you?" Lana asked.  
  
"Well, sometimes I get a little dizzy, but never like that, and my dad was running all these tests on me to figure out what happened. Until then, I'm stuck here in this room, bored to death." Clark said letting out a sigh.  
  
"But you're okay? Right?" Lana just needed it confirmed one more time.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine Lana, I swear." Clark laughed, "So I was told that your dad saw me sick."  
  
"I'm sorry Clark, I just didn't know what else to do or who to get and-"  
  
"No, it's okay." Clark didn't mean to put blame on her.  
  
"Did your dad say anything else?" Lana wondered.  
  
"About?" Clark asked.  
  
"Well, when your dad came and got you, um... it seemed like...well like our dad know each other, and really, really hate each other." Lana confessed.  
  
"Oh...So I guess it wasn't a good first impression of my dad, but Lana he is really a nice guy, he was just worried about me." Clark wanted Lana to like his dad, not be like everyone else.  
  
"Clark, my dad said something about he didn't tell you anything, and that your dad didn't' have to worry, and it was the way they said it... I asked my dad, but he wouldn't tell me anything. They both know something, Clark." Lana explained.  
  
"Lana, I don't know what happened but my dad tells me everything, well everything that has to do with me." Clark corrected himself.  
  
"He didn't tell you about how you weren't meteor infected." Lana pointed out.  
  
"That was different." Clark said getting mad.  
  
"How?" Lana asked.  
  
"You know... you don't know my dad!" Clark knew he shouldn't take his anger out at Lana, but he couldn't help it.  
  
"I'm sorry Clark... I... I didn't mean to... you've just been threw a lot... I should go." Lana hung up.  
  
"No, Lana..." Clark sighed, hearing the dial tone.  
  
"Clark! Heard what happened!" Chloe ran up and gave Clark a hug, when he entered the torch. "You're okay!"  
  
"Ya, I'm okay." Clark couldn't help but smile, people actually cared about him.  
  
"What happened to you?" Chloe always needed to get to the bottom of her stories.  
  
"I had some kind of allergic reaction to the meteor rocks." Clark relayed his father's findings in a more understandable way.  
  
"Allergies?" Chloe laughed, "I would have never thought the meteor rocks..."  
  
"Well in hindsight, it makes sense." Clark said as Lana walked into the room, and Chloe walked out.  
  
"Lana, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you yesterday." Clark said feeling so guilty.  
  
"It's fine, you don't need to apologize, Clark." Lana said looking down.  
  
Clark filled the gap between them and took Lana's hand in his, "I owe you big for yesterday, if it wasn't for you, I don't know what would have happened."  
  
Lana smiled and gave Clark's hand a little squeeze, "I'm just glad you are okay."  
  
Clark couldn't resist hugging her.  
  
Clark couldn't contain his grin as he scored the winning touch down. Smallville crows were undefeated because of Clark. He looked over as Lana and the other cheer-leaders where shouting out a victory cheer.  
  
Clark's team came over, "Right on, Clark!"  
  
"You save our sorry asses every time!"  
  
"Ya!"  
  
Clark liked the attention, and being the hero publicly. He loved being able to use his abilities to help him.  
  
"Once again, Clark saves the day. Are you man or super man?" Lana smiled, and as so many times before they shared an inside joke.  
  
Once they were away from the crowd, Clark said, "Hey, Lana, I have to go to this thing tomorrow tonight, basically it's a fancy dinner for charity, but really it's just a PR thing for my dad, and everyone who's anyone is going to be there. He's forcing me to go. I was hoping you'd come along and help me survive the night." Clark joked.  
  
"um..." Lana didn't know, she was afraid she would embarrass him in front of someone important.  
  
"Please! Come on, I'll even take you shopping for a dress." Clark laughed.  
  
Lana laughed, "You must really want me to go if you actually go shopping!"  
  
"Yes, as much as I hate going shopping, I'd do it." Clark laughed.  
  
"Ya, I'll go Clark." Lana was still laughing.  
  
"It's a date." Clark winked at her, as Jonathan approached them, both Clark and Lana stopped laughing.  
  
"Let's go, Lana." Jonathan said coldly, as he stared at Clark.  
  
"okay..." Lana could sense strong dislike between Clark and Jonathan and didn't want anything to start.  
  
"I'll pick you up around 2 tomorrow." Clark said referring to the shopping trip.  
  
"Okay, sounds good." Lana felt like Clark said it just to make her dad mad.  
  
"Lana can't go." Jonathan said as he gently took her arm, urging her to leave.  
  
"Why?" Clark said stepping in front of them, "Because you don't like me?"  
  
"That's just like a Luther, thinking everything is about them." Jonathan shot back.  
  
"But this is. You know it, too! So why do you hate my family? Do you just like being part of the crowd? Doing the popular thing? Or do you actually have a reason? Do you even know yourself?" Clark's eyes smoldered with anger, but he kept himself in control.  
  
Jonathan wanted so badly to tell Clark and hurt him. "Get the hell out of my way."  
  
"That's what I thought. The only reason you don't want Lana to be friends with me is because of my last name." Clark challenged.  
  
"You think you have all the answers." Jonathan smiled, "But I know more about who you really are, and what kind of person you are, and I don't want my daughter around people like you."  
  
Clark didn't like how there was most definitely a hidden meaning behind that, "Okay then, who am I really?" Clark challenged.  
  
Jonathan stared Clark straight in the eyes, "Ask you're father."  
  
Even though his answer didn't make sense, Clark felt like Jonathan really did know something about him.  
  
Clark was so pissed off, he was about to tell yell at Jonathan.  
  
"Clark." Lana looked at him with pleading eyes. Lana meant too much to him, so he would walk away.  
  
"Get out of my way." Jonathan said again.  
  
Clark brushed past Jonathan.  
  
Jonathan and Lana hadn't spoken about last night's incident with Clark, so when Jonathan was out at the feed store, Clark pulled into Lana's driveway at 2pm.  
  
"Clark." Lana's eyes went wide as he knocked on the door. Martha tensed up, even though she had no idea about the fight last night.  
  
"Lana, hi." Clark said boldly.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Lana was nervous.  
  
"I told you yesterday, I was going to take you shopping to find a dress." Clark smirked, he wasn't backing down from Jonathan, he was a Luther.  
  
"Right..." Lana looked to Martha for permission, "Mom, I'll be back around late."  
  
Martha couldn't take her eyes off Clark, and just nodded. Lana didn't wait around and left with Clark.  
  
Once they were on the road, it was clear that Clark didn't want to talk about last night, "So were are we going?"  
  
Clark grinned, "Metropolis."  
  
It was 20 after 6, and Lana was amazed by all the dresses, they were so expensive, but Clark insisted she get whatever one she wanted.  
  
"Lana, as much as I love you, I hate shopping more." Clark joked. "So... I'm going to go get a latté." Clark handed her a credit card, "Get whatever you want."  
  
When Lana found Clark at a coffee stand he was talking on his cell phone, so she just sat down across from him, at the table, listening to the one side of the conversation.  
  
"Ya, I'm bringing Lana... no! I can't believe they're coming... why?... because! After last year's incident with you and them, I don't want to even face them! ... a little drunk, Lex? ... of course you don't care, you don't even remember!" Clark laughed, and noticing Lana, "Lex, I have to go. But seriously, do NOT bring Sarah...Lex, you only want to bring her to piss dad off...no... no... Lex, please....ah! don't! ... you are being such a... good! Thanks. Are we going together? ... Okay... bye." Clark hung up. "Sorry, that was my brother. We are gonna ride there with him."  
  
Lana wasn't thrilled at that thought, she didn't like what she heard of Lex and the few brief encounters they had. He always seemed to bring out the worst in Clark. "okay."  
  
"So are you finally done?" Clark laughed.  
  
"Yes, sorry I took so long, but you can't bring me here with so many beautiful dresses and expect me NOT to take forever." Lana said.  
  
"True. Anyways, we have like 3 hours 'til we have to be there, want to just go back and hang out at the mansion?" Clark suggested.  
  
"Sure." Lana agreed.  
  
"Oh, I love this movie!" Lana stopped flipping channels. "It's so romantic."  
  
"A chick flick, change!" Clark said lying at the other end of the couch.  
  
"No, Clark it's like seriously the best movie ever." Lana said, "You have to watch it!"  
  
Clark watched for 2 minutes, "Change!" Clark laughed.  
  
"You didn't' even give it a chance!" Lana said grabbing the controller just before Clark could.  
  
"I hope you have the controller to change it!" Clark said sitting up.  
  
"No, Clark!" Lana laughed as Clark failed to grab the controller from her, as she jumped up, out of reach.  
  
Clark jumped after her and grabbed an arm, as she held the controller above her head, desperately trying to keep it from him.  
  
Clark grabbed her and plucked the controller from her hands, "Haha!"  
  
"no!" Lana laughed and jumped on his back, "Give it back!"  
  
"never!" Clark joked as Lana tried in vain to get back control of the remote.  
  
Lana wrapped her legs around his waist as she had one hand around his neck and the other reaching over his shoulders to get the remote from his hands.  
  
"Why don't you just give up." Clark teased, "I'm Clark Luther, man of steel!"  
  
Lionel walked in the room and it took them at least 10 seconds to realize he was there.  
  
"Dad." Clark said still laughing.  
  
Lana was so embarrassed and jumped off Clark's back. "Mr. Luther."  
  
"Clark, I came to make sure you were getting ready." Lionel couldn't help but smirk.  
  
"Ya, I'm going to." Clark said feeling a little embarrassed now. "I'm taking a limo with Lex, but I've got an hour."  
  
"Get there early." Lionel was aware of Clark's constant tardiness.  
  
"I will. This is Lana Lang." Clark introduced her.  
  
"Yes, Miss Lang, and I have met. I never did thank you for helping my son." Lionel said shaking her hand.  
  
"I'm just glad he is okay." Lana said feeling intimidated.  
  
"I'm taking Lana tonight. She is going to help me survive the torture that is the annual Demerata Charity event." Clark said rolling his eyes.  
  
"Clark, I'm leaving, but you had better be there on time." Lionel said giving Clark a stern look.  
  
"I will! I'm not ALWAYS late!" Clark said.  
  
Lana had to laugh, because Clark was pretty much always late. When Lionel left the room, Clark turned to Lana, "What? I'm not always late!"  
  
Lana laughed, "Sure Clark...whatever you say. I didn't know it was so late, I better get ready."  
  
"oh right, um... you don't want to get ready in my bathroom." Clark said thinking of all the clothes on the floor and all his stuff on the counter and by the sink. "It's a hazard zone. There is a bathroom down the hall, 4th door on the right."  
  
"Thanks!" Lana said leaving Clark as he changed the TV channel to a football game.  
  



	7. Party

Lana felt really nervous as she was getting ready, she couldn't help but  
feel way out of her league for this. She wasn't some billionaire's son,  
like Clark. She regretting telling Clark she would go. She was so glad  
she had at least a portion of her make-up in her purse, she wasn't  
risking going back to the farm, not 'til tonight was over. She really  
hoped it was worth her punishment. Her Dad would undoubtedly be furious.  
She loved her dad so much, and they had a good relationship, but ever  
since he met Clark at dinner, he was rude, mean, and completely non-  
understanding. Lana put the last touches on her hair, and made her way  
back out to Clark who was still sitting on the couch watching T.V.  
  
"Clark! 15 minutes ago you said we had to leave in 20 minutes! I'm no  
genius, but you have 5 minutes, and you haven't even moved!" Lana was  
worried, she didn't want to be caught in a father and son fight,  
especially not one of their fights.  
  
"I've got plenty of time." Clark said turning around seeing her, "Wow."  
  
Lana smiled at his expression and twirled around, "You like?"  
  
"You look so beautiful. The shopping was so worth it to see you like  
this." Clark smiled.  
  
Lana felt herself blushing, if Clark thought she was beautiful, she would  
fit in for tonight. He had undoubtedly seen hundreds of beautiful women.  
  
"Clark, get ready!" Lana said trying to stop blushing.  
  
"Lana, it'll take me like 15 seconds!" Clark stated the obvious.  
  
"Clark!" Lana didn't want to take any chances.  
  
"Fine! I'm going." He said as he reluctantly turned off the T.V. and  
disappeared with a blur.  
  
Lana let out an anxious sigh, and just as she sat down, Lex came into the  
room. Lana didn't' know what to say and tensed up.  
  
"Ah, so you're Clark's date tonight, Lana. I was wondering who he was  
bringing." Lex said eyeing the room for Clark.  
  
"Ya." Lana hoped Clark got here quick.  
  
"Where is he?" Lex laughed, "Running late?  
  
"No!" Clark said coming up behind Lex, "I'm ready! Told you, Lana."  
  
"Okay, let's go." Lex said as they walked out to the limo and got in.  
  
"Clark, this is Michele." Lex said introducing the tall, beautiful woman  
already in the limo. Lana felt so small compared to her, but felt better  
by the end of the ride over, seeing how shallow Michele was, clearly with  
Lex for money.  
  
"Clark, you didn't tell me there were going to be reporters here." Lana  
was so nervous.  
  
"Sorry, I just assumed... anyways they won't be inside." Clark said  
carefree.  
  
Lana didn't know how Clark dealt with the press all the time, she  
couldn't handle it.  
  
"I feel like we are on the red carpet or something." Lana confessed,  
"It's kind of scary."  
  
"Clark Luther, you've grown! Who is this pretty young thing with you?" A  
man about 50 asked Clark. Clark looked back at him with recognition and  
smiled,  
  
"This is Lana Lang." He said putting his arm around her.  
  
"Oh, I've never heard of her before." He said curious.  
  
"Doesn't surprise me. Well, most people don't know who you are either."  
Clark looked like he was trying not to laugh, as they walked away. Lex  
came up behind them laughing, "Clark! That was great! You should have  
seen the look on his face!"  
  
Clark couldn't suppress his laughter anymore, "Well he just talks to me  
to find out information about Dad."  
  
Lana didn't really get it, but the brothers obviously shared a laugh due  
to prior events.  
  
"I have to say Clark, I'm surprised Dad didn't want us to all show up  
together, you know the perfect family image." Lex said as the continued  
there walk inside.  
  
"He couldn't, he said he had to do something first, I forgot what it  
was." Clark said. Once inside he turned his attention back to Lana, who  
looked scared.  
  
"We sit over there." Clark pointed to the front table.  
  
"The very front." Lana almost whispered.  
  
"Yep, don't worry." Clark said as they reached their table and sat down.  
"Lana, relax. It's just another boring event. We eat, they thanks so and  
so for their generous donations, and people talk for a while, basically  
to see who is succeeding or who failed, who got married or has another  
heir to their fortune. Then, if I'm lucky you'll dance with me."  
  
Lana once again found herself blushing at Clark's compliment, Clark  
always had a certain charm to him, but tonight he was extra charming,  
maybe it was the tux. Lana couldn't help but notice how many beautiful  
women where at this event, and relieved to see her dress matched their  
class, Clark had brought her to the right stores.  
  
"Clark, stop! If you make me laugh any harder, I'm going to choke!" Lana  
said finishing her dinner.  
  
"The perfect murder." Clark joked.  
  
Lana pretended to be hurt and slapped his arm playfully and the started  
laughing again. "Clark, have you noticed that all night people have been  
starring at us."  
  
"Well, there are multiple reasons for that. A, we are the loudest people  
here. B, We are the best looking couple here. And C, they want to get a  
good look at Lionel Luther's son." Clark joked, but he really did think  
Lana was the prettiest girl here, because she wasn't fake the rest of  
them. "This isn't so bad Clark! It's fun! You made it sound like hell!" Lana laughed.  
  
"I gotta admit, this year wasn't half bad. Thanks, Lana." Clark said and before Lana could say anything back, music started up, "Would you like to dance?" Clark said already standing and taking her hand, leading her to the dance floor.  
  
Clark took Lana's hand in his, and placed the other at her hip, at they danced to the music.  
  
Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel  
  
Who loves you and knows you the way I do  
  
Who touches you and holds you quite like I do  
  
Who makes you feel like I make you feel  
  
"Clark, this is so fun. I really needed this." Lana rested her head against Clark's chest, wrapped in Clark's arms.  
  
being weak, when I am strong  
  
being seen, for who you are  
  
being sad and lost but not alone  
  
but listen and think when I say,  
  
oh but listen and think when I say  
  
Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel  
  
Who loves you and knows you the way I do  
  
Who touches you and holds you quite like I do  
  
Who makes you feel like I make you feel  
  
Clark just kissed Lana on the forehead and enjoyed the moment.  
  
"I'll go with you, seeing as you were doing me the favor by coming tonight." Clark insisted.  
  
"No, Clark. The whole problem was because I was out with YOU." Lana laughed, "I'll be fine, I'm sure my dad won't be too mad." Lana hoped, kidding herself.  
  
"No, I wouldn't feel right. I'll come in, I'm not scared of your dad." Clark said.  
  
"I know you're not. But you two are just going to fight and make things worse. If it's okay with you, I'd like to be able to see my next birthday." Lana laughed.  
  
"You're sure?" Clark asked as Jonathan came out and saw them in the driveway.  
  
"No...Clark, you should go." Lana said squeezing his arm in a goodbye.  
  
"Bye." Clark said keeping his eye on the approaching Jonathan.  
  
"Lana, get inside." Jonathan said coldly and then to Clark, "And you, get the hell off my property."  
  
Clark just rolled his eyes and left, resisting the urge to fight with him.  
  
Once inside the house, Jonathan went in on Lana, "What were you doing with him? Lana, I told you, you couldn't go with him! And you still just go off with him!" Jonathan yelled, noticing her fancy dress.  
  
"I asked mom, and she said it was okay...we were at a charity event." Lana hoped to make things better.  
  
"Don't even try and use that excuse! I told you no! This is exactly what I'm talking about! That Luther is getting you into all kinds of trouble!" Jonathan shouted.  
  
"I didn't get into any trouble, and there wasn't any real reason why I couldn't go! Except that you hate my best friend." Lana felt a hot tear roll down her cheek.  
  
"Luthers don't' have friends! They use people, Lana! Then they get rid of them! You're grounded until further notice! I don't want you around Clark!" Jonathan shouted so loud, Lana couldn't help but burst into tears. She ran up to her room and locked the door.  
  
Clark had only been back 30 minutes and had fallen asleep watching T.V. when he was awoken by shouting, and super speeded to the room it came from. He recognized his father's voice, and when he opened the door he saw Jonathan Kent.  
  
"You keep your son away form my daughter! I swear to god, Lionel, I'll tell him!" Jonathan yelled at Lionel.  
  
Lionel's eyes froze as they saw Clark.  
  
"Tell me what!" Clark knew Jonathan was referring to him.  
  
"Tell him Lionel! Tell him so he can see the sick twisted son of a bitch you really are!" Jonathan dared.  
  
"Tell me." Clark demanded.  
  
"There is nothing to tell, Clark. He is unstable Clark, don't listen to him." Lionel said believably.  
  
"I'm not crazy!" Jonathan said leaving, "Stay away from my daughter! Clark, ask your dad about your adoption!" Jonathan said just before he left.  
  
"Dad?" Clark was confused.  
  
TBC...  
  
Thanks for all the feedback, please continue to R & R! Oh, and the song lyrics were by Dido okay, I'll update again tomrrow too, lol, i had an urge to write tonight, lol.  
  
"Dad?" Clark repeated himself.  
  
"Clark, he is just trying to hurt you... Clark? Are you okay?" Lionel asked worriedly as Clark grabbed his temples.  
  
"What the..." Clark freaked out. He couldn't see his father's skin, all he could see was his muscles, it looked like something from a bad sci-fi movie. Clark was even more disturbed when he found he could only see Lionel's skeleton. Clark turned away from Lionel and rubbed his eyes, facing the wall.  
  
"Ah, what the fk is happening to me?" Clark shouted as he found he could suddenly see threw the wall. It was like invisible acid wearing down the wall, and he could see past it to the hallway. He touched his hand to the massive 'hole' in the wall, and found it was solid, like looking threw glass, and he punched it. When he looked back, there was only a whole the size of a fist, where Clark had hit the wall.  
  
"Clark, what are you doing?" Lionel asked stepping close to his son.  
  
"Dad, you're... normal. I..." Clark looked back at the wall and at his father, and everything was normal again, "I... it was... you were...I could see threw the wall, and your skin and then your muscles... I ..." Clark was breathing fast.  
  
"Clark, calm down." Lionel was even more confused to find out Clark's episode had nothing to do with Jonathan's words.  
  
"Dad, there is something wrong with me!" Clark said as he began to see his father's skeleton, then his vision flickered back to normal as she squeezed his eyes shut. His head throbbed like he had never felt before; he applied pressure to his temples, as if that would take away from the pressure he felt in his head, "Ah...Dad..."  
  
"Don't worry, Clark, I'll get someone here quick." Lionel dialed a number and as he heard the rings, continued to speak to Clark, "Clark, what's wrong?"  
  
"My head hurts...ah..." the pain stopped and his vision returned to normal, as Clark let out a long sigh, "I'm okay, now..."  
  
"Yes, right now. He has vision problems and a head ache." Lionel said into the phone, and then to Clark, "Clark, we'll run the tests and figure out what that was."  
  
"Okay..." Clark said thankfully, he didn't know if it would happen again, or when.  
  
"So you don't know?" Lionel said frustrated.  
  
"There isn't any exact reason for his headache or vision problem. The tests just show that there are some unusual muscles rapidly developing, which COULD cause the pain, almost like when you get a cramp. I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything precise, but the muscles behind the eyes should reach their maximum strength and the pain should go away, but... it's hard to say, I've never seen anything like this, so I don't know what to base it on, then again Clark is completely different, so..." Dr. Phillips explained to Lionel.  
  
"Is this going to happen again?" Lionel asked.  
  
"Possibly, but at the rate the muscles are strengthening, these...spasms should stop within a few weeks, if not sooner." Dr. Phillips calculated.  
  
3 days later  
  
"Ah..." Clark groaned as his vision flipped back to seeing threw things again, as it had so often the past few days.  
  
"Is it happening again?" Lex asked.  
  
"Ya, but it doesn't hurt very much, it's getting easier. I think it was because I was starring at the T.V. too hard." Clark said opening his eyes in normal vision. "It stopped."  
  
"So it just comes at random?" Lex asked.  
  
"Ya! Once it happens, sometimes I can stop it. Dad says I can control it; I just have to figure out how. But I can't!" Clark said annoyed and frustrated, "He says I'm just giving in to being weak, it's just part of my development."  
  
"As much as I hate to agree with him, I think maybe you can find the on off switch." Lex said.  
  
"I just want it to stop! No more seeing threw walls, or seeing your insides!" Clark huffed.  
  
"Well, when I've been around, when this happens, your always starring at something really hard." Lex observed, "Maybe if you focus really hard on something, you could trigger it."  
  
"No, I don't want it to happen again." Clark said pissed off, but not at Lex.  
  
"Well if you want it to stop, you have to figure out how to control it, and to control it you have to know what sets it off AND ON." Lex said, mirroring Clark's frustration.  
  
"Fine." Clark wanted to stop this.  
  
"Okay, focus really hard on that chest, the one in the corner, and see if you can see what's inside." Lex directed.  
  
"Nothing. I can't see into it." Clark flung himself back against the couch in defeat.  
  
"No, Clark really try." Lex said annoyed with Clark's lack of cooperation.  
  
"I did! Fine, I'll try one more time!" Clark stared his hardest at the chest, and thought of looking past the wood, into the box, and focused again. "Lex! I see past the whole chest, and the wall! I did it." Clark was hopeful.  
  
"Try and see INSIDE the chest." Lex ordered.  
  
"Um...I'm trying... okay... uh... I can see... books." Clark smiled.  
  
"So you can do it!" Lex slapped Clark on the back.  
  
After much practice, Clark got control of what Lex now referred to as his 'X-ray vision'. Lionel stayed away from the mansion until Clark called him and told him how he managed to control his abilities. Lionel didn't want to deal with the irritable Clark, but more so he didn't want Clark bringing up any questions about his adoption, as Jonathan suggested. He knew it was awful, but he was glad for Clark's problem, it provided as a great distraction. But Clark would think to ask soon, and Lionel was ready for him. Clark was smart, but he trusted Lionel, and he was going to use that to his advantage.  
  
Clark walked into the torch before school on Thursday, finding Chloe rapidly typing at her computer, "Clark!" She looked up, "So you're back! Where have you been all week? Let me guess, you were sick, right?" Chloe said sarcastically as she raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Actually, I was... kind of." Clark said with satisfaction.  
  
"Really?" Chloe looked more sympathetic. "What was wrong with you?"  
  
"Ah, it's a long story. But basically I cleared a whole square foot on the wall of weird." Clark laughed, even though he didn't find it funny.  
  
"What?" Chloe was confused.  
  
"Apparently as weird as I am, it gets worse." Clark said in a depressing tone, and went on to tell Chloe all about his X-ray vision. "So you can actually see THREW things? That is so..." Chloe was going to say cool, but then it hit her as very freaky.  
  
"Ya, I know. Any ways, where is Lana? I want to see how much trouble I got her in." Clark explained.  
  
"Ah, yes, Lana told me all about it. She said her dad grounded her until further notice, and grounded her from you forever." Chloe joked. "But seriously, she said she had never seen him so mad."  
  
"Ya, after I left, he came back to the mansion and was screaming at my dad, threatening to 'tell me' if I didn't stay away from Lana, whatever that means." Clark was just remembering. "He insinuated that my dad did something... something to do with my adoption."  
  
"No offense, Clark, but ever since you told me you weren't meteor infected, I wondered about your adoption... like who were your real parents, but I didn't want to say anything... I mean... you're so... you can do so many things." Chloe really had her doubts about his adoption, but was afraid to offend Clark, but since he mentioned it.  
  
"I was in Metropolis charity adoption agency, I was one of two kids. It's real, just small, Chloe." Clark found himself defensive.  
  
"Um..." Chloe wasn't sure how to word this without totally offending Clark, but she figured there was no way to avoid it, "Why you? I mean, your dad is Lionel Luther! He could adopt anyone! Why would he go to such a small adoption agency? Clark, it's suspicious." Chloe said cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"Because he owned it! God, Chloe, what do you think he did?" Clark really wanted to know, because as much as he hated what she was saying, it made sense.  
  
"I don't know! Clark, don't go all psycho on me! I didn't mean to-" Chloe said backing down  
  
"Whatever! I don't care." Clark lied, finding himself in a very bad mood as Lana walked in.  
  
"Clark! Oh, I thought you had transferred school or something... well not really, but after how pissed my dad was, and I think he went to the mansion, and then you didn't come to school all week!" Lana said it all in one breath.  
  
"Ya, he came over." Clark's voice had an edge of anger to it.  
  
Lana just looked at him with a mixture of shock and defensive anger, "What's with you?"  
  
"He is just in a bad mood! You don't have to get all pissy at Lana too, Clark." Chloe said.  
  
Clark let out a sigh, "Ya, I'm sorry, Lana."  
  
Clark caught Lana up on his new ability and after Clark left, Chloe updated her on the fight between Jonathan and Lionel, which Clark walked into, and her theory, "... so obliviously there is a connection between your dads and Clark's adoption. Clark got really defensive when I brought it up; so we can't push him into getting information, because he doesn't really want to know, he likes living in denial." Chloe said rolling her eyes, "So... there is one more way."  
  
"How?" Lana asked.  
  
"You can find out." Chloe smiled.  
  
"What! No way, you want ME to ask Lionel Luther?" Lana couldn't believe Chloe thought she would, or that it would work.  
  
"No! Of course not! But you dad obviously knows some if not all of what really happened. Get him to tell you!" Chloe explained.  
  
"He won't, Chloe. Trust me, he won't just tell me if I ask. He'll deny it." Lana said discouraged.  
  
"Well then, pretend that you already know! Pretend your mad and storm in the room and be like, 'I can't believe you didn't tell me! You knew about Clark all along! I had a right to know about the adoption!' and he is bound to admit to knowing something, or even better to slip up information." Chloe smirked.  
  
"But what if he really doesn't know?" Lana had second thoughts.  
  
"Come on, Lana. He knows, we both know he doesn't hate someone that much without a reason. Besides, what the worst that could happen? You are already grounded!" Chloe pointed out.  
  
"Okay, I'll try. But..." Lana bit her lip.  
  
"But what?" Chloe asked.  
  
"How do you think Clark will react? Us going behind his back, getting information about his past?" Lana ask warily.  
  
"Listen, this involves you! It's your business, you have the right to know the truth." Chloe gave Lana confidence. 


	8. Truth

"Dad, I can't believe you didn't tell me! You knew about Clark all along! I had a right to know about the adoption!" Lana was a bad lair, so she copied Chloe's advice almost word for word. But her emotions were real, even if she was lying, and she felt herself already on the brink of tears. "I thought that we were close..."  
  
Martha's knocked a bowl off the kitchen table and it cracked into a bunch of pieces, "What?"  
  
"Lana..." Jonathan was so surprised, and regretted giving Clark major hints a few days ago. "you know?"  
  
"Yes I know!" Lana's slammed herself into a chair and covered her face with her hands. She felt ashamed already- lying; but they were the ones keeping things from her.  
  
"I... Lana, we didn't tell anyone...who would have believed us?" Jonathan tried to explain, his relationship with Lana had been so stressed the past month, this would break it, he thought. She needed his side of the story, whoever she got her information from, wouldn't have given her the real story.  
  
"So Clark knows?" Martha said as tears slid down her cheek, she assumed Clark had informed her, "Is he okay?" No matter what Jonathan thought of Clark, she always thought of him as that sweet 3 year old and the fact that he was a Luther just made her sympathize more, he was different and he had to grow up with a cold hearted father, and no mother at all.  
  
Lana was stuck, she didn't know what to do next, Chloe would know...  
  
"Who told you?" Jonathan asked in a apologetic tone.  
  
"You did, by all your lies." Lana honestly said. "So do you want to give me your side of the story?"  
  
Jonathan looked at Martha and she said, "I'll tell her."  
  
"No, I can, you don't have to-"  
  
"I want to." Martha interrupted Jonathan. She sat down next to Lana, and held her hand as they were both crying, Martha from the painful memories and Lana from the tension with her family for the past month.  
  
"Lana, before I start... you have to understand... Clark's different..." Martha didn't want to break the news that her daughter's best friend was an alien, "He is... he can do things, similar to the abilities to meteor-"  
  
"You know!" Lana panicked, this was backfiring. Somehow they knew about Clark, and they had to of known from her, she just failed Clark's trust.  
  
"You know?" Martha was just as surprised. "You know about Clark's abilities? His strength, his speed?"  
  
Lana felt like she was stabbing Clark in the back, they even knew the details! Lana started crying even harder, "He trusted me... and... I promised I wouldn't tell anyone, or let them find out from me..."  
  
"Lana, I didn't find out from you..." Martha said, just realizing how deep their friendship must be.  
  
"Then how? How!" Lana was so upset.  
  
"We've always known, Lana." Martha said referring to her husband.  
  
"What?" Lana said wiping the tears off her cheek.  
  
"We were the ones who found him." Martha said as if Lana knew the rest of the story, she bluffed to know earlier.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Lana needed answers so bad.  
  
"The day of the meteor shower, we found Clark." Martha explained, but still not understanding Lana's utter confusion.  
  
"What do you mean?" Lana sniffed and wiped her cheek again.  
  
"Our truck flipped over and..." It was hard to remember, "well actually, he found us..." Martha couldn't go on, and had to pause for a moment, "He was just a little boy, 3 maybe, he was walking... on the burning ground... we knew he was different..."  
  
"Martha, it's okay." Jonathan said rubbing her back.  
  
"What are you talking about!" Lana said frustrated.  
  
"What exactly do you know, Lana?" Jonathan now worried the version she heard was completely different.  
  
"Nothing! I lied, I just needed to know! What are you talking about? You found Clark? What?" Lana wish she knew, she needed to know so bad.  
  
"He was ours first!" Martha cried out, angry with Lionel still, even after so many years.  
  
Lana looked to her Dad, who seemed more in calm and capable of explaining.  
  
"Lana, we took Clark in... Lionel Luther forged the adoption papers, in exchange that I would talk the Rosses into selling their land to him..." Jonathan was so ashamed, but she had to know, "and when the Rosses wouldn't sell, he blamed me, he took Clark away."  
  
"What? You...adopted...Clark?" This was the last thing she expected.  
  
"We only had him 6 months, and he just took him! I didn't even get to kiss him good-bye." Martha cried.  
  
"I even tried to explain to him that Clark was different, that he couldn't just put him in an adoption agency, to prevent him from taking Clark. But Lionel kept, and raised him as a Luther." Lana noticed that even as Jonathan referred to Clark as a little boy, his voice still had a tinge of hatred in it, "There was no use in telling anyone, because we had illegally adopted Clark."  
  
Lana sat there in silence for a few minutes taking it in, she felt so horrible as she looked at her mother and could almost feel her heart breaking, and at her father who was smoldering with anger. She just couldn't muster up any of the anger she thought she should feel towards her parents, for them keeping this from her. Now she wasn't so sure she wanted to know, because now she had t tell Clark.  
  
"That's why you hate Lionel so much." Lana said almost to herself.  
  
"He's evil, Lana." Jonathan said.  
  
Lana had to agree with her father, anyone who cause this much pain...  
  
"Lana, I'm sorry... we wanted to tell you, but we promised each other would never tell anyone until we told the person who mattered most- Clark. As he grew older, we realized that we would never get the chance, Lionel was too powerful, and we were never ever going to risk ruining your life by crossing paths with Lionel." Martha explained to her daughter.  
  
"You have to tell Clark! He needs to know! He is so confused!" Lana needed to voice his pain.  
  
"No, Lana, you can't tell Clark. He has to find out from Lionel, he will ruin our family when he finds out we told Clark." Jonathan warned, taking on a harder tone.  
  
Lana felt so torn, like two people pulling on each arm, trying to get her to come on their side. She couldn't decide, she knew Lionel had the power to ruin her parent's and her life. But Clark needed to know, he was her best friend. She couldn't decided now and used her question as a distraction, even though she was pretty sure she didn't want to know, "What is he?"  
  
Jonathan and Martha knew exactly what she meant, "He...I...we found a ship." Jonathan said bluntly.  
  
"Ship?" Lana hoped she heard wrong, even though it didn't surprise her.  
  
"I couldn't believe it either, he looks so normal!" Martha said.  
  
Lana grabbed her purse and coat and headed towards the door.  
  
"Lana, where are you going." Jonathan asked.  
  
"I need to get out of here for a while." Lana ran out the door.  
  
"Lana?" Chloe said to herself she was driving, and thought she saw her friend in a cemetery. She pulled over and got out, walking up to Lana, who was hunched over a grave stone.  
  
"Are you okay?" Chloe said as she saw Lana was crying so hard she was shaking, and then noticed she was at her parent's grave. Chloe had never even known they were buried here.  
  
"Chloe..." Lana just shook her head no.  
  
Chloe felt so bad, Lana was so upset, presumably over her biological parents, "What's wrong."  
  
"I didn't want to know." Lana choked out.  
  
"Know?" Chloe asked.  
  
"About Clark... I didn't want to know." Lana cried.  
  
"You know?" Chloe eyes went wide. "What was it?"  
  
"No... I can't tell you... trust me, you don't want to know!" Lana assured her. 


	9. Actions

Clark couldn't stop thinking about what Chloe had said. He never really asked any deep questions about his adoption. Once, he remembered, when he was about 10, asking his father who his real parents were and Lionel said he had no idea, and Clark believed him, but still got the feeling he was withholding information, so he went to Lex. His older brother told him the whole truth. Clark could still remember every word to that conversation.  
  
flashback  
  
"He wasn't lying; he really doesn't know who your parents are." Lex confirmed, "But I remember the day he got you..." Lex decided to leave out the part about how angry Lillian was, it would hurt Clark too much, "I heard Dad talking, and he told Mom your parents must have abandoned you, that you were found wandering the streets, dirty, scared, and you didn't even have shoes on."  
  
end flashback   
  
Clark had fully accepted that for the truth, being 10 years old. He never really felt the need to investigate further; he wasn't interested in finding someone who didn't want him. He had a family who wanted him now. He was so intent on finding out WHAT he was, he never considered who he was from. Clark guessed that his special abilities had proved to distract his mind from asking the questions Chloe had asked him earlier. Clark knew deep down that he truly didn't want to know; nothing good could come from it. Even though he had a family, equipped with its set of problems, and all everything money could buy you, the pain of rejection hurt, hurt bad. Clark didn't know why, he couldn't remember them, they were nothing to him, but he couldn't help the way his heart felt. Clark never had fantasies of belonging to another family, Lionel and Lex meant everything to him. They made him feel special in a good way; they dissolved his wishes of being someone else, made him love who he was.  
  
He never felt like a freak with his Dad and brother, they made him feel almost better than them. Clark never took this for granted, because between seeing every normal person, and how they got a natural high for being strong, or good at sports, the effort they put into it, and being a billionaire's son, he knew what it felt like to be considered a freak. Out of the few people who had found out about Clark, the way they looked at him, the things they said and called him, the fear that was obviously there... it made him want to destroy their lives, like his father most likely had. That was also a reason he loved Chloe and Lana so much. Sometimes he felt like Chloe was his friend just because he was different, and that she kept his real identity a secret just so she knew something no one else did.  
  
But with Lana, she always made him feel normal, like he was how everyone was supposed to be, not the opposite; always referring to his abilities as something to be admired; not as a deformity, which until a few weeks ago was exactly what he thought he was. Meteor infected. Now he didn't know anything about whom or what he was. Where he came from, if Chloe was just trying to drive him crazy with he questions, planting doubts in his mind on the foundation his life was based on; or if there really was something off about everything.  
  
He would never, ever want to know the truth, except for the sole fact that it could possibly tell something about why he could do the things he could, what he was.  
  
Clark decided he would just keep his mind open to the possibilities and liberate his mind and stop believing just what he wanted to be the truth. But he wasn't going to bring anything up to Lionel.  
  
"You have to tell him!" Lana protested Jonathan's ongoing refusal to tell Clark the truth.  
  
"Lana!" Jonathan was getting so frustrated, "You KNOW he will ruin our family out of revenge!"  
  
"Listen, I was thinking, Clark didn't let him do anything to me and Chloe when we found out about his abilities, he won't let anything happen this time!" Lana argued.  
  
"Lana, I know you are smarter than this! Clark will get angry at Lionel! Lionel will want to blame someone other than himself, and that would be us! Besides, if that boy gets upset you don't know what he'll do! He could hurt people, Lana!" Jonathan spat back.  
  
"No, he wouldn't do that, Clark wouldn't hurt anyone." Lana said, knowing Jonathan was right about Lionel's revenge and couldn't keep in her tears any more, "please... if he finds out I kept this from him..." Lana didn't want to think about how bad it would hurt him; but she also didn't want to even consider anything happening to her parents. Maybe it was better she just kept it a secret, hurting Clark emotionally wasn't as bad as something horrible happening to her parents, and as Clark had said so many times before, he was the 'man of steel' but not only because he was bullet proof; he was tough emotionally, he had to be, being different and Lionel Luther's son. "Fine...I'll just let him continue being tortured over who he is." Lana said leaving the room, but she meant it, she would continue to share the family secret, and not tell Clark.  
  
"Lana, hey!" Clark said sneaking up behind her outside school.  
  
"Ah!" Lana said, surprised. "Clark." God, it was hard just looking at him now.  
  
"My car's that way." Clark said pointing to the opposite direction she was walking. Lana knew where his car was. Lana didn't understand and gave him a questioning look.  
  
"Chloe's house. Major study session for finals. You asked me for a ride last week. Any of this ringing a bell?" Clark said laughing, for once it was Lana who forgot.  
  
"Oh." Lana said remembering. She had to go on normal, it was the only way, "Right."  
  
"I'm going to go the bathroom." Clark said using the excuse to get away from the awkwardness that was this study group. Clark left too eager.  
  
"Lana?" Chloe said once Clark was gone, "You're treating Clark like a disease."  
  
"I don't mean to! I just, ah..." Lana buried her face in her hands.  
  
"This is about what you found out about Clark! Just tell him... and me." Chloe was trying so hard not to force Lana into telling her what she knew. Clark was a hard puzzle to do, especially when you are missing pieces. It was like Lana had stolen the pieces, and it pissed Chloe off.  
  
"No. I know you're mad, I want to but I can't." Lana had that back-off-I'm- stressed-enough tone.  
  
"I'm not mad." Chloe lied.  
  
"You know, I think I just need a good night's sleep. I'm just going to leave, it's not like I'm getting any studying done anyways." Lana needed out.  
  
Clark entered the room, "You're leaving?" Clark said as if he had just expected it, or was thinking the same thing.  
  
"Ya, I'm tired and am going to head out." Lana said getting her books and things quickly, and just as fast she was out the door with a few rushed good-byes, but Clark followed her outside and grabbed her hand in a intimate way,  
  
"Lana, did I do something? I know I the past couple days I haven't been-" Clark started to apologize.  
  
"No, no! Stop! Don't apologize, you didn't do anything. It's just me." Lana felt even guiltier, hoping Clark would just go away before she broke down.  
  
"What's going on?" Clark asked, sensing more than just a bad day. Lana just stared on the porch floor, unable to utter a single word, afraid of the tears now forming in her eyes. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me, but I'm here if you want to talk; only god knows how many times you've been there for me." Clark said rubbing her back, hoping to calm her, as she was obviously upset by how fast she was breathing.  
  
Clark was so surprised that when Lana finally looked at him, she was crying, her eyes screaming with hidden pain. Clark closed the small gap between them and embraced her in a hug, "It's that bad?"  
  
Lana just cried harder and wrapped her arms around Clark.  
  
"It's going to be okay." Clark said feeling it was the only thing to say, because he knew he would do whatever he could to help her feel 'okay' again, just like she did for him, even if she didn't want to tell him what was wrong.  
  
1 week later  
  
Martha felt like she couldn't do anything right lately. Every task she was doing, her mind always drifted to thoughts of Clark, or how Jonathan and Lana barely spoke to each other anymore, when they used to Lana used to talk to Jonathan about everything, from her problems to the best part of her day. Martha could tell Lana wouldn't have anything to say about the good part of her day. The look in her eyes told her, her daughter was not happy.  
  
Martha completely agreed with both Lana's and Jonathan's opinion on not telling and telling Clark the truth.  
  
Martha was crossing the deserted street, when he mind wandered back to Clark.  
  
"Watch out!" Someone yelled at Martha as she looked up to see a car speeding around the corner right at her.  
  
As she let out a scream, she found that she was no longer in the street, but in an alley 2 blocks away.  
  
"Are you okay?" Clark asked.  
  
"Yes." Martha said realizing that Clark must have saved her.  
  
Clark stepped back when he realized who it was; he had never felt such a strong feeling of anxiety. Would Martha tell someone? Black mail him with this information to stay away from Lana? He couldn't send his father in to cover it up, to when it was Lana's parents. Why wasn't she freaking out or asking the usual 'How did you do that?'?  
  
Martha saw Clark's scared eyes on her waiting for her response to what just happened, "Clark, you saved my life, thank you."  
  
"You're not... freaking out... why?" Clark hoped he didn't regret his question. Maybe he should have just left, but he had to know what she was planning to do.  
  
"I..." Martha didn't know how to explain her calm reaction, other than with the truth, but was not about to blurt something out she would regret, "I've seen lots of people who can do things... from the meteors."  
  
Clark just stared at her for a moment, deciding weather to go along with it, or to deny it, not knowing which one was more dangerous, "I'm not a freak." He said a too defensively.  
  
Martha felt like she had hurt him, and her motherly instinct took over, to heal the hurt feelings, "I didn't mean it like that. Clark, being really strong and fast doesn't mean you are a freak." Martha rambled on.  
  
Clark's eyes went wide.  
  
"What?" Martha didn't understand his reaction.  
  
"Who said I was strong?" Clark asked. 


	10. Uncovered

"Who said I was strong?" Clark repeated himself.  
  
"I?" Martha hadn't even realized she had said strong, "Clark, don't worry I won't tell anyone about you're abilities."  
  
"You knew though." Clark was very good at reading people's body language, to see what they wouldn't say. When Martha didn't deny prior knowledge of his abilities, Clark continued, "how?"  
  
"Clark?" Martha couldn't answer him.  
  
"Lana told you." Martha could see a look of betrayal in his eyes.  
  
"No!" Clark believed her. "I? I?" Martha had to make a big decision. "Clark, we all have our secrets."  
  
Clark could see Martha's eyes were pleading with him to just back off, but why should he make things easier on her, after her and her husband made things so much harder on him and Lana, "And your secret is knowing mine?"  
  
"I?" Martha was getting trapped, just lie, she thought, but she couldn't, not while looking at his confused face, begging for answers, "yes."  
  
"When did you see me use my abilities?" Clark was mentally kicking himself; he had tried to be so careful his whole life, afraid of exposure.  
  
"When you were little." Martha said honestly, relieved that Clark assumed the 'how' part already.  
  
"So that is why you guys hate me so much, isn't it?" Clark said.  
  
Martha couldn't bear the mixed look of pain and anger on Clark's face and in his voice.  
  
"No, of course not." Martha said.  
  
"Sure." Clark said sarcastically.  
  
"No?Clark?" Martha need to give him some other explanation, "It's not even because of you."  
  
"You can just admit you don't want Lana being friends with a freak!" Clark said the word 'freak' with such pain and anger.  
  
"No? it's not you!" Martha owed him this one explanation; at least, "It's because of your father."  
  
Clark suddenly got a horrible thought. If Lionel had known, that they knew his secret, he would have silenced them, and Clark was well aware of how he did that. But he still felt intense anger towards the Kents, "What did he ever do to you?"  
  
"Does it really even matter Clark?" Martha asked.  
  
"Yes, because Lana is my best friend, and you hate me, and you are making life so hard for her because of that fact." Clark said bitterly.  
  
"Clark, I honestly think you don't even want to know yourself, but if you do, you'll ask your father." Martha was happy with her answer.  
  
"He isn't evil like you think." Clark wanted desperately to have Martha on his side, he didn't even know why; maybe he felt she was the key to his relationship with Lana.  
  
Martha felt like this might be the only chance she got to know the answer to a question that haunted her for so many years, and without the that answer she could never truly move on, "Are you happy, Clark?" tears filled her eyes.  
  
Clark was caught off guard by her question and her tears, "I donno, I guess. Why would you ask me that?"  
  
"Is he cruel to you?" Martha said referring to Lionel.  
  
"What? He is my father." Clark assumed that gave her the instinctive no, that was in his mind. Why did she care anyways?  
  
"I just need to know that you were treated right. That you are happy." Martha needed a real answer from him.  
  
"Why? You don't even know me." Clark said in a rather confused voice.  
  
"You're right. I don't know you." Martha said in a pained voice.  
  
"What's with you? One day you hate me, and the next day you actually care if I'm happy or not? If you really did, you'd stop forbidding me to see Lana." Clark said pissed off.  
  
"I have, I ?we're not trying to hurt you." Martha was disappointed that she obviously wasn't going to get her answer.  
  
"Whatever, I don't know what kind of game you are trying to play here, with this? this friendly act, but you can't stop me from being friends with Lana." Clark said directly.  
  
"I'm not trying to play any games?" Martha sighed, the thought that Clark assumed any stranger being nice to him just wanted something from him, hurt her. Is that how he went through life? Second guessing everyone's intentions, and justified in doing so? "Clark, thank you for saving my life." Martha turned to leave, letting her tears fall faster.  
  
"Lana, your Mom has known about my abilities since I was a little kid!" Clark said in a nervous tone.  
  
"What?" Lana said feeling extreme anxiety. Thoughts raced threw her head so fast, Clark knew everything; he hated her; he would never speak to her again?  
  
"I was just as shocked as you!" Clark said sitting down next to her.  
  
"How did you know that?" Lana said wishing she could just erase all her memories just to avoid this conversation.  
  
"I just found out! I had to tell you! Your mom was in the road and I had to use my abilities to save her, or else she would have been run over, don't worry she is okay." Clark read Lana expression of fear, "she wasn't freaked out at all. She said she has known since I was a little kid. She saw me so do something. Can you believe that!" Clark said trying to believe it himself.  
  
"Yes." Lana whispered.  
  
"Did you know?" Clark felt uneasy.  
  
"Ya?" Lana's lower lip quivered. She couldn't lie to Clark.  
  
"How come you didn't tell me?" Clark asked calmly, knowing Lana would have a perfect explanation, because it was Lana, who he completely trusted.  
  
"They asked me not to? and I didn't know how to explain?I found out 2 weeks ago." Lana felt her eyes sting with tears, no, she thought, don't cry, "Please don't hate me."  
  
"Lana?" Clark said embracing her, "I could never hate you. Don't cry." He wiped a few tears off her cheek.  
  
"Clark?" Lana's voice wavered from crying, "I'm sorry?"  
  
Clark could feel Lana's body shake with each sob she took, "Lana, it's okay. It doesn't matter. I understand." Clark really didn't understand. He didn't understand why she couldn't tell him, he didn't understand why they had just told her about him, and most of all he didn't understand why she was so upset.  
  
It was 3 in the morning and Clark was sitting outside on the steps, thinking about everything, confused, depressed, and scared of the answers.  
  
Clark heard footsteps and the door slam shut. Lionel came out and sat on the porch next to Clark; and in a sympathetic tone said, "Clark, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." Clark lied.  
  
"You've been sitting here for over two hours. What's going on with you lately?" Lionel asked.  
  
"I don't know! I just? everybody keeps telling me things, like hidden warnings?" Clark could tell his Dad anything. "I don't know why it's bothering me so much? except maybe? it's all adding up to something I don't like."  
  
"And what is that?" Lionel asked.  
  
"That you are keeping something from me." Clark looked his father straight in the eyes, "Something big."  
  
"Clark, what are you talking about?" Lionel tensed up a little bit.  
  
"I donno, I was hoping you could tell me." Clark sighed, "What is the secret behind my adoption? What connection is there between them knowing about my abilities and hating you? Why would you pick me of all kids to adopt?" and then to himself he whispered, "Why does Martha Kent care if I'm happy?"  
  
"Clark... I'll tell you, but you have to know I kept this all from you, to spare you the pain. Knowing wouldn't have made any difference, and you never needed to know. But I would never lie to you." Lionel took a deep breath as he started into his son's eyes. 


	11. Aftermath

"Clark, you must know by now that you were abandoned as a small child." Lionel knew.  
  
"Ya." Clark looked down; it still hurt.  
  
"Well, Martha and Jonathan Kent were the ones who found you." Lionel explained.  
  
"What? You never said..." Clark was surprised.  
  
"Because it didn't matter. They found you and apparently they couldn't have children of their own, so they just decided to keep you." Lionel said, sounding disgusted, "They didn't even try and look for your real parents, or notify anyone."  
  
"They kept me?" Clark was confused.  
  
"Yes, apparently they had you for about 6 months, secretly." Lionel face Clark, "They realized that they couldn't continue, so they came to me, they wanted me to forge a fake birth certificate for you."  
  
"What! Why would they even think you would do it?" Clark was so surprised.  
  
"Because... at the meteor show, they helped Lex, after his accident...they assumed I owed them one." Lionel didn't wait for Clark's reaction, "They were so angry with me that I wouldn't do it. Once I knew about you, I couldn't just let them continue on with their sick lies. When I had a social worker try and remove you from their home, into a proper adoption agency, they went crazy. They swore you were really theirs, and that I couldn't take you, screaming that you were special, that no one else would take you. They never told anyone about you, it just proves that they know how sick a thing they did, keeping you like that. You asked earlier... why I adopted you...This was all so recent after Julian's death... and they were right, you were special, I obviously couldn't hand you over to just anyone, so I adopted you. To tell the truth, I was deeply concerned when I heard that they had adopted the Lang girl."  
  
"Dad..." Clark could feel his father's pain, for what he didn't know.  
  
"Clark, I know you have every right to be angry with me, but you most of all must understand keeping things from someone, to protect them." Lionel said in an apologetic tone.  
  
Clark just sat there for a few moments, "You should have told me!"  
  
"Clark..." Lionel sighed. Clark had been gone in less than an instant, using his super speed.  
  
When Clark finally stopped running, he found himself in New York, atop a high building, just sitting there thinking.  
  
How was keeping that from me, protecting me? It all makes sense now. What kind of sick bastards just takes a kid? What if I wasn't abandoned? It's possible; maybe they even know who my real parents are. Lana must have known all this; it only makes sense for her reaction the other day. What had they told her? What kind of monsters has she had to grow up with? Ah, Dad should have told me! Maybe it didn't matter in the past, but he knew the whole time why the Kents hated me. Maybe if I had known... If I'd of known, I probably wouldn't have done anything different, but still. Are you happy? Isn't that what Martha had asked me. This certainly explains the look I saw in her eyes, a look of... history together. She sounded so genuine, like she actually cared. I've grown up in Smallville and had crossed paths with the Kents many times, but never suspected anything.  
  
"Where is Clark, what did you do to him?" Lex asked Lionel angrily.  
  
"Stay out of this, Lex." Lionel matched his anger.  
  
"Hell no! He is my little brother and I'm not going to let you mess with him." Like you did with me, Lex wanted to add, "I never thought you would do anything to Clark though. He was always your favorite, you would do anything for Clark."  
  
"I didn't do anything to Clark!" Lionel shouted.  
  
"Then why is he gone?! He has been missing for 2 days!" Lex countered.  
  
"He is fine, he just needs time." Lionel said turning away from Lex.  
  
"No, Dad! He is just a kid still, he isn't invincible, no matter how much he seems like it. This time you finally got to him. Trust me, I know as well as you how tough Clark is! He has never left before, not for this long." Lex wanted to know, "What did you do!"  
  
"He'll be fine. You don't need to get involved in this." Lionel poured a glass of scotch.  
  
"He is my brother! I have the right to know, to help him!" Lex yelled.  
  
"No! I know how you help, Lex! Always looking for your opportunity to turn him against me!" Lionel snared.  
  
"You've blinded him from the real you! All I've ever told him was the truth, when you wouldn't!" Lex defended himself. He wanted Clark to see who Lionel really was, but he didn't want Clark to hate him, or did he? He knew how it felt to grow up without being loved by any parents, and he didn't want Clark to go threw that.  
  
"You mean YOUR view of me! Don't make him hate me just because you do! Lex, Get out!" Lionel was seriously not in the mood.  
  
"Clark." Lionel was so relieved to see Clark sitting on his bed, "I'm glad you came back." He saw not sure of what else to say.  
  
"I need time to think." Clark said, then standing up, "I'm still pissed off but... I get it..."  
  
Lionel couldn't help but grin, "Clark, you know I would never hurt you on purpose."  
  
"I know... but can't keep secrets like that from me!" Then after a small pause, Clark continued, "Is that is? Is there anything else you haven't told me?"  
  
"No, I swear. You know you can ask me anything, and I would tell you the truth." Lionel said gripping Clark's shoulder.  
  
"Ya..." Clark said, knowing in his mind that he had already completely forgiven his Dad, no matter how much he wanted to stay mad at him. Clark accepted Lionel's hug, it meant a lot to Clark. Luthers didn't show emotion very much.  
  
"Dad, what if they know." Clark needed to relay his idea to his father.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What is the Kents know what I am? Who my real parents are." Clark said feeling a new burst of hope he hadn't had in years.  
  
"Clark..." Lionel said shaking his head.  
  
"Dad, what if they have known all these years!" Clark found himself excited and a little scared.  
  
"Clark, how would they know?" Lionel was trying to let down Clark's hopes easily.  
  
"I donno, maybe I really wasn't abandoned!" Clark suggested.  
  
Lionel just looked at Clark.  
  
"I have to at least see. Dad, I have to know what I am." Clark said.  
  
"Who you are." Lionel hated when Clark referred to himself as a thing. "And Clark, I don't even like the idea of you around those people."  
  
"No, Dad, it's okay. They already know about my abilities, and they haven't told anyone. What is the worse that could happen?" Clark had thought this through.  
  
"Clark, it's not a good idea. You saw Jonathan that night, he was threatening me, saying he would tell people about you."  
  
"He said he would tell me." Clark corrected him. "And I already know."  
  
"Still..." Lionel was desperately reaching for excuses, "Jonathan is unpredictable and-"  
  
"Then I'll asked Martha. Dad, I have to do this. You can't stop me. You should understand why I have to know." Clark had made his mind up.  
  
"Clark, You are back. Lex called me, asking if I had seen you. He sounded really worried. Are you okay?" Lana asked.  
  
"You know about my adoption, or before it. Don't you?" Clark sat down facing her.  
  
"So you know?" Lana said breaking eye contact. "You probably hate me. I'm sorry! I would have told you, but my parents said that you had to hear it from your Father, or else he would..."  
  
Clark took Lana's hands in his, "No. I understand why you couldn't tell me. I'm not mad... at you."  
  
"You're not?" Lana said feeling relieved.  
  
"I never even guessed..." Cark said wanting to share it with her.  
  
"Me either... Its... crazy..."  
  
"And kind of weird..." Clark said laughing to break the tension.  
  
"So if you're not mad at me... are you mad at anyone else?" Lana was hinting at Lionel.  
  
"I was kind of mad at my Dad for not telling me, but I'm kind of over it." Clark confessed.  
  
"Really?" Lana couldn't believe how well Clark was taking the news that his father had practically kidnapped him, so well.  
  
"Ya..."  
  
"Wow, I could never do that..." Lana said as the end of the lunch bell rang.  
  
"Are you going to class?" Lana wondered, because he hadn't been there all morning, he seemed to just come to talk to her.  
  
"Nope." Clark said walking away, not sure of what else to say to Lana. But he also had plans for the afternoon. He needed to pay a visit to Martha Kent.  
  
·   
  
"Clark." Martha said surprised as she found him inside her house, as she walked in, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Getting answers." Clark said, standing up, "I know about how you found me, and kept me."  
  
"Lana told you?" Martha felt nervous and guilty.  
  
"My father told me." Clark said sternly, "How did you really find me?"  
  
"I don't know what you mean." Martha lied.  
  
"Who are my real parents?" Clark asked.  
  
"How would I know?" Martha asked.  
  
"Because, you found me. Was I really abandoned?" Clark asked.  
  
"Clark, I..." Martha couldn't tell him that, "I don't know."  
  
"I think you do. I think you know a lot. Do you know who I am... who I really am?" Clark asked.  
  
Martha knew exactly what he meant, "Clark..."  
  
"You asked me if I was happy." Clark reminded her. "You looked like you really cared, like you really did want me to be happy, but you are lair, just like I thought. If you really cared, you would tell me the truth." Clark super speeded away, leaving Martha in tears, talking to herself.  
  
"Clark, I really do care, I do..." she sobbed. 


	12. True Self

"Now will you tell me?" Chloe said frustrated, "Since Clark already knows!"  
  
"Chloe, he can tell you if he wants you to know." Lana said getting really annoyed. "What's with you anyways? You only care about finding out about Clark's past. You didn't even care when he disappeared for 2 days, except that it maybe had something to do with Clark's adoption."  
  
"Well, why should I have been worried? It's not like Clark can get hurt or anything." Was Chloe's defense.  
  
"But didn't you even care at all, that he was upset?" Lana found herself disliking Chloe more and more lately.  
  
"I was talking to my friend Van Nolty, I've told you about him before, he is really interested in all the meteor freaks, like me." Chloe refreshed her memory.  
  
"Ya, I remember, I don't like him, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but why are you even friends with him?" Lana noted that Chloe avoid her last question.  
  
"We have common interests. Besides, I thought you liked people who had an open mind." Chloe said.  
  
"I do, but... he doesn't look at the people who were meteor infected with an open mind. He sees them all as evil, dangerous creatures and that is not true." Lana said.  
  
"Lana, ya they are." Chloe had to laugh at Lana, "How many times have you been attacked by them?"  
  
"Chloe, just because the dangerous ones, come out in the open, doesn't mean they are all like that. I can't believe you would even say that. What if Clark heard you say that?" Lana called her on it.  
  
"Clark isn't even one of them. Don't act like you love all of them just because Clark is a freak too." Chloe retorted.  
  
"He isn't a freak. Why are being such a..."  
  
"Bitch? Go ahead, say it, Lana." Chloe dared her.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, but you are. Clark's my best friend, and I thought he was one of yours too." Lana was hostile.  
  
"He is, but friendship means different things to different people. Clark understands that, he is a Luther, they use people for different reasons." Chloe explained.  
  
"So what really is your reason for being friends with Clark?" Lana had never distrusted anyone so much at that moment.  
  
Chloe just laughed.  
  
"Is Clark just another story to you, or something? Because lately all you seem to care about is finding out Clark's secrets, his past." Lana couldn't believe Chloe.  
  
"Of course not." Chloe said. Lana didn't believe her though.  
  
"I can't, Lex, Dad and me are going to New York for the weekend." Clark turned down Lex's invitation to go to a concert, "It's funny, you run away for a weekend, and suddenly everyone wants to do stuff with you." Clark chuckled.  
  
"I know I haven't been the best brother lately, and I just thought we could spend some time together. But maybe when you get back." Lex said.  
  
"Ya, definitely." Clark smiled.  
  
Clark had been thinking so much lately, and he knew what was important to him. Clark always knew in his heart that he loved Lana, and wanted to be with her. Clark was certainly not scared to ask her out, he was never shy about girls. But Lana was different, he had something huge to lose- her friendship. Clark had never really had a friend like Lana, a real friend. Who knew the truth about him, but still stayed friends with him because they wanted to, not because of fear or because they wanted to study him or blackmail him, or get because he had money.  
  
After hours of thinking about it, Clark knew he had to make his move. He had to know if she felt the same way about him. He had to see if it could work between them. He had to take the chance, even if he was rejected, it was worth the risk.  
  
"He found out from Lionel, so don't use that excuse anymore. You have to tell him about the ship." Lana told Jonathan.  
  
"Lana... he isn't our business anymore...it's not our place. I'm not getting this family mixed up with the Luthers again." Jonathan stood firm.  
  
"Jonathan, we have to tell him." Martha said.  
  
Lana and Jonathan both looked at her surprised. For the past 10 minutes they had been arguing, and she hadn't said a word. For the past 2 weeks every time they would fight, she refused to pick sides or give her input.  
  
"What?" Jonathan knew she would be the deciding factor.  
  
"He has to know... who he really is." Martha quoted Clark.  
  
Lana recognized that phrase. Clark had said it hundreds of times. He wanted to know who he really was.  
  
"Martha, you know as well as I do what getting mixed up in the Luthers does!" Jonathan didn't like that his wife was going against him.  
  
"Jonathan, if it was Lana, wouldn't you want her to know." Martha tried to get her husband to see her side.  
  
"It's not Lana. She isn't a Luther! It's different, and you know it!" Jonathan wasn't easily persuaded.  
  
"Can you just imagine how it feels? Everyday of your life, knowing you are so different from everyone else, and not having any explanation at all. Struggling every day to fit in. Not even having a mother to comfort your confusion, and growing up with Lionel Luther as a father. He can't even hide in the crowd, he is a Luther." Martha said, looking away from her family.  
  
Lana was so moved; it was like Martha was actually looking through Clark's eyes, like she didn't hate Clark, almost like ... her love for him was still there.  
  
"Martha..." Jonathan didn't know what to say, he refused to see Clark like that... he wasn't the victim Martha made him out to be.  
  
"I don't care if you think he is like his father, Jonathan, maybe he is, I don't know. But you not telling him is just...just a way to get even with Lionel. But you are hurting Clark, and that isn't fair. If you don't tell him, I will." Martha said.  
  
Jonathan and Lana had never heard her so passionate about something before, and really didn't know what to say. Lana couldn't believe what Martha had just accused Jonathan of, she had never even thought of it like that, but when she said it like that, it sounded so... horrible.  
  
Jonathan felt guilty, but didn't know what to say, he was definitely not going to tell Clark. He couldn't stand looking at him, much less having a conversation about who he really was.  
  
"Then I guess I'm telling him." Martha was disappointed; she hoped her husband would step up. But she understood to a certain point. Jonathan was a good man, and he would do anything for his family, and at some point, Clark was part of it. It was like after they adopted Lana, he just looked at Clark as a part of Lionel. Martha had never seen her husband hate someone so much, it actually scared her sometimes.  
  
"Fine." Jonathan excited the room.  
  
"Mom, I never knew you felt like that." Lana said impressed.  
  
"It's the right thing to do, Lana." Martha said, "Your father is a good man, but the what Lionel did, it just hurt him so much, and he can't forgive him." Martha didn't want to make Jonathan a bad person in his daughter's eyes.  
  
"YA!!!" Clark was just another one of the thousands of fans in the stadium, cheering as his team scored the winning run.  
  
Lionel just laughed, seeing his son so enthusiastic.  
  
"That was a great game." Clark said sitting back down next to his father, in the front row seats.  
  
"That could be you someday." Lionel pointed out.  
  
"Ya." Clark smiled. He could do anything he wanted. Clark's cell phone rang and he picked it up,  
  
"Hey Lana... ya, I'm in New York... just watching a baseball game... I'll be back Sunday night, why? ... ya, I have some things I want to say too... your house? Won't your parents be pissed if... you're sure? ... Okay then..." Clark hung up.  
  
"You like her a lot, don't you?" Lionel smirked.  
  
"Ya, I do." Clark loved the fact that his father just knew, without him saying a word.  
  
Clark had really enjoyed the weekend with his father, catching up and remembering old times. Clark was sitting on the bed, in the hotel room, watching a re-run of Late Night with Conan O'Brien.  
  
"Clark, I have to stay here tonight. I have to meet with some people, regarding that new project I told you about. Your flight leaves in about 45 minutes." Lionel said.  
  
"I can just run back, it's quicker anyways." Clark said flipping channels.  
  
"Clark..." Lionel hesitated, "what if someone sees you?"  
  
"They won't, I do it all the time. Don't worry." Clark assured him.  
  
"Okay, but you had better go to school tomorrow. You have missed 10 days in the last month and a half and-"  
  
"I know, I know. Don't worry I'll be there." Clark said. It was no big deal to him, he got good grades in school, due to the fact that he could super speed read a book in 10 seconds. He knew he didn't really need a good education though, he had his father's company to take over, if he wanted to, or he could make millions in professional sports.  
  
"Hey, Lana." Clark greeted her, as he stepped inside her house. "Your dad isn't here, is he?"  
  
"No..." Lana looked so serious.  
  
Clark was a little relieved, "So... You want to go first, or should I?"  
  
Lana had to do this now, or she knew she wouldn't have the courage later, "Clark, this is really important. I would explain myself but... well, you'll see."  
  
"Explain what to me?" Clark asked with a smirk.  
  
Before she could answer, Martha walked in, "Clark, I'm going to tell you the truth about what really happened the day we found you, because I really do want you to be happy."  
  
"Okay..." Clark didn't know what to say, it was very awkward.  
  
"Clark, have a seat." Martha gestured toward the seat facing her, so they could talk face to face.  
  
Clark sat down, and Lana sat down right next to him.  
  
"Clark, I don't know what Lionel told you, about what really happened, but we did find you." Martha paused, seemingly expecting some response from Clark.  
  
"and?" Clark didn't know what else to say. He felt Lana's hand squeeze his, in a comforting manner.  
  
"It was the day of the meteor shower, and our truck flipped over... and there you where, you looked like you were about 3 years old or so. Jonathan and I were looking around for your parents and..." Martha didn't think it was going to be this hard, but with Clark starring at her with those sad eyes...  
  
When Martha didn't continue, Clark looked to Lana. She didn't respond but just held his hand tighter.  
  
"Mom..." Lana urged.  
  
"Ya... we found something...something we had never seen before..." Martha didn't want to be too blunt about this, but there was really no easy way to say it, "It was a small device that you must have been in... it's a spaceship."  
  
"A spaceship?" Clark laughed aloud.  
  
"I know, it sounds crazy, we didn't want to believe it either but it's true." Martha said, her voice shaking.  
  
"Sure." Clark said sarcastically.  
  
"Clark, it's true. I saw it." Lana looked up at him, and he knew she was telling the truth as he stared back at her big brown eyes that shown nothing but fear.  
  
"No... I'm different, but I'm not... an alien." Clark refused to accept it.  
  
"I can show you..." Lana suggested.  
  
"I..." Clark had to face this, "okay" He said so quite it came out as almost a whisper.  
  
As Lana and Clark walked out to the storm cellar, Lana never let go of Clark's hand, and as they reached the cellar, Clark noticed her rubbing his arm, and it made him more nervous, because it showed she was worried about him.  
  
Once inside Lana broke the silence, "Clark... it's okay, this doesn't change who you are..." she lifted the sheet off the ship.  
  
"No..." was all Clark said, as he ran his hand over the metal object, "No.."  
  
"It's okay..." Lana tried to comfort him, as she resisted her tears, she had to be strong for him.  
  
"It's not okay, Lana... you know what this means... I'm... I'm not even human..." Clark was disgusted with the thought.  
  
"Clark..." Lana had never been at a loss for word, as she was now. What could she say? It was true.  
  
"You are still the same Clark I knew." Lana said, forcing a smile.  
  
For the first time, since Clark had entered Lana's house, he let go of her hand, "No, I'm not..."  
  
"Clark, I know you must be scared, and I understand that, but this doesn't change anything." Lana gripped him arm.  
  
"Doesn't it?" Clark was really feeling it hard.  
  
Lana hugged Clark tight, "No."  
  
Clark held Lana's small body in his arms for what seemed like hours, before the left her go.  
  
"Clark, where are you going? Don't leave." Lana didn't want him to be alone, not now.  
  
"I need time to think about this.. alone..." and Clark was gone in an instant. 


	13. Together

Clark sat there in the cemetery in the utter darkness of the night, because that is what he felt like being- dead. He was so scared, of everything. Of what it truly meant to be an alien, of what his father would say. He could handle being meteor infected, there were others like him. In his mind, it was no different from having a disease, with side affects.  
  
Have you ever felt abandoned?  
  
Felt so lost that you were stranded,  
  
Just like all the walls were closing in and you were left inside,  
  
Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?  
  
Stuck under a tree in thunder,  
  
There seems to be no way out,  
  
But there is one, when in doubt.  
  
After about ½ an hour of just sitting there, Clark did something he thought was impossible: he smiled thinking of how Lana had been right by his side, holding his hand. Reassuring him that he was in fact that he was still the same Clark Luther. He just knew now, it didn't make a difference. If Lana didn't think he was freak, he wasn't. Its funny how one person could bring you out of something you thought would kill you. Strange, how you know what love feels like in one moment.  
  
Clark felt at peace with himself as he held Lana in his arms.  
  
"Clark, are you okay?" Lana said breaking their perfect moment.  
  
"I?ya, I am." Clark smiled at the thought. "Lana, thank you so much."  
  
"For what?" Lana had only brought him pain today.  
  
"For being there for me, Lana? I love you." Clark cupped Lana's face with his hand. "Because you accepted me, all of me." Clark leaned and kissed Lana. He completely lost himself in Lana, the second their lips touched. Lana fully kissed him back.  
  
Lana saw Clark walk into the Beanery and she immediately headed for the back. She didn't want to see Clark right now. Lana let out a sigh once she was in the back, out of sight.  
  
"Clark." Lana's guards went up, as she saw Clark walk through the door, "What are you doing back here?"  
  
"I saw you come back here and I just wanted to see you? listen, Lana, last night.." Clark said.  
  
"Clark, last night? I understand that you were going threw a lot and?" Lana wasn't ready to face him, not this soon, "I think it might have been a mistake? and I understand if you want to-"  
  
"Lana, last night meant a lot to me. Everything you told me, that wasn't the reason I kissed you. I meant it when I told you I loved you." Clark looked hurt.  
  
"No, I? it meant so much to me, too. I just?" Lana didn't know how to say it, "What if? if we don't work out? I'll be losing my best friend."  
  
"Lana, it could be something so much greater than what we have now. I've thought about it too, and I know in my heart, our friendship could survive it." Clark's eyes pleaded with her.  
  
"Clark?"  
  
"Lana?" Clark whispered, "Love is worth the risk." He left.  
  
"? and I saw the ship myself, I believe them, Dad." Clark waited for his father's reaction to what he just told him.  
  
"Clark? wow? I? are you okay with this?" Lionel asked.  
  
"No? but what am I going to do about it? I just have to accept it." Clark said.  
  
"Alright? but Clark, it may just be a hoax. I will have someone go down there tomorrow and retrieve what you claim is a spaceship." Lionel wasn't quite ready to fully believe this, not without proof.  
  
Clark was just relived his father wasn't disgusted at his "son" not even being human.  
  
"So did you find out about what is up with your friend?" Van Knolty asked Chloe.  
  
"Don't even get me started! I haven't even seen him." Chloe was thoroughly annoyed with Clark.  
  
"Do you think he is meteor infected?" Van asked.  
  
Chloe paused, "Why would you ask that?"  
  
"Because?" Van clicked on a file on her computer, and Clark's profile popped up, asking for a password. "Why is he in your meteor freak section?"  
  
"You looked at my computer files!" Chloe couldn't stand people who messed with her computer, "Not that it is any of your business, but Clark helps me investigate the meteor freaks. He isn't one of them." Chloe was so tempted just to hint at it, knowing that she knew and he didn't would drive him crazy, "Besides you wouldn't know a meteor freak if you saw him everyday." Chloe smirked.  
  
Van duly noted the way Chloe said that, "I think you would be surprised."  
  
Chloe didn't like the threat in his voice, "Stay off my computer." She said coldly.  
  
"Lana, we have to take action against these freaks. I think you are going soft." Van said, walking around Chloe, to face her directly.  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about." Chloe said feeling really uncomfortable, "I am working just as hard as ever to uncover them, you know that."  
  
"That isn't enough. You can't trust them Chloe!" He slammed his hand on the torch desk.  
  
"Whoa! Calm down." Chloe urged.  
  
"Chloe, are you with me or not?" Van stared at her.  
  
"Van, you are scaring me." Chloe wanted to get away from him so bad.  
  
"You know how those meteor freaks killed my father! So how could you be friends with them?" Van demanded an answer.  
  
"Van, I'm not friends with them." Chloe didn't understand his sudden outburst.  
  
"Whatever." He stormed out of the room.  
  
"Weird." Chloe murmured to herself.  
  
"Clark, you were right. I just got scared. I care about you so much?" Lana stepped closer to Clark, "I'm sorry about earlier?"  
  
"No, Lana, don't be sorry. It's how you felt, and I completely understand it. I've kept my feelings for you a secret for so long, because of that fear." Clark smiled and gently kissed her.  
  
"Hey, can I get my coffee?" A male voice interrupted them.  
  
"Ya." Lana told him, and then to Clark, she laughed, "I forgot, I better get back to work." She gave him a quick kiss, before getting back to her job.  
  
"You guys are dating now?" The man said with contempt.  
  
Clark rolled his eyes, "Hi, Van." Clark hated him, but was civil because he was friends with Chloe. Van was the type to make you keep your guard up 24/7. "Last time I checked, it was none of your damn business."  
  
"So Clark, did you tell Lana your big secret?" Van stood up.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Clark said defensively.  
  
Van just laughed, "You are a freak, Luther! So is your brother. You don't deserve Lana. You don't deserve anyone. You think you can have anything you want, do anything you want, because of your daddy's money." Van stepped closer, getting in Clark's face, "Well you can't."  
  
"Listen, Van. Get the fk out of my face." Clark pushed him into a table, breaking it. "You stay away from Lana, and you stay away from me. I don't know what your obsession with me is, but it's going to stop."  
  
Clark walked out of the beanery.  
  
Lana came out from the back, as she heard a loud crash, "What happened?"  
  
"Your freak of a boyfriend!" Van said angry, getting up and also exiting the Beanery.  
  
"Martha?" Clark called out, as he entered the quite Kent house.  
  
"Clark." Martha said surprised, more at the smile on his face, than his presence, as she entered the room.  
  
"I um? I wanted to thank you? for telling me the truth." Clark quickly got to the reason for his visit.  
  
"Lana told me you took it really well." Martha said, "I'm glad. I was worried that? ya."  
  
"So you've known that I ? wasn't human, ever since you took- found me?" Clark asked.  
  
"Ya? Clark, I wanted to tell you sooner, but with? Lionel and Jonathan? it just wasn't possible." Martha confessed feeling guilty.  
  
"It's okay. I understand, my dad told me? but I got the impression it was more his fault than yours." Clark said, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit.  
  
"Fault? What do you mean?" Martha didn't like this.  
  
"Well? when my dad sent the social worker over? to get me? you know? um?" Clark was regretting saying anything, but why should he feel uncomfortable, he didn't do anything wrong, they did, "you guys practically kidnapping me."  
  
"Clark, we didn't? we ? what did he tell you?" Martha needed to know.  
  
Clark relayed the story, even using some of the exact terms Lionel had referred to the Kents, almost word for word as he heard it.  
  
Clark was surprised to see that Martha didn't look mad, more depressed, and it showed in her voice, "Clark? that isn't what happened. We were come crazy couple who would do anything to have a child. We knew you didn't have any parents? at least not any from around here. Clark, we knew if we turned you over to an adoption agency, they would study you like a lab rat."  
  
Images of his lab at the mansion flashed threw his head.  
  
"Lionel blackmailed Jonathan, and when Jonathan wouldn't do it, he refused to make the adoption papers. Clark, he never even sent a real social worker." It was so important that Clark knew the truth.  
  
"Sure." Clark said sarcastically, "I'm not mad with you, you don't have to make excuses. You gave me something yesterday, that no one else could, and I wanted to thank you for that."  
  
"Clark, it's true!" Martha insisted.  
  
"Jonathan is the evidence of your lies. I can see how unstable he is, he portrays all the traits my father said." Clark didn't like being lied to, and just because he wasn't angry with Martha, didn't mean he still didn't hate Jonathan.  
  
"No, Jonathan loved you!" Martha hated to see how Clark thought of her husband, "You have to believe me!"  
  
"Listen, I know you want to think that." Clark was beginning to think Martha was a little off; half an inch more and he would classify her as hysterical. Clark decided to leave, he didn't want to mess things up with Lana and causing her mother to have a mental breakdown definitely wasn't going to help. "I have to go."  
  
Clark was walking out the door, when Lana came down the stairs; no doubt from his mother's upset voice. He hadn't even known she was there. "Clark?" she said.  
  
"I was just leaving. I'll call you later, Lana." He waved as he left the house. Clark quickly walked across their field. Even though he knew they all knew about his abilities, he didn't feel comfortable using them in front of the Kents, especially Jonathan, who he suspected was somewhere on the farm doing chores. He would gladly miss running into him.  
  
Clark turned, as he heard a buzzing sound from behind him, he looked to see a bullet racing towards him, and put up his hand to block it.  
  
Martha and Lana raced out of the house, as they heard a scream of pain, just in time to see Clark drop to the ground. 


	14. Enemies

"Clark!" Lana said as she dropped to the ground, right next to Clark, who was screaming in pain.  
  
"Clark, what's wrong?" Lana asked, holding his head in her lap.  
  
"Lana... ah! My hand..." Clark groaned with pain.  
  
Lana looked at Clark's hand, and saw a hole clean through his hand, "oh." Lana felt dizzy, like she was going to pass out, but the sight of blood on Clark's shirt caused her to freak out so much, that passing out wasn't an option anymore.  
  
Lana pulled back Clark's shirt just enough to see that the blood was coming from his lower shoulder. "Mom!" Lana turned around to see Martha had disappeared. Panicked, Lana tried to keep Clark calm, the sounds he was making from pain, were so horrible, "Clark, it's going to be okay. I'm going to get you help. You're going to be okay, it's-"  
  
"Ah?" Clark cried out, "?Dad!" was all she could make out of Clark, as he screamed again.  
  
Lana immediately thought of her father, and turned back to see Martha & Jonathan running towards her.  
  
"What happened?" Jonathan asked, panic was visible in his eyes as he laid his eyes upon Clark.  
  
"I don't know. He's bleeding a lot and his hand." Lana barely noticed her tears, as she spoke to her father.  
  
"We have to get him inside." Jonathan instructed.  
  
Clark was struggling for breath as they laid him down on the kitchen floor. Jonathan ripped off his shirt, to find a bullet wound in his shoulder.  
  
Lana gasped at the site, "Dad, do something."  
  
"Lana, I don't know what to-" Jonathan was interrupted by another cry of pain from Clark.  
  
"Get it out!" Lana said as her mother produced a knife.  
  
Jonathan looked at Clark, and immediately took the knife, and positioned himself over Clark, "I don't know why it's ... so fast."  
  
As Jonathan cut a little threw Clark's skin, to gain access to the bullet, Clark let out a scream of pain and went unconscious.  
  
"Dad! He is dying!" Lana yelled.  
  
"Jonathan, he isn't breathing." Martha said, fear evident in her voice. Jonathan grabbed the pliers, "I'm trying... it's so far in there."  
  
Jonathan pulled out a neon green bullet out of Clark's shoulder.  
  
"It's made of the meteor rocks!" Lana realized. Lana immediately grabbed the bloody bullet and ran out the back door.  
  
"Jonathan, is he dead?" A tear streaked, Martha asked.  
  
"I don't know... he isn't breathing..." Jonathan looked at Clark's lifeless body. "Oh God..."  
  
Lana ran back into the house, "No!" She collapsed to the floor next to him.  
  
They all stared at him in silence for a few moments before they all saw Clark's shoulder heal itself, the only evidence was the blood.  
  
"Clark." Lana asked, stroking his head, but he didn't answer. He was still unconscious. "He is breathing..."  
  
Lana was shaking uncontrollably, and couldn't take her eyes off Clark. She jumped as she heard the phone ring, but it wasn't her phone. Lana hesitated before taking Clark's ringing phone out of his jean pockets.  
  
Lana pushed 'talk' and all she could do was cry into the phone.  
  
"Hello? Clark?" Lionel asked.  
  
"Clark's... he..." Lana tried to control herself, enough to talk, "he's shot... with meteor rocks... we... tried... and..." Lana just broke down.  
  
"What happened? Who shot Clark? Where is he?" Lionel demanded.  
  
"Kent farm... I don't know..." Lana cried, as she heard Lionel hang up. Clark leaned closer to Clark and stroked his hair, "Be okay, Clark?"  
  
"Who would have shot him?" Jonathan asked his wife.  
  
"I have no idea... it could have been anyone. He is a Luther, and so many people hate him." Martha pointed out.  
  
Jonathan felt like he had been stabbed in the heart, he felt like just by hating Clark, he had helped in shooting him. What if he didn't live? He didn't care what Clark had ever done, not now. Not after what he just saw, the pain he saw Clark go threw. No one, especially not a 16 year old, should have to go through that. The look on Clark's face when he lowered the knife-  
  
"But they had to know what the meteor rocks did to him. We didn't even know about that, Jonathan." Martha interrupted his thoughts. "Who could do that? He is just a kid!" Martha cried, and Jonathan hugged her.  
  
"Where is he?" Lionel barged threw the door angry, but was quickly silenced as he saw Clark lying on the floor, his chest covered in blood, and both Martha and Lana crying.  
  
"Clark?" He knelt down next to his son, supporting Clark's head. He looked up at Jonathan and Martha, "What happened to him?" he asked with pure grief in his voice.  
  
"Someone shot him. I got the bullet out, and the wound healed itself. But he hasn't regained consciousness." Jonathan said, seeing as he was the only one capable of talking at the moment, without completely breaking down.  
  
"No?" Lionel said to Clark, "You can't get hurt..." then to Jonathan, "bullets can't hurt him."  
  
"The bullet was made out of meteor rocks." Jonathan told him. For the first time, Jonathan could look at Lionel and not be angry. He didn't envy him, he didn't want that to be his child lying there, not knowing if he was going to live or not. If that was Lana, he didn't know what he would do. "I'm sorry." Jonathan didn't think he would ever say those words to Lionel. Jonathan had wished so many evil things upon Lionel, but now? now that the worst thing imaginable, in his mind, was happening to him, he wished he could make it so Clark was alright. Jonathan truly hoped with all his heart that Clark was going to live.  
  
"No, I have to get him a doctor." Lionel fumbled for his phone.  
  
Lana, incredibly upset, practically screamed, "No! Don't move him! You are only going to hurt him more! There is nothing you can do!" She broke down sobbing again.  
  
Lionel wasn't used to being useless, unable to help his son, as he struggled for his life.  
  
So they all waited, hour after hour, waiting for something, for Clark to wake up. No one spoke to each other. Jonathan and Martha left Lionel alone, and tried to get Lana to leave also, but she refused to leave Clark's side, until she knew he was okay. Around 2am, they all were relieved to find Clark breathing normally. After much reluctance, they all decided they needed at least a few hours of sleep, and unbelievably they found all the stress, had really worn down on them, and made it easier to fall asleep. Lionel and Lana were the last to fall into sleep, around 5am.  
  
Lana woke up after just an hour of sleep. She felt the cool kitchen tile beneath her, as she felt Clark move his arm.  
  
"Clark?" Lana asked hopefully, as she grabbed his hand and gave it a gently squeeze.  
  
Clark slowly opened his eyes. It took him a few minutes to notice Lana was right by him, it was still dark. He slowly propped himself up with one arm. "Lana." He whispered.  
  
"Clark!" She thought she screamed it, she was so excited, but it came out no louder than Clark's whisper. "You're okay." Lana threw her arms around Clark.  
  
Clark smiled, "Ya, I'm okay."  
  
"How do you feel?" Lana asked.  
  
"I feel a little dizzy, but I'm okay." Clark brushed a tear off her cheek.  
  
Lana visibly sighed with relief, "I thought you were going to die..."  
  
"I'm okay..." Clark rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.  
  
"Clark... I love you so much!" Lana said hugging him again. All she could think about was how she would never get to tell him she loved him.  
  
"I love you too." Clark cupped her cheek, and stared into her eyes for a moment before kissing her.  
  
Lana finally broke their kisses, "Clark, we should wake them up."  
  
"Alright." Clark said standing up.  
  
"Careful, Clark." Lana said steadying him.  
  
"Hello?" Clark answered his cell phone.  
  
"Hey it's me. I just wanted to see how you were doing."  
  
"Lana," Clark laughed, "It's been a week. I'm fine! You can stop worrying about me."  
  
"I know, but we still don't know who shot you. What if they try and do it again." Lana asked.  
  
"I'll be fine, Lana. As soon as I'm officially allowed out of the mansion, trust me, I'll find out who did it." Clark reassured her.  
  
"So has Chloe dropped by?" Lana had to know.  
  
"Um... no." Clark tried to hide how it hurt him.  
  
"Oh... well she is meeting me at the Beanery later. I can't believe she still hasn't visited you!" Lana was mad.  
  
"It's okay Lana. She is probably just scared, you know how some people get around sickness." Clark didn't know why he was making excuses for her.  
  
"Still... besides, you said so yourself, you are fine now." Lana felt like pulling Chloe's hair.  
  
"Did you ever tell her about us?" Clark asked, just remembering.  
  
"Oh! I completely forgot... with everything that has happened. I'm going to tell her today." Lana sounded excited.  
  
"So does this mean I'm your boyfriend?" Clark laughed.  
  
"Ya, I guess it does." Lana laughed, "I'll stop by later, okay?"  
  
"See you later." Clark said, still laughing, as he hung up. He felt incredible; he was Lana's boyfriend.  
  
"Too busy to visit, Clark? Chloe, he almost died." Lana said.  
  
"Lana... I have had to handle other things... important things." Chloe said, and Lana saw some truth to it.  
  
"Like? What was so important?" Lana challenged.  
  
"I... I was looking into some things. I was trying to figure out who shot Clark." Chloe said half truthfully.  
  
"Oh." Lana said, "Did you find out?"  
  
"Um... no." Chloe said sheepishly.  
  
"Chloe?" Lana stepped closer to her, "You know, don't you?"  
  
"Know what?" Chloe played dumb.  
  
"Who shot Clark." Lana said.  
  
"Lana?" Chloe didn't what was more dangerous, telling or not telling Lana.  
  
"I don't believe this! Why wouldn't you tell me!" Lana sounded so mad.  
  
"Because of this! You will get pissed off and tell Clark and Clark will hurt him!" Chloe shouted.  
  
"He tried to kill Clark! He deserves to go to jail! Why are you protecting him!" Lana felt like smashing Chloe into a wall.  
  
"It was mistake, Lana! He thought Clark was a meteor freak!" Chloe tried to get her to see.  
  
"You are unbelievable! It's okay that he tried to kill your best friend because he THOUGHT he was meteor infected!" Lana couldn't believe what she was hear, "What happened to you Chloe? You were never so... evil."  
  
"Lana, trust me, I didn't want anything to happen to Clark! I'm not evil!" Chloe was now angry too.  
  
"You are evil! He could try and kill Clark again, and you won't tell anyone who he is!" Lana shouted.  
  
"No, he wouldn't do that! Not that he knows." Chloe said.  
  
"What? You told him about Clark!" Lana couldn't believe it.  
  
"It was the only way!" Chloe said.  
  
"Who is it, Chloe! Who did you tell?" Lana needed to know.  
  
"Lana... I can't." Chloe said. "He is my friend. Clark would kill him."  
  
"Friend? You are friends with someone who would do that? And you know Clark! You know he would never kill someone!" Lana defended him.  
  
"Lana, he has killed people before!" Chloe pointed out.  
  
"He was saving our lives!" Lana couldn't believe she was using that against Clark.  
  
Chloe didn't say anything.  
  
"You know what! Stay away from me!" Lana yelled, "I don't want to be friends with someone who could betray their Best friend like that!"  
  
"Ah! I never want to see her again!" Lana said, sitting on [ Clark's couch. p "What did Chloe do that was so bad?" Clark asked, joining Lana i on the couch. c "She..." Lana didn't want o Clark, but he needed to know, "she ] knows who shot you. She won't tell me because it's her friend, and?" Lana decided to leave out the part about Clark killing people, she knew how guilty he felt about it already, "it's her friend. She even told him about you? your abilities." "What!" Clark was surprised. "Ya? Clark... I hate her so much right now." Lana couldn't even remember why she was friends with her in the first place. "I'm sorry." "You aren't the only one." Clark felt so betrayed, "I can't believe she would do that to me." "I know." "Lana, we have to find out who shot me. What if he tells someone about me?" Clark said. "I know. Trust me, Chloe isn't going to tell me." Lana said remembering their fight. "I'll get her to tell me." Clark said confidently. "But how? I thought your dad said you couldn't leave, not until he was 100% sure you were okay." Lana asked. "He already did all the tests, I'm fine." Clark said already getting up. "I have to go find her." "Do you want me to come with you?" Lana asked, grabbing her purse. "No, it's okay. I can find her faster on my own." Clark said referring to his super speed. "Right." Lana forgot. Clark had this overwhelming sense that if he didn't find Chloe and figure out who shot him soon, his secret was in danger of massive exposure. Clark had gone super speed previously, but now that he was on the main street he had to run at a normal speed, looking for Chloe. He had already searched the torch, Chloe's house, and the whole school. "Watch it!" A man shouted at him as he bumped into him. Clark wouldn't have paid any attention to it, except he recognized the voice; it was Jonathan. "Sorry." Clark never really had thanked him for saving his life, but he didn't' have time now and continued running on. Clark had searched practically all of Smallville, and found himself back at the main street. He was really frustrated as it was obvious Chloe was hiding from him. There was only a few people out and about on the street. Clark was so mad, at Chloe, at the lack of Chloe, and the possibility someone was telling his secret right now. He turned and punched the wall, just hard enough to crumble a few bricks. It made his even more angry that he was that careless with his abilities, and when Jonathan, who had obviously saw him, said, "I'd watch your temper." Clark was so mad, he just needed someone to yell at. "Shut the fk up! Don't act like you know me, or you even care about me!" Clark regretted saying it. "And I thought you weren't like your father." Jonathan said aloud to himself. "Shut up! I'm so fking sick of you trash talking my dad! He has done more in a year, than you could possibly imagine doing with your whole life!" Clark let it all out. "Clark, you are so blind! You can't even see how he really is! You are going to turn out just like him too!" Jonathan said it as an insult. "No matter what my father had done, he has never kidnapped a kid! You are one sick puppy! Yet, you have the balls to say stuff about my dad! I'd be proud to turn out half the man he was!" Clark shoved past Jonathan, continuing his search. I promise a good plot twist within the next 2 chaps. So bear with me. Please R&R and I hope u all had a good 4th of July. 


	15. Revenge

"Chloe!" Clark said as he returned to the Torch, to see her quickly leaving. "Stop." He ran up to her.

"Hi Clark!" Chloe smiled nervously. "Don't even!" Clark said, "Who did you tell?" "What do you mean?" Chloe asked, a little frightened by how angry Clark seemed.

"Who shot me? Who did you tell about my abilities? I swear to God, Chloe, if you don't tell me right now I'll-"

"Clark, calm down!" Chloe took a step backwards. "Chloe, you betray me... pretend to be my friend... and risk my life, my identity... and you want to tell me to calm down?" Clark couldn't believe she had just said that.

"Clark, you don't understand... I had to." Chloe said. "Bullshit. I don't want your excuses! Tell me who knows!" Clark shouted. "Clark... I can't... you are too angry." Chloe said taking another step backwards. Clark took a leap forward and grabbed Chloe's arm, "Tell me now!" Clark clenched his teeth, as Chloe started crying.

"It was Van..." Chloe said, her whole body was tense. "Van Knolty?" Clark asked, her answer just made him madder, he hated Van so much. He should have guessed. "How much did you tell him!"

"Everything..." Chloe didn't make eye contact. "Everything?" Clark said incredulously. "I thought you were one of my BEST friends!" It made it real, so hear it from Chloe.

"Clark, I am!" Chloe pleaded. Clark roughly released his grip on her, "No your not." Clark turned his back on her and started walking away, and she followed.

"No, Clark, wait! Listen, please! I didn't mean to!" She begged, as she touched his arm.

"You really don't want to touch me right now." Clark shrugged from her touch, "There is nothing you could possibly say! You betrayed me! You even told him about the meteor rocks! He could have killed me! You knew what you were doing when you told him!"

"Alright! I told him! I'm sorry, but I didn't think he was going to kill you!" Chloe said.

"Everyone knows what Van thinks of the meteor freaks! What did you think he was going to do, Chloe?" Clark said with eyes that shown with so much pain, Chloe actually regretted it now, "All he's done the past year is talk about how he wants revenge for his father's death!"

"Clark..." Chloe didn't have a defense, it was true. "No. But Chloe, I can't believe you hate me that much!"

"Clark... I don't hate you! I was just mad!" Chloe confessed. "Why? What did I do that was so bad you had to have someone kill me?" Clark said sarcastically.

"I didn't want you killed! I was mad because...you wouldn't tell me about your past! I was always there for you, and yet I couldn't be trusted! It's not fair, I deserved to know! Lana even knew. She doesn't even care about figuring out what you are, I do, Clark!" Chloe sounded mad.

"Don't even try and pin this on me! You couldn't wait a week for me to tell you, so you get back at me by telling Van about me, so he can kill me! I never knew you were such a bitch." Clark super speed away, he couldn't stand looking at her another second. He was afraid of what he might do.

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"Clark, did you find her?" Lana asked Clark. "Ya, I found Van too." Clark said smiling. "Van?" Lana didn't understand. "He is the one who shot me." Clark informed her. Lana never liked Van, but she never thought he was capable of something that evil. "What did you say?" Lana had no idea what she would do to someone who had almost succeeded in killing her.

Clark laughed, "He was checked into a mental hospital about an hour ago." "Why?" Lana asked, not liking how Clark was laughing. "did you do something?" Clark smiled thinking of how he messed with Van's mind, using his abilities, until Van finally broke and had a mental breakdown, "Don't worry, I didn't hurt him."

"Well what did you do?" Lana asked, not sure she wanted to know. Clark was acting so... "I made sure he wouldn't bother me again." Clark said defensively, "He tried to kill me Lana, so stop looking at me like that."

"I'm sorry... I know... I just..." Lana could understand, but she had never seen Clark like this before... revengeful, and happy about.

"Chloe told him, Lana. She even told him about the meteor rocks. She said she was angry because I would tell her about my past." Clark changed the subject.

"I can't believe she would do that just because-" Lana was cut off. "No. That isn't the real reason, well not all of it. There is more, believe me." Clark was quiet for a few seconds before he continued, "Lana, you know what this means, right?"

Lana shook her head no. "Chloe knows my secret, and she told, she can't be trusted. I have to make sure she won't ever tell anyone else." Clark had obviously been through this type of thing before.

"Clark, what are you thinking?" Lana asked, feeling nervous. "I'm not sure yet..." Clark looked like he was deep in thought.

"Clark, I'm sure she won't. I don't think you have to worry about it." Lana seriously didn't like the look of hatred she saw on Clark's face, and what would come of it.

"No... once someone tells, they can't be trusted, Lana." Clark stood up. "But I'm not going to think about this now."

Clark gave Lana a kiss, and she broke it, "I better get going, Clark." She didn't want to be around him right now.

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"Hey, Lana. Where were you?" Jonathan said pleasantly, as he saw his

daughter enter the house. "I was with Clark." Lana noticed her father's expression at the mention of his name, and it surprised her. Ever since Clark had been shot, he didn't seem to mind her hanging around with him, "He found out who shot him."

"Really?" Jonathan said interested, so he dropped any comments about Clark, "Who was it?"

"Chloe's friend, Van Knolty." Lana said so angry at him for what he did to Clark. "Chloes' friend?" Martha said, overhearing.

"Ya, Chloe told him about Clark... his secrets... his weakness." Lana really never thought Chloe could be that cruel.

"Chloe what? I've know n her for years, I don't think she would do something like that." Jonathan said, looking at Martha, who was thinking the same thing.

"She did it." Lana said coldly, "And I don't even think she regrets it." Lana dropped her purse on the couch.

"Why would she do something like that?" Martha asked. "I have no idea. But Clark said that she was angry with him, for not telling her about the ship, or something. He thinks its more than that, and so do I. I just don't know what." Lana wished she knew the answers, "You think you know a person, and one day you see a part of them, and it makes you realize what they are truly capable of." Lana was thinking about both Clark and Chloe.

"What is going to happen to Van? Clark can't tell the police that he was shot." Jonathan said.

"He is..." Lana didn't want Jonathan to think badly of Clark, but he was going to find out sooner or later, "Van is in a mental hospital. He lost it."

"What happened to him?" Martha asked. "Well... I'm not sure... Clark talked to him and... I donno." Lana didn't care to find out the details either.

"Clark drove him crazy?" Jonathan's newfound faith in Clark was all too quickly being lost.

"I'm not sure... but I think so. He was so mad..." Lana was mainly talking to herself.

"I told you he is dangerous Lana." Jonathan warned. Lana felt the need to defend Clark, he was after all, her boyfriend, "What would you do if you were Clark and had to face the person who tried to kill you? If you were that powerful... and you found out one of your best friends was a key in it all?"

"I honestly don't know Lana, but Clark has a bad temper and he can't control it, with everything he can do, you have to be careful." Jonathan remembered how Clark had blown up in his father over practically nothing.

"He would never do anything to me." Lana was 100 percent confident of that. "Maybe not you." Was all Jonathan said before he walked away, not wanting to start a fight with his daughter.

Lana thought of Chloe.

&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&

"Lana, wait." Clark jogged to catch up with Lana, "I'm sorry about

yesterday, I didn't' mean to freak you out." Clark said, and Lana felt

better once she looked into his apologetic eyes.

"I wasn't freaked out, I just... I guess I had just never seen you like that, you know? It was kind of scary." Lana confessed.

"I know, I was just so mad and everything." Clark responded. "I know... I'm not sure what I would have done in your place either." Lana had told it to herself over and over.

"Lana, please... I don't want you to think of me like that... the way you looked at me yesterday. I'm really sorry." Clark never thought Lana could look at him with fear in her eyes.

"Clark, you don't have to apologize." But it made Lana feel better. The school bell rang just before Clark began to speak, "Lana, do you want to come over later?"

"Um... sure." Lana smiled, feeling confident of the good person Clark was. "Great. Oh and could you tell your dad I'm sorry." Clark kissed her on the cheek before dashing off to his next class.

Lana didn't even have time to ask Clark why he was apologizing, or wanted her to apologize for.

&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&

"Hi mom." Lana greeted her mother.

"Hey Lana, how was school?" Martha said as she pulled out some muffins from the oven. "It was alright." Lana sat down at the counter, "Hey is dad outside? I wanted to talk to him."

"Ya, he is fixing the tractor." Martha said grimly. "It broke again?" Lana had been increasingly concerned about their financial state, "How bad off are we, mom?"

"Lana, don't worry. We've been threw worse time than this, and we always get by." Martha forced a smile.

Lana headed outside and found Jonathan getting up, out form under the tractor, with dirt smeared across one cheek, and she laughed, "Dad, you got a lil' something right under your eye... ya, you got it." Lana said as he wiped it away.

"Thanks." Jonathan said, happy to his daughter laughing for the first time since the whole Clark issue had come up.

"Dad, um... Clark wanted me to tell you he is sorry. I'm not sure what about but... ya." Lana shrugged her shoulders, feeling a little stupid.

Jonathan thought it was cowardly that Clark didn't have the guts to do it himself, "alright."

"So..." Lana said cocking an eye brow. "So?" Jonathan didn't know what she was expecting.

"Why was he apologizing?" Lana asked. "Yesterday he got... kind of angry." Jonathan said remembering the things Clark had said, "Lana, Clark doesn't believe what you and your mother told him about... what happened when we found him."

"I know." Lana sighed, "I even tried to get him to see, but... he believes what his father told him and no one expect his father can change that." Lana said taking a seat on the tractor.

"And you believe your father." Jonathan couldn't really blame Cark, he guessed. IT was what he grew up with, what he knew. He trusted Lionel.

"Ya. But I don't want to push him on it... it's his dad, and he thinks the world of him. He has always been there for him, but ah! I just get so frustrated." Lana confessed, "Maybe Lionel will tell him the real version of the story some day, because I'm convinced that is the only way Clark will believe it."

"That isn't going to happen, Lana." Jonathan said in a fatherly tone, "I know you think he is a good person, but people can't help but be influenced by what they were taught to know. Clark has been surrounded with betrayal, lies, and... just look at Lex... that boy is so tangled up in drugs, alcohol, and sex, he thinks it's normal."

"Clark isn't like Lex." Lana pointed out. "Not yet... Lana, I'm not saying you should completely stop being friends with him, but I think I'd be a good idea if you two didn't spend as much time together." Jonathan was trying to be very calm and understanding about this, but it didn't change the fact that he didn't want his daughter connected with the Luther in any way.

"Dad..." Lana looked at her father with guilty eyes, "We're dating now."

Jonathan just looked down, trying not to be angry, "Lana... please listen to me, I've been around longer and I've seen what happens to people and-"

"Dad, I know you think Clark is going to hurt me, but he won't. Trust my decisions. Clark is... he is always there for me, and he has such a good heart and-" "and a nasty temper." Jonathan added.

"I know, and I've thought about it. No one is perfect, we all have our flaws. Dad, you even prove my point more, if Clark had to grow up with all that... that stuff, and he is still a good person, isn't that like the ultimate test?" Lana had prepared this speech, and she admired Clark for giving her these true words.

"Lana..." Jonathan just shook his head. "Dad, Please... I want you to be happy for me... even if you don't like Clark." Lana's eyes pleaded with him.

"Alright Lana." Jonathan said with a sigh, "Because I love you." Lana gave her dad a hug, "Thanks dad... you don't know how happy I am to hear that."

&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&

Clark was positioned over Lana, on the couch, as he continued to kiss down her neck, just before returning to her mouth. Lana parted her lips, to allow Clark's tongue to slip into her mouth, as their kiss became more passionate. Clark massaged her neck and chin as he kissed her bottom lip. Clark moved his other arm around Lana's waist and around her back, pulling her closer to him, as he rubbed the small of her back.

Clark tried to catch himself, but wasn't quick enough and he fell off the couch, bringing Lana with him.

"Sorry." Clark said with a laugh. Lana started laughing, as she propped herself up off of Clark with one arm.

Lana gasped, "Clark! Oh, I have to go! I didn't know it was so late."

Clark kissed Lana, "10 more minutes." he murmured as he kissed down her neck, close to her collar bone.

"Clark, I can't. I can't get into any more trouble." Lana said gently pushing Clark away.

"Alright." Clark gave her a quick kiss before he said it. Lana went over to the table and grabbed her purse and sweater, "I'll see you at school tomorrow, Clark." She smiled.

"Bye Lana." Clark grinned. She gave him one last short kiss, and flashed him a smile, before leaving.

&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&

As Lana was driving back to her house, she couldn't think of anything

else except Clark. The way he made her feel; it was so incredible. When

she was with him, she felt like she couldn't control her action. Clark

brought her to a place where there were no problems, and she was

completely happy.

Lana sighed with relief as she walked into her house 5 minutes

before curfew.

"Lana, I'm so glad you are home on time." Martha smiled, happy because

she knew fight between her daughter and husband was avoided.

"Ya, just in time." Lana gave her mom a knowingly smile, before she

went upstairs, and got ready for bed.

TBC

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Okay thanks so much for all your feedback, I REALLY REALLY appreciate it. Sorry about the weird formatting and not using to separate scenes. I had them originally but somehow I lost them along the way. I try but they disappear in the transfer EVERY time. So I put the &-&-&-& instead. Weird I know. sorry! I hope it's fixed now.


	16. Accident

**3 weeks later**

"I can't believe it's snowing already!" Lana pouted, "I'm not ready for winter!" "Already?" Clark laughed, "It's mid January, we're lucky we haven't had it earlier."  
"I know, I know! But I don't like snow!" Lana whined, as she looked out of the car, at the 3 inches of snow on the ground, as it kept snowing.  
"It's not that bad." Clark said, stopping in front of the mansion gates, and punching in the security code.  
"Ya, not for you! You can't even feel the cold." Lana pointed out. "It can be fun." Clark said as they both got out of his car.  
"What are smiling about?" Lana laughed, then she saw the snowball in his hand, "Clark no! Don't you dare throw that at me!" Lana ducked behind the car, "I'm serious."  
Clark started laughing, "Come on, you aren't seriously afraid of a little snow are you?" He tossed the snowball at her, and it barely tapped her.  
"Clark!" Lana gasped as she brushed the cold snow off her neck. "You are so dead!" Clark was laughing when Lana tackled him to the ground, and started white washing him.  
"Apologized!" Lana laughed, as she was on top of Clark pinning him down.  
"Alright. I'm sorry." Clark said, "I give up." Lana smiled with satisfaction, "Good" She said as she got off of him.  
Lana and Clark walked towards the mansion's front door, and as they walked under a tree, a giant clump of snow fell on them.  
"Cold! Cold! Cold!" Lana shrieked brushing the snow off. "Stop laughing Clark!" Lana elbowed Clark, silencing his laughter.  
"Sorry... but you REALLY don't like snow, do you?" Clark teased. "No!" Lana said stomping her shoes outside the door, before going in. "I'm so cold."  
Clark hugged Lana from behind, "I'll warm you up." He teased, "There is a fireplace upstairs." Clark lead her to the huge fireplace, it was so big they could have both walked in it.  
"Wow..." Lana was impressed, she had been at Clark's house at least a hundred times, and briefly glanced at it before, but now that is was lit, it was so beautiful.  
Clark dumped his wet coat, and shirt in front of it, leaving him in jeans and a wife beater.  
Lana followed his action, and placed her coat and sweater down. Her tank top was also wet, but she wasn't going to take it off, and sat down, hoping it would dry quickly.  
"I'm going to go find something to eat." Clark sped off, returning 15 minutes later with a pizza box.  
"Ya!" A now dry Lana said, as Clark handed it to her. "Smells good."  
"You like mushrooms, right?" Clark said, sitting down next to her, by the fire. "Ya." Lana said taking a bite out of pizza.  
Clark pulled her into his embrace, as she sat between his spread out legs, her back resting against his chest, "What do you want to do this weekend?"  
"I don't care." Lana said, enjoying the feel of Clark's arms around her, and the warmth of the fire and his body against hers.  
"Since it's snowing... we could go skiing or something." Clark suggested.

"I've never been skiing, besides Smallville doesn't have any good mountains." Lana said.  
"My dad owns cabins everywhere, we could go wherever, and I could teach you, I've been skiing since I was 5." Clark informed her.  
"Alright, but I doubt my parents would let me go." Lana pointed out. "Why not?" Clark asked.  
"Um... hello!" Lana teased, "You think they would let me go away with your for a weekend, in a cabin by ourselves?"  
"Right..." Clark laughed at himself, "What do they think we are going to do?" Clark smiled.  
"gee, I wonder." Lana said before Clark started kissing her. Clark slipped his tongue into her mouth, as he pushed her hair behind her shoulder, giving him access to her neck, and moved down, kissing her jaw line. Clark returned to her mouth, as he placed one hand on her thigh, gently rubbing it. Clark kissed her neck, long enough to leave a red mark before he wrapped an arm around Lana's back, as he rolled over, gently placing her against the floor, positioning his upper body on top of hers. Clark moaned into her mouth as one of his hands played with the bottom of her tank top, and the other moved to her hip. Clark kissed down her neck, lower and lower, until he started kissing down the small valley between her breasts, while one hand slipped under her tank top, caressing her stomach, before sliding up high enough to cup her right breast though her bra. He moved so he was almost completely on top of her, and started moving his hips against hers.  
"Clark." Lana whispered, and when Clark continued, a little louder, "Clark." "Alright, I'm stopping." He removed his hand from under her shirt, simultaneously as his cell phone rang. Clark reluctantly moved off Lana and reached into his pocket, grabbing his phone and answering it, "Hello?"  
Lana was thankful for the distraction, and she pulled her tank top back down all the way, and sat up. "Ya, I was kind of busy." Clark sounded annoyed. "Ya, so what... it doesn't even matter! Since when do you care? Ah..." Clark groaned, as Lana listened to the one sided conversation, "Are you serious? I've always done- no! That is so fucked up! I'll say whatever I want... you're not even here! How would you ground me? No! Don't come here! Whatever! I'm not going to... screw you!" Clark hung up the phone.  
"What was that?" Lana asked. "My dad. He is all pissed off because I haven't been going to school." Clark said, "He is actually trying to ground me, and come here to make sure I don't go out."  
Lana was a little surprised, for as long as she had known Clark, he could do whatever he wanted, as long as it wasn't a public scandal. She didn't know if he would be into drugs and alcohol, if it had any affect on him. Lionel never even seemed to be in Smallville, not lately. She could understand Lionel's point of view though, Clark had not been attending half his classes lately, and sometimes didn't come at all, but Clark had never been grounded before.  
"He acts like it is such a big deal! Who cares! We both know I'm going to pass the grade no matter what. He is pissing me off so much." Clark complained.  
Lana hated when Clark got like this, he got in these angry moods, usually set off when Lionel denied him something or enforced something Clark didn't like, and he acted as spoiled as he was.  
"Clark, you are just grounded, it's not that big of a deal." Lana told him. "I don't care if he is just grounding me, it's stupid!" Clark said, pissed off.  
Lana was glad to see Lionel actually setting some bounds for Clark, "Clark, this is exactly what I was talking about. You get really mad over little things, and you have to stop it." Lana said softly, rubbing his arm.  
Clark sighed, "I know... I just..." Lana was glad he calmed down. This was happening more frequently, "Why does this bug you so much? Clark... I'm not trying to make you mad or take sides, but you know you keep skipping class." Lana wanted to see if he got angry before she said anymore.  
"I don't know." Clark said frustrated. His elbows rested on his knees, and his hands were pulling his hair, "It's not how it is with us..."  
Lana didn't think she would ever understand Clark and Lionel's relationship, not completely. It seemed to her like Lionel let Clark do whatever, as long as Clark opened up to him, confided in him. Lana didn't like Lionel, but she couldn't deny how much he loved Clark, "How are things with you guys?" Lana jumped at the opportunity for Clark to open up about his family relationships.  
"I donno... he never gets mad at me... not for stuff I do in school or anything like that." Clark said, feeling stupid.  
"Clark, it's normal." Lana smiled. "Not for us." Clark looked her straight in the eyes, "That's how he is with Lex." Lana thought she was beginning to see, "Clark, he isn't going to treat you like Lex." Even she could tell how horrible Lionel and Lex's relationship was.  
"I don't know why he hates him so much... they never say anything, but I swear something happened... and he stopped loving him." Clark confessed his suspicions. "Clark, I'm sure your dad loves Lex-" "No, Lana. I seriously think he doesn't... my mom knew, too." Clark said almost to himself.  
Lana was thrown off track a little bit. Clark had never, since the day she met him, said anything about his mother. All she knew was his Mother had died of cancer when Clark was 11, and she had never sensed it was a painful subject for him, so she never said anything, "Your mom knew what?"  
"Nothing. I'm being stupid. Sorry I got pissed, Lana." Clark stood up. "No, Clark. It's not stupid... you need to talk about these things." Lana ushered him to sit back down.  
"Lana, I don't need to talk about anything." Clark rolled his eyes. Lana sighed, he was obviously not going to open up.  
"What's wrong?" Clark's eyes grew softer. Lana didn't know why, but she wanted Clark to trust her, open up to her about his past, which she knew so little about, "Why don't you ever talk about your mother?"  
Lana saw pain flash in Clark's eyes and quickly fade, "She's dead. What's there to say?"  
"Clark... you know what I mean... you must miss her." Lana took his hand in hers. Clark hesitated before answering, "Only for Lex."  
"Huh?" Lana didn't understand. "Lex needs her, needs her to love him. I used to miss her. But now I don't miss her, not really." Clark confessed, realizing how cold hearted he must sound.  
"Why not?" Lana couldn't help but ask. "She never loved me, she pretended to, so I wouldn't feel bad, but I always knew. I heard my share of my parents' fights. She thought I stood in the way of his relationship with Lex... and I guess it's true, but there was still something more. Well I can't blame her, not really. She never wanted me, not another child, especially a freak like me. But I loved her, because she treated me like her own son, even if she didn't love me that way." Clark finally let it out; to the one person he trusted most.  
"Clark..." Lana never knew; she felt so bad for him. She instinctively hugged him, "I'm sorry."

&&&&&&&&&&&

"Lana, where were you?" Jonathan asked.  
"Clark's house." Lana said. "Lana, you are over there all the time, I don't like it." Jonathan hated the fact that she was now dating a Luther; he was doing everything in his power to fight the urge to forbid it. "Okay," Lana didn't know what else to say. "I'm serious; you need to cool it down. Stop spending everyday with him." Jonathan said.  
"Okay." Lana said just to make her dad happy.

&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
"Ah! You came!" Lana teased Clark. "Miracles do happen." "You're so funny." Clark rolled his eyes, "My dad came back, so I was forced to come to school." Clark wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked down the hallway.  
"I thought you'd be happy he came home." Lana thought of how much they fought while they were in different states.  
"It has its ups and downs." Clark smiled, he was happy even with the circumstances he came home for.  
"Are you still grounded?" Lana asked. "Nope. We made a deal, I can go where ever I want as long as I go to school, I'm grounded the first class I skip... And I feel like spending some time with my girlfriend." Clark smiled, as he leaned down and kissed her. Lana felt herself blushed as people stared at them. Of course, people were always staring at Clark but still...  
"What'd you have in mind?" Lana smiled. Clark always had to be doing something. "We haven't been to a movie in a while, or we could go dancing." Clark said as they walked into the first class of the day, they had the same English class.  
"Oh, I want to go dancing!" Lana found herself excited at his suggestion. "Alright then." Clark found her excitement infectious.  
Clark and Lana took a seat next to each other in the back. Clark started kissing her neck, "Clark stop. Not in class."  
"Class hasn't started yet." Clark chuckled. "Clark." Lana gave him a glare, and he stopped.

&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
"Have you found out were she went?" Lana asked Clark as they walked past  
the torch, on the way to lunch. "Not yet. But I'll find her." Clark said. "I still can't believe her and her dad just left Smallville and didn't say anything to anyone." Lana said.  
"Ya." Clark said coldly. Lana knew Clark didn't like talking about Chloe. He felt ashamed, like it made him weak, because he had trusted her and not right in doing so. Lana decided to change the subject,  
"My dad told me to stop spending so much time with you." Lana relayed. "Doesn't surprise me; I thought he got over hating me though." Clark said with a tone Lana didn't like.  
"And I thought you did too." Lana said. "I don't hate your dad... I just... you know what he did." Clark said.  
"Clark, that isn't what happened. Lionel made that up." Lana defended her father. "My dad doesn't lie to me." Clark said defensively.  
"Clark, I thought we agreed to drop this subject 2 weeks ago." Lana knew this was going no where except a fight.  
"You're right." Clark said, kissing Lana on the cheek, "So I was thinking I could pick you up around 8 tonight."  
"Okay, but I have to be home by curfew, my dad is just looking for a reason to ground me from seeing you." Lana said, putting her arm around Clark's waist, in the back, as she leaned on him, while they continued walking.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

"This is crazy; there must be 2 inches of ice on the road." Clark said, as she struggled to keep his Ferrari in the right lane.  
"Clark, I think we should just go back. It's too dangerous." Lana said as Clark started to slide around the road.  
"I think you're right." Clark said trying to pull off the road onto the shoulder, so he could turn around.  
"Clark!" Lana said as the car began slipping towards the edge of road, dangerously close to the fence, the only thing between them and a 200 foot drop. It had been raining all day, with a little bit of thunder and lightning flaring up in the past 20 minutes.  
"It's okay, I got it." Clark said getting the car under control. "It's so foggy... what is with this weather."  
"I don't know. But be careful turning around." Lana was tensed up. "Don't worry, I'd save you Lana." Clark got a chuckle out of Lana, as she began to relax.  
"Clark, look in front of us about 50 feet." Lana said. "Oh shit!" Clark said opening his door and getting out, once he spotted a car which had driven through the fence, the tip of it hanging over the ledge. Clark was sure the car was secure, but he had to see if anyone was hurt inside.  
Lana got out of the car too, into the chilly air. "Clark what's wrong?" Lana asked looked over at Clark.  
"There are meteor rocks around here." Clark could mildly feel their effects. "Clark, I think that is Todd's car!" Lana realized.  
Todd was their only meteor infected friend. They had known him about 6 months, first meeting him through Chloe who had discovered his unique ability to see a person's future, if they continued on that same path, but it changed often. Todd could also see into the past. He was forced to reveal his abilities to Chloe as he brushed past her one day, his ability showed him Chloe was going to be caught up in a fire, and he had to warn her. Clark's heart sunk as he too realized it was his friend.  
"I have to help him, Lana." Clark continued towards the car. "Clark, what about the meteor rocks?" Lana said concerned. "It's okay, I can stand them, long enough to get him out." Clark said 10 feet from Todd's car.  
"Clark, I'll help you." Lana said. "No, look at that." Clark pointed to a gasoline leak.  
"Clark..." Lana was so worried. "Stay away from the car, Lana. I don't want you near it incase it explodes." Clark said forcefully slowly stepping nearer to the car, the meteors' affect was stronger with each step.  
"Clark." Lana stepped towards him, as she saw how weak he looked. "Get away from the car!" Clark yelled, and Lana stepped back, watching him, as he opened Todd's smashed in door. Todd fell out, with a deep gash above his head, unconscious.  
Between the meteor rocks, the ice, and how suddenly Todd fell into him, Clark lost his balance, and Todd's lower body was hanging off the ledge. Clark felt so weak, and the smell of gasoline was increasing quickly. He knew he had to get himself and Todd out of there quick, but his body was so weak  
Clark pulled Todd up by his arms, but weakness overtook him and Todd slipped back down the ledge another 2 feet, so only his arms and head were on ground. Clark was using all his strength just keeping Todd from falling, he didn't know how he was going to lift him up, and he was only getting weaker, and he found himself slipping on the ice, as he heard Lana scream out his name, "Stay back Lana!" He yelled as loud as he could.  
Lana watched as Clark regained his balance. The thunder was so loud, Lana could barely hear him. It all happened so quick, Lana barely had time to register what happened.  
A bolt of lighting struck Clark, as he cried out in pain, and hit part of the car, igniting the spilled gasoline, as the car exploded.  
"CLARK!" Lana screamed.

&

&

&

TBC

Thanx for all your replies!


	17. Reality

Clark woke with pressure on the back of his head and behind his eyes; his vision was blurry as he sat up in bed.  
"Ah." Clark groaned from the pain, which he wasn't used to. His vision was slowly clearing up, just enough for Clark to see he was in a small bedroom, and it looked familiar to him, but different.  
Clark recognized the room as Lana's when he saw the big window. But it wasn't Lana's room... all her stuff was gone and it looked like a boy's room. The pain in Clark's head was slowly dissipating, as his vision returned to normal.  
Clark lied back on the bed, waiting until the throbbing in his head completely stopped. "Shit." Clark said, not knowing how he got here. The last thing he remembered was the horrible pain pulsing through his body, as he was struck by lightning and the car exploded, and he remembered letting go of Todd's hand.  
Clark was almost positive Todd was dead, but he had to find out, and that wasn't going to happen sitting here in this room.  
Clark opened the door, but stopped before going out as he saw a picture of him. He was wearing plaid, and a tan jacket. Clark laughed and thought to himself, 'Where did Lana get this? I would never ever where that.'  
Clark walked out the door, and just as he thought it was Lana's house, but it was decorated different. Clark didn't really care about that right now, as he leaped down the stairs and found Martha and Jonathan in the kitchen talking, and smiled at him as they caught sight of him.  
"Good Morning, Clark." Martha smiled. "You're sure up early." Jonathan said.  
Clark didn't know how to react, why where they being nice to him? Why was he here? Clark looked at the clock on the wall and it read 4:30am. 'whoa, I am up early. I can't remember the last time I woke up this early. Usually I would be going to bed right now.'  
"Where is Lana?" Clark felt so awkward.

"How would we know?" Jonathan gave Clark a smile and cocked one eyebrow.  
"Um... she's your daughter. How did I get here?" Clark asked. Martha gave him a weird look, as Jonathan walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.  
"You feeling alright, son?" Jonathan laughed. Clark immediately shrugged Jonathan's hand off of him, "Don't touch me." Clark definitely didn't like how Jonathan was being so friendly, and he hated being called 'son', or 'lad', or any other nickname old people liked to call teenage boys.  
"Clark, what's wrong with you?" Martha said, looking at Jonathan, who had a hurt look on his face.  
"What's wrong with you guys!" Clark said defensively. Martha and Jonathan looked at each other, as if saying something, a trick you could only do after years of marriage.  
"Clark, are you hungry?" Martha said, apparently dropping their current subject. "I'll make breakfast while you do your chores."  
Clark laughed, "Chores? I don't do chores." Clark had people to do everything for him all his life, just the thought of him doing chores made him laugh. Luthors didn't do chores.  
"You're sure your feeling alright, son?" Jonathan asked, not knowing where Clark's new attitude was coming from.  
"Stop calling me that." Clark said coldly.

"Calling you what? Son?" Jonathan asked.

"Yes!" Clark said giving him a dirty look.  
"Well you are my son." Jonathan was so confused.

"No I'm not. You are so twisted." Clark said.  
"Clark." Jonathan said with authority, "You don't talk to me like that."

"I'll talk to you however I want. Stay away from me, you freaks." Clark headed towards the door and ran out of the house.  
"What was that?" Martha asked concerned. "I don't know, but I don't like it. He's acting like he's on Red Kryptonite." Jonathan told his wife.  
"You don't think he is..." Martha said. "I don't know. I'm finding out tonight though." Jonathan said firmly.

&&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Clark was out on the streets of Smallville, happy to see some familiar sights. He suddenly realized he was wearing the ugliest red plaid shirt he had ever seen. Clark ripped it off, disgusted. He would rather not wear a shirt at all, than wear that.  
Clark looked for the Beanery, he had to find Lana and see if Todd was alive. But where the beanery used to be, was now something called 'The Talon'. Clark walked in anyways, and found it was also a coffee shop. Clark spotted Lana in an apron, carrying a tray of coffee cups, as she gave them out to a table.  
"Lana!" Clark called as he met her.

"Clark?" Lana gave him a weird look.

"What?" Clark asked.  
"Um... why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Lana asked awkwardly. Clark was surprised that she even cared; she had seen him plenty of times without a shirt on,

"You would understand if you saw what I was wearing." Clark laughed.  
"Okay, Clark..." Lana said giving him a confused look before walking away from him, as she began to make a latte.  
"Lana, Todd's dead, isn't he?" Clark got right to the point.

"Clark, I don't even know anyone named Todd." Clark had her attention at the mention of death.  
"Lana, come on. Todd... our friend? Yesterday in the accident..." Clark hoped to trigger something.  
"Clark, listen, I'm really busy. I have to get these orders out, I don't have time for games." Lana said annoyed.  
"Your coffee can wait." Clark said angry, "What's going on? What are you hiding? What happened yesterday?" Clark didn't like how he was being left in the dark, and Lana, and her parents seemed to know everything.  
Lana was surprised by Clark's sudden anger, "Clark, I don't know what you are talking about. I'm not hiding anything, and if you want to start excusing people of hiding things, I suggest you start with yourself."  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Clark asked, pissed at her tone.

"You know what it means." Lana couldn't believe Clark was playing dumb.  
"I've never hidden anything from you." Clark said seriously, Lana had never acted this way towards him.  
"Alright, Clark." Lana said sarcastically, turning around, continuing making her orders.  
"Lana, why are you being such a bitch to me? I'm your boyfriend." Clark grabbed her wrist, preventing her from pouring coffee.  
Lana was so angry, Clark had just called her a bitch, and after everything he had done to her. She had never even heard him use that word before. Did he just say he was her boyfriend?  
"Let go of me." Lana shrugged out of Clark's grip, "I'm not your girlfriend! How dare you call me that!" Lana stormed into the back. Clark followed her,  
"Are you breaking up with me?" Clark said angry.  
"Clark, you broke up with me 5 months ago!" Lana said, containing tears.

"Lana, I would never do that." Clark shook his head, "I love you." He cupped her face with one hand.  
Lana started crying, "Why are you doing this?"

"Lana, I don't know what's happening... I didn't break up with you... something is wrong." Clark looked at Lana crying, and wiped her cheek, "I woke up in your house this morning and it was all different... and Jonathan was acting so weird... saying I was his son." Clark wanted Lana to understand.  
"Clark, stop it." She pushed his hand off her cheek, "You did break up with me. You are Jonathan's son. Just stop it." Lana tried pushing past him.  
"No." Clark stepped in front of her. "Lana, I swear. Don't you trust me?"

"Why would I trust you? I don't even know who you really are." Lana shoved past Clark. "Just leave me alone Clark."

&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Clark was so mad and confused. 'What the hell is going on?' He thought. "Clark!" A black boy, who looked around his age, ran up to him, "I ran into Chloe earlier, and she wants to know why you were a no show."  
"Do I know you?" Clark raised an eyebrow, "Tell Chloe she will stay out of my life if she knows what's good for her."  
"Whoa... what's that all about?" The boy said.

"Who are you?" Clark asked.  
"It's Pete, your best friend." Pete said, "Are you feeling alright, man?"

"I've never seen you before." Clark was so sick of strangers trying to befriend him just for his last name, and the money that came along with it, "Now get out of my face."  
"Clark, what's going on?" Pete was hurt.

"I don't know, I have to find my dad." Clark said to himself.

"Your dad called me, asking if you were on Red Kryptonite." Pete asked, now considering it.  
"I don't even know what that is." Clark said.

"Red meteor rocks." Pete rephrased it.  
Clark had never heard of them before, "No. How does my dad know about them, and how did you talk to him?" Maybe he wasn't some stranger. 'Maybe I was in a coma for a year or something, and now I don't remember anything.' Clark thought half seriously.  
"I went by your farm, Jonathan called me after you stormed off." Pete explained. "Jonathan isn't my father! I don't live on a farm!" Clark burst out.  
"Dude, did you hit your head or something?" Pete said before he walked away. Clark wasn't sure what was happening to him, but it seemed like everyone else thought this was normal, except him. Clark understood how it felt to be crazy. 'I'm not crazy; isn't that what crazy people think?' Clark was so confused.  
Clark had tried talking to Lana, and that didn't help at all, so Clark decided to talk to the Kents, because he needed answers.

&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
"What is happening to me?" Clark asked. "Clark." Martha turned to her son, "I'm glad you came back; this morning you seemed so..."  
"What's going on, Son?" Jonathan said in a caring tone. "That's just it." Clark said too confused to fight, "I'm not your son. Everyone keeps saying I am."  
"Clark..." Martha didn't know what to say. Jonathan saw a difference this time, he wasn't saying it out of anger. "Is Jor-El... is something happening?"  
"Who's Jor-El?" Clark asked.

"Your biological father. Come on, Clark. You know all this." Jonathan said.  
"No, I don't! He's not my father, you're not my father!" Clark buried his face in his hands, frustrated.

"Then who is, Clark?" Martha said placing a comforting hand on his back. She decided to humor him.

"Lionel Luther. Lex is my brother. Lana is my girlfriend. You're her parents, not mine." Clark sighed.  
"Clark." Jonathan said sternly. This was past amusing to him, and now genuinely disturbing. "Why would you say something like that? Lionel Luther has brought nothing but problems for you."  
"No, he loves me. You are the one who hates me." Clark gave Jonathan a cold stare. "Clark, how can you say that? I've always loved you. You're my son." Jonathan looked so hurt.  
"Stop saying that! I'm not your son. This isn't real." Clark said frustrated, as he punched a hole in the wall.  
"Whoa! Calm down, Clark!" Jonathan said. Clark couldn't stand looking at him, because he could tell Jonathan wasn't lying to him, and that scared him. This wasn't real.  
"I have to find Lionel." Clark had always turned to him in the past with his problems. "Clark, no." Martha pleaded.  
"Please, Clark. I don't know what is going on with you right now, but you can't go to Lionel. The way you are acting... who knows what you might say... or do." Jonathan warned.  
Clark didn't listen, and super speeded to the mansion, to find none of his stuff was there. No one was even in the mansion, except a few workers.

&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Clark stopped when he saw Todd, "Todd!"

"Clark." Todd looked just as relived to see him as Clark was.  
"What's happening?" Clark asked, and Todd knew what Clark was referring to.

"I don't know...it's like some things are the same... but... you're a Kent, not a Luther, I saw Lana and... she didn't even know who I was, neither did Chloe." Todd said worried.  
"Ya." Clark was glad he found someone who didn't think everything was normal. "Something happened in the explosion, because I'm fine. I just woke up the this morning, and..." Todd pulled back his bangs, showing he had no trace of the gash he received in the crash. "Clark, I know it sounds crazy but..."  
"What?" Clark urged him to continue.

"My ability... it's gone." Todd said, looking more worried than relieved.  
"Why?" Clark asked, sensing there was more.

"I'm not sure, but I think that... it's like we are living it. Living the future, or something." Todd said pulling out his wallet. "Look, it says I'm 17."  
Clark saw that it did indeed say Todd was 17. "But how?"

"I think between the lighting and explosion, and my abilities we some how are like... living my ability." Todd didn't sound sure of himself.  
"Okay, say that is what happened... why am a Kent? Why doesn't Lana know who you are?" Clark asked.

"I don't know." Todd said, "But Clark, my ability doesn't always show the future. It can show a person's future, if they continue on that path; but I see a person's past as often as their future, usually it's a mix."  
"So you're saying I'm living my past and future?" Clark scoffed.

"Clark, I don't know! But the changes in my life... they all revolve around you. It's like I've never known you." Todd said.  
"It doesn't make sense. There are so many changes for me! I'm living a completely different life! Everyone thinks I'm a Kent!" Clark said frustrated.  
"Your living the life you would have if you were a Kent." Todd said unsure.

"No, that doesn't make any sense-" Clark stopped. Am I living the life I would have if the Kents adopted me, and not Lionel? "How is that possible though?"  
"I'm just as confused as you are, Clark. We are obviously living a future path, influenced by the past. Because in this reality we don't know each other, and you are no longer a Luther." Todd relayed his theory.  
"Well how do we get back to... to normal?" Clark asked.

"I don't know!" Todd wasn't crazy about this reality either. He was no longer on the football team, none of his old friend knew who he was, and his Dad didn't get the job Clark had worked out for him, so he was living in another state, after his parent's divorce.  
"You brought us here!" Clark accused.

"No I didn't! It was the explosion, or something! I wouldn't even know how!" Todd shot back, defensively.  
"Sorry." Clark said, not wanting to alienate the only other person who knew the truth.

"Let's just try and live our lives, normally. Maybe it will just take some time to play out, like in my visions. Once they start, I have no control over them and I just have to watch until they stop." Todd encouraged.  
"I can't live this life." Clark was sure of that.

"Try." Todd said, sick of having to give all the answers, when he wasn't sure of anything himself.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
Clark decided to take Todd's advice and try and live this life. It  
seemed horrible, Lana was so angry with him. Why would he have broken up  
with her? What did she think he was hiding from her? Jonathan and Martha  
probably thought he was going crazy. He didn't have any memories of this  
life, so how was he even supposed to live what was 'normal' in this  
reality?


	18. Clark Kent

Once Clark was up in his room, he started rummaging threw 'his' things, trying to get some hints from his past, come clues as how to act, what to do.  
  
Clark couldn't stand the flannel that seemed to be everywhere. He found a lot of pictures with him and 'his parents.' He seemed happy; they seemed like a real family. Clark started in on his desk. He couldn't help but laugh when he found an essay 'he' had written; saying he planned to be pursuing a career in Journalism in 5 years. 'That would never happen' He laughed, throwing it away. He found at the bottom of his desk drawer, a picture of Lana. She was smiling, but she seemed so sad. 'Wait... if the Kents adopted me, then what happened to Lana?' Clark wondered. Clark opened a notebook, finding homework assignments in it, he tossed it aside. Clark laughed though, he never did homework.  
  
After a while he found a picture of him and Chloe, Pete, Lana, and Lex. Clark sighed with relief when he saw the photo of him and Lex. It showed Lex knew him. But they weren't brothers, so how did they know each other? Clark really didn't care, he was just glad he had a link to his former life. Clark winced when he thought of his confrontation with Lana earlier; was that how he was with Lex? How could his relationship with Lana be so strained? Clark knew he was high maintenance, and had a history of blowing up over small things, but Lana had never strayed from him; she helped him work through it. Has she changed just as much as I have in this world?  
  
Clark was frustrated and gave up. Everything in this room, it told him close to nothing. He had to get actual answers. Clark didn't want to talk to Lana again until he knew a little bit about how he was supposed to act, what happened between them in the past. He definitely didn't want to ask Jonathan, and Martha would probably think he was crazy. He had no idea what to expect in the Lex department, so that was out. Todd was just as clueless as he was, so he was scratched off the list. 'There is no one else.' Clark thought.  
  
After a few minutes of just sitting there, Clark super sped to the storm  
cellar, he had to see if the spaceship was there. Clark was surprised to  
see it was in the exact spot he had first seen it, with a sheet over it.  
When he touched it and he had a memory... That was as close as Clark could  
describe it, because that's what it felt like.

&&&&&&&&&&&&=memory=&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Cut to Pete and Clark talking down in the storm cellar sometime after.  
  
Pete: So you're some sort of... what? You're not a human?  
  
Clark: I don't know what I am. I don't know where that ship brought me from. I just know that I grew up in Smallville, and everything that I care about and everyone that I care about is here.  
  
Pete: If you care about me so much, how come you never told me sooner?  
  
Clark: Pete, believe me, there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't want to tell you, but my parents thought it was too dangerous. Not just for me, but for anyone else who knew the truth.  
  
Pete: You didn't think I could handle it?  
  
Clark: Can you?  
  
Pete starts to walk around Clark slowly.  
  
Clark: Pete, another reason why I didn't say anything is because I knew people would look at me the exact same way that you're looking at me right now.  
  
Pete: And how's that?  
  
Clark: Like a freak. Pete, I've tried my whole life just to blend in, to try and be more normal than anyone else. Would you just say something? Call me... call me an alien, call me a monster. I don't care, just say something.  
  
Pete: It's like I don't even know you.  
  
Clark: Yes, you do know me. I'm the same kid that used to camp in your backyard. We used to ride our bikes in the woods; we used to play basketball with your brothers. Nothing has changed.  
  
Pete: Yeah, right.

&&&&&&&&&&&&=end memory=&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Clark felt all the emotion that went along with the vivid memory. "Whoa" Clark thought. Clark now knew who he had to talk to; to find out the missing information in his life. He didn't even have time to think about why he had the 'memory'.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
"Pete." Clark said seeing his apparent 'best friend' walk out onto Smallville's main street.  
"Hey, Clark." Pete cocked his eyebrow, "I guess your feeling better, since you actually know who I am."  
"That is what I need to talk to you about." Clark said.

"Um... alright." Pete said, sensing Clark was desperate.  
"I'll meet you in the loft in an hour; I have to pick up something for my mom." Pete said, getting into his car.  
"The loft?" Clark didn't know what that was.

"Your barn, Clark." Pete said shaking his head, as he drove off.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Clark had been waiting up in the 'loft' for about an hour. This was never here when Lana lived here, in real life. Clark noted that the loft would provide more answers than his bedroom ever could. He must have spent hours there every day.  
"Okay, Clark. What's up?" Pete said jogging up the flight of stairs.

"Pete, you are my best friend?" Clark said.

"Yeah..." Pete didn't like how he said it as more a question than a fact.  
"And I've told you my... secret." Clark had to be sure first. "Yeah, I know about your abilities." Pete said laughing uncomfortably.

"Okay." Clark let out a sigh, "This is going to sound totally crazy, but ... I'm not Clark Kent."  
"Huh?" Pete had no idea what Clark was talking about.

"I was in an accident... and I was forced into this world. I'm not really a Kent, I'm a Luthor." Clark said trying to explain, what he barely understood.  
"Sure Clark." Pete said thinking it had something to do with how close Lex and him where.  
"I'm serious. I was struck by lighting and I woke up in this reality where the Kents adopted me, instead of Lionel. I'm telling you this because I have no memory of this life, and I want you to help me." Clark said in an irritated tone.  
"Clark... what are you trying to pull?" Pete thought it was some kind of practical joke, Clark wasn't the prank type, but there is a first for everything.  
"Listen to me damnit! I'm not making this up! Do I even seem like the stupid farm boy you know?" Clark had labeled this version of himself as a farm boy.  
Pete had to admit, that Clark seemed different. It was more than a mood swing, it was everything about him. He seemed so confident, and even the way he talked, worded things, it was all different, "So maybe you seem different."  
"I am! And I don't know how to get out of this... glimpse of the past...future... the future I would have had if the past was changed. My friend said that if I just lived it out, that it would stop...maybe." Clark had to hope.  
"Well what do you want me to do?" Pete believed him more with every word he said, every gesture that was out of character for the Clark he had known his whole life.  
"Tell me what I'm supposed to do." Clark said, as if it was obvious.

"What are you talking about?" Pete said.  
"Tell me how I live... what I do in the morning, what classes I have, why Lana hates me... you know!" Clark said frustrated.  
"Oh." Pete said shyly. This Clark made him seem so inferior and well... stupid. "I'll try. What do you want to know?"  
Clark didn't even have to think about his first question, "Why is Lana mad at me? Why does she think I broke up with her?"  
"Clark... you and Lana... it's complicated." Pete sighed, Clark had to pick the hardest thing to explain.  
It took Pete a full 45 minutes to just explain Clark and Lana's relationship to this new Clark. He told him about how they had first started their friendship, and all the times Clark attempted to make it more than that, but screwed it up. Then he told him about how they had finally connected before Lex's wedding. Clark wanted to say something about his brother getting married, but didn't interrupt. Pete explained how, under the influence of Red Kryptonite, Clark had terrorized Metropolis and left Lana. He went on to explain how when he got back, Clark broke up with Lana because he couldn't stand to hurt her again. Then it go worse, because Clark was convinced that him just being around Lana was too dangerous, because of what happened with Lex causing Lana to break her leg. When Clark finally thought he really could date Lana, Adam came into the picture. Pete even went above and beyond, telling Clark about a meteor infected Seth, who used his abilities to make Lana fall in love with him. Pete thought that as long as he was telling Clark about his own love life, which he found very uncomfortable at times, he might as well tell Clark all about Chloe's feelings for her, and how he had taken her to the Spring Formal. Clark almost laughed at the thought of Chloe having romantic feelings for him.  
"Clark, I have to go. But here is your class schedule." Pete really just didn't like being around_ this_ Clark anymore. He was sick of being put down whenever he said something negative against Lionel.   
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Clark walked threw the familiar halls of Smallville High. But it was so different now; no one paid any attention to him, except for the occasional comment to him about plaid, or him being a farm boy. Clark didn't like being treated like this at all; being a Luther meant all eyes where on you, and he wasn't used to this lack off attention, or respect. If anyone had even dared to make a joke about, they were really sorry for it.  
A jock came down the hall, knocking Clark's books to the floor, purposely, and saying, "Get the hell out of my way, freak." He turned around as the rest of his friends laughed. Clark had, had enough.  
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Clark said, grabbing a shoulder, forcing him to turn around.  
The Jock looked at Clark and pushed him square in the chest, "Who do you think you are, Kent?"  
Clark shoved him back, "Don't touch me, asshole!"

"Do you want me to smash your face in, Kent?" The jock threatened.  
"I'd like to see you try." Clark challenged. By now there was a small crowd, watching the scene.  
The Jock swung at Clark, and Clark dodged the punch, laughing; right before he punched the guy in the face, judging his strength well, knowing how hard a normal guy would punch.  
The jock grabbed his face, and wiped his nose with the back of his hand to find blood. "Oh that's it Kent!" He yelled before charging Clark. Clark was taken by surprise and the jock managed to send him to the floor, him of top on Clark, getting ready to punch. Clark grabbed his hand, inches before it would have hit his face.  
"Is that all you got?" Clark egged him on.

"Hey!" A loud voice bellowed, as the crowd parted. "What is going on here?" The voice reeked with authority.  
The jock was still on top of Clark, when the principle came into view, standing over them. "Get up." He commanded them both. The jock immediately jumped off Clark. Clark took his time getting up; making a comment about how the jock had bled all over his shirt; which made the crowd laugh.  
"You two, my office, NOW!" He yelled, "And the rest of you, go to class!" The jock just looked sacred, but Clark was smiling. He pulled his shirt over his head; he wasn't going to wear a bloody T-shirt around. Clark was pleased to find more than a few people surprised at how well built he was. Lana however, was not among them. She just stared at him, with pure shock to see that he was the one who was fighting. Her eyes seemed to burn threw him; all he could see was disappointment, and he turned away. Lana had never looked at him like that before.  
"Mr. Kent, put your shirt back on." The principle said.

"No." Clark laughed, throwing his shirt back behind him a few feet on the hallway. The principle was trying to suppress his fury as he pushed Clark into his office and slammed the door.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
"Hey, Chloe." Lana said, entering their room. "Did you hear about Clark?" Chloe said instantly focusing her attention on Lana.  
"Yeah, I was there, I saw it." Lana said.

"Oh, this is too good! You have to tell me every detail of your eye witness account?" Chloe made herself comfortable, "The most popular story is that Clark Kent lost it, and beat up Mark Schmitt, the captain of the football team." Chloe got that grin, which only a juicy story could pull out of her.  
  
"Well... I'm not sure exactly what happened but, Mark said something to Clark- made some joke about him, and I donno... they always do stuff like that." Lana said sadly, "But I guess it was one too many times, because Clark called him on it." Lana said remembering how Clark had used the F word. She had never heard him say that before, "Mark threw the first punch, but...Clark sure finished it."  
"Doesn't sound like the charming Clark we all know and love." Chloe said, intrigued.

"Yeah, and when the principle came and broke up the fight, Clark was still taunting Mark. He even managed to make Principle Reynolds more angry with him on the 50 foot walk to his office." Lana said, "When I looked at him... I've seen that look on his face before."  
"In Metropolis." Chloe read her mind.

"Yeah." Lana confirmed. "I don't know what's going on with him."  
"Yesterday... he totally flipped out on me." Chloe confessed.

"Why?" Lana asked.  
"Um... it was an old issue, which he said he forgave me for months ago. He was so angry." Chloe said.  
"I know how you feel though." It was Lana's turn, "Yesterday he came to the Talon. He said he was my boyfriend and when I just stated the obvious that he broke up with me, he called me a bitch, right before telling me he loved me."  
"Whoa." Chloe was positive that she had hurt Clark more than Lana was even capable, and Clark had never used that word with her. "And then he said he loved you?" Chloe said incredulously.  
"I know!" Lana said glad to share her confusion with someone, "It was like he was living in his own little reality, saying he would never break up with me." Lana couldn't help but remember how Clark had shown some of the same symptoms the day before running off to Metropolis. But this was different, he was so angry this time.  
"Do you think he is..." Chloe didn't know if she should say it.

"What?" Lana asked. "Crazy? No."

"Lana, you know how many issues he has! I swear it's like he has multiple personality disorder or something." Chloe argued.  
Lana couldn't deny it, "Chloe..."

"Lana, this morning his parents called, claming they didn't know where Clark was, hadn't seen him in 3 days." Chloe said.  
Lana didn't know what to say.

"Lana, I don't know about you but, I do not want a repeat of last summer. If he does have a problem, I want to help him before it's too late." Chloe said.

"I do too, but Chloe this doesn't mean he has a mental illness." Lana couldn't believe that, even if she didn't have another explanation for what Clark's strange behavior.  
Chloe just gave her an 'are-you-sure' look before walking out of the bedroom.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Lana!" Lana could see Clark's eyes light up as he spotted her.

"Clark, I can't talk to you right now, I'm working." Lana wished the Talon was more crowded so her excuse seemed less flimsy.  
"Lana, please?" Clark said with soft, calm eyes. Lana looked down at her tray, trying to decide.  
"Just 10 minutes." Clark said, pushing her decision over.

"Alright." Lana set the empty tray on the counter as Clark led her to an empty booth in the back of the Talon.  
"Lana." Clark took her hands in his, across the table. Lana immediately retracted her hands.  
"What?" Lana said coldly.

"Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have gotten mad." Clark apologized.  
"Okay." Lana said, keeping her gaze on the table.

"Lana, I meant it. I love you, and we should be together." Clark said.  
"Clark... you can't just say that!" Lana said.

"Lana, I know our past is was so screwed up, but it will be different this time, I swear!" Clark pleaded.  
"Different? Different like how you've been acting... Clark, I'm worried about you." Lana confessed, not sure how he would react.  
"Why?" Clark didn't like what he foresaw coming next.

"Because... you aren't acting like yourself... yesterday... the fight with Mark today..." Lana said.  
"Lana, I didn't start that fight." Clark said defensively.

"I know but, Clark, that isn't you. Are you sure you are alright?" Lana asked.  
"Yes, Lana, that is who I am. All I did was stand up for myself. I'm not alright, because I need you Lana." Clark said putting his hand on hers.  
"Clark, what's going on with you?" Lana asked.

"Nothing." Clark said.  
"How can you even expect me to get back together with you when you can't even be honestly with me about something like this?" Lana countered.  
"Lana, I'll tell you anything you want to know. It's not supposed to be like this. In the real world, you know my secrets." Clark said, not fully realizing what he was saying.  
"Real world? Clark... I'm not the only one worried about you. Chloe has noticed the way you are acting-"  
"And how is that?" Clark interrupted her.

"Like you were before you ran away." Lana laid it all out on the table.

"No, Lana, that wasn't me who did that. I never ran away... it's hard to explain." Clark said.  
"Clark, this is exactly what I'm talking about... your in your own little world and..." Lana was beginning to side with Chloe's theory, and had to test it, "Clark, when we were in the pit... where your storm cellar blew up... do you remember what you said?"  
Clark gave Lana a look which showed he had no idea what she was talking about.  
"You were really paranoid... you kept saying someone was going to hurt everyone you love." Lana said, trying to make him see.  
"Lana, I don't remember that." Clark was finding it harder than he imagined to convince Lana to be his girlfriend.

"Clark... please just tell me what's going on." Lana was practically begging him to reassure her that he wasn't going crazy. 'He can't even remember things' Lana worried.  
"Alright... I'll tell you." Clark thought it was the only way, "I know it sounds crazy but, I was in this car accident and I was hit by lightning, and when I woke up... I was in this life... You see, in real life, I'm not a Kent, I'm a Luther. We are together and happy Lana. It's all different." Clark said.  
Lana felt like crying. He was totally losing it, living in some fantasy world. What scared her most was when she looked into his eyes, she saw that he truly believed it.  
"Clark... let me help you." Lana knew Chloe was right. She had to help him before it was too late.  
"Lana, it's true. I swear." Clark said regretting saying anything. "I'm not crazy." Clark couldn't believe the look he saw in Lana's eyes. She was scared for him, because she truly thought he was losing his mind.  
"I'm not!" Clark said before running out of the Talon.   
  
TBC...


	19. Liberate Your Mind

Clark found himself at the Kent farm, his curiosity winning, as he  
stepped inside, quietly, making sure the door didn't make a sound as he  
closed it. After he left Lana, in the Talon, he wanted to see how his  
'parents' were. It was all a little amusing to Clark. This wasn't real  
for him, so he didn't have to worry about his life.  
"Clark." Martha said spotting Clark as he was walking up the stairs. Clark turned around but didn't say anything, he wasn't sure how to act in... a family.  
"Clark, where have you been?" Martha sounded worried, but not angry.

"School." Clark said sarcastically, as a joke, when Jonathan came up behind Martha.  
"Yes, Clark, your principle called us, and I don't think it's funny." Jonathan said sternly.  
Clark just remembered his week suspension from school.

"You want to give us your side of the story?" Jonathan asked.  
"The lil' bastard started it. Anyways, who cares?" Clark said.

"Clark, I don't know what's going on with you, but you are grounded." Jonathan said in a serious tone, "And later we have to have a serious father and son talk."  
"Sure." Clark said sarcastically before turning to go his room.

"Clark." Jonathan grabbed Clark's arm, turning him around, "We aren't done here. Where have you been for the past 3 days?"  
"Out." Clark said, as he shrugged out of Jonathan's grip.

"Clark, you better drop the attitude right now, because-"

"Because you'll do what? Ground me?" Clark laughed and turned around, walking up to his room.  
Jonathan let him this time, and turned to Martha as he heard a door shut. "What is going on with him? Martha, he could have seriously hurt that boy." Jonathan said referring to Clark's suspension.  
"I know..." Martha said worriedly.

"I checked for red kryptonite, and I didn't see any." Jonathan said, almost wishing Clark was wearing some. As least that was the easy answer on how to fix Clark's behavioral problems.  
"I should go talk to him." Martha said, thinking it couldn't hurt.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Clark hadn't been in his room 10 minutes and he was already bored out of his mind. He didn't even know why he came here, and didn't just use super speed somewhere else. But that was all he had been doing for the past couple of days, wandering around, and he was sick of it.  
There was nothing to do in his room, no TV, no game system, and he couldn't help but laugh at the CDs he found.  
"Clark." His door slowly opened, as Martha came into view, "Can we talk?" "Sure." Clark said. He didn't mind the distraction from doing nothing. He would never admit it, but Clark kind of like Martha, ever since she had told him the truth about who he really was. He found he had trust that laid with her.  
"Clark, why are you acting like this? This isn't you." Martha said, as she sat down on the bed, next to him.  
"You're right, I'm not the Clark Kent you knew, but people change." Clark said, not wanting to explain what everything to her, especially not after Lana thought he was crazy.  
"Clark, the things you've said to Jonathan, not only today, but the last time you saw him... they were so hurtful. Your father loves you." Martha said, putting the motherly guilt on Clark. Now Clark didn't feel it to the degree the real Clark Kent would have, he felt he owed her an explanation,  
"Jonathan doesn't." Clark said, and finished quickly before Martha could protest, "And ever if he does, it's only because he thinks I'm his son. He isn't a good person, the circumstances are just different."  
"Clark... how can you say your father isn't a good person? After everything he has done for you?" Martha took Jonathan's side.  
"Gee, I don't know." Clark thought of all the times he warned him to stay away from Lana.  
"Clark..." Martha touched Clark's arm, and sent a jolt of energy threw it as everything else faded away in Clark's world, and he once again relived a memory that he never knew.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=memory=&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Martha is heating a sharp kitchen knife over the gas stove in the kitchen. Day. Jonathan is sitting on the kitchen floor next to Clark who is lying down, still moaning in pain.  
  
Jonathan: (To Martha.) How's that coming, sweetheart?  
  
Martha: I got it.  
  
Jonathan rips open Clark's shirt, revealing a bloody bullet hole in his chest near his left shoulder with swollen veins stretching out from it in every direction.  
  
Clark: Aaah!  
  
Jonathan: It's okay, son. It's okay. It's all right, Clark. Hang in there.  
  
Martha runs to Clark and Jonathan with the knife as well as a bowl and dishtowel. Clark's moans become more desperate.  
  
Martha: He's dying. The poison is spreading so fast.  
  
Jonathan takes the knife.  
  
Jonathan: Okay, Clark, I'm gonna... I'm gonna get it out.  
  
Jonathan sticks the tip of the knife into Clark's wound.  
  
Clark: Aaah!  
  
Jonathan: Clark, Clark, you gotta stay still, son.  
  
Martha: (Stroking Clark's hair.) Hold on, baby, hold on. Dad's gonna get it.  
  
Clark: Aah--  
  
Clark's voice cuts off.  
  
Martha: He's not breathing!  
  
Jonathan: All right. Hand me those.  
  
Clark loses consciousness as Martha hands Jonathan a pair of pliers from the bowl. Jonathan uses the pliers to reach into Clark's wound. Martha puts her hand over her mouth, frightened.  
  
Jonathan: Don't you give up on us now, son!  
  
Jonathan searches around inside the wound with the pliers.  
  
Martha: Jonathan, do you have it?  
  
Jonathan: Martha, it's in there so far. Wait a second. I think I got it. Okay.  
  
Martha: (To Clark, crying.) Hold on, baby, hold on, baby, he's got it.  
  
Jonathan slowly pulls the glowing kryptonite bullet from the hole in Clark's chest. The bullet and the tips of the pliers are covered in blood. Jonathan and Martha both look at the bullet in disgust for a moment. Then Jonathan drops it into the bowl. Martha covers the bowl with the dishtowel and runs from the room.  
  
Jonathan: Get that thing out of here. Clark, come on, son. Come on, Clark.  
  
Clark is still unconscious. But right before Jonathan's eyes, the bulging veins around Clark's wound disappear and the bullet hole closes up, healing itself completely. Jonathan remains next to Clark on the kitchen floor.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Jonathan leaves the house. Night. Clark comes out after him with a blanket over his shoulders. His face is pale. Clark: Dad.  
  
Jonathan: Clark, you shouldn't be up.  
  
Clark: Where are you going?  
  
Jonathan: I'm going to Pete's to get the ship.  
  
Clark: Now? How's Mom? (Jonathan doesn't answer) Dad?  
  
Jonathan: Clark, Helen says that your mother probably won't make it through the night. And now you, too.  
  
Clark: You-- you can't think about me. We gotta help Mom.  
  
Jonathan: I'm not gonna lose my family, not without a fight. Now, if it takes another miracle, I just have to go out and find one.  
  
Clark: The ship. Do you think it can cure me and Mom? BR  
  
Jonathan: I don't know, Clark. I'm just grasping at straws here. The doctors can't help you, and your mother thinks the ship helped her get pregnant. I don't know, maybe it's crazy.  
  
Clark: The only way to get it to work is with that key.  
  
Jonathan: I know that, son. I also know exactly where the DCA took everything. I'm going there to get it right now.  
  
Clark: I'll go with you.  
  
Jonathan: No. I want you to stay right here. You're too sick. Go to bed, son.  
  
Jonathan drives away in the truck and Clark pulls the blanket tighter around himself.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&=end memory=&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
"Clark? Clark? Are you okay?" Martha asked, as she looked into her son's vacant eyes.  
"ya." Clark responded as the memory faded away.

"What happened?" Martha asked.  
"Nothing." Clark lied. Martha knew he was lying, but decided to let it go.  
Clark just sat there. These memories swallowed you whole, and gripped on to your heart, forcing you to live the emotions that went into them. "You're okay." Clark whispered to Martha, glad to know Martha was healthy. He had only felt a few seconds ago, the fear and pain that she was going to die. But not just that, he felt such a deep love for his mother. In these memories, he no longer thought of her as Martha, but as his mother whom had always been there for him. He even felt a love towards Jonathan.  
By the time Clark snapped out of his thoughts, he found that Martha had left the room.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Jonathan, you should have seen his eyes, it was like he wasn't there at all..." Martha relayed what she had witnessed in Clark earlier.  
"What do you think it was?" Jonathan asked. "He saw something, or heard something... or I donno..." Martha said not able to explain it.  
"Martha, what if this is about Jor-El? What if he is talking to Clark again?" Jonathan said extra worried at the thought.  
"Maybe..." Martha thought it was as possible as anything. "We have to do something before he gets out of control." Jonathan said, leaning against the kitchen counter.  
"We can't do anything until we find out what's happening to him, Jonathan, and he won't talk to us." Martha pointed out.  
"Martha, he went through something, he isn't the same... I look at him and I just see so much hate for the world... for me." Jonathan admitted.  
"Jonathan, he loves you... he's just going threw something." Martha tried to comfort her husband, but she herself felt the same way.  
Before Jonathan could say anything, the door bell rang, and he went to answer the door. Jonathan got there only to find that Clark had already answered it, and was talking to Chloe.  
"Clark, I want to talk about the other day." Clark couldn't notice how sad Chloe looked.  
"Me too." Clark felt he should apologize. "Clark, you're grounded." Jonathan said, "No friends over." "Calm down, we're just going to go to the loft." Clark gave Jonathan a challenging look, that said 'just try and stop me'.  
"No where else." Jonathan compromised.  
"Clark, I had no idea you were still mad about that." Chloe started off the conversation. "No, I didn't mean to yell at you like that, I was just confused, I'm sorry." Clark was really trying to avoid the tears that he saw building up in Chloe's eyes.  
Chloe remembered the other day when she met up with Clark on the street, and he was MIA for their meeting.

&&&&&&&&&&&&=memory=&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Clark, where were you?" Chloe said snapping Clark out of his thoughts.  
"Chloe." Clark said angrily.  
Chloe's facial expression changed from annoyance to fear, "Why are  
you mad?"  
"Why do you think?" Clark said, hoping he would have a chance to face  
Chloe again and this time make her regret ever telling Van his secret.  
"Clark... I donno." Chloe had no idea why Clark had so much rage against  
her, what had she done?  
"You betrayed me." Clark said holding back his rage.  
"Clark... if this is about me spying on you for Lionel... you know I'm sorry...  
I thought you forgave me months ago." Chloe said as a tear fell down her  
face.  
"Why were you spying on me?" Clark asked, angrier.  
"Clark, you know..." Chloe looked away from him.  
"Why?" Clark demanded.  
"Lionel wanted me to get information on you... to find out your  
secrets." Chloe cried.  
"You're lying. He knows all my secrets." Clark hated being lied to,  
and it fueled his anger.  
"Clark, you hate Lionel more than anyone... why would you take his  
side?" Chloe was so confused by Clark's attitude and what he was saying.  
"No, I don't." Clark said.  
"Clark, I thought we had re-established our friendship, but I guess I was  
wrong." Chloe ran away from him.  
"Shit." Clark muttered as he realized that Chloe probably hadn't  
betrayed him in this reality. He hated Lionel?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=end memory=&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Chloe snapped back to what Clark was saying.  
"—I'm not mad at you." Clark said as they were walking back into Clark's house, after they had talked for about 20 minutes.  
The phone rang as they walked in the door, and Clark grabbed it, out of instinct. "Ya?" He said into the phone.  
"Clark, this is Lionel Luther." Lionel said recognizing the voice. "oh." Clark said in a pleasant tone. So Lionel called him?  
"Clark, I talked to Lex and he said he won't stop his treatments at Summerholt. In fact I was just informed that he is going to under go another session right now. I think it could seriously injure himself, you have to help him." Lionel got to the point.  
"Okay, I'll be there." Clark hung up, and wished Chloe wasn't there, so he could just super speed. The n he realized he didn't know where Summerholt was.  
"Chloe, where is Summerholt?" Clark asked in an urgent voice. Chloe told him, and then said, "Why?"  
"Lionel said Lex is in trouble, I have to help him." Clark said in a stressed voice.  
"Clark, no!" Chloe protested, "You can't trust him." "Chloe." Clark said in a 'come on' tone.  
"Please, Clark. After everything he's done to you." Chloe pleaded. 'Nothing.' Clark thought, "Chloe, I have to help Lex. Can you go to tell my parents where I went?" Clark just wanted her away from him, so he could use his super speed.  
"Let me go with you." Chloe had a really bad feeling about this. "No." Clark said in an annoyed an angry voice.  
Chloe walked into the next room, looking for the Kents, as Clark super speeded out of the house. "Lana, I have a really bad feeling about this." Chloe said, into her cell phone.  
"Chloe, I'm like 15 minutes from Summerholt, I could go and see if Clark's alright." Lana said finding that Chloe's worry was contagious.  
"Would you Lana? I would go myself but you know my track record with the Luthers." Chloe said, feeling guilty.  
"It's no problem." Lana hung up, as she made a U-turn, changing direction, towards Summerholt.  
Clark's heart was racing. What if he didn't get to Lex in time? He couldn't stand the thought of his brother dyeing. What kind of danger was Lex in? What was Summerholt? Clark didn't have time to think, as he raced into the building. He went right past the secretary, behind her desk, and into the only room he saw.  
  
Once inside, Clark felt so weak. He looked around, and saw only a tank with green water. Clark knew it was meteor rocks, from the way he felt. Seeing Lex wasn't there, he turned to leave, but was struck down, to the ground, by two men.  
  
Clark didn't have the strength to get up; he had been around the meteors too long already. If he wasn't in so much pain, he might have figured out what was going on sooner.  
  
_Liberate your mind You motherfucker, _

_you're so narrow-minded So narrow-minded _

_Liberate your mind _

_Now motherfucker, will you liberate your mind This time  
_  
Clark was lifted up onto a metal table by the same two men.  
A man, a doctor, Clark presumed by the white lab coat, came into view. "Strip him." He ordered.  
Clark groaned, as he tried to lean over, enough to fall off the table. He found himself being held down.  
Clark closed his eyes, losing all his strength. He opened them when heard an all too familiar voice, and he saw Lionel talking to the doctor, although he couldn't hear what they were saying.  
Clark felt a burst of hope, "Lionel... help me." Clark said using up almost all the strength he had left.  
Lionel walked over to Clark, with a smirk and said, "We're going to find out who Clark Kent really is." And then back to the doctor, "I will be featuring the questions. I want to know where Clark Kent came from."  
Clark couldn't believe it, "Please." He whispered. How could Lionel do this to him? What were they doing to him?  
  
_Bold motherfcker Don't limit your mind _

_Can't you see that the pace Has fallen behind _

_All the hate in your heart Will be leaving you blind _

_So bold motherfcker Don't you limit your mind This time_  
  
Clark had to escape; he mustered up all of his remaining strength and managed to turn over on the table. He felt strong hands grip him, turning him back over, as someone else cut his shirt off. He felt someone pull off his belt.  
Clark groaned with pain. "Okay, lower him into the tank." The doctor ordered. Clark felt himself being moved, and then strapped down, as the meteor effect being increasingly stronger.  
Clark didn't understand why the pain was increasing so quickly and intensely, he was too dazed to realize that he was being lowered into the tank.  
Clark was forced to open his eyes, from the pain. The last thing he remembered was the smile on Lionel's face and the ring of a cell phone, before he felt his skin start to burn, as he shook from the pain.  
"Ah--" Clark left out a gasp, as he became more alert, a horrible side effect from the pain. Everything became so intense, he felt his whole body submerged in the solution. He had never experienced pain even close to this before, not even when Van shot him. Clark knew he couldn't stand this very long; this was it, he was going to die.  
Clark's body continued to shake, as he heard a voice, "I need you to relax Clark." Clark slowly stopped shaking, his body didn't even have the energy to do that anymore.  
"Clark, take me to your first memory." Clark felt like his brain was going to explode as thousands of memories flashed threw his head, one after another, faster and faster, until they all suddenly stopped, and he watched as his first memory played in his head. He saw his birth parents putting him in the ship. He listened as his mother voiced her concern that no one would love him. Finally he saw the ship close.  
"Laura! Laura!" Clark started to convulse again, struggling against the restraints. A quite alarm went off. "What's happening?" He asked.  
"I don't know... he is having some sort of reaction to the solution, we have to get him out." His assistant said.  
"No." He said firmly, then he focused on Clark again, "He hasn't old us what we want to know yet. Who's Laura, Clark?" "Laura! Laura!" Clark shouted, as sparks flew off from the equipment. Lana opened Summerholt's door as an alarm blared. Lionel and Lex were right there, and he saw Lex run into a back room, and so she followed him.   
Lex walked into the mess of destruction. There were live wires, sending  
off sparks, equipment was destroyed and strewn across the room. Part of  
the ceiling and walls collapsed. Lex rushed over, when he saw the Doctor  
pinned under a metal beam. He checked his pulse, to find he was dead  
already, along with another man.  
"Lex, what happened?"  
Lex turned around to see Lana completely panicked.  
"I don't know." Lex said, as he continued to walk threw the wreckage.  
Lana's heart sunk as she looked at Lex's face, when he looked into a  
green tank.  
"Oh My Gawd." He said before looking around him, and then grabbing  
a crow bar, and smashing the glass, and green water poured out of it, By  
now, Lana was behind Lex, as he bent over, looking in the tank, "Clark."  
Lana watched in horror as she saw Clark turn his head over and  
whisper in a raspy voice, "Lex... help me." Before he lost consciousness  
again.  
Lana realized that Clark had been trapped under the water, when she saw  
he was strapped down. How long had he been under the water?  
"I'm going to get you out of here." Lex promised.

&  
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Song Lyrics by Disturbed


	20. Depression

okay, I really enjoyed writing this part!  
&  
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&

Lex un-strapped Clark, and grabbed under his arms, sliding Clark out of the tank. Lana helped Lex lay Clark down on the floor, gently. Lex flipped his cell phone open as he called someone, for help, Lana assumed.  
She knelt down over Clark, and tired to brush the broken glass that was under him, away. "Clark, you're gonna be okay." Lana comforted him.  
"Lana." Clark said, opening his eyes a little,

"I'm sorry..." Clark sounded like he was having trouble breathing still. Lana had no idea what Clark was sorry for.  
Clark had seen thousands of memories, of _this_ life. He saw how many times he hurt Lana, how many horrible things Lionel had done to him, how Jonathan sacrificed his health to bring him back from Metropolis.   
"Lana, let's get him out of here." Lex said, forcing Clark to his feet, and putting an arm around his neck, for support, and Lana on the other side, they brought him out to the front desk and set him down on the carpet.  
Lex wasn't surprised to see his father was gone.  
"Clark, what happened?" Lana asked, seeing that Clark looked like he felt a lot better, he was sitting up.  
Clark didn't answer her for along time, but finally he said  
"I was wrong... I always was wrong."  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
Clark woke up in his room. Even in his dreams, he continued to see memories, important and just random moments that meant nothing.   
  
_Hope, dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption  
Winding in and winding out  
The shine of it has caught my eye  
Roped me in so mesmerizing  
And so hypnotizing   
I am captivated  
I am... _  
  
Yesterday changed his whole life, and not just this life. His whole way of thinking had been wrong, and everyone saw it but him. Lana was right, Lex was right, The Kents were right... Lionel was evil.  
  
_Vindicated   
I am selfish, I am wrong  
I am right, I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now  
The things you swore you saw yourself _  
  
Clark especially hated the memory of how Lionel had drugged Lex, driving him crazy, because he found out that Lionel had, had his parents killed for their life insurance money.  
His father was a murderer.  
He ruined people's lives in order to get what he wanted.  
Clark hated himself so much; he could see every mistake he had made, so clearly. Trusting Lionel, telling Chloe his secret, all mistakes.  
  
_So clear  
Like the diamond in your ring  
Cut to mirror your intention  
Oversized and overwhelmed  
The shine of which has caught my eye  
And rendered me so isolated  
So motivated, I am certain now  
That I am.. _  
  
Clark just wanted to die. He didn't want to live in this reality; he didn't want to go back to his real life anymore, either.   
  
_Vindicated  
I am selfish, I am wrong  
I am right, I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed   
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now  
The things you swore you saw yourself _  
  
Clark hated them both, if he did something right in one, he messed up something else he did right in the other. This life he had to guard his secret so closely, that not even Lana completely trusted him. In real life, the only reason he could be more open with his secret was that Lionel would basically destroy anyone who knew or told his secret. He had parents, who he loved, and they loved him back, but he didn't have Lana. In real life, he had Lana, but a cold hearted killer for a father, who was raising him to be just like him. Clark saw it all now, Lionel was turning Clark into himself, and he let him.  
  
_Trace the moment, fall forever  
Defense is paper thin  
Just one touch and I'd be in too deep  
to ever swim against the current  
  
So let me slip away, so let me slip away  
So let me slip away, so let me slip against the current  
So let me slip away, so let me slip away  
So let me slip away, so let me slip away _  
  
Lionel had been everything to Clark; he had taught him everything. So what are you supposed to do when your rock is gone?  
  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"Jonathan, I'm so worried about him... he has been sleeping for 4 days. He just sits up there in his room." Martha said.  
"Well the accident at Summerholt was pretty traumatic. The kryptonite must have been so painful." Jonathan couldn't stand the thought of it.  
"He's not sick, Jonathan. He is depressed. He barely says two words, he doesn't eat; you've seen him. He is going threw so much pain inside." Martha felt like crying, she couldn't stand seeing her baby like this, "We both know it wasn't just Summerholt. Clark has been through stuff like this before; it's something else."  
"I tried talking to him yesterday, and barely even answered me. I just wish I knew what was bothering him, so I could help him." Jonathan wished he could go through Clark's pain for him.  
"He needs to get up and out. Maybe if he saw his friends, do you think that would cheer him up a little?" Martha asked, but didn't wait for an answer, "I'm going to go call Pete."  
"I'm going to go and try and see if he will talk." Jonathan headed up the stairs.  
  
Jonathan knocked on Clark's door, and when he didn't get a response he walked in.  
"Hey, Clark. Feeling any better?" Jonathan said, and he pulled out the chair by Clark's desk, and sat down next to the bed.  
Clark was awake, sitting in his bed, "sure."  
"Clark, your mother is really worried about you." Jonathan said. Clark just looked away. All the memories he had seen, had given him a new love for Martha and Jonathan, as parents, and he felt a pang of guilt for making them worry, but it didn't motivate him to get out of bed, to move on, to face the world; it just made him more depressed.  
"Clark, what happened?" Jonathan asked.  
Clark gave Jonathan a brief look, revealing all the pain he was feeling before looking away again. Clark didn't think he could ever tell anyone, because saying it out loud made it more real, more painful.  
"Clark, why don't you at least go take a shower, you'll feel better once you're up." Jonathan was once again greeted by silence, he patted Clark's shoulder, "Come on."  
"Okay." Clark said, it came out softer than a whisper. He slowly pulled back the covers and his feet touched the cold floor.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"I got him to take a shower, it's a start at least." Jonathan told Martha.  
"Good. I asked Pete to come over and he'll be here in an hour. I didn't want to ask Clark, I was afraid he would say no." Martha said nervously.  
"Maybe Pete can help Clark, because, Martha, I can't stand to see him like that." Jonathan admitted.  
"I know." Martha finally let herself cry, and Jonathan wrapped his arms around her. Martha hated this more than anything in the world, seeing her son in so much pain and being so close, but not being able to help him. She'd give anything to take away his pain.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"Hey, Mrs. Kent." Pete said, as Martha answered the door, "Is Clark doing any better?"  
Martha shook her head, sadly.  
Pete decided he shouldn't tell anyone about how Clark wasn't the king of plaid they loved. Pete didn't even feel like visiting Clark,, after all this was not his best friend, it wasn't even close.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
"Hey, man." Pete said, walking into Clark's room. Pete immediately felt guilty for not wanting to be there, when he saw Clark.  
Clark looked over at Pete.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"So, how did it go?" Martha asked, as Pete came back down to the kitchen.  
"He barely said anything. I just couldn't talk to him." Pete couldn't think of a more awkward scene, as he thought back on the 15 minutes he spent with Clark. "He just wanted to be alone."  
"Alright, well thanks for coming over, anyways, Pete." Martha said, as Pete left.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"Clark's still not at school?" Chloe said to Pete and Lana, as they all were hanging around the torch.  
"I saw him yesterday and he is totally depressed." Pete shared.  
"Why?" Lana and Chloe said at the same time.  
"I have no idea. He won't tell me, he barely even says anything. The Kents said he isn't eating."  
"Poor Clark, he must have been pretty messed up, from Summerholt." Chloe said, feeling guilty. She should have stopped him.  
"No, he isn't sick. It's not that... it's something else." Pete said, handing Chloe the front page to the Torch as she placed it in a stack of papers.  
"I should go visit him." Lana said, she couldn't get the image of Clark strapped down, and underwater, completely pale.  
"You can if you want, but he doesn't even talk, it's like he is in his own little world. He sits there and mumbles 'okay' every once and a while." Pete felt he should warn Lana of the uncomfortable situation she would be in.  
"Maybe it has something to do with his personality change last week." Chloe suggested.  
"Naw, it's not that." Pete knew.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"Lana." Jonathan said, surprised, as he answered the door.  
"Hey, Mr. Kent. I have Clark's homework." Lana used that as an excuse, "And I thought I could try and cheer him up a little, Pete told me he isn't doing so good."  
"Ya, sure." Jonathan opened the door wider, as Lana stepped in, "But I have to warn you, he isn't really talking a lot."  
"I heard." Lana said, as Martha came in.  
"Hi, Lana." She said in a cheerful voice, "Are you here to see Clark?"  
"Ya."   
"He's up in his room." Martha told her, "Oh, and can you bring this up to him?" Martha handed her a plate of food, "I doubt he'll eat it, but at least it's there."  
"Sure, no problem." Lana headed up the stairs, and knocked on Clark's door. Clark didn't respond, so she just opened it.  
"Hey." Lana smiled, in spite of how she felt, looking at Clark, he looked as if his spirit was gone, "I brought you food."  
Lana thought she saw Clark's eyes brighten a little bit, but then they returned back to the former emptiness that held nothing but pain.  
  
_Memories consume  
Like opening the wounds  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm searching in my room  
Unless I try to start again_  
  
"It's okay, I'm not hungry." Clark, sat up a little more.  
"Okay, I'll just put it here. Chloe wanted me to say hi for her." Lana set it on his desk. She sat down on Clark's bed, "So I here you aren't doing so well."  
Clark looked her in the eyes, confirming it.  
"You feel okay?" Lana asked.  
"I'm not sick." Clark informed her.  
"Then what's wrong?" Lana held his hand. Clark didn't answer her.  
"Come on, Clark. Tell me what's going on inside your head." Lana squeezed his hand.  
Clark sighed, "I just want to end it."   
Clark saw Lana's eyes widen, "What, why?" Did Clark actually say that?  
Clark felt better with Lana there, "If I go back... I'll be just like him... hurting people. If I stay... I won't even have you. Either way, I'll end up totally alone." Clark wasn't really concerned if Lana understood or not, he just knew that he always trusted her, and confided in her.

"Clark..." Lana cupped Clark's face with her small hand, tilting his head up, forcing him to look into her eyes, "I'll always be here for you. You aren't alone, you have your parents, Lex, Chloe, Pete, and me."  
"Lana, I saw it. You leave to Paris, Lex betrays me, Pete leaves because of my secret..." Clark found that saying at least part of it aloud, didn't hurt him more.  
Lana would have dismissed Clark's ramblings, as paranoia, but she thought back to the Paris school of Arts pamphlet in her room, which no one knew about but her.  
"Clark..." Lana wasn't sure what to say.  
"What would you do, if everything you thought was true, was just a lie. If the one person you trusted with your life, who always gave you the answers, who made you who you are was evil? And you were bound to end up just like him? I just see no way out." Clark confided.  
"Clark, you aren't going to become evil." Lana smiled, "I'm sure of it. Clark, I don't know what's happening to you, but I know you are so strong; you can find a way."  
"I can't." Clark's voice quivered. Lana looked at him, to see a single tear slide down his cheek.  
"Clark." She hugged him, and he held onto her, tight, "You're going to be okay. You can do this. Because no matter what kind of future you see for yourself, if you want to change it, you'll find a way, I know you will." Lana broke the hug, but she held onto his arm, rubbing it, "Clark, you are the most incredible person I know; you've been through so much, and pretty soon, you'll be able to put this on that list."Clark believed her. He didn't know why he didn't see it before; Lana was the answer. She was always there for him, she was his rock, not Lionel.  
Lana had so much hope as she saw a smile sweep across Clark's face, "Come on, take a shower, and we'll go out. We'll go see a movie or something." Lana said in a cheery voice.   
"Alright." Cark said in a happier tone than Lana had heard him use the whole time.  
  
_I don't want to be the one,   
the battles always choose  
Because inside I realized  
that I'm the one confused  
I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
and say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habits tonight_  
  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"You look so much better, already, Clark." Lana said, as he came back into his room, with fresh clothes on and his hair was still wet.  
"uh huh." Clark said sarcastically, but he laughed a little.  
"What's with..." Lana walked over to Clark, and gently tugged on a clump of hair that was noticeably longer than the rest, "this?"  
Clark looked in the mirror for the first time in days, "I donno."  
"Sit." Lana said pulling out a chair, and opening his desk drawer, pulling out a pair of scissors, "I'll give you a hair cut." Lana smiled.  
"Ya, no thanks." Clark said, "You're gonna give me a chop job." Clark laughed.  
Lana was happy to see him actually making a joke, "No, come on. I swear, I'll do a good job."  
Clark reluctantly sat down in the chair. As Lana started cutting his hair, he realized how bad he looked, yet it didn't embarrass him, he didn't care that much yet.  
Clark noticed the plate of food on the desk, and slide it over to where he was leaning on the desk, and took a bite.  
  
_Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I heard much more  
Than inside before  
I have no options left again_  
  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
"Jonathan, are you hungry?" Martha asked as Jonathan came in from the back door.  
"Not really." He said as he went to the sink and washed his hands.  
"Okay, then. I'll start making dinner in about an hour." Martha said.  
"I saw Lana car still out there." Jonathan noted.  
"Ya, she's been here almost an hour. I think that's a good sign." Martha said hopefully.  
Martha and Jonathan looked over to the stairs, when they heard footsteps, and they saw Lana and Clark come down.  
"Um, we were just going to go to a movie, if that's okay." Lana said.  
"Ya." Martha said a little too enthusiastic.  
"Bye." Clark smiled at Martha and Jonathan, before he shut the door and left.  
"He is actually going out and did you see him smile?" Martha couldn't control her own smile.  
"Ya, sweetheart." Jonathan smiled too.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Lana made sure they went to a comedy, and she didn't bring up anything or ask anything about why or what Clark had meant, what he was talking about in his room. She made an extra effort to make it as normal as possible, while adding a little extra cheer.  
Clark found that just getting out, walking around, helped him. He couldn't just focus completely on his problems, like he could in his bedroom. And being with Lana, reminded him of how much he loved her. He thought back to real life, and he knew Lana was worth it, she would help him be a good person.  
About 2 hours after they had left the house, Lana really noticed Clark start to really snap out of his depression. He started conversations on his own, and she could just tell, his eyes gave him away. Although he did seem different, just in the way he talked, acted, Lana was just happy that he made so much progress in such a short amount of time.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark and Lana were walking down Smallville's main street, and Clark held Lana's hand. He knew they weren't together, not here, but he didn't care. He stopped, and turned to face Lana, "Lana, thank you." He meant it on so many levels, and so deeply. He had said those words so many time, but never really knew what if felt like to truly mean it with all of your soul.  
"Anytime." Lana smiled, and Clark hugged her. Clark couldn't fight the urge, and didn't even want to try, so he bent over and kissed Lana.  
When he parted the kiss after a few moments, he looked into Lana's eyes and saw nothing but acceptance and love.  
As he was starring at her, everything started to go blurry and fade, more and more. Clark blinked, hoping his vision would return to normal, but found that the only thing in front of him was Todd, Clark tried to ask him what was happening, but everything went black.  
&  
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&TBC . . .  
  
Song lyrics by **Dashboard Confessionals & Linkin Park**  
Okay, I hope you liked it! I really appreciate all your feedback, keep it coming! 


	21. Dark Side

Okay this next part is rated

**(R) Restricted-Under 17:** This signifies that the story rated contains some adult material. An R may be assigned due to, among other things, a story's use of language, theme, violence, sex or its portrayal of drug use.

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Clark woke up with the familiar pain in his temples, and blurry vision, as he turned over, lying in bed until it was completely gone. Clark sat up slowly, not sure he wanted to find out were he was.  
  
He immediately recognized the unique structure of the room, as the mansion; as his bedroom. Clark's assumption that he had been brought back to his real life, was shattered when he really started to look around. Things were different, he recognized some of the things, which had been in his real life, but just as many he didn't. He jumped out of his bed, finding himself in boxers, as he left his room, and saw that the rest of the mansion had changed and yet some parts were still the same.  
  
'If I woke up here, I must be a Luther again, though.' Clark thought. He didn't want to find anybody, not until he knew the twist in all of this. He went back to his room, and opened his closet, looking for some clothes. He couldn't help but notice the change in his wardrobe. Sure, it was stuff he would normally wear, but about 80% of it was in black. He pulled on a black T-shirt and some jeans.  
  
As he was walking out of the room, he bumped into his desk, knocking stuff all over the floor. He wouldn't have cared, but he saw a wallet among the debris. He picked it up, and opened it, finding all his usual credit cards, and more. Then he found what he was looking for- his driver's license.  
  
"No." Clark sighed as he read that it said he was 18, not 16 (going on 17), like it should have read. "Damnit." Clark was so sick of this, why couldn't he just go back to his normal life? At least this time he had some memories of his life.  
Clark headed out of his room once again, and used his super speed to search the mansion. He was alone.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

He pulled the cell phone, he had found in the mansion, out of his pocket.  
He looked in the address memory, and when he saw Lex's name, he instinctively pushed enter, as the phone dialed the number.  
  
"Clark?" Lex sounded so surprised.  
"Uh, ya. Hi Lex." Clark hadn't really thought of what he was going to say. "What are you doing?" Clark said casually.  
"What am I doing?" Lex said incredulously.  
"Uh, is this a bad time?" Clark said, picking up on Lex's tone.  
"No, no... it's just... Clark, I just have to admit, I'm surprised that you are calling me." Lex confessed.  
"Why?" Clark asked, in his real life he always called Lex, just to say hi. This was his future, so why should it be so weird?  
"Because..." Lex said, as if it was obvious, and when Clark didn't respond he continued, "We haven't spoken in a year."  
Clark couldn't believe it, but he played along, "It's been so long, I can't even remember why."  
"You know why, Clark. You chose Lionel over me. You got pissed when I called you on the stuff you pulled. If I remember correctly, you said I was just jealous and was trying to ruin your life, and that you didn't want me in your life anymore because all I did was try and make you feel guilty for being yourself, just before you told me to get the hell out." Lex had been mad at Clark for months, but after about 6 months, he let all his bitterness go. He knew Lionel was dangerous persuasive and manipulative, and Clark was still just a kid. He had tried to contact Clark dozens of times after it first happened, but Clark always blew him off, but not without his share of hurtful words.  
  
"Oh." Was all Clark could possibly say. How could he do that to Lex? Clark understood that this must be the future, of him not knowing the truth about Lionel, because he would never choose him over Lex.  
  
"Clark, are you in some kind of trouble?" That was the only reason Lex could think of, for why Clark was calling him. "Did Lionel do something?" Lex had watched his brother rapidly change over the past 2 years, changed into someone he didn't like, but Clark was his brother, and Lex knew he was always going to help him, even if that meant helping covering up a murder, he'd done it before. But Lex wondered why Clark would come to him? Lionel always protected Clark, so the problem must have been Lionel.  
"Um..." Clark learned his lesson the first time; he was not going to tell anyone what was really going on, that he was living his future, "No. Uh... sorry I bothered you."  
"Clark, no you didn't--" Clark hung up.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&After wandering around for about an hour, Clark decided just to go back to the mansion.  
When he got inside, he heard a TV on; but when he reached the TV, no one was watching it; it was so loud, so he turned it off.  
He walked around the mansion, trying to find out who was there.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"Where is it?" Lana ripped Clark's drawer out of his dresser, as she moved on to his closet. "It has to be here." She ripped his clothes off the hangers, and threw them out of the way. She reached up onto a shelf and grabbed a metal box. "Ah!" She yelled when she found it was locked, in her frustration she threw it across the room, and it hit the wall. She began to cry as she leaned again the wall, and slumped down, until she was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, as her body shook with each sob.  
"Lana?" Clark said entering the room. "What's wrong?"  
"Go away Clark." She cried, but Clark could clearly hear her anger.  
  
_I recall going madly in love with you  
And I remember this, how could I forget?  
Regret is a needle in my neck   
It's slowly filling me with poison  
Spreading to my chest   
Take my pain and numb me from this _  
  
"Do you even care?" Lana stared at him with pure hatred. Clark could tell this was a much darker Lana just by looking at her; this wasn't the sweet, innocent Lana he had always known. Her make-up was so dark, with think black eyeliner. She had a piercing in her eyebrow and a nose ring. He immediately noticed the rather large tattoo on her left shoulder, which said his first name is thick bold letters, with a black dragon next to it. Her clothes had changed as well; she was wearing a black top, which showed most of her stomach and fishnet stockings with a short mini skirt.  
Lana noticed Clark starring at her tattoo, "You always loved this thing." She said it with disgust, "Your own personal way of branding me, right Clark?"  
"Lana..." Clark didn't know what to say.  
"Just leave me alone." She cried, as she picked up a glass cup, half filled with scotch, and threw it at him; he ducked and it shattered as it hit the wall behind him.  
Lana felt herself become angrier that she missed, and stood up, searching the room for something else to throw at him. She spotted a glass bottle of rum, and threw it at him, but missed again.  
"Lana, stop." Clark said.  
"No!" Lana screamed, as Clark approached her, "Get away from me!"  
"Lana, calm down." Clark said, as he grabbed her by the wrist, as she tried to slap him. He couldn't hide his surprise when he saw the puncture marks in her arm, there were at least 12, just on her right arm.  
"Lana" He said pulling her arm out more, revealing the inside of her arm, "You need help." He never pictured Lana using drugs before, much less being an addict.  
Lana tried to jerk her arm away from Clark, but he was too strong, "Don't act like you even care about me! You treat me like your property!" Lana screamed, as she spit on him; she would have hit him, but he was holding both her arms.  
"Lana, I do care about you." Clark let go of her, as he wiped off his face.  
Lana raced to the other side of the room and grabbed the box, "Open it!" She screamed.  
"Lana, calm down." Clark had never seen her like this.  
  
_why do I have to beg  
when all that's left  
is a memory forsaken _  
  
"No! Clark it's over! I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore! But you won't let me out! Clark I hate you so much!" Lana meant it with every cell in her body.  
"Lana, you don't mean that. I love you." Clark was trying to calm her down.  
"Love me? Look at what you've done to me Clark! I don't even have any friends! You made it so you were my whole world! I haven't seen my parents in 8 months! I don't care if you love me Clark, because I don't love you, not anymore! I have been so stupid for so long, but this is it, Clark. I mean it! I want out, and you are going to let me this time." She cried.  
  
_I recall pledging my sole devotion to you  
it reminds me how now I'm on my knees  
my guilt consumes  
lost the will in me  
wasting away before you  
hold me closer please  
take my pain and numb me from this _  
  
Clark stepped forward, and wiped some tears off her cheek, while his other hand was still holding onto her arm. He could feel her shaking, "Its okay, Lana. I'll get you help." Clark hugged her, but her whole body was shaking.  
"Clark..." She sounded so afraid, "Don't hurt me, I'm sorry... I'll stay."   
"Lana, I'm not going to hurt you." Clark couldn't believe Lana was scared of him, he would never hit her, but she must have had reason to think so. Was it possible, his future self would? He knew by now that he must be a horrible person, Lana hated him, he didn't even talk to Lex, and apparently the only one who he had a good relationship with, was Lionel.  
  
_forsake  
you break me  
you're breaking me_  
  
Lana couldn't stop crying, "I'm sorry." Clark thought that if he wasn't holding her tight in his arms, she would have just fallen to the ground, she seemed so weak.  
"Lana, it's okay. You're going to be okay." Clark said, hoping to make her feel better, but not knowing how he could do that, since he seemed to be the source of her pain. But he couldn't leave her.  
"No I'm not." Lana finally pushed Clark away from her, she gathered up all her courage and strength inside, "Please, Clark, just let me leave. Tell me where my parents are. I swear I will never say anything, about everything you've done. I swear, no one will ever know."  
"Lana..." Clark didn't understand, not fully. He would have done anything for her, at that moment, to stop her pain. He would have died for her.  
  
Lana, thinking Clark wasn't going to say yes, became so angry. That was her only way out. All the rage she had felt for Clark came out of her, "You love me. You say it all the time! Maybe you think you do, I don't even know anymore. You don't even know what love is, Clark! If you really loved me, you wouldn't treat me like this! You wouldn't have made me go to the clinic alone, because you were too busy! You would have let me decided if I wanted to keep MY baby! But no! It didn't fit into your life, and you always get your way! You wouldn't have made me choose between you and everything else I know, my parents, my friends! You wouldn't always put me second to your father! You wouldn't treat me like property and just use me for sex! You wouldn't just spend time with me when it's convenient for you. If you really loved me, you would open this box right now, and let me leave." Lana shoved the box towards him.  
  
_You Thought .  
You try to answer slow  
You put your head down low  
C'mon take your time try to choose the most believable lie  
You try to walk away and tell me everything's okay  
You think you're saved by words but you're drowning in the absurd_  
  
Clark felt like his heart was going to break, as he looked at Lana's tear streaked face.  
He smashed open the box, and stepped out of her way. Lana grabbed the key that was inside the box. Lana couldn't take her eyes off Clark; she stared at him in pure shock. She had hoped, but never really thought Clark would just let her leave, not now, not after she had tried so many times before, not after everything.  
  
_But to me it's no big surprise  
You thought I never saw your eyes  
Departed with a smile  
Just like walking down the aisle  
You shook the preacher's hand  
But your smile can't hide your sin  
Your eyes tell me what you feel  
Your eyes tell me what is real  
Nobody's perfect is your prediction  
Your life is proving your conviction!  
To me it's no big surprise  
I saw the emptiness in your eyes_  
  
She ran into the next room, and opened a whole in the wall, it looked like a safe. She inserted the key and turned. Lana's heart sunk as she saw you had to have positive I.D. match, with your fingerprints. Clark's was undoubtedly the only one's accepted. He wasn't letting her go; he was just playing with her.  
Clark was watching her, "What?" He asked, as Lana looked at him with more hate that he thought was possible.  
"It needs your fingerprints, but you knew that." Lana buried her face in her hands, and she began to cry again.  
Clark walked over and set his hand on the electric pad, as it made a beep and the safe opened.  
Lana didn't waste any time as she grabbed the papers and documents that were in the safe, and shoved them into her purse.  
"Where will you go?" Clark asked.  
"You know I'm going to my parents. Or why else would you have kept these" She gestured towards the papers. "from me? So I could never find them."  
Clark reached into his back pocket, and handed her his wallet, "It has some credit cards in it."  
Lana looked baffled.  
"You'll need money. Lana, whatever I've done, I'm so sorry." He paused a moment, and when Lana didn't pull back, he kissed her on the cheek.  
Lana looked at Clark, like she wanted to say something, but instead she ran out of the room, and when Clark looked out the window, he saw a Porsche, with Lana in it, pulling out of the drive way.  
  
_Why do I have to beg  
When all that's left  
Is a memory forsaken _  
  
TBC...  
okay, you know the drill, please R&R  
Song lyrics by Disturbed (as you can tell, I love 'em) lol


	22. The Way Out

  
  
Clark couldn't take this reality anymore. He kept getting these memories, whenever he was unlucky enough to touch the wrong object. They were so horrible; he was so horrific, they way he treated Lionel, the way he acted, talked, and ruined people's lives just for his pure amusement.  
  
Clark didn't know what scared him more, that this was his future, if he didn't change, or how when he got the memories, the way they made him feel. They made him feel like the Clark Luther who would do those things, who would hurt Lana so many times, who had loyalty to Lionel over everything else. It scared him, because while he was feeling those emotions, it just seemed like everything was set in stone, because he didn't have a problem with it. Once the memory would stop, he could always feel himself shudder at what he had done and thought; it made him sick.  
He had to find Todd, and they had to find a way out. He wasn't going to wait around this time, there wasn't a chance in hell of that. Clark grabbed the keys on the small table, by the door. Another memory swept over him.  
  
####memory####  
  
Clark threw the keys on the table, and took off his coat, as he walked over to Lana on the couch.  
She was sprawled out, and didn't seem to notice him enter the room. Clark sat down on the couch, and placed his hand on her neck and chin, as he gently shook her head, until she opened her eyes.  
"Clark." She sounded so different.  
"Baby, are you high?" Clark asked, as Lana tried to pull herself together.  
"Yeah." Lana sounded so intimidated.  
Clark didn't' comment further; he slid Lana off the couch and into his arms, as he walked towards their bedroom.  
Lana didn't even seem aware of what was happening, "Clark... I want out... I miss my old life..." She put one arm around Clark's neck for support.  
"Shut up, you're just high. If you weren't so damn addicted to that shit, you could actually think right once in a while." Clark roughly threw her on the bed.  
Clark stripped down to his boxers; before his attention went back to Lana, "Stop crying." He said coldly.  
Lana immediately looked away from him.  
####end memory####'damnit' Clark thought. 'Not another one.' It only gave him more incentive to find Todd, and get the hell out of this reality, and back to his normal life. Clark hopped into the Ferrari, and sped threw Smallville way over the speed limit. He stopped in front of Todd's house. Clark was crossing his fingers, hoping he still lived there, as he knocked on the door.  
"Can I help you?" Todd's mother asked.  
"Is Todd there?" Clark asked with a forced smile.  
"Yeah" His mother went back inside the house and Todd came out a minute later.  
"Todd, we have to figure out how to get out of this." Clark said, urgency apparent in his voice.  
"Clark, the last time it just happened by itself. Let's just wait again." Todd suggested.  
"No. I'm not waiting around in this hell hole, just so I can bounce around in other realities forever!" Clark said frustrated.  
"Well I don't' know what else to do." Todd said.  
Clark was silent for a moment, thinking, and then said, "The explosion... it's what sent us here, so maybe if it happens again, we can go back."  
"Clark, I'm not going to blow myself up!" Todd couldn't believe Clark had just suggested it.   
"You want to stay here? It's the only way I see, so unless u got a better idea." Clark said, annoyed how Todd shot down his idea so quickly.  
"Clark, we could get killed." Todd pointed out, not realizing that only Todd was the one in any danger.  
"How can we die in a place that isn't even real?" Clark said.  
"I'm not doing it, Clark." Todd said, looking at Clark like he was crazy.  
"If we die, there will be no more future for us to see, so we could go back to our real lives." Clark tried to persuade him.  
"Or we could just die." Todd stood firm, "You can go and get yourself killed, but I'm not."  
"Fine." Clark felt almost betrayed, as he stomped off, angry.  
Clark had no doubt in his mind; he would rather die than lives this.  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Clark stopped his Ferrari outside the back of Smallville's biggest power company. He chose it for 2 reasons. 1) If you want an explosion, what better than thousands of volts going threw your body? 2) Clark knew that there were meteor rocks all around the place; he wasn't taking any chances, this had to work.  
Clark opened his door and stepped out. He walked to the fence, and then out of instinct he opened the passenger door, to leave his coat in there. He immediately regretted it as another memory washed over him.  
#####memory####  
  
Clark opened the passenger door for Lana, as she stepped out in a beautiful dress, that was short, but had long sleeves, to undoubtedly cover up her substance abuse problem. She was smiling, but Clark knew the difference between a real smile and her forced publicity smile.  
Clark wrapped his arm around Lana's waist as cameras flashed everywhere. By the looks of it, they were in Metropolis for some important PR event.  
Clark flashed his charming smile, the whole time, until they entered the main room and sat down at a table.  
A middle aged couple approached them, "Clark, you look great, as usual. Lana, I'm glad to see you are doing better after your... episode." The couple walked off. Clark felt so ashamed and embarrassed.  
Lana couldn't keep up her fake smile any more, as her elbows were on the table and her hands in her hair, as she looked down.  
"Lana, don't you dare start crying." Clark whispered into her ear, threateningly, "My father still isn't letting me forget what happened last time."  
"Why does everything have to include him?" Lana said a little too loudly for Clark's liking.  
"Lana, I swear if you start a scene..." Clark wasn't about to finish his sentence in public, no matter how quietly he said it.  
"Clark, Can I just go?" Lana pleaded, tears dangerously threatening to fall.  
"No." Clark said angry, more at her watery eyes than her request. He grabbed her by the wrist, and led her threw the crowd, smiling the whole time, everyone else oblivious. Half way threw the crowd, Lana stopped, "Clark, you're hurting me" She gestured toward her arm, red from lack of circulation.  
Clark didn't say anything, or even loosen his grip; he just gave her a death stare before he put his smile back on, and continued to lead Lana to a back room, just after the restrooms.  
He tried to shut the door, but Lana protested in panic, "Clark, no. I'm fine." She lied.  
Clark shut the door, and pinned her against the wall, "You are not going to screw this up, Lana. They see you, and then they think I'm weak like you." Clark gripped her arm harder.  
"Oh.." Lana squirmed in his grip, "I can't help it." She cried.  
"You will." Clark said, "Stop crying."  
####end memory####  
  
Clark's latest memory from his living nightmare, only gave him more incentive to go threw with his plan.  
He ripped threw the steel, mesh fence. Clark barely had enough strength to rip threw the wire, as the meteor rocks drained him of his energy. He pulled the thickest wire he saw, as thousands of volts of electricity pulsed threw him, along with all the pain it caused.  
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&TBC...  
sorry it was so short, I didn't' have very much time to write, but I had to write, it's been a few days since I updated. Okay, next chap I'll give it my all, promise. So sorry for this one. 


	23. For Her Sake

okay, once again another short chapter. Next one will be longer, promise. I just am really crammed for time.  
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Clark could hear distant noises and murmuring, but nothing distinct, that he could understand. He felt like he had gone blind, because all he saw was black. He started to panic, and found he couldn't move either. Fear raced threw his mind. Hour after hour, the fear pulsed threw him, never letting up. Finally he started to feel the different parts of his body again, even if he couldn't move them, it made him feel a little better. Eventually he started moving parts of his body, it was so slow though, maybe it was only a few minutes or days, Clark didn't know, but to him it felt like an eternity.

He started to see his eternal darkness, become a little lighter every now and then, until finally he could opened his eyes and the sunlight shone down on him so bright, it made him immediately shut them again, but in fear that he wouldn't be able to open them again, he opened them again.  
He recognized the room; it was were all his medical tests were done. He hard the beeps and rumbling of the machinery hooked up to him. He reached up and tried to pull the tube that was in his nose out, but was too weak.  
"Clark." An all too familiar voice said with a mixture of surprise, excitement, and sorrow.  
Clark didn't have enough energy to look over, but he knew it was Lana. He felt her squeeze his hand, "Are you awake?"  
Clark squeezed her hand back, and opened his eyes a slit.  
"Clark." She whispered with such tenderness, "You are awake."  
Clark listened as he heard a chair scrape across the floor, as it moved backwards, "He's awake. I saw him open his eyes, and he squeezed my hand." Lana said to some unknown person.  
"Honey, there are still no changes in his vitals, and his heart rate is still abnormally slow, from the coma." The voice sounded almost like she pitied Lana.  
"No, look." Clark felt warmth, as he guessed two bodies were standing over him, so he opened his eyes.  
"You're right." Clark heard a voice say. He couldn't see anything, the sunlight was blinding him, and he didn't have the strength to turn his head. "I have to call Mr. Luther right away, he told me to inform him immediately if there were any changes."  
That was all Clark remembered before drifting back to sleep. But it wasn't like the eternal blackness he had grown accustomed too, it was a soothing darkness, and the sleep strengthened him.  
Once he woke, he felt so much more strength. It wasn't even close to what he was used to, but it was enough.  
He propped himself up in his bed, as he looked out, the glass window, to see Lionel talking to a nurse. It felt horrible to look at his face and think betrayal, when he once found comfort in it. His chest hurt, there was so much pressure on it, like a ton of bricks. He felt relief in intervals that coincided with the pump at the side of his bed, which thrust oxygen into his lungs.  
Lionel locked eyes with Clark, and entered the room.  
"Clark, how do you feel?" Lionel rested hand on his left shoulder.  
"Like..." Clark found it so hard to talk, "being... alone." He managed to get out.  
"What?" Lionel looked confused, and almost a little hurt. "I'll be back in a few hours to check on you." And he left.  
Clark sunk back down into his bed. He couldn't just be totally cold to Lionel. In this life, Lionel hadn't done anything to him. Not really. But that was the kind of person he was, and he would turn Clark into.  
Clark was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the door creak open, and the love of his life walked in.  
"Clark." She said with tears in her eyes, as she hugged him tight.  
"Lana." Clark croaked out. He couldn't get anymore words out, not at the moment, but he did give her the biggest smile he had ever used in his life.  
"How do you feel?" She sat on the edge of his bed, as one hand was on the back of his neck, playing with his hair, and the other on his knee.  
"Better." Clark said, but Lana couldn't understand him.  
"It's okay, you don't have to talk." She smiled at him, "I'm just so glad you're awake."  
She hugged him again. Clark held on to her tight, taking everything about her in. The way she always put her right hand higher on your back, than her left, when she hugged. The way she smelled; he swore that just her sweet smell was a mood elevator. When he couldn't hold on any longer, he let go and leaned against his bed.  
It was so weird; Clark couldn't stay awake, no matter how much he wanted to talk with Lana. He found himself being pulled into slumber; Lana was the last thing he saw. He had never had so little control over his body, except for the effect the meteors had on him, or should he say kryptonite?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Clark woke a day later. It was so incredible how much a day could do for you, strengthen you, refresh you. His chest felt better, but not healed.  
"Can I take this off?" Clark gestured to the IV in his wrist. How did they even get it in?  
The nurse turned towards him, "No. Leave that in, it's to make sure you don't get dehydrated. I see you are feeling better."  
"Yeah. Um...how long have I been asleep?" Clark asked, wishing Lana was still there.  
"About 18 hours." The nurse informed him, as she took his blood pressure.  
"Was anyone here?" Clark asked.  
"Lana stayed for about an hour after you fell asleep. Your father was here most of the night. Lex left about half an hour ago." She said.  
"Oh..." Clark again felt guilty about Lionel. Clark thought about everything. Now it seemed so far away, in the back of his head. It wasn't nearly as vivid as before, yet it stuck in his memory, but the intensity had decreased significantly. It was like a dream, where you can remember it, but only if you really try, and even then you have to run it threw your mind a few times for it to really stick in your real memory. Clark hadn't a doubt that it was all real... well what real would have been. 'It was all just a bad nightmare' never once crossed his mind.   
Clark began to get bored; the nurse brought him in a TV, but he was still bored, so he just fell back to sleep, with nothing better to do.  
Clark slowly fluttered his eyes open, as he felt soft hands cup his face, and squeeze his hand.  
"Lana." Clark pulled her in for a hug, and then gave her a slow, gently kiss that he poured all his love into.  
Clark looked at Lana, and saw tears running down her cheeks. He knew they were of joy, but he couldn't help but see the image of the future him telling her to stop crying. It made him love her tears, at that moment. "I love you so much." He hugged her again.  
"I love you too." She whispered in his ear.  
It was like one of those moments, where you realize how much you really love a person. You thought you knew before, but then you realize you weren't even close. You know one day was worth dieing for, and you should just be happy you knew her at all. You know in your heart, you'd die for that person, and devote your whole life to their happiness, even if it meant giving up your own.  
In that instant you realize that pain is the only way to happiness. And even though it feels like someone took a thousand steak knifes to your heart, you know the thing you love the most, need the most, you have to give up. You died inside yourself, but you'd die again for her, just to keep her from the demons.  
So Clark cherished Lana, as he held her in his arms for maybe the last time. If there was even a chance that Lana could end up how she did in the future, because of him... he knew he had to say good-bye forever.  
&  
&  
&TBC 


	24. Severance

&  
&  
&

"Hey, Judy, I'm here to see Clark." Lana greeted Clark's nurse, whom she had befriended during Clark's two week coma.  
"Oh, Lana, he told me he didn't want any visitors." Judy told her.  
"Oh, tell him it's me." Lana smiled.  
Judy didn't return her smile though, "Lana, he said no one."  
"Oh." Lana couldn't hide the hurt on her face, and Judy tried to comfort her,  
"He is probably just having a bad day, he's still having chest pains and all."  
"You're probably right." Lana brushed it off, she'd just come back tomorrow when he was feeling better. He must have been pretty bad off, if he didn't even want to see her.

_I wish I had what I needed  
To be on my own  
'Cause I feel so defeated  
And I'm feeling alone_  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark watched Lana leave, and his nurse re-enter his room. He turned away from her gaze, he couldn't take it. She had been his nurse all his life, and one of the few women he ever trusted.  
She walked over to him, and slowly pulled out the tube that connected to his I.V., but left the needle in, so she could give him his treatments for tomorrow.  
"How are you feeling?" She asked, but the way she said it, it felt like it went beyond normal nurse and patient talk.  
"A lot better." Clark said truthfully, "It doesn't hurt when I take deep breathes anymore, and the numbness in my legs is almost completely gone."  
"And emotionally?" She asked caringly.  
"I'm fine." Clark lied. Why would she ask him that?  
"You sure?" She asked.  
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Clark said, raising an eye brow, putting on his mask that hid all his emotions.  
"I don't know. But you won't let Lana see you, or your father. Lex is about the only one you will see." She pointed out.  
Clark didn't like her sudden interest in his personal life, "So what." He said defensively.  
  
_And I'm feeling alone  
And it all seems so helpless  
And I have no plans  
I'm a plane in the sunset  
With no where to land _  
  
"I'm just saying... you seem..." Judy didn't know how to say it without insulting Clark. She had watched him grow up over the years, and he became such a spoiled brat, and was always daddy's little boy. She never thought much of Clark, but she had a fondness, that you can't help but get after helping someone grow up, and seeing what it was really like for them, "different." She finished.  
_  
And all I see  
It could never make me happy  
And all my sandcastles  
Spend their time collapsing_  
  
Even if Clark had only been awake from his coma a week, and he hadn't gotten out of bed yet, she definitely noticed a big change in his personality. Usually he was outspoken, and being as spoiled as he was, demanded things all the time, and criticized her when he was in any pain, blaming her. When he was little and anything went wrong, he would scream for his father, and yes he wasn't quite that juvenile in his father's companionship anymore, but some things never change, or so she thought.  
What could have possibly made him want to drive away the two people who had been in his life the most? She was on the top of the list of people, who despised Lionel, but he was even worse when things didn't go his way; and Clark refusing to see him, definitely made him more irritable.  
  
_Let me know that You hear me  
Let me know Your touch  
Let me know that You love me  
And let that be enough _  
  
Clark was the opposite, barely showing any emotion, which to her, struck her as the most drastic change. She couldn't even count how many times his temper would get out control, even as a small child and he would throw a fit, or scream, or curse at her. They never had to be big things either; tiny things regular people, who weren't spoiled to death, wouldn't have thought twice about.  
"Bad different?" Clark snapped her out of her thoughts.  
"No" she said honestly. "and yes." She never told the truth about the Luthors, due to their hot tempers, but Clark's personality change swayed her judgment.  
"What did Lana say?" Clark couldn't resist asking any longer. It was the 4th time he had refused to see her, and she had to have known by now, that none of it was an accident.  
"She was hurt; and worried about you. Kept asking if you were improving, and to let her know when you'll be up to seeing her." Judy said, finally seeing a tad of emotion coming off of Clark.  
Clark looked away, obviously miserable.  
"Clark" She walked over to his bed, "Lots of people experience depression after traumatic events, such as yours. It's very common." Judy knew that even if Clark knew he was depressed, he would never admit it. Lionel had always treated things like that as weaknesses.  
Clark's lack of denial was as good as a red flag, that he was depressed and knew it. Her heart went out for him.  
"I'm not sure if medication would work, normally I would say no, your metabolism is too fast for any drug to work, but now, I think it might help." She said.  
"No." Clark didn't like her treating him like that, like he was weak. "I'm fine." He felt the need to prove it, as he slid his legs off the bed, and set his feet on the cold ground, and tried to stand up. He was holding on to the metal bar on his bed, for support.  
"Clark, sit down, you don't want to over due it." She noticed Clark's arm shaking a great deal, as it tried to support him.  
Clark's body forced him to sit back down, and Clark felt the challenge though, and he had failed.  
Why was his body acting like this? It never had been so weak for so long. Was something really wrong? He tried to ignore his fearful thoughts, but he couldn't and they just added to his heart full of pain.  
  
_I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress  
Nobody's listening  
Hand full of anger, Held in my chest  
Nobody's listening  
Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears  
Nobody's listening  
Nothing to gain, everything to fear  
Nobody's listening_  
  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

** 4 days later **  
  
"Clark." Lionel said rather coldly as he entered the Clark's normal room, "What's going on with you?"  
"What?" Clark was using the patience he had learned over his experience, to prevent screaming at his father.  
"When you were sick, I let it go." Lionel said, taking a step closer to Clark, "But there is something definitely wrong with you. You haven't even had a real conversation with me since you woke up."  
Clark just shrugged his shoulders, not trusting what he would say.  
"If something happened to you in your accident, you better tell me." Lionel threatened.  
"Why?" Clark challenged.  
"Because, I'm your father and I can't protect you unless I know what's going on." He said, but Clark thought it just all sounded so fake.  
"And I can't trust you until you tell me the truth." Clark countered.  
"Listen, I don't know what kind of rebelliously teenage phase you are going through, but you better remember who you're dealing with." Lionel didn't even try and mask his inner evil, he was getting sloppy and Clark smiled at that thought.  
"Trust me, I've never known so clearly who I was really dealing with." Clark said it in the way, that told you knew more than you said.  
"I don't know what you think you are trying to accomplish, but I would take a step back, son." Lionel said coldly as he left the room.  
Clark hadn't really thought of what he wanted. He was 70% sure he could bring his father down for murder. But was that what he really wanted? He hadn't thought past the immediate future. Clark was slowly getting past his anger for Lionel, and it was horrible. Because after the anger, all that's left is sorrow. Clark wished he could stay mad forever, so he never had to feel the pain of losing a father, emotionally, at least. He knew it sounded bad, but he wished he never knew how evil Lionel was, how Lana could end up, that he loved the Kents.  
All it did was torture him. He couldn't love Lionel anymore; he couldn't let Lana know how much he loved her, and the Kents would never love him in the way he loved them. They wouldn't even love him at all.  
It's true, what you don't know, can't hurt you.  
  
_And I feel stuck  
Watching history repeat me  
Yeah, who am I?  
Just a kid who knows he's needy _  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Clark finally had enough strength to go back to school, and he had never wanted to go back more. He needed the distraction. There was still a panic nerve going off in his brain, because he hadn't regained any of his powers, or his super strength. At best he was in the condition of an average person, and that thought didn't give him any comfort.  
He felt a small hand grab his arm, and turn him around, as he was face to face with Lana, who was moments away from tears, "Clark, what did I do? Why do you hate me all of the sudden?"  
Clark had rehearsed this confrontation, but he wasn't ready for it, "I don't hate you Lana."  
"Then why won't you talk to me? Let me see you?" Lana felt so rejected.  
"Lana..." Clark gathered all the courage he had, as he prepared to do something he never thought possible. He felt like Clark Kent, "The accident changed me... I... I just realize that we aren't meant to be together."  
"What?" Lana wiped a tear off her cheek, something Clark resisted doing.  
"I'm sorry." He tried to act as if it was easy for him.  
"But..." Lana shook her head, confused, hurt, and a little angry, "When you woke up, you told me you loved me. The way you kissed me... how can you say that, Clark?"  
"I..." Clark couldn't think of an answer that wouldn't hurt her more, and would fulfill his plans.  
"After everything we've been through?" Lana couldn't believe Clark could just so easily brush her aside, "I still don't get it... even if you don't want to date me... I was your friend before I was your girlfriend, Clark." She said, wanting him to give her a real explanation, "Why would you just completely ignore me? You don't even want to be friends?" Lana felt that was what Clark was wanting, complete severance of their friendship.  
Clark had learned to be patient, and to control his temper, and his outbursts, but he had a re-lapse, "Because, I can't be friends with you without wanting more!" He yelled as he walked away from her.  
Lana had never felt so rejected, hurt, and humiliated, as she stood there in the hallway crying as people all stared at her, because of how Clark blew up at her.  
He confused her so much, and she knew he wasn't telling her the truth. Clark tried to hide what he felt, but his eyes gave him away. He was the one who was so willingly to just throw away everything they had, yet he was yelling at her?  
Lana didn't know what was going on with Clark, because he wouldn't let her, and she knew he had a reason for that. When he was sick, she was so sure once she talked to him, he would just apologize and say he didn't mean to blow her off time and time again, that he loved her, not break up with her.  
Lana couldn't forget their moment after he had woken up. She was going to find out the real reason, maybe it was what he said, but she couldn't believe that in her heart. If he really could just forget her so quickly, then she would gladly end their friendship, if he could pretend like that, fake all the emotions they shared together, he wasn't anyone she ever wanted to be with.  
  
_Let me know that You hear me  
Let me know Your touch  
Let me know that You love me  
And let that be enough..._  
  
&  
&  
&TBC . . .  
  
Song lyrics by Linkin park and Switchfoot,.  
Okay please R&R I love your feedback, it inspires me to write more 


	25. Confrontations

&  
&  
&** 2 weeks later **  
  
_There are just too many,  
Times that people,  
Have tried to look inside of me,  
Wondering what I think of you,  
When I protect you out of courtesy,  
To many times that I've,  
Held on when I needed to push away,  
Afraid to say what was on my mind,  
Afraid to say what I need to say,   
Too many,  
Things that you've said about me,  
When I'm not around,  
You think having the upper hand,  
Means you gotta keep putting me down,  
But I've had too many,  
Stand-offs with you,   
Its about as much as I can stand,  
So I'm waiting until the upper hand,  
Is mine _  
  
Clark stepped out of the locker rooms, after another football practice, in which he completely sucked, and messed up every move he tried to do. His strength still wasn't back, along with all his other abilities. He got chest pains every now and then, and other things, but all in all he was doing okay, for a normal person. But Clark wasn't normal, so he was worried.  
No one on his team would say anything, but Clark was quickly turning from the hero of the football team, to the worst player, and they all whispered among themselves. They knew about his coma and the car explosion, like everyone else, so they just assumed that's what it was, and it was true, to some extent.  
Lana couldn't help but notice Clark's decline in performance, too. She was so worried about him. Every time she would try and talk to him, he would practically run away. Lana's initial anger was gone. She noticed how Clark came to school every day, and went to every class, and it surprised her. They had 4 classes together, so you would think it would be so easy to talk to each other, or at least get the opportunity, but Clark made sure that didn't happen.  
She was annoyed, depressed, and curious. She knew he still loved her, despite everything he did that said otherwise. She would glance over in class and see Clark staring at her. He would immediately turn away, pretending it never happened. But she how he looked at her, it was the way he always looked at her right before he gave her a kiss, or told her he loved her. But it had so much loneliness and sorrow mixed in.  
Clark grabbed his gym bag as he walked across the football field, to his car. He wasn't used to having to ride a car everywhere. He stopped by the bleachers and rubbed his chest right over his heart, as he felt pain shoot threw it. He gave a groan of pain as he waited the pain out, it never lasted longer than 30 seconds, and he would be alright again.  
He sighed as the pain stopped, and he picked up his bag, ready to leave, when he heard her.  
"Clark, are you okay?" Lana asked. This was not the first time she had seem this.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I gotta go." Clark started walking away from her quickly.  
"Clark." The tone of her voice was begging him to talk to her.  
"Lana..." He looked at her, and his eyes told her what he wouldn't, "I can't" he said, but his eyes, his soul, they screamed, 'But I want to.'  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

_One minute you're on top!!!  
The next you're not,  
Watch it drop,   
Making your heart stop!!!  
Just before you hit the floor,  
One minute you're on top!!!  
The next you're not,  
Missed your shot,  
Making you're heart stop!!!  
You think you've won,  
And then its all gone!! _  
  
"Hey, Lex." Clark said, pleasantly surprised to find his older brother in the mansion.  
"Hey, thought I'd stop by and see how you were doing." Lex asked, without really asking.  
"I'm the same. You should see me at football practice... it's so embarrassing." Clark confided.  
"Well, don't worry. Pretty soon you'll be back to normal. Your body just needs time to recover." Lex gave Clark hope, but as far as he knew, it could very well be false hope.  
"Yeah." Clark smiled. "So what are you up to?"  
"I'm putting together the new board, for my branch of LuthorCorp. It's a real pain in the ass." Lex laughed.  
  
_So many,  
People like me,  
Put so much trust in all your lies,  
So concerned on what you think,  
To just say what we feel inside,  
So many,  
People like me,  
Walk on eggshells all day long,  
All I know is that all I want,  
Is to feel like I'm not stepped on,   
There are so many,  
Things you say,  
That make me feel you've crossed the line,  
What goes up will surely fall,  
And I'm counting down the time,  
'Cause I've had so many,  
Stand-offs with you,  
Its about as much as I can stand,  
So I'm waiting until the upper hand,  
Is mine, _  
  
"Lex... is it possible for us to take over LutherCorp completely?" Clark had wanted to ask it for a long time.  
"First off, you can't own anything, you aren't even 17 yet." Lex laughed, "And second, it's basically impossible; it would only happen when we inherit it all. Why do you want to know?"  
"Ah, no reason." Clark lied.  
"So it doesn't have anything to do with this little war you and Lionel are waging?" Lex said, knowingly. Clark smirked, yes. "What's going on with you two? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you realize there is another side to our father, but it's just so sudden."  
Clark hadn't told Lex about what he had seen while in the coma; he hadn't told anyone, "He's just so... ah!" Clark said frustrated, "He gets away with everything, and I have no power over him, he can do whatever he wants."  
Lex chuckled, "You just realized that."  
"Well I guess I just never wanted to." Clark said, "He's getting dangerous, Lex." It was an important issue that needed discussing.  
"I know what you mean. You are getting to him in a way I never dream of. I'd be careful though, Clark." Lex warned, "He's powerful and he knows how to get his way."  
"I'm not worried. I'm his kid, it's not like he can exile me like he does with other people." Clark was confident.  
Lex wasn't so sure though. Clark wasn't realizing how much power Lionel still had over him.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
  
Clark sat down next to Todd's hospital bed, in Smallville's medical center. Todd's condition still hadn't changed. He had been in a coma for about a month and a half. Clark didn't know if he was only alive because he used to have a abilities and strength, or if he had caused the explosion that sent him back.  
If Clark had to guess, he would have said, that Todd could wake up, if he did what he had done, but he was too scared, and didn't have enough motivation to go threw with it. He was probably going to bounce around in different realities until he got the courage, or if that never happened? forever.  
Clark got up, and left the small hospital room, after his usual visit, depressed. Yet another friend gone.   
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
  
Clark popped in his Disturbed CD, as he sat down in front of his game system. Clark had never been addicted to video games, but he found now, that he had to be doing something all the time, or he fell into doubt and depression.  
Lionel stormed into the room, obviously angry, "Clark, I don't know what you are trying to prove, but this." He held up a magazine with Clark on it, "is not even funny. You know what this is going to do to my stocks, and my PR firm is going into panic."  
  
_I know I'll never trust a single thing you say,  
You knew your lies would divide us,  
But you lied anyway,  
And all the lies have got you floating up above us all,  
But what goes up has got to fall _  
  
Clark couldn't help but smile, as he remembered what he had done. He was in New York yesterday, over the weekend. He was being forced to attend some fancy art show he had never heard of before. It was supposed to be the greatest thing ever, and if you were someone, you were there. Clark said he would go, and he did. The magazine his father was holding, showed his extremely casual attire he had showed up in, at the strict suit and tie dress code.  
Clark knew how big a deal it was, and did it solely to piss his father off. By the look in Lionel's eyes, Clark guessed that it was here and now, that the past 3 weeks had all been leading up to. The big fight. Clark was ready.  
  
_And then its all gone  
Now its all gone....... _  
  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
  
song lyrics by Linkin park "Hit the floor"  
Continue with all your awesome feedback! 


	26. Exchanging Blows

"Clark." Lionel grabbed Clark by the back of the neck, "You keep family differences private."  
"You call murder a family difference?" Clark said, pushing Lionel's hand off of him.  
Lionel's eyes turned unreadable, "What are you talking about."  
Clark smiled, but he wasn't ready to go there yet.  
"You are out of control." Lionel stared at Clark, making him feel uneasy.  
"What! I've never been more responsible! I actually go to school now! Why don't you just say it! You are pissed because I'm not acting like daddy's little boy!" Clark yelled, drastically changing the mood, "What's the matter, dad? Are you letting your emotions mess you up? I thought Luthors didn't do that." Clark couldn't have said it with more disrespect.  
Lionel grabbed Clark's arm, "I'm sure you think you've got all your bases covered, but I'd drop this attitude of yours. You don't even know what you want to accomplish, by taking me on."  
"What are you going to do, dad?" Clark challenged, as Lionel's death grip was actually hurting him, but he didn't want to show it, so he didn't move.  
Lionel's eye flashed with knowledge, "I'm warning you, Clark."  
"Warning me to what? You can't force me to love you." Clark said confidently, as he couldn't stand Lionel's grip on him any longer, and forced him to release his arm, by pushing him square in the chest.  
"You will cooperate." He regained his balance and grabbed Clark's left shoulder, as he pushed backwards, forcing him against the wall.  
Clark resisted the groan of pain, but his face couldn't hide it, as he felt the corner of a bookshelf stabbing into his back. Clark tried to move, and managed to step forward a foot, but Lionel slammed him back against the wall, "Do you understand?" Lionel threatened, as he had one arm across Clark's chest forcing him against the bookshelf.  
Clark heard the sound of breaking glass, before he felt it dig into his skin. It took him a second, to figure out; it must have been the vase on the shelf, which he was now being crushed into.  
"No." Clark felt so alive, denying Lionel for the very first time. Clark couldn't think of a better response, as Lionel applied more pressure and Clark felt something hot and wet run down his back.  
Clark found himself desperately wishing for his super strength, as the realization that his father was stronger than him, set in.  
Clark pushed Lionel away, as he switched spots, and grabbed Lionel's right arm, as he raised his own to hit him, but he was distracted by the sound of a door opening, and Lex said rather loudly, "Clark."  
Clark turned around, leaving him vulnerable, as Lionel shoved Clark away from him. Clark lost his balance and fell hard; crashing threw the rather large glass table.  
"Clark." Lex said with concern, as he raced across the room, to Clark.  
"What is going on?" Lex looked up at his father, for an explanation.   
Lionel just stood there and watched, as Clark slowly, and by the looks of it, painfully got up from the broken shards of glass. He tried to prop himself up with one arm, but immediately retracted it as he felt glass slice threw his hand.  
Lex gave him a hand, helping him up. Clark just gave Lionel a look of hatred as he stormed out.  
"What the hell happened?" Lex asked again.  
"He was out of control." Lionel said calmly. "You saw him try and hit me."  
"Yeah, and I also saw that Clark was the only one bleeding." Lex looked down to the carpet, which had absorbed Clark's blood, " That wasn't an answer, either. What happened?"  
"I don't know. He just blew up. I should get him a psychiatric evaluation." Lionel blamed the situation on Clark; But Lex didn't believe him.  
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Clark locked the bathroom door, and he pulled off his shirt slowly; when he raised his arms above his head, as he took off his shirt, his back spiked with pain.  
He sighed, once his shirt was off, and turned around, looking over his shoulder in the mirror. Clark couldn't help but feel more pain, as he saw his back; it was completely cut up. He found that there were pieces of glass still imbedded in his back, he wasn't sure if it was from the vase, or the table, but he removed all that he could, there were still places he couldn't reach.  
He looked down at the sink and counter surrounding it, and then to the floor. With all the blood, Clark thought, it looked like someone had been murdered, so he grabbed a towel that as nearby and started to clean it up. He threw his bloody shirt in the trash, as he heard a knock on the locked door, and Lex, "Clark, are you okay?"   
"Yeah, I'm fine." Clark lied.  
"Clark, what happened?" Lex asked through the door, since Clark obviously wasn't going to open it.  
"I don't want to talk about it." Clark was taking it all in. It happened so fast, and the situation quickly escalated into something dangerous. Even though Clark didn't love Lionel, like he had before, it still hurt when your own father could do something like that to you. Even though Clark had gotten the worse of fight, he still felt like he won, because Lionel had let his emotions take over, and get the best of him. He lost control.  
Like it or not, Clark realized that, Lionel was emotionally attached and involved, which made him all the more dangerous. Because he was his son (and his favorite at that), everything Clark did would have more of an impact on Lionel. It was an advantage and a disadvantage at the same time.  
Lionel would be more motivated to fix things, which meant, make them worse. But he wouldn't be at the top of his game, and he was bound to make more mistakes than usual.   
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As Clark walked threw the halls, to lunch, he felt reassured that his action in quitting the football team, was the right thing to do. If he got better, he could join again, but just walking down the halls, hurt.  
Once he grabbed his food, he chose a table in the back, which no one was sitting at. He didn't feel like sitting with his "friends". He wanted to be alone, to think.  
Clark just sat there, totally engrossed in thought, as he stared at his food, which he had no interest in eating.  
A small figure slid across from him at the table, "Clark, don't even try and make some lame excuse why you have to leave. We have to talk." Lana said firmly.  
Clark was caught off guard, "Lana." Although he didn't particularly trust himself around Lana, or what he would say, he gave in, because he really missed her, and if he had ever needed Lana, it was now. Even if all she did was yell at him, it would still make him feel better, just being by her. "Ok." He said, not quite making eye contact with her.  
Lana hadn't quite thought of what she was going to say, all she really planned was to force him to talk to her, "Are you okay?"  
Clark was immensely surprised by her question. He had expected her to demand more of an explanation from him. But then she was Lana. She never pushed you, when she knew you couldn't handle it. She had always noticed the slightest change in mood from him, when they were dating. She always made his feelings more important than hers. He found himself wishing she had yelled at him, because then he wouldn't find himself loving her more.  
"Yeah. Sure." Clark lied.  
"Clark, please. At least tell me the truth on this. I know you're not... back to ..." Lana didn't know how to word it, "Your abilities are still gone."  
Lana wanted to know the real truth behind Clark's break up with her, but she had to know if he was even getting better, from the explosion.  
Clark found himself getting weaker, in his decision to stay away from her, the decision that had once seemed so clear, now left doubt in his mind. But to him, it just made him think that it was even more possible that he could still become what he saw in the future, if he couldn't even resist for Lana's sake.  
Clark knew he owed her at least that much, "Yeah. They haven't come back yet. But I'm okay"  
Lana didn't know what to say next, it was all so hard. She had to do everything, "Clark, what's wrong?" Lana had so many different meanings for that question.  
Clark looked away, "Lana, I'm sorry."  
"Clark, why are you really doing this?" Lana finally asked what was killing her over the past few weeks.  
Clark looked like he was caught off guard, "Lana, I told you that-"  
"I know what you told me, and I also know that you are lying. If you don't want to be with me, fine. But at least give me the real reason." Lana wasn't going to let him tell her anymore lies.  
Clark was silent as he raced threw his options. He could tell her he just wasn't in love with her anymore, but she would know he was lying, unless he did something drastic, to convince her. But he wouldn't, he couldn't. He could just leave her in the dark, like she had been over the past month, but that wasn't fair to her, because she would never have closure. He had already made up his mind, to tell her the real truth, so she would understand why, so she could move on. He hadn't told her before because, he knew she would just deny it and say she would never become like that, and that he would never hurt her. Clark would have said the same thing before his coma; you never believe it, unless you see. Because it is all too drastic, but it all happens slowly, first it's just the little things, and then they get bigger and you say 'It isn't so bad' so you stay and continue on that same path until, like Lana, it's too late to get out, and the damage is already done.  
"Lana..." Clark whispered, "You deserve to know the truth..." But he definitely didn't want to have that conversation in a cafeteria, in front of everyone. He had already humiliated her once, in the hallway, "I'll come to your house after school." He proposed. He definitely didn't want to do it at the mansion; Lionel had been there in all his spare time, ever since Clark had woken up from his coma.  
"Okay." Lana said hopefully.  
They both just sat there in silence, but amazingly it wasn't awkward. They both just finished their lunches quietly, Clark would look at Lana but turn away when she made eye contact with him. He hated the fact that just sitting by her, made him feel better. It just showed he was never going to get over her, but that was okay, as long as she got over him. He didn't want to be with anyone else, anyway, so he guessed it didn't really matter if he ever got over her. She was his one true friend, his one true love. He was never going to tell anyone else, especially not a woman, about his abilities.  
Clark finally had to pull himself away from Lana, before he ruined everything. He got up quickly, and walked out of the cafeteria.  
Clark felt Lana behind him, and that was exactly what he was afraid of. He stopped in the deserted hallway, and turned to see Lana behind him, "Lana, look, we can't... do this."   
She ignore his comment, "You're bleeding." She looked worried for him.  
"What?" Clark didn't see any blood. She gently turned him around, and there were about 4 small blood spots that leaked threw his shirt. She lifted up his shirt, and couldn't prevent the gasp that escaped her throat.  
Clark immediately pulled his shirt back down, angry. He didn't like her looking at him, with pity.  
"Clark what happened to you?" Lana felt more fear, than when she saw the car explode, and she didn't know why.  
"Nothing." He said coldly.  
"Is that from the accident?" Lana knew it wasn't, it looked too new.  
"No." Clark didn't like lying to Lana, unless he absolutely had to. He began to walk away.  
"Clark, how did that happen?" She grabbed his arm. He had lied to her, when she asked him, if he was alright. He told her what she had wanted to hear, that he was okay.  
Clark looked at the wall, embarrassed and ashamed of the truth, "I... got in a fight."  
"With who?" Lana couldn't believe anyone would ever challenge Clark, he was a Luther.  
Clark wished she wouldn't have asked, "My dad." Clark confessed. When he saw the shock and horror on Lana's face, he couldn't take it, "It's not a big deal."  
"Clark..." Lana was just beginning to realize that Clark was going through something truly horrible and more complicated than she had even thought of, "I'm sorry."  
"No. Don't feel sorry for me." Clark hated that.  
"I..." Lana didn't know how to make him feel better, she wanted to hug him, like he had always done with her, but she couldn't.  
"I'll see you after school." Clark walked away, and he couldn't help feeling guilty, just by saying that sentence.  
&  
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&TBC...  
R&R please


	27. Explanations

_Looking back at me  
I see that I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win  
You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong like a drug that gets me high _  
  
Clark knocked on Lana's door, with sweaty hands.  
"Is Lana there?" Clark asked nervously, as Martha opened the door.  
"Yes... come on in." She said it politely, but Clark knew her voice held no fondness for him, why would it? It hurt.  
Clark stepped in the house, and it felt so strange. As he sat down on the couch, he was overcome with a powerful feeling of not belong, and being out of place, like he had never felt before. And that is saying a lot, when you are a Luther and the only one left of a species.  
"What are you doing here?" Jonathan asked coldly as he caught sight of Clark. He wasn't sure what was going on between him and Lana, but he did know that he had never seen his little girl in so much pain before, and Clark seemed to be the cause of that.  
Clark couldn't blame Jonathan for not wanting him around Lana, hell, he didn't want himself around her either, "Listen, I'm sorry I hurt Lana, but I'm not here to cause trouble." Clark hoped he wasn't lying.   
Lana came down the stairs, "Clark." She looked at her father, and then back to Clark, not sure what was coming, "Let's go in the loft, and talk."  
"Okay." Clark shot Jonathan a sincerely apologetic look, before following Lana out of the house.  
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_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way  
I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold _  
  
Clark walked up the flight of stairs that led to the loft. It definitely didn't look like it had, when it was "Clark Kent's fortress of solitude." But it had a small couch, which Clark sat down next to Lana, on.  
Clark hadn't thought of anything else all day; all he could do was run different scenarios threw his head, but he still wasn't ready for this, he never would be.  
"Okay..." Clark didn't know how to start. He was dying to explain his heart to her, and it was tearing him apart.   
"Clark." Lana was trying to help him, since it was obvious hard for him, "Its okay."  
  
_Cold to you   
I'm sorry about all the lies  
Maybe in a different light  
You could see me stand  
On my own again  
Cause now I can see  
You were the antidote that got me by  
Something strong like a drug that got me high _  
  
"Lana, when I said I woke up from my coma and realized we weren't meant to be together, I wasn't lying." Clark started.  
Lana's heart sunk, and her facial expression didn't hide it.  
Clark held her hand, "This might sound crazy, but I swear, it's true. During my coma, I saw my, our future..." Clark felt awful, having to admit it, "It was horrible. Lana, you weren't happy... and I was the reason. I was so cruel to you, and you couldn't escape me. I was evil." Clark continued, without letting Lana comment, he wasn't sure if he could continue if she did, "and there is no way I could ever be with you, knowing there is the chance that you'll end up like that. I know what you are going to say, that it won't happen, and I would have said the same thing, but it could, and if it did, I couldn't live with myself." Clark was actually more afraid that he could live with himself, like in the future.  
"Clark, you don't even know if that was real." Lana said.  
"It was real." That was about the one thing, Clark didn't doubt.  
"Clark, we all have our flaws, but you aren't evil." Lana knew that much.  
"They start out as flaws and turn into bigger things, and with all my power, it's would be so easy for me to just turn." Clark admitted his fear.  
  
_I never really wanted you to see  
The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep  
It always seems to get to me  
I never really wanted you to go  
So many things you should have known  
I guess for me there's just no hope  
I never meant to be so cold_  
  
"But if you know this, if you don't want it to happen, you can change it. Clark, YOU, not some future you, decides who you are going to be. You can make it so it doesn't turn out that way." Lana didn't know what Clark saw in his future, but it had scared him.  
"That is what I'm doing. The one assurance that I won't hurt you is that I don't be with you, at all." It made so much sense to Clark, so Lana had to see.  
"Clark, you are going to hurt me more by doing this, to prevent something that might not ever happen." Lana said, as a tear rolled down her cheek, as she realized how committed he was.   
"It seems like that now. But I still have the same evil in my life, like Lionel."  
"What about Lionel?" Lana thought it was too random of a reference, to not have significant meaning.  
"He's evil, Lana. He is a big part of why I become so cruel. He influenced me." Clark told her.  
Lana had never heard Clark talk about his father, other than perfect, and basically his ro-model, and it surprised her, but she thought she understood maybe a little, "Is that why Lionel... hurt you? Because you found out something?" Lana guessed Clark had probably uncovered some past evil Lionel had done.  
"No, he was pissed because I wouldn't love him." Clark thought it summed it up best.  
"If you see the evil in him, how can he influence you?" Lana pointed out.  
"I'm still me, and I'm still Lionel's son." Clark said, more to himself, than to Lana.  
"Clark, the fact that you are even willingly to go threw with all this shows you've changed." Lana let more tears falls.

Clark had to look away from the pained expression on her face. Lana was making so much sense, too much sense. He wanted to listen to her, and give in. But sometimes you feel weak, and when you feel weak you just want to give up and give in, but you have to search deep within you and find your inner strength and pull it out of you. It'll give you that motivation to not give in, and not fall, no matter how bad you want to.  
"Lana," He squeezed her hand, and moved closer to her, "Please, please, just forget me." He cupped her neck and chin with one hand, as the other wiped tears off her face- something he had resisted doing earlier, "You are so incredible. When I look into your eyes, I feel like I can see your soul, and it's superior to anything I can even imagine. Any guy who meets you will want you. Let him love you."  
"I don't want another guy." She cried, "And what about you. You can't just numb all your feelings, Clark. That is how you are going to end up evil."  
"Lana, I found the greatest thing of all, and I'll be happy that I even knew you for a day. So please, forget me. Please." Clark wished he really felt that way. But once you know someone like Lana, you can't help but get addicted.  
"Clark, there is no one else like you..." Her voice quivered, it was true on so many levels, "There is no way I could ever forget you."  
Clark had once told Lana, that he felt like glass around her, because she could always see right threw him. This was no exception, as she looked into his eyes, and saw how committed he was. If it had been anything else, she would have been flattered by how much he loved her, enough to give up what he wanted, but by doing what he thought was right, it meant never seeing her again.  
"Clark." She moved closer to him, "Please, I'm asking you not to do this. If it does end up I'm not happy, it will be my fault, not yours."  
"Lana, I wish I could believe that." Clark looked away from her.  
Lana felt fear, like she had never known before; grip her heart; as she sensed the end was near. She had to do something, she loved Clark just as much as he did her, and she was going to fight.  
"Clark." She cupped his face, forcing him to make eye contact with her, "I'm asking you, please, if you love me, don't do this." She begged him.  
"I'm doing this because I love you." He looked back at her with the saddest eyes she would ever see in her whole life.  
She leaned down and kissed his bottom lip, before fully kissing him, and he let her. She parted, for a second, to look at him, before she kissed him again. This time he kissed her back. She had her arms around his neck.   
Clark didn't know a kiss could mean so much; make you feel so much; realize so much. He wrapped his arms around her, as he slipped his tongue into Lana's mouth, raising the passion of the kiss, if it was possible, because it wasn't just a kiss; it was all their emotions wrapped up into a single action.  
The kiss slowly wound down, until Clark gave Lana a last peck on the lips. They sat there for a full minute starring at each other, neither one wanting to talk, afraid to ruin it.  
Finally Clark slowly leaned in and gave Lana a kiss on the cheek, then he got up off the couch and left.  
Lana watched him go, confused. Why would he kiss her unless he realized they could be together unless... he was saying a final good-bye?  
Lana wasn't sure if she wanted the answer. It could be so great, or the worst thing to ever happen to her.  
  
_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way  
I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold _  
  
TBC...   
song lyrics by Crossfade "cold" Please R&R  
Sorry I would have updated yesterday, but my comp went crazy and deleted my whole update, so I had to rewrite it again. sorry if it sucked, but if you ever had to re write something, you know how much you Don't want to do it. lol, sorry. 


	28. Decisions

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&  
&  
_I sit here clutching useless lists  
and keys for doors that don't exist  
I crack my teeth on pearls  
I tear into the history   
Just show me what it means to me in this world_  
  
Clark honestly didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted to be with Lana, as much as she did, probably more. Lana had a good argument. It could never happen. Didn't him knowing give him a great advantage and winning the fight over evil? Since he knew Lionel was evil and he no longer loved him, at least not like he had before, how could he be so loyal? And wasn't that the key in changing him into the horrible person he had seen in the future?  
Clark didn't know if Lana was right, or if he just wanted to believe her. It's all so confusing. Clark wished he could step out of his body and get a good look at the situation from a neutral point of view, without all his emotions. Because for all he knew, he was being blinded with emotion, either for the good or bad, he didn't know.  
  
_I see the parts but not the whole  
I study saints and scholars both  
No perfect plan unfurls  
Do I trust my heart or just my mind  
Why is truth so hard to find in this world  
Yeah in this world _  
  
It's so hard when you are thinking about forever. The one thing that became increasingly clearer threw everything was, how much he loved Lana.  
Far beyond anything he could say or even comprehend, there lies the bond he shared with Lana.  
You don't just give something like that up; people searched their whole lives for something like that, and they tap in and get 10% of it, and it's so good, they think they had it all, and they can die happy, because they never new anything better.  
But you can't be happy with 10% when you had it all. Clark could lie to himself, but he knew, neither him nor Lana would ever get over each other or love anyone more. Sure, they could find the person they loved 2nd most, and try and be happy, but we all know that just because you try, doesn't mean it works.  
So in Clark's mind, he already knew he would be with Lana, he'd kiss he the next time he saw her, and every other time after that. Because he couldn't fight it anymore, and he didn't want to.  
He still needed more assurance that he wouldn't treat her like shit years from now. So he sat there, in the mansion, trying to think of a way to really prevent it, or at least ease his mind enough, so he could see Lana again. The answer just came to him, literally, as Lionel entered the room.  
  
_I know that there's a point I've missed  
A shrine or stone I haven't kissed  
A scar that never graced my wrist  
A mirror that hasn't met my fist  
But I can't help feeling that I'm   
  
Due for a miracle  
I'm waiting for a sign  
I'll stare straight into the sun  
And I won't close my eyes _  
  
Neither of them had said a word about the fight, and they didn't plan to. That was just the Luther way. Clark succeeded in avoiding him, until now.  
Clark had never been threw this type of thing, and he didn't know how you were supposed to act. He wished Lex was there, because for some reason, he knew Lex would have known what to do. That he had been threw more than his share of it.  
"Clark." Lionel said, stopping Clark as he began to get up and leave.  
"What." Clark found he couldn't hide his anger, like before.  
"I'm sending you to New York." Lionel informed him.  
"Why?" Clark sensed it was more that just a party he had to attend.  
"There is a boarding school there, and I enrolled you. You start next week." Lionel had a malicious smirk mixed in with a look of revenge.  
"I'm not going to boarding school." Clark said bitterly. Clark didn't know if Lionel had told this to him before he talked to Lana, if he would have even objected. But now he had Lana again, and he wanted to stay. Clark guessed he probably would have protested anyways, just because Lionel was doing it to hurt him.  
"You are." Lionel said, knowing his power.  
"No, I'm not." Clark tried to sound powerful too.  
"You forced me to do this, Clark. Your behavior lately is in dire need of correction." Lionel gave his reason.  
"You can't make me." Clark mentally kicked himself, for sounding so juvenile. But he couldn't help it, he felt like he was 5 again, only weaker because he didn't even have any of his abilities.  
Lionel laughed, "Have your things ready by Friday." He started to leave, but turned around in the doorway, "And Clark, I wouldn't try running away, because I've already had all your credit cards cut off, and the staff has all been informed of your situation." He chuckled again before leaving.  
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"Clark, what's wrong? I got your message." Lex walked into Clark's room, "You sounded upset."  
  
_Another night again  
Another journey without friends  
Another fight to wish away the loneliness I live  
Another circus show  
Another face that I don't know  
Another night of people asking what I have to give  
Thought that I would drown  
But it's okay right now _  
  
"Dad's shipping me off to some private school in New York." Clark sounded desperate for help.  
Lex couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with memories of experiences just like this one, only he was the one being sent away. He especially remembered the first time it happened, 1 month after his mother died. He remembered it as the saddest day of his life, even more painful than the day Lillian died, because it felt like Lionel was completely severing him from the family, from Clark, the only one who really loved him anymore. Even though Lionel didn't love him, Lex did, so it hurt him so much more. It was the day all his hopes that Lionel did love him, were shattered. He was just a kid then, barely 14, and he couldn't fight back, he didn't even know how. But he was a grown man now, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let Lionel hurt Clark, like he had him.  
"Clark, don't worry. I won't let him." Lex told his little brother.  
Clark immediately felt better having his brother as back-up, "I don't think it's going to be easy. He's really determined."  
  
_No one knows the way I feel  
The part of me I have to fight  
Buried somewhere deep beneath my skin  
An emptiness in me had faded  
I can see my life is waiting  
Now I know I'm living for who I am  
Now I know I'm living for who I am _  
  
"Clark, don't worry. Just stay away from him until I can work something out. When is he planning to have you leave?" Lex asked.  
"Friday." Clark's eyes flashed with urgency.  
"Friday..." Lex didn't like that. He only had 3 days to counter act something Lionel had most likely been planning for weeks.  
"I know." Clark sensed Lex's concern.  
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Clark walked threw Smallville High's halls. He didn't want to go to school, he had too much to think about. But he couldn't stay at the mansion, and Clark was well aware of the guards following him, the second he stepped outside. They were watching him, so school was the only place he could go without sending them running to Lionel. Plus he wanted to see Lana.  
  
_The fire grows inside  
The feeling cannot be denied  
When everywhere I go  
The signs guide, they push me _  
  
He reached his locker and opened it, just leaning inside, trying to clear his head, trying to relax, he squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, he saw a small box with a ribbon on it, on top of a card.  
Clark opened the card first.  
  
**_Clark,  
Happy 17th Birthday.  
You deserve a great one.  
Love,  
Lana _**  
It was a simple birthday card. Clark had completely forgotten it was his birthday, yet somehow Lana remembered. Clark couldn't help but smile. He picked up the box, and started to open it when he felt a hand on his back, and he jumped.  
  
_All has fallen down  
But it's okay right now_  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." It was a girl Clark had never seen before. He gave her a look that said 'What?'  
"Oh, um... I'm supposed to give you this." She handed him an envelope. He slipped the box from Lana into his book bag, and opened the envelope.  
Clark rolled his eyes when he saw it was just to tell him he was nominated for 'King' in the spring formal. He couldn't care less. He didn't even know if he was going to be here then.  
  
_And Everything seems gray  
And everyone is fake  
No one really knows you  
Look into their eyes  
Rip off your disguise  
Let them see the real you _  
  
Clark heard a bell ring. He was so out of it, he had no clue what it was for. 1st period? Lunch? He found a clock that did indeed confirm it was signaling the end of lunch. How long had he been standing at his locker?  
Clark didn't care enough to find out, and he headed off to his next class.  
He somehow managed to be 10 minutes late, as he quietly opened the door to his History class, and slipped inside. The teacher just rolled his eyes at him. No one ever scolded him for being late or gave him detention.  
Clark walked to the back of the room, were his usual seat was unoccupied. His eyes locked with Lana's. She starred at him from the front of the classroom, with fear. Clark knew she was afraid he would continue to ignore her, like he had been the past month. He flashed her a huge smile, as he sat down.  
Lana's eyes lit up, and she smiled herself, she couldn't have stopped the smile that covered her face, even if she wanted to. She quickly turned around, still smiling to herself. But she couldn't resist it, so she immediately turned around to look at Clark again. Once she saw he was still smiling at her, she could finally turn around.  
Clark spent the entire class starring at Lana.  
10 minutes before class was actually dismissed, Lana turned around as she heard the door open and saw Clark slip out. Naturally the teacher didn't say anything.  
Lana felt someone tap her on the shoulder, so she turned around. The guy behind her handed her a note.  
She turned around and opened it, and read it.  
**_Lana,  
I love you, and we are going to be together, but I have to do something first.  
Clark _**  
  
That made Lana feel better and nervous at the same time. Where was Clark going?  
"Can I go to the bathroom?" Lana asked sweetly.  
"Yes." The teacher excused her, before continuing on with her speech.  
Lana grabbed her book bag and quickly exited the classroom, just in time to see Clark exit the school threw the back entrance, so she followed him.  
By the time Lana opened the back door, she heard arguing.  
"Ah, let go!" Clark shouted, as a large man grabbed him from behind, while a second one approached him.  
"Mr. Luther, calm down. We are just following orders by your father." The one in charge said.  
Clark struggled to get out of the man's grasp, but couldn't, "Get off me!"  
"I'm sorry, but you aren't allowed to leave. We were instructed to bring you to Lionel immediately if you tried to go anywhere out of the ordinary." He explained. Clark had no idea why they were explaining it to him; he knew, but he wasn't going to be shipped off a few days earlier. That is undoubtedly what Lionel would do if Clark tried anything, which apparently skipping out of school, was.  
Lana could hear what they were saying, but didn't know what was really going on, but it looked like Clark was in trouble.  
"Ah." Clark groaned, as the man holding him from behind, pressed into a sore spot in his back.  
"Clark." Lana shouted, not knowing what to do.  
All 3 looked over to Lana. It was exactly what Clark needed as he used the distraction to slip out of the man's grasp, and he started to run.  
Both men darted after Clark, on the dusty path. They quickly caught up to him, and the first man tackled Clark, and Clark fell hard. The man pinned Clark to the ground. Clark fought back, and managed to knock the man off of him. But no sooner had he gotten back on his feet, he felt someone grab him around the neck, from behind and start to choke him. Clark tried to grab at the arm, with his hands, trying to loosen the grip, as he felt a needle stab into his neck.  
  
_No one knows the way I feel  
The part of me I have to fight  
Buried somewhere deep beneath my skin  
An emptiness in me has faded  
I can see my life is waiting  
Now I know I'm living for who I am  
Now I know I'm living for who I am _  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
  
Song lyrics by Smile Empty Soul "Who I am." And Thrice "Stare at the Sun" Please R&R  
Do you consider that happy Clana?  
LOL, well sorry 


	29. Suffocation

  
  
Lana looked on in horror as she watched Clark's body go lifeless, in the man's arms. The 2nd man pulled up a car, and they loaded Clark into the backseat, and drove off, fast.  
Lana didn't know what to do. Her instincts told her, she should follow them. She dropped her book bag as she ran to her car, it was on the other side of the school. She finally reached it, as she pulled her keys out of her pocket, and started her car. By the time she got back, she had no idea which way the car had gone.  
Fear had her in it's grip. What was she going to do? She had known Clark long enough to know the cops couldn't do anything, when it came to Luther affairs. She needed someone as powerful as Lionel... another Luther. Lana immediately thought of Lex. But she had no way of contacting him. She tried to calm down, so she could think. She took a few deep breathes, before exiting her car, to search Clark's book bag, which was only a few feet from where she had dropped hers. She couldn't find anything, so she threw it, along with her own, into her car. Something caught her eye, as the sun reflected off a metallic object.  
Lana rushed over to the spot, hoping it was what she thought it was... yes, it was Clark's cell phone. It must have come off in the struggle, and she was thankful for that. She flipped it open and looked threw his address book until she found Lex's number and she dialed it.   
"Clark?" Lex's voice asked.  
"Lex, it's Lana. Clark's in trouble." Her voice was urgent.  
"What happened?" Lex was worried.  
"I'm not exactly sure. But 2 guys grabbed him, and he tried to get away, but they did something to him, because he just stopped moving." Lana said.  
"Where is he now?" Lex asked.  
"I don't know. I tried to follow them, but I was too late. I know they worked for Lionel though, I heard them say it." Lana hoped that information would help.  
"Thanks, Lana." Lex's head was swimming with scenarios of where Clark might be, what Lionel wanted with him, and how they got Clark to 'just stop moving'.  
"Lex, please tell me if you find him." Lana begged.  
"I will." Lex hung up the phone. He began calling people, the kind of people he knew who did jobs like this, or knew people who did. But no one knew anything about it, and if they did they weren't saying anything.  
Lex decided just to drive over to the mansion. But when he arrived there, he found just what he thought he would- nothing. Clark wasn't there, and neither was Lionel. Lex dialed Lionel's cell phone.  
"Lex, this really isn't a good time." Lionel sounded annoyed.  
"Where is Clark?" Lex made sure his tone showed it wasn't an average question.  
"In school I'd assume." Lionel said, but Lex could feel his smirk threw the phone.  
"No he's not. Two guys grabbed him, but you already knew that." Lex said defiantly.   
"Lex, I really wouldn't work yourself up over this." Lionel said condescendingly.  
"What did you do with him?" Lex asked.  
"Lex, you make it sound as if I had him kidnapped." Lionel cooed.  
"You did!" Lex shouted.  
"No. I just made sure he didn't go running off. Anything I've done, he's forced me too." Lionel hung up.  
"Damnit!" Lex shouted, with frustration and anger, but most of all fear for his little brother.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Clark woke up inside what looked like, a safe room. Clark stood up and then immediately collapsed, as he fell into a small table, breaking it. Clark just laid there, trying to breathe, he didn't know why his lungs felt like they had collapsed.  
He heard a door open and soon Lionel was standing over him.  
"Dad, I can't breathe." Clark could barely get it out, as he began to panic, and tried to breathe faster, which only made it worse.  
"Clark, calm down." Lionel leaned over Clark, who was sprawled out on the floor, "You are making it worse. Take slow breathes."  
Clark tried his best, but when you can't breathe, its instinct to try and breathe as fast as you can. Finally he calmed down enough to get a little oxygen in his lungs, enough so he wasn't in a complete panic anymore.  
  
_The more of you that I inspect  
The more of me I see reflect  
The more I try to read your lips  
The more the mask you're wearing rips_  
  
"What's wrong with me?" Clark asked, trying to remember what happened, and how he got here.  
"It's just a side effect of the drug you were given. You are having a bad reaction to it." Lionel told him.  
It took a minute for it to register in Clark's mind what happened. But he eventually remembered the scene outside of school, and the needle stab into his neck. He tried to stay calm, and not allow rage to take over his body, because he was scared, if it did, he would suffocate.  
"Why?" Clark wanted to cut his talking to a minimum.  
"Clark, I told you not to try anything." Lionel shook his head, with regret for what Clark made him do.  
"What happens... me." Clark couldn't get the words out. But Lionel understood what he was asking.  
"Clark, I told you. You are going to a very good private school in New York." Lionel said, "I wish you wouldn't fight this. It's only going to make things harder."  
  
_But when I seek out your voice  
My ears are overcome with noise  
You show and tell with greatest ease  
Raving impossibilities_  
  
Clark began to feel more air reach his lungs, "Don't make me."  
"Clark, I don't want to have to do this, anymore than you want to go, but there is no way you can continue on with this type of behavior." Lionel said.  
  
_Engaged in crime I grasp my throat  
Enraged my mind starts to smoke  
Enforce a mental overload  
Angry again, angry again, angry ow _  
  
Clark felt himself getting angrier, but calmed himself, as fear of suffocation was greater than his rage. Lionel made him sick, how he was trying to act like a good father, all concerned, when only 2 days ago he had sliced up his whole back.  
But Clark was in no position to do anything but bargain, and as much as even the thought of it, made him want to vomit, Lana was worth it, "Please." Clark knew he was pathetic. But that was as great as it was going to get, between his anger and lack of air.  
"Clark, I've made up my mind." Lionel brushed a clump of hair out off of Clark's forehead. That simple action made Clark so angry, and he couldn't control his breathing anymore, as he rapidly gasped for oxygen.  
  
_Engaged in crime I grasp my throat  
Enraged my mind starts to smoke   
Enforce a mental overload  
Angry again, angry again, angry   
  
The searing of the sinew  
My body fights for air  
The ripping of the tissue  
My lungs begin to tear  
Gravity's got my bones  
It pulls my flesh away _  
  
"Clark, calm down." This wasn't what Lionel wanted. He loved Clark, and definitely didn't want to kill him, "Deep breathes." But it didn't help, Clark just got worse, and the worse he got, the more panicked he became.  
Lionel called someone into the room, to help Clark.  
Clark vaguely saw a female nurse kneeling over him telling him to calm down, but he couldn't, and he began to feel dizzy and kept seeing black spots flash across his vision. Clark grabbed at his shirt, ripping it open. He thought maybe his chest wouldn't feel so tight, but it didn't help.  
The last thing Clark remembered was an oxygen mask being slipped onto his face.  
  
_The steam finally dissipates  
I make out my sweaty face _  
  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"Are you sure you saw him?...How many people were by him?... Okay." Lex hung up the phone. He finally had some hope, after hours of calling people and trying to figure out were Clark was. Finally someone was able to tell Lex that they saw 2 men bringing a limp Clark into the back of an apartment complex. It had taken a rather large bribe, to get the address of the place, but Lex had it, and he was going to find his little brother, no one was going to stop him.  
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Lana ran into her house and up the stairs to her room. She hoped her parents didn't notice she was home, because she really wanted to be alone.   
She laid face down on her bed, and let herself cry, really cry. It wasn't just Clark's kidnapping. It was everything. Her emotions had never been so high, first without have Clark to comfort her, and then Clark's note, saying that they could be together, only for him to be ripped from her. Now he could be anywhere, with anyone. Who knows what they wanted with him. Another sob escaped her as the thought, that is was Clark's birthday, raced threw her mind.  
That was the thought that really tipped her over, and she began to cry harder than she ever had before. She felt like she was going to choke, she was sobbing so hard, but she calmed down enough to breathe.  
"Lana?" Jonathan opened the door; he had heard her crying from downstairs, "What's wrong?" He knew it was something to do with Clark, but he had assumed he had hurt her.  
"Dad..." Lana cried. She couldn't speak, not yet. Jonathan came and sat down next to her on the bed, and held her in his arms, as she cried harder.  
Lana had thought she wanted to be alone, but her Dad made her feel so much better, and helped her compose herself enough to talk.  
"What's wrong?" Jonathan's heart was breaking as he saw his little girl in so much pain.  
"Clark... he's... gone." Lana sobs interrupted, "They took him..."  
"Who took Clark?" Jonathan asked.  
"I saw it, dad... he just... stopped moving." She completely broke down at the last 2 words. Jonathan didn't push her, as she was obviously incapable of explaining anything. He just held her, and rubbed her back, trying to comfort her,  
"Its okay, Lana, its okay." He told her as she cried into his chest.  
After about 10 minutes Lana finally stopped crying, and she looked up to her dad, "I'm scared for him, Dad."  
"Lana, I'm sure Clark's okay." Jonathan just wanted to make Lana feel better, he actually had no idea what even happened to Clark.  
"It was his birthday..." It was the last blow in unfortunate events for Clark. It was just so unfair. Clark's birthday cake was being replaced with a needle to the neck, and his balloons were being popped by Lionel.  
Lana finally told her father what had happened earlier, and Jonathan couldn't help but feel sorry for Clark, as much as he didn't like him. Lana was so torn up over it; he never really saw how much she loved him.  
"Lana, we should call the police." Jonathan suggested.  
"No... it will only make things worse for Clark, and they can't help him." Lana said, wiping the tears off her face.   
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"Oh, Jonathan that is horrible." Martha said, as Jonathan relayed the story about Clark, to her.  
"Lana is really upset." Jonathan told his wife.  
"I would assume so." Martha said, "Jonathan, that poor boy. How could his own father do that to him?"  
Jonathan never had the love for Clark, Martha had. He was well aware of how she never gave up her love for Clark, since when he was a toddler.  
Even though Jonathan didn't have that, he still felt terrible about Clark. Because he never admitted to anyone, not even Martha, but whenever he heard anything about Clark, good or bad, weather Clark himself had done the bad, or it had been done to him, he felt guilty. He felt almost responsible, because he had let Clark be taken into Lionel's grasp and supervision. If he had never asked him for the adoption papers, he would never of had an interest in Clark, and Clark could grow up a normal boy, and not have to go threw trails like this; things grown men don't ever have to experience, and to make it worse, the evil was done by his own father.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Lex walked into the building, only to be greeted by 2 security guards.  
"I'm Lex Luther." Lex said annoyed, that they were trying to stop him.  
"I'm sorry Mr. Luther, but our orders were to let no one by." One of the spoke up.  
"My father asked me to come here, so I suggest you get out of my way... now." Lex had a hidden threat in his tone, mixed in with his lie. The 2 looked at each other, and then let him by.  
Lex didn't know exactly where he was going, but he opened all the doors along the hallways. When he got to the 3rd to last door, on the right, he opened it to find what he was looking for- Clark. Lionel was also there too.  
"Oh My God! What did you do to him!" Lex said shocked at what he saw.  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
  
Song lyrics my Megadeth "angry again" 


	30. Out Of Control

"Lex." Lionel was surprised. He looked down at Clark, who had been sedated, because he was putting serious danger to himself, being conscious. The nurse was still over his limp body, with an oxygen mask over Clark's face.  
"Put him in a bed, in the next room." Lionel said, ignoring Lex, as he ordered 2 men that were also in the room. They each took hold of an end of Clark and hoisted him onto a stretcher like device, and start to move him into the next room, but Lex stopped them.  
"Where are you taking him?" Lex had no idea what was wrong with Clark, or what they were planning on doing to him next.  
"Lex, move out of the way." Lionel instructed.  
Lex continued to block the door, "No. What the hell did you do to Clark?"  
"Lex, calm down, and move aside. Clark will be fine." Lionel was pretty sure it was true.  
Lex got out of the way, but followed the 2 men, with Clark, into the next room, as they put him in a bed. There was still no reaction from Clark.  
Lionel walked into the room, and instructed his workers to leave. Lex was obviously going to cause a scene.  
"What did you do to him?" Lex sounded so angry and he was. He looked down at his younger brother, who showed no signs of life, except for the slight rise and fall of his chest. His upper arms had bruises on them, but Lex knew they had come from Clark and Lionel's fight the other day. He did notice scratch marks on Clark's chest; they looked like they were self inflicted.  
"I didn't do anything to him, Lex. He had a bad reaction to a drug." Lionel told him.  
"Drug? What drug?" Lex didn't like where this was going.  
"I'm not sure yet." Lionel lied.  
"What kind of drugs did you give him? You could have killed him!" Lex was so angry with Lionel.  
"Lex, don't try and blame this on me. I didn't drug Clark. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Clark took a drug, possibly cocaine." Lionel lied, spinning the situation to his favor.  
"What? No, Clark doesn't do drugs." Clark would have told him, if he was.  
"I wouldn't have thought so in the past, but we both know how much Clark has changed since his accident. He has severe depression." Lionel convinced Lex.  
Lex couldn't deny it; he knew it was true, more than anyone, "I don't believe you. What about the person who saw 2 of your men grab Clark outside of his school?" Lex was smart enough not to say Lana's name.  
"It had to be done, Lex. He was out of control. He was high, and delusional; he was a threat to public safety." Lionel lied convincingly.  
"And you just conveniently had people following Clark?" Lex asked, still skeptical.  
"It was a good thing I did. Lex, I wouldn't expect you to notice, but I saw the changes Clark was going threw, I saw the signs. I cared enough to figure out why, unlike you, who just indulged his dangerous attitudes." Lionel was quick to pin it all on Lex.  
It threw Lex off, to be the one accused. He felt guilty to; because he didn't have a clue Clark was taking drugs. Lex still had the feeling that Lionel wasn't telling him something, even if the story did makes sense, "I'll have someone run the blood tests on Clark, to see what he was taking." Lex said it in a way that challenged Lionel's little piece of fiction.  
"No need, I'll have my people do it." Lionel said coolly.  
"No. I don't trust 'your people'." Lex insisted.  
"Alright Lex, but you'll just have proof to back me up." Lionel didn't see it as a big problem. Sure, Lex would make sure the results were real, but so would Lionel. If Lex needed to find drugs, then Lionel would give Clark drugs.  
"Lex, I don't appreciate these kinds of scenes you cause." Lionel said, leaving the room.  
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"Clark?" Lex said, as Clark regained consciousness, "What did you take?"  
"huh?" Clark was groggy.  
Lex hated that Lionel's story was more believable, as he looked at Clark, who was sweating a lot, and his eyes were dilated.  
Clark had never felt this way before, he felt so alive, but in a way he couldn't describe.   
"Lex." He shot up in the bed, not even realizing where he was, "Hi."  
"Hi?" Lex didn't understand how Clark could act like it was a normal visit, "Do you even know what happened?"  
"Um..." Clark's temples hurt when he tried to remember, so he gave up, "No."  
Lex was hoping Clark would tell him Lionel was lying; what really happened, "Clark, what drugs did you take?" He asked again.  
"I didn't." Clark had never even thought of drugs, they had never been an option for him in the past, his metabolism was too fast for them to have any effect on him.  
"Then why do your blood tests say otherwise?" Lex was frustrated.  
"I donno, Lex." Clark laughed. Lex was so funny, his voice seemed so weird. Clark got up out of the bed, and walked towards the door and opened it, and finding a hallway, "Lex, where is my closet? Did you take it?" Clark started laughing again.  
"Clark, sit back down." Lex grabbed his arm, trying to stable him.  
"I'm fine." Clark released himself from Lex's support, and stumbled back into the wall, "Whoa... was that wall there a minute ago?" Clark honestly didn't remember a wall.  
Lex felt disappointment in his brother, as he was clearly high. For once Lionel had not done the bad. Sure, Lex had plenty of encounters with drugs, alcohols, and sex. But Clark wasn't like that, or he never used to be.  
"Hi Lex." Clark laughed.  
Lex sighed, "Clark, sit down." Lex gently pushed him against the bed, forcing him to sit.  
"Where is my girl?" Clark looked around the room; still not getting it wasn't his room.  
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Lex said annoyed. He really didn't want to see Clark like this, or deal with him.  
"It's always right here." Clark said really loud, as he slammed his hand on a table next to the bed. "She is always there."  
Lex might not have noticed Clark was on drugs, but he did know that Clark had a picture of Lana next to his bed, for the past year.  
Clark laid down on the bed, "I never felt like this before, Lex."  
Clark's reference to Lana, reminded Lex of his promise to inform her on any news about Clark.   
"Clark, what drugs did you take?" Lex asked again, hoping Clark would admit it.  
"Maybe I am high." Clark said to himself, not even hearing Lex, "Do you think I'm high?"   
"What did you take?" Lex ignored his question.  
Clark shot up in bed, and ran out of the room, into the hallway, as he completely collided with Lionel.  
Lex helped Clark up.  
"You" Clark pointed at Lionel, "I know your secret." He tried to whisper it, but it came out louder, as he couldn't control his laughter.  
"Clark, go lie down." Lionel was happy that Clark was making it so obvious that he was high. His people were successful; but more importantly Lex saw Clark high.  
"No." Clark almost shouted it, it was so loud, "I know what you did."  
"Clark, come on." Lex was so frustrated with the whole situation.  
"I really know, Lex." Clark leaned on Lex, and started laughing, "He killed his parents."  
Lex saw Lionel's eyes widen at Clark's comment.  
"What?" Lex asked Clark.  
"YEAH... it's like... him and Morgan... they burned them." Clark nodded his head.  
"Dad." Lex raised an eye brow in Lionel's direction.  
"Clark, you don't know what you are saying." Lionel came up behind Clark, and led him back into the room.  
"Lex, I don't want you encouraging his delusions." Lionel said, as he began to leave.  
Clark jumped off the bed, and met up with Lionel, "Dad... I got it." He waved both his hands in the air, "I'm gonna do what you want. You want me to be just like you... So I will... and one day I'll kill you, just like you killed your parents." Clark laughed, and turned to Lex, not understanding why he wasn't laughing too.  
Lex found it disturbing. Clark wasn't saying all of that for no reason, and Lex saw in Lionel's eyes that he was thinking the same thing.  
Lionel just turned and left. Lex left the room too, he needed to call Lana.  
"What was he talking about?" Lex asked Lionel.  
"He is irrational, and has no idea what he is saying, Lex. How should I know." Lionel mocked Lex, as he walked away.  
Lex just rolled his eyes, at his father's obvious lie, and picked up his cell and dialed Clark's cell phone. He assumed she still had it.  
"Hello?" Her voice sounded shy, as if she wasn't sure she should answer the phone.  
"It's Lex."  
"I know." Lana said quietly, "Did you find Clark?" She sounded scared.  
Lex had completely forgotten his fear and angry, that he felt before he knew Clark had just gotten high. Lex felt he should be mad at Clark, because he was making every one worry, but he couldn't. Because he knew Clark had been depressed lately, and that was what probably drove him to it.  
"Yeah, I found him Lana. He isn't in any danger, don't worry." He told her.  
"What did they want with him?" Lana didn't have nearly enough information.  
"Lana, are you sure you saw the whole struggle?" Lex asked.  
"No, I didn't see it all. I just saw the end." Lana told him again.  
"Well, Clark was apparently high, and from what some people are saying, he was causing a scene, and becoming dangerous, so my father had his people sedate him." Lex said thinking of the bad reaction the drugs had.  
"No, he wasn't high." Lana knew that much.  
"Lana, no offense, but I can clearly see that he is high right now. I did the blood tests, and it was heroine." Lex informed her.  
"Lex, I don't know how he is right now, but I swear, he wasn't high. He wasn't causing a scene. He was skipping out of school; that is my guess at least." Lana knew it.  
"Lana, I just wanted to let you know Clark is alright, since you were so worried." Lex started to wrap up the conversation.  
"You believe me, right?" Lana asked.  
"Lana, sometimes it isn't as obvious." Lex tried to humor her, "But I assume this is a private conversation."  
"I won't tell anyone." Lana promised, knowing that was what he wanted.  
"Good." Lex certainly didn't want this getting out to the press, but he felt Lana could be trusted; after all, she knew his biggest secret and didn't tell.  
"Can I see him?" Lana had to talk to Clark, since no one else was getting the real story.  
"He's at the mansion now, but I don't think it's such a good idea. He's kind of angry." Lex remembered Clark's actions from earlier.  
"Why?" Lana asked, knowing she wasn't getting even half the story.  
"I'm not sure. I think it's a bad trip or something." Lex said honestly, "Bye Lana." He hung up.  
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_It's just one of those days  
when you don't wanna wake up,  
everythin' is fucked  
everybody sucks  
You don't really know why  
but you wanna justify rippin someones head off _  
  
Clark felt like he hated everyone and everything, and he didn't know why. He couldn't sleep either, it's was almost 6am and he was still wide awake. He started pulling on his hair, pulling little bits out. It helped relieve some of the tension and anger. But it wasn't enough; Clark was itching for a fight.  
It wasn't like earlier, when everything had been great; been fun. Then, everything was different... he wasn't thinking of all the bad things that had happened to him, he hadn't even remembered it then. Now he did, and he felt like revenge.  
But there was no one around him. Lex was sleeping in a room upstairs, because he was worried about him. Clark distinctly remembered Lionel saying he was going to check on Clark at 6:30. Clark was counting the minutes... 6:07am.  
  
_No human contact and if you interact  
your life is on contract  
your best bet is to stay away mother fucker  
it's just one of those days_  
  
Clark turned on the TV, and Clark didn't even know what show it was, but he hated it immediately. He threw the controller at the wall, and it smashed in half, as the batteries flew out of it.  
Clark kept seeing Lionel slice his back up, over and over... and all he could think was 'I won't lose this time.'  
Clark couldn't get his hand to stop shaking, and that pissed him off even more. He couldn't take it anymore, and he knocked the TV over, and the glass plate, on the screen, shattered.  
  
_Give me something to break  
Just give me something to break  
How 'bout your fuckin' face? _  
  
It felt good.  
He grabbed a large vase and threw it across the room into a wall. He snatched a statue off the bookshelf, and smashed it into the glass table, both items shattered.  
It felt really good.  
Clark ripped a painting off the wall and threw it at the door.

_It's just one of those days_  
_Feelin' like a freight train   
First one to proclaim leaves with the bloodstain  
your damn right I'm a maniac  
you better watch your back cos'  
I'm fuckin your program _  
  
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Lex woke up to noises. He heard crashing, and what sounded like faint breaking of glass. Then he remembered Clark. He quickly put on some pants and a shirt and ran down the stairs, to find the main room completely destroyed. Yet, Clark was still going at it, ripping, smashing, and breaking everything he saw.  
"Clark, stop." Lex saw how out of control Clark was. Undoubtedly an effect from the heroine.  
  
_It's all about the he said she said bullshit.   
I think you better quit lettin shit slip  
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip  
It's all about the he said she said bullshit  
I think you better quit talkin that shit  
So come _  
  
Clark didn't even slow down on his rampage, and Lex couldn't get too close to him, because he kept throwing things.  
Lionel entered the room, "Lex, what is going on."  
"He's out of control." Lex said, happy to have back up, even if it was his father.  
"You were supposed to watch him, make sure this didn't happen." Lionel blamed Lex. But Lex didn't feel guilty, because Lionel was his father, it was more his responsibility that his.  
  
_I feel like shit...  
My suggestion is to keep your distance  
Cos right now I'm dangerous  
We've all felt like shit  
And been treated like shit  
All those motherfuckers, they want to step up _  
  
Lex was about to reply, but he had to duck as a glass figurine was hurled at him and Lionel, but Lex soon found out, it was directed towards Lionel.  
"You!" Clark screamed, as he approached, "I hate you!" Clark charged Lionel, sending him into the wall, and Clark held him there, pinning him against the wall.  
"Clark, calm down. You don't know what you are doing." Lionel told him.  
"Clark, come on. Back off." Lex had never seen Clark this dangerous before, and he didn't even have his abilities.  
"No!" Clark yelled at Lex, as Lionel escaped Clark's grasp.  
Clark caught up to him and held an arm as he swung at Lionel. Lionel had dodged the punch, but Clark tackled him, anyways, "Just try and send me to boarding school! I'm going to hurt you, like you hurt me! Like you hurt everyone I know! You killed Chloe, didn't you!" Clark yelled it with such anger. It had been such a long time, since Lex had heard that name.  
Lex was immediately over Clark, pulling him off Lionel, before he could do any damage. He grabbed Clark from behind, pulling him off.  
"Let me go Lex! I'll kill you Lionel! I'll kill you!" Clark screamed it over and over. With his rush, he had extra strength, but Lex had the advantage. Lex brought Clark down, on the floor, and he got onto him, holding him down, as he fought.  
"Get off of me!" Clark yelled, as he elbowed Lex, who was on top of him, in the side. But Lex didn't move.  
"Clark, stop!" Lex told his brother.  
Clark struggled for a few minutes more, until he finally gave in, and didn't have the strength to resist any longer, "I hate him, Lex... I hate him..." He tried one last time, to break away from Lex's hold, but it was in vain.  
Clark just let himself go limp, as he panted from the previous action. Lex was hesitant to get off Clark. He waited until he was sure Clark had really given up, until he slowly let Clark go.  
  
_I hope ya know  
I pack a chainsaw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps going this way  
I just might break something tonight  
Give me something to break  
I pack a chainsaw  
I'll skin your ass raw   
And if my day keeps going this way  
I just might break your fuckin' face tonight _  
  
Clark rolled over and sat there, staring at the ceiling as he panted.  
Lex walked over to Lionel and whispered, "I think you better go, before you set him off again."  
Lionel left, having no idea that his actions would provoke all of this. Who knew Clark would have such a strong reaction to the drugs.  
  
TBC...  
lyrics by limp Bizkit "break stuff 


	31. Talking

  
  
Clark woke up almost 20 hours later. He remembered everything he had done, and he couldn't believe it.  
He changed out of his sweaty clothes; his head was pounding, and felt drained of any energy. He jumped in the shower before he went downstairs and opened the fridge, and pulled out a gallon of milk, to go with his cereal.  
Clark was just eating a bowl of cereal, when Lex walked in, pulled up a chair, facing Clark.  
"How do you feel?" Lex asked. He had taken drugs before, cocaine, heroine, you name it. But never had he seen anything like that before.  
"I'm okay." Clark shrugged his shoulders, mortified by his actions, "Lex, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't even have control. I didn't mean to do any of that."   
Lex was understanding, "I know Clark. But that is the risk you take when you shoot up."  
Clark thought back, and he didn't remember taking any thing, "I didn't do it, Lex. I swear. I remember being grabbed outside of school, dad's people of course."  
"He said you were causing a scene." Lex told Lionel's side of the story.  
"No, I wasn't, Lex. I was skipping school, but I wasn't high. You believe me, don't you?" Clark needed Lex to believe him.  
"Yeah, I do, Clark." And Lex did. He wasn't sure if he believed Clark because Lionel always lied, and he trusted Clark not to lie. Or maybe it was because he just wanted to believe Clark.  
"Dad gave me something, I know it." Clark voiced his suspicions.   
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Lana had to push really hard against the door, for it to open. There was wreckage in front of it. She stepped inside the room, which was completely destroyed. She looked around and saw 6 people repairing the room, and she walked up to one of them, "Do you know where Clark is?"  
"No." He sounded annoyed, and Lana got the impression that Clark done all of the damage and caused all the debris. Well, Lex had said he was mad, but it was still incredible for one person to do it all, in a night. She continued wandering threw the mansion until she heard voices- Lex and Clark's voices. She followed them into the kitchen.  
"Lana." Clark looked away from Lex, to her.  
"Hi, Clark." Lana didn't really know what to say.  
Clark gave Lex a look, and Lex laughed, taking the hint, he left the room. Clark strode over to Lana and wrapped her in his arms, as they hugged, "God, I missed you so much."  
"Me Too." Lana couldn't describe how she felt at that moment. Sure, she had gotten Clark's note in class, about being together, but this was for sure, this was real. She hugged him back, not wanting to let go.  
Clark loosened the hug, so he could kiss her. Slowly at first, then he slipped his tongue into her mouth, and raised the passion of the kiss. Clark couldn't describe the feeling of joy, at not having to resist kissing Lana, or touching her, being close to her.  
Clark kissed her bottom lip briefly, as he put his hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him, and he began to kiss her neck.  
Lana met his lips again, as they kissed even more passionately. Lana couldn't have resisted if she tried, she needed Clark so bad, wanted him so bad.  
Clark stopped when he heard someone clear their throat very loudly. He turned and saw Lex standing there trying to hide a smirk, but failing. Clark felt annoyed, what did Lex want?  
Lana couldn't help but blush furiously.  
"What?" Clark made sure to show he was annoyed.  
"Sorry to interrupt." Lex chuckled, and Clark rolled his eyes, "But um, Dad's here, Clark. He wants to talk. It's kind of an important issue."  
Clark sudden felt happy Lex was the one who interrupted them, not Lionel, "Oh."  
Lex turned and left the room again.  
"Lana, I'm sorry. But I think I really should do this." Clark had a pretty good feeling what it was about, "Lana... see... My dad plans on sending me to boarding school... tomorrow."  
Lana's heart sunk; Clark was already being ripped from her, "Oh." She was trying not to cry, and Clark knew it.  
"Don't worry, I'm going to fight it as much as possible." Clark made it clear that he didn't want this either; he didn't want to leave her.  
"Okay... I guess I should leave." Lana was really failing horribly at the not crying thing.  
"I'm sorry." Clark meant it, as he kissed her forehead.  
Lana hurried out of the room, her vision was blurry from her tears, and she came dangerously close to colliding with Lionel, who was in the next room. Her hate for him pushed her tears over the edge, as they began to fall quickly.  
"Miss Lang." He said, but Lana couldn't deal with him, so she just pushed past him, and hurried out of the mansion to her car.  
Meanwhile Clark was in the kitchen, trying to prepare for this. What was he going to say? His leverage had been exposed during his first dealings with drugs. Clark guessed the drug reaction was so strong because he had never been exposed to them before, and not just the more powerful drugs, any drug at all. Not Tylenol or couch medicine, nothing; so he had no immunity to it, similar to the Indian's first reaction to alcohol.  
Clark snapped back to his current predicament. What would Lionel do, now that Clark had shown all his cards, after he tried to kill him.... Lionel knew that Clark was aware of his deal with Morgan edge to kill his parents.  
Clark also knew that no matter the influence of the drugs, he still had all that rage towards Lionel, and he couldn't let it interfere with his better judgment; he had to stay calm, as hard as it seemed.   
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
  
Lionel sat there, waiting for Clark to join him. How did Clark know about his parent's death? How long had he known? What else did he know? One thing Lionel did know was that he couldn't possibly send Clark to New York now. It was too risky, he didn't know what kind of evidence Clark had, if any. He needed him here, where he could keep an eye on him; watch him. Make sure he didn't find out anything else, or have anybody help him. Plus, it would be much easier to control his medication, and that was so important. If Clark regained his powers that meant serious trouble. But he had prevented that so far, and he could continue with it. With all Clark did know, he didn't seem to suspect anything in that department.  
Even with the violent reaction, that almost got him killed, Lionel didn't regret giving Clark an injection of Heroin, because without it, he would never have known Clark's knowledge on his shady past.  
Hopefully Clark would just drop it, not pursue it. But that definitely wasn't going to happen if Lionel ripped him away from Smallville; away from Lana.  
He hoped, but Clark hated him so much, and hate like that is always equipped with powerful revenge. If Clark wasn't smart and chased this thing further...  
"Alright." Clark interrupted Lionel's thoughts.  
"Clark." Lionel said, as he sat down on the couch, furthest from him, next to Lex. Lionel didn't like how Clark used Lex as a security blanket; it was a weak thing to do.  
"I'm not going." Clark said bluntly.  
"I know." Lionel said, showing that Clark wasn't running the show, "I wouldn't even consider sending you now. I had no idea you felt so strongly about this issue, Clark."  
Clark looked at Lex, and they shared their unspoken thoughts. 'What is he up to?'  
"Well I do." Clark said.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"Clark." Lex opened the door to Clark's bedroom.  
"Yeah." Clark smiled.  
"Listen, I know you're happy about not having to go to boarding school, I am too, but... Dad is up to something, I know it." Lex warned.  
"I know it seems weird that he just gave in, after drugging me and all, even if he doesn't admit it." Clark remembered Lionel's denial of having anything to do with Clark's mysterious heroin high.  
"Yeah, I'd be careful, Clark." Lex said.  
"Maybe he just realized he can't make me." Clark said thinking of the dirt he had on Lionel.  
"I don't think so, Clark." Lex paused a second, "It's true, isn't it?"  
"Is what true?" Clark was beating around the bush, when he knew very well what Lex meant. But he just wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, so he didn't want to bring Lex into it.  
"Dad killed his parents." Lex said, sensing Clark's hesitation to discuss the topic.  
"Um... Lex... I..." He couldn't lie to Lex, "Yeah."  
"How do you know?" Lex asked, intrigued. Now he knew why Clark's attitude towards Lionel had changed so drastically.  
"It's crazy... but a lot of stuff happened to me in my coma, that I can't explain, but I know it's true. I saw so many things Lex... different futures." Clark felt good confiding in his brother.  
"Clark, normally I wouldn't put stock in a dream-"  
"It wasn't a dream." Clark insisted.  
"Whatever. My point is that wherever this information came from, it's fairly accurate because it's making Dad think twice about pissing you off." Lex said bluntly.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Clark wanted to see Lana so bad. He wanted to hold her; to make her his everything again. He wanted to let her know that he was staying in Smallville. Clark never thought those words could seem so great. He picked up the phone and dialed her number, but once it started ringing Clark knew he didn't want to tell her over the phone, and he wanted to see her in person.  
"Hello?" Martha's voice chimed into the phone.  
"Um... Is Lana there?" Clark snapped out of his thoughts.  
"Yes. Hold on."  
Clark heard the faint calling of Lana's name and footsteps, before Lana came on to the phone, "Clark?" She said excitedly.  
"Yeah, it's me, Lana." Clark smiled at just hearing her voice, "Um, I was wondering if you wanted to come over, so we can talk."   
"Of course." Lana said immediately.  
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Lana hung up the phone, and grabbed her purse with a huge smile, but it quickly faded when she saw her father giving her a weary look, "Where are you going, Lana?" But he knew, and she knew it.  
"Clark's mansion." She looked away from him.  
"Lana it's okay. You don't have to feel guilty telling me that." Jonathan said comfortingly.  
"I know but... you and mom don't even like him... you think he is going to ruin my life...how can I not feel guilty? I just want you guys to see Clark like I do." Lana made a plea.  
"Lana... I'm sorry you feel that way. But I wouldn't be so sure about that, Martha definitely has a weak spot for him, we just worry about you, because truth is, you're our ultimate weak spot." He gave her a smile.  
"Alright." Lana said turning and walking out the door as she jumped into her car. What her dad said made her feel a little better, she knew Martha kind of liked Clark, but Jonathan didn't. You know what, none of that matters now, because I have Clark again. Lana smiled at the thought, but it quickly faded when she remembered that Clark might not have won the war against Lionel.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Lana walked into the mansion and was surprised to find it was back to normal, everything had been fixed. Well I guess that is what money buys.  
She loved the mansion, but it was too big; she didn't know where Clark was. Usually he was in the den watching T.V. or something, but he wasn't there now. She made her way up to the next likely room he would be in- his bedroom.  
  
_There's something about you  
Tears me inside out whenever you're around  
There's something about you  
Speeding thru my veins until we hit the ground  
And there's something about this rush _  
  
Sure enough, Clark was there; his back was turned to her as she opened the door.  
"Hey, Clark." She said casually, but there was nothing casual about this visit, was it her last visit with him?  
"Lana, hey, glad you came." His whole face brightened up. Lana flipped on a lamp, filling the awkward silence,  
"It's kinda dark in here." She said. Clark hadn't really realized it; it was a little past 10pm.  
"Hey, come here." He sat down on the bed, gesturing for her to do the same, and she sat right next to him, their legs were touching, "So I talked to my Father and he isn't going to send me to boarding school."  
"Clark, that is so great!" She hugged him tight.  
"I know." He smiled. "So how have you been?" Clark was referring to the past month in which he had no idea what was happening to her.  
"Not so great, with the whole lack of you issue." Lana gave a half grin, "But I'm more than great now." She squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes.  
  
_Take it away  
It made me feel so good  
I get a feeling you get a feeling we got a feeling  
Like we could die  
And guess what Mother  
We just can't get enough  
Lover  
We just gotta get it up  
We just gotta get it up_  
  
It was one of those moments where both of you know you are going to kiss, and it's going to be the greatest kiss you've yet to receive. And so it happened, Clark kissed her gently but passionately.  
This kiss heated up very quickly, and Clark placed a hand on the small of Lana's back, as he gently rolled her over on the bed, so he was positioned over her.   
Lana and Clark hadn't been together at all for so long, that they had to have it all right now.  
Clark slipped his shirt off, over his head, as he kissed down Lana's neck and collarbone. He returned to her lips again; he found her completely irresistible, as Lana did too.  
  
_There's something about you  
That tears me inside out whenever you're around  
And there's something about you  
That makes me fly  
You're a heart attack, just the kind i like   
Haunting and strange  
That makes me feel so good  
I get a feeling you get a feeling we got a feeling  
Like we're alive  
And Mother  
We just can't get enough  
We just can't get enough   
Lover_  
  
This trial had only made their love grow; so Lana never thought once to stop, as she felt Clark unbutton her shirt and take it off; as he played with the back of her bra.  
It was incredible how everything in the world just vanished as she kissed him; there were no problems, just Clark, the person she loved above everything else.  
Clark looked at Lana before unhooking her bra, making sure she wanted this as much as he did. Lana looked back at him and leaned in close to him, kissing him.  
Clark had never been so aroused in his life, and Lana could feel it, as his hips slowly grinded with hers. Clark's tongue was pleasing her in so many ways, and she let out a soft moan.  
  
_This world may not have too much time  
But baby i'm fine because maybe you're mine  
We just can't get enough  
You better give up  
Come on and give up  
Get ready to give up your life  
Give up your life  
It's you for me and me for you  
You make my dreams come true  
Off the wall coming from me  
But I wanna see this through, my baby  
You're on my mind all the time  
I found a billion dimes  
You rolled the dice, and lost them all  
And baby i just don't mind  
And incidentally mother  
We just can't get enough  
We just can't get enough  
Lover _  
  
Clark took the next step as he slipped off his jeans, and undid Lana's zipper, pulling her jeans off too.  
Their eyes met, and they both had no doubt or hesitation about what they both knew was going to happen.  
  
_But baby I'm fine because maybe you're mine  
We just can't get enough  
We just can't get enough  
And i don't want no one  
If i can't have you  
A world of illusion  
But baby you're true  
I know i deceived you  
I once told you lies  
If you don't believe me   
Just look in my eyes _  
  
So this was the way they said I love you... the way they showed that they were completely each others, without really saying it.  
  
_Aw yeah all right feel good tonight  
Aw yeah all right feel good tonight_  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark woke as sun engulfed his room. He had never felt so peaceful or truly happy in his life, and he knew the reason as he saw Lana lying naked beside him, in his bed. She was breathtaking, and not in the way he would have thought, the way he had heard people always use the word. She was gorgeous, of course, but her angelic face... what he felt in her soul... the pure goodness he saw in her heart... the part of his heart she had permanently resided in... now that as breathe taking. It was a pure feeling; a feeling that left room only for good, that he would never forget.  
Clark stroked her hair, which glittered in the sun. He leaned over and kissed her neck, and then her chin, before giving her a real kiss on the lips, that was genuine and meaningful; bursting with love.  
Clark reached a new high in happiness as Lana opened her eyes and stared at him with vast love and a feeling of ecstasy.  
&  
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&TBC...  
Ok I finally gave you the Clana you know you all wanted so bad! So PLEASE review/reply this update.  
okay, I'm grounded so I donno when the next update will be. (don't worry I've been grounded for days, but I got u this one didn't I?   
lyrics by new radicals "just can't get enough" I thought it described lana/clarks affection. lol w/e I'm a dork but reply! 


	32. The Morning After

  
  
Lana laughed as Clark kissed her neck, "Morning."  
"Afternoon." He corrected her, before giving her a kiss on the lips.  
"What?" Lana bolted up in bed, as she looked at the clock. Clark right, it was 12:13pm, "Clark, I have to leave."  
"It's Saturday." Clark laughed before kissing her again.  
"My parents are going to freak out." Lana made it clear.  
Clark stopped kissing her, "I forgot."  
"Me too." Lana laughed. She couldn't believe she was laughing; she knew her parents were going to kill her, but she couldn't help but still feel great, because Clark was still with her.  
Lana slipped on her underwear, and she found her bra under the bed, and put it on too. She sat on the bed, looking for her other clothes, as Clark pinned her against the bed, and began kissing her passionately. Lana kissed him back, giving in to her temptations. She was already in this much trouble; she might as well enjoy it.  
Clark moved his hand up her thigh; her skin was so soft, as he caressed her. Clark moved into a position were he was completely over Lana, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him, before he lowered her down against the bed.  
Lana loved the feel of Clark's bare skin against hers. She stroked his back, as he fondled one of her breasts.  
Lana realized Clark was naked when she felt his erection digging into her.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Lana got dressed again after another act of passion with Clark. Once again he made her feel incredible, and forget all her problems, but is was almost 2 and she really, really needed to go home, before her parents called the police or something, "Clark I seriously have to go, my parents probably think I'm kidnapped or something."  
"I'll go with you." Clark felt guilty that she was the one who was going to get in trouble. No one in his family would even care. Hell, Lex had commented several times on Clark's virginity, and it wasn't in a good way. Clark would get a pat on the back for this, and yet Lana was going to get hell.  
"No." Lana could just see it now, "That is a very bad idea."  
"But what are you going to say?" Clark wasn't scared of being yelled at.  
"I don't know. Clark, I know you think it will help, but when my parents see you, they will just get angrier." Lana kissed his cheek, "Love you."  
"Wait, Lana." Clark almost fell off the bed, trying to catch her before she raced out the door, "I'll call you later." He smiled before giving her a kiss.  
Clark let out a sigh once Lana had left; his perfect day had come to an end. Clark sunk into his bed, as his mind raced with thoughts of the previous night. He couldn't help but smile.  
Clark looked up, when he heard a chuckle. Lex was leaning in his doorway, with a smirk on his face.  
"What?" Clark sat up in his bed; really glad he remembered to put his boxers back on.  
"Nothing." Lex smirked again, "I just saw Lana leave."  
Clark could tell Lex was resisting a smile that threatened to cover his whole face, "So." Clark knew how smart his brother was, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what they were doing, but it was kind of fun making Lex actually say it.  
Lex just shook his head, and laughed, "So I take it things are doing good with you and Lana."  
It was Clark's turn to laugh, "You could say that."  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Lana felt sick with fear. Once she had left Clark, so did the feeling that everything would be okay, because he was there. She was so scared of what her parents were going to say. She didn't want to lie to them, but there was no way she could say 'Ya, I had sex with Clark, twice.'   
They would absolutely kill her. She had always been raised to wait until marriage; her parents would be so upset with her. She didn't regret last night, but now everything seemed so wrong, and last night, well nothing had ever felt so right.  
She intentionally took the long way back to her house; she had to clear her head and figure out what to do. She felt so guilty and scared. Now she really did wish Clark had come with her, because even though it would make things worse, he could provide that feeling of safety and assurance that everything would be okay. He gave her so much strength. She thought about calling him, because no doubt he would come in an instant, but she felt like she should face it alone.  
Lana drove onto the farm, and parked her car with sweaty hands. She sat there for a few minutes, scared to go into the house, but she mustered up the courage and walked in the back door.  
Lana took a deep breath as she caught Jonathan's angry gaze.  
"Lana, where were you?" His question demanded a truthful answer, and Lana couldn't help but give it.  
"I was out with Clark and our friends." Lana was glad she had this so well rehearsed because her mind felt like it was being scrambled.  
"All night!" Jonathan pushed her for more.  
"Ya, Dad, I'm so sorry." Lana had never felt guiltier in her life.  
"What were you doing?" Jonathan got to what really bugged him.  
"We went out to a movie and then grabbed a bite to eat, and well then... someone suggested we take a trip to Metropolis to go dancing... and when we realized it was so late, we couldn't drive back." Lana couldn't breathe. Would her father believe her? Because she didn't think he could handle it if he knew the truth.  
"Lana, I've always trusted you, but now I'm beginning to wonder why. Do you know how irresponsible you are acting? First of all, I never gave you permission to go to Metropolis in the middle of the night, much less spend the night there." Jonathan sounded like he was just getting warmed up.  
"Dad, I'm really sorry, I never meant to stay the night there." Lana was sorry that she made her father worried and mad.  
"Lana, don't even give me that. You could have called even! I wouldn't have been half as mad if you had just called!" Jonathan knew Lana was at fault, but he didn't know to what extent, "Lana, now tell me the truth. What happened in Metropolis?" Jonathan didn't know. He trusted Lana, but he didn't trust Clark.  
"We just went to a club. I didn't drink at all, and Clark and I stayed in separate rooms." Lana told him.  
Jonathan felt relieved, because he trusted Lana not to lie, and he had been very worried about the sleeping arrangements. But this didn't mean he wasn't still royally peeved with Lana, "Lana, you are grounded, and we'll discuss your other punishments later." Jonathan needed to talk with Martha first.  
Lana couldn't look at her father anymore, and she bolted to her room, and shut the door.   
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

"It's Clark who is influencing her to do stuff like this, Martha." Jonathan said.  
"Jonathan, you can't blame Clark. She makes her own choices." Martha was so disappointed in her daughter.  
"No, Martha she never did things like this before she met him. She is heading into a very dangerous path." Jonathan just wished he could ban Lana from seeing Clark, but he couldn't.  
"Jonathan, she is getting older, of course she is going to start doing things she wouldn't do when she was 12, but you have to realize that she is 17 now." Martha didn't know why she was defending Clark and Lana.  
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"So how did he take it?" Clark asked over the phone.  
"Surprising REALLY well. He was mad all right, but I thought for sure he was going to kill me." Lana confessed.  
"What did you tell him?" Clark asked. Lana relayed the Metropolis story.  
Clark laughed, "That's perfect."  
"Ya, I had to admit to something bad, otherwise he'd know for sure I was lying." Lana explained.  
"So he didn't forbid you to see me or anything." Clark guessed he would if he knew the real truth.  
"No, but I am grounded for two weeks, which is getting off VERY easy, Clark." She had to tell him how lucky she was, because as much as she loved Clark; he had no concept of punishment.  
"That's easy?" If someone had told Clark he was stuck at the mansion for two weeks, he would have gone crazy.  
"Clark, you don't know my parents." Lana laughed. She couldn't help but think how different Clark's and her parents were.  
Jonathan walked into Lana's room, "Lana, you are grounded, that means no phone."  
"Right, sorry." Lana pretended to hang up, and as soon as her father left, "Clark, you should see how my dad looks at me now. It's horrible. The past few days he barely says anything to me. The worst part is I know he isn't mad anymore, just disappointed."  
"Lana, I'm sorry." He knew how it felt.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark knocked on the Kent's front door and Jonathan opened the door, "Lana is grounded she can't see you." He said coldly.  
"Ya, that is actually what I'm here about." Clark paused a second before continuing, "I wanted to apologize to you. Metropolis was my idea, and I never meant to get Lana in trouble or cause problems with your family."  
Jonathan was a little taken back by Clark's apology. As much as Jonathan wanted to shut the door on Clark, he had to admit, he would never have done something like that when he was 17, so he decided to give him a proper response, "I appreciate you owning up to it, but it's not like I didn't already know." Jonathan couldn't help but let the last part slip out.  
"I know, I've caused a lot of problems, but I swear I'm making an effort to discontinue that kind of behavior. I know you don't believe me, but I really do love Lana." Clark was through with the petty fighting with Jonathan. Jonathan had been right, he did act like a spoiled brat, and yes there would always be a part of that in him, but he was trying so hard to be a better person.  
Jonathan didn't know what to say, he really didn't expect that from Clark, not only what he said, but how genuine it sounded. "Okay."  
Clark turned and hopped into his Porsche. Jonathan shut the door slowly, and walked back into the kitchen deep in thought.  
"Who was at the door?" Martha asked.  
"Clark." He was still thinking.  
"For Lana?" Martha assumed.  
"Actually no... he wanted to apologize." Jonathan corrected.   
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"Clark." Lana jumped on Clark's back, outside of school, "One week down, one to go." Lana was in a playful mood.  
Clark started laughing, "I've never heard a prisoner so happy before." He joked.  
"I guess I'm just having a good day." Lana honestly didn't know why, nothing special had happened.  
Lana hopped off Clark's back, so she could give him a kiss.  
"Now I'm having a good day." Clark grinned and kissed her back.  
Clark picked up Lana's books, which she had dropped in the process of jumping on his back. They both started walking across Smallville high's lawn, to the bus home.  
"Clark, I can carry 'em." Lana referred to her books.  
"God, Lana, just let me be a gentleman for once." Clark teased, playfully pushing her.  
"Alright." Lana laughed, as they stepped onto the bus. They chose a seat in the back, there were only a few other people on the bus.  
"Clark..." Lana was worried about it, but didn't want to upset Clark, "Has there been any change in your... abilities?"  
Clark looked away, and Lana knew why. He was still in the habit of hiding his emotions that he considered weak, "No, not at all."  
"You're worried aren't you?" Lana leaned over, trying to make eye contact, but failed, "Come on, Clark." She urged him to open up.  
"It's just... If I knew they weren't going to come back, and it didn't make a different, I wouldn't really mind that much... but... never mind, it's stupid." Clark just wasn't comfortable voicing his fears, even to Lana.  
But Lana knew him too well and she read his thoughts, "You think there is something wrong with you?"  
"Ya." Clark said thankful she understood, "I mean I should have gone back to normal almost immediately, unless there is something wrong with me."  
"Clark, I'm sure you are okay." Lana tried to comfort him, "I mean you don't feel sick, do you?"  
"No... but it just isn't right." Clark just knew it wasn't, "My nurse says I'm normal... every week I go in and get checked out, but nothing ever changes."  
Lana didn't know what to say, she was clueless in this department, "I wouldn't worry about it, Clark."  
But he couldn't help it, "I should have my heat vision by now, too."  
"Heat vision?" This was the first Lana had heard about this.  
"It's another ability I have, or should have. I saw in my coma, and I had it by the time I was 17." Clark hadn't really told Lana, or anyone of that matter, much of anything that happened in his coma, it was a dark place for him, that he didn't feel like revisiting.  
Clark and Lana stopped the conversation when more people started boarding the bus, "Lana, I miss you. I can't wait another week." Clark pouted. He had seen Lana a lot, but it was always between classes, at lunch, in between her shifts, or on the bus; it wasn't quality time, time alone.  
"I know." Lana gave him a small kiss, which Clark returned with a passionate one. Lana wasn't one for making out in public, but she had no other time with Clark.  
Lana wasn't sitting on Clark's lap, but her legs were across him, and he used that to his advantage as he gripped her thigh gently. Lana and Clark both almost flew into the seat in front of them, as the bus came to a sudden stop- Lana's stop.  
"I hate the bus." Clark complained. He was only taking it to get an extra 20 minutes a day with Lana.  
Lana just laughed, "Bye Clark." She grabbed her book bag and exited the bus. The extra time did give him some time to think though.  
Clark's main goal, now that he had Lana, was to get the Kents to trust him, maybe even like him. Clark really did miss the feeling of being loved by a parent.  
&  
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&TBC... 


	33. Questions

Clark woke to the irritating sound of his alarm clock beeping. He slammed it off, and rolled over, he wasn't going to school today. He had gone constantly for almost a month, which was going beyond his duty, Clark thought.  
"Wake up." Clark heard his brother tell him.  
"Go away." Clark put a pillow over his head. Clark felt someone jump on him, "God, get off me." Clark woke up long enough to shove Lex off the bed, "What are you? Five or something?"  
Clark definitely wasn't a morning person, and Lex knew it. Clark was only happy when he could sleep threw the morning entirely and wake up around 1pm.  
"Get up." Lex Playfully slapped Clark in the head, when he tried to go back to sleep.  
"WHAT!" Clark sat up in bed, really annoyed, and the fact that Lex was laughing his ass off, didn't help either.   
"Clark, I swear, you are such a bitch in the morning." Lex teased. Clark couldn't help but start laughing.  
"Seriously, Lex. What do you want?" Clark ran his fingers threw his bed hair, "Cause I doubt you got me up for school."  
Lex laughed again, "It's Saturday, and I got you up because we have a photo shoot in an hour."  
"Right." Clark was just remembering, "Can't we cancel it?"  
"I'm not canceling because you are too lazy to get your ass out of bed." Lex stole Clark's pillow as he walked out.  
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Clark was still half awake pulled cold pizza out of the fridge for breakfast.  
"Ewe, don't eat that." Lex cringed at his brother's choice of breakfast.  
Clark ignored him as he took bite of the pizza.  
"Are you ready?" Lex asked.  
"Sure." Clark hopped off the stool, and grabbed his coat and grabbed the keys to the Ferrari, "I'm driving though."  
"Nope." Lex grabbed the keys from him. Lex always drove, it was like an unspoken rule, "Besides you don't' even know where we are going."  
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"Clark, seriously, pick a station and stop switching." Lex commented on how Clark would switch radio stations every 30 seconds without fail.  
"Sorry." Clark settled on one, "So what's this for anyways?"  
"The magazine is doing a big story on our family, and Dad's PR people told dad that he needs to get more in touch with the people, or some crap, I forget." Lex made a sharp turn with the car.  
"Dad is going to be there..." Clark sighed and rolled his eyes, "What kind of story?"  
"Geez, Clark. I told you all this yesterday, did you hear anything I said?" Lex teased.  
"Sorry, I guess my mind was somewhere else." Clark laughed.  
"On Lana no doubt." Lex joked, "But anyways the story is about how we are a normal family, or some bullshit."  
"No, I hate these kinds of things. They are so lame and fake." Clark rolled his eyes again.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&**2 days later**  
Clark heard his cell phone vibrating on the glass table in front of the TV, which he was watching.  
Clark grabbed it, "Hello?" He didn't look at the caller Id, he didn't have time, it had rung too many times.  
"Clark, guess what?" Lana chimed happily into the one.  
"Hey." Clark said turning down the TV, to actually pat attention.  
"I'm officially un-grounded." Lana laughed.  
"That is awesome, so do you want to come over tomorrow?" Clark was so glad Lana was done with her penance.  
"Sure, but you'd have to pick me up. My car is having serious problems." Lana told him.  
"That's not a problem." Clark laughed.  
"Oh, wait..." Lana sounded disappointed, "We have that huge history test on Thursday. I really have to study for it."  
Clark admired Lana's commitment. He never had to worry about grades, he was guaranteed to pass, "Oh, but we haven't spent any real time together in weeks." Clark missed her.  
"Well... it's not the most exciting thing, but you could come over and study with me." Lana suggested.  
It was better than nothing, "Alright."  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark parked his silver Porsche in the Kent's dirt driveway. He became up behind Martha who was struggling with multiple grocery bags, "Here let me help you." Clark took 3 bags away from her.  
Martha didn't even hear Clark pull up, and was surprised by both his presence and courtesy.  
Clark pushed open the screen door with his back, and set the bags down on the table, only to find himself eye to eye with Jonathan, "What are you doing here?"  
"Oh... um..." Clark was caught off guard by Jonathan's coldness towards him, especially when Jonathan finally started being pleasant to him. Okay, maybe not pleasant, but he had definitely had made some progress, "I'm here to study with Lana."  
Jonathan knew Clark was going to show up the day Lana's punishment was up. He didn't like, sure he saw the changes in Clark, but he still had those dangerous traits that are inevitable in Luthers, and he wasn't about to jump for joy that Clark was going to start hanging around with his daughter again.  
Martha came into the door, with the remaining 2 grocery bags, "Thanks Clark."  
Clark noticed Jonathan ease up a bit at his wife's words.  
"No problem, Mrs. Kent." Clark said, trying to get out of the awkward scene with Jonathan quickly, "Is Lana here?"  
"Ya, she's in her room." Martha told him cheerfully.  
Jonathan stopped Clark before he could climb the stairs, "Listen, Clark. I don't want you dragging my daughter into any more trouble."  
"I won't." Clark promised, before heading up to Lana's room.  
"Jonathan, try and give him a chance." Martha said once her husband entered the kitchen.  
"I am Martha, but I can't just put faith in him after he's done so much." Jonathan made a good point.  
"I know. But it's hard for him. You can see he is obviously making an effort. You can't keep treating him like he is some sort of disease." Martha said.  
Jonathan fought the urge to compare the Luthers and the plague, "Martha, why do you always defend him?"  
"I'm not sure." Martha said honestly, "Maybe it's the mother in me, but I see a boy who's been through a lot the past year, and now he just had a major falling out with his father, from what Lana's told me, and I know what that is like, how much it hurts. He is trying, why can't you?"  
"It's not that easy. Martha, what if you're wrong about him? If this sudden transformation is an act? I'm just looking out for daughter." Jonathan pointed out.  
The thought had crossed Martha's mind, "The way I see it, we've raised Lana the best we could, and taught her to be a good person. If it's not Clark it will be some other temptation. I trust Lana's judgment, and I don't think she'd love someone who didn't have a good heart."  
Jonathan knew she was right, but his hatred for the Luthers had been around much longer, and it was so hard to break.  
"Jonathan, your daughter is hurt by the fact that you are so un-approving. Do you even see how far apart you two are drifting? She loves him, and you are going to have to accept that." Martha walked out of the room.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark walked into Lana's room; she was reading a magazine.  
"Clark." She smiled and held up the magazine with Lex, Lionel, and himself on the cover, "I never knew you played the guitar."  
"Why would you buy that?" Clark referred to the magazine.  
"I think it's cool, Clark." Lana turned the page.  
"No, seriously, don't read that." Clark snatched the magazine out of her hands, "It's lame."  
"Ah! Come on Clark!" Lana laughed, "I was just getting to the good part! You and Lex seem so cute together."  
Clark rolled his eyes, "No."  
Lana laughed, "Fine. You are such a party pooper."  
"What if I gave you an exclusive interview?" Clark joked.  
"Alright." Lana pulled him onto the bed, "What's your happiest childhood memory?"  
"Uh..." Clark had to think about that, "When I was 7 years old, I really started to get my speed and strength. Now Lex could always beat me at any game, weather it was a race, or a mind game, he always won. One day we were wrestling and I finally beat him at something, and I know it's seems dumb, but I just remember feeling so proud, because if I could Lex, I could do anything." Clark couldn't' help but smile at the memory, "God, now I feel so dumb."  
"No, that was cute!" Lana chuckled. "Okay... who was the first girl you kissed?"   
"Um... I don't remember." Clark said honestly.  
"What? How can you not remember! Everyone remembers their first kiss." Lana lightly punched him in the arm, "Come on; tell me."   
"No, I'm telling the truth." Clark had kissed lots of girls, but none of them were worth remembering; they were all for show, or it was out of pure horniness.  
"Whatever." Lana still didn't believe him, "What's your best and worst day?"  
Clark laughed, and kissed Lana, "My best day had to be a special night two weeks ago."  
Lana blushed; it was her happiest day too, well at least the first half was.  
When Clark thought about his worst day ever, he vividly remembered a day that truly never existed. He was Clark Kent, lying in bed, dangerously close to ending his own life, but Lana saved him. Yet it was another world, that didn't exist anymore, yet he could never forget that pain, "I don't have a worst day." Clark lied, and Lana knew it, but there was no way she was going to push him.  
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okay this isn't' a full chapter, but I'll give u that when I get it. Sorry have trouble focusing on writing, but it's been awhile, so this is what I have so far. 


	34. Trails

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Clark shot up, waking from a nightmare. He found himself on the floor of his bedroom. He was sweaty and couldn't control his body from trembling. He laid flat against the cold wood floor as he caught his breath.  
When he got up he saw that his clock read 2:56am. Clark tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. Flying seemed more likely than him getting a few more hours of sleep in, so he got up.  
After about an hour of watching mindless TV, Clark was bored stiff, and he felt tired and exhausted. But yet, sleep would not come.  
Clark admired everyone else for coping with the flaws of a human body; but he was not accustomed to the weakness it brought, and how easily exhausted they became. Once again the fear and worry leaked back into his mind; why hadn't his abilities returned? Why had his body been giving out more and more lately? Why, no matter how much sleep he got, the more tired he felt by each growing day?  
Clark couldn't ignore the nagging questions in the back of his mind anymore, and he pulled out his cell phone to call his nurse, Judy.   
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&   
  
"Yes, I want you to do all the tests on me this time." Clark rolled up his sleeve as his nurse extracted a blood sample, "Because you are missing something."  
Judy turned around, to hide the pang of guilt her face would reveal. She continued on with her physical exam of Clark, and told him what she had the past 5 times, "Clark, everything seems normal. I'm sorry; I can't explain the symptoms you claim to have."  
"You're missing something." Clark insisted, "It's getting worse each day." His voice was edgy with fear and frustration at lack of answers.  
"Clark, I did all the tests, you are healthy. You are probably just getting used to your new condition. It's probably hitting you harder than a regular person because you haven't been used to it your whole life." She reasoned.  
"That's not it." Clark stormed out, scared, angry, and confused.   
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"Mr. Luther, please." Judy begged Lionel.  
"Judith, my word is final. Continue with the medication; Clark can not regain his abilities." Lionel was annoyed.  
"But it's having serious side effects. No matter how small the dosage of meteor rocks, it still has just enough effect to strip him of his strength, speed, and X-ray. That serum is doing serious damage to his body!" She hoped he would give her permission to stop the medication she had been giving Clark, unknowingly to him, every two weeks for the past few months.  
"He's fine." Lionel hadn't seen any seriously illness in his boy.  
"No, he's not! His body is rapidly deteriorating. It's finally have lasting effects, that can not be reversed!" She felt so guilt and angry.  
"You don't' know that." Lionel reasoned.  
"Mr. Luther, the last tests I did on Clark, confirmed my suspicions. Clark called me in the middle of the night, demanding I do tests. Now you know he wouldn't do something like that if he wasn't extremely concerned. He can feel it now; it's stripping more than just his abilities." She pleaded for him to see.  
"He may be worried, but it's normal. He doesn't know how to deal with the everyday struggles of the human body. How can he know what is even to be a justified concern?" Lionel said.  
"If you do not stop the treatments now, he is at serious risk for further irreversible damage to his body." She made it clear, so he couldn't humor himself, so he did not have to feel guilty.  
"I'll have to take that risk." He said coldly.  
"He could die!" She shouted, so angry at his cold-heartedness.  
Lionel gave her a dangerous glare, at her outburst, "You will continue to give him the proper dosage." He turned and left.Judy was in tears. She was ruining Clark's health because of her fear of Lionel's wrath. He could destroy her life, if she didn't do as he wished, but how could that justify her actions? She had been playing survival of the fittest, saving her own life by destroying another. And not just anyone- Clark. He trusted her, and she used that trust to betray him. Not anymore. Consequences be damned. She was not only never going to ever drug Clark again, she was going to tell him the whole truth of why his body was failing him.  
She knew she was most likely forfeiting her life, but she didn't want to continue living it anymore if she was at fault for Clark's death. Already, the guilt she felt was almost unbearable, especially when Clark reached out to her for answers, with his petrified eyes starring through her. She lied to him, time and time again, saying he was alright, when he could feel it wasn't.  
It stopped here.   
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Clark stared down at his desk, oblivious to the class being given around him. 16 minutes ago he had taken up his pencil, preparing to take notes, but the pencil shook uncontrollably in his hands, as the tremors went threw his hand. They had stopped within less than 30 seconds, but Clark was still staring at his hand. That had never happened before. Clark set the palm of his hand flat against the desk as it trembled again, this time not stopping at his hand, but reaching further to his arm. Clark steadied his arm with his other hand, snapping out of his focus.  
He looked up to see Lana wide-eyed staring at him 2 desks over. She had undoubtedly seen, and it had scared her just as much as him. Clark hated it. If Lana was worried, he couldn't even hide behind the thin masquerade that he was alright. No, once Lana found out about his body's failing state, then he would really have to face all the fear in his mind, head on. So as much as he loved and trusted Lana, he had in no way made her aware of his unhealthy state.  
Lana's eyes still gazed at him. He had to look away, because his eyes could not reassure he was fine.  
Clark practically jumped out the door, when the bell rang. But Lana was quick to follow him.  
"Clark?" She said it as a question. He knew she meant it as a plea for an explanation, but avoided it.  
"Hi Lana." He struggled to sound normal.  
"What's wrong?" She gently squeezed his arm.  
"Nothing." He lied and forced a smile, but Lana was not deceived.  
"Clark, something has been bothering you lately, and today in class... your face... you looked so scared." She didn't want to say the word 'scared' because Clark always got defensive when accused of feelings like that, but he didn't this time. Instead he said nothing. His lack of denial was a red flag, it was as good as him admitting there was a problem.  
"Is it your dad?" Lana asked, trying to help him open up, aware of how difficult it was for him.  
"No..." He couldn't lie; he had to tell her, "I just haven't been feeling so great lately."  
Lana's eyes flashed with alarm. Was he falling back into his depression?  
"What do you mean?" She could never outright ask if he was depressed.  
"I... um..." Clark didn't know why it was so hard to just say he was sick, but it was. So Lana had to keep guessing.  
"Clark, I know all this stuff with your dad is pretty stressful and you know, it's alright to feel sad every once in a while." Lana intertwined her fingers with Clark's, as they exited the school.  
Although Clark did feel a sadness of no longer having a relationship with his father, that wasn't the big issue, "No, it's not like that." He took a deep breath, and mentally kicked himself for holding back so long, "It's my body. I'm not in good physical shape."  
Lana thought that scared her more than if he had been depressed, "That's why your arm was shaking. What's happening? Why?" Lana just assumed he had the answers and that it was going to be the next words of his mouth.  
"I don't know. My tests say I'm healthy, and they can't explain my tremors, chest pains, or constant fatigue." Clark let her know his symptoms.  
Lana didn't know what to say. No matter how brave Clark seemed, she knew he was losing sleep over this.  
Clark couldn't stand the look of pain and worry on Lana's face and regretted telling her; making her worry, "It's not that bad." Clark forced a grin, as he continued on his path to his car.  
"Clark." Lana knew how eager he was to change the subject, "Are you still coming over tonight?"  
"Yeah." He smiled, but it immediately faded, as he looked away, and drove off.  
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"Hi, Clark." Jonathan greeted him as he came inside the house. Clark smiled. It was nice having Jonathan acknowledge his presence without a look of distrust. Jonathan had really been pleasant to Clark the past week; they even had conversations that didn't end in yelling. Clark really appreciated Jonathan's willingness to give him a chance.  
"Hey, Mr. Kent." Clark flashed a grin, before Lana came into the room.  
"Hi, Clark." Lana had felt so good, until she learned of Clark's problem this afternoon. The two men she loved most in her life were getting along, which made her relationship with her father increase it's strength tenfold.  
"Hey." Clark gave Lana kiss on the cheek. It would have been more, but Jonathan was in the room, and despite the progress in their relationship, Clark knew Jonathan wouldn't allow him any gesture less innocent than a kiss on the cheek.  
All 3 of them turned to the door, as a woman in her earlier 40's walked in.  
"Can I help you?" Jonathan asked, having never seen her before.  
Clark recognized her at once, it was Judy, his nurse.  
"Clark, I'm sorry to come here, but I followed you from the mansion. I couldn't tell you this there." She looked extremely nervous.  
"What's wrong?" Clark sensed it was something important.  
"Um..." She looked at Jonathan, posing an unspoken question to Clark.  
"It's okay, you can say it in front of them." Clark assured her.   
"Clark..." A tear slide down her cheek, "You are going to hate me for this... and you should..."  
Lana wrapped an arm around Clark's waist and held his hand, showing she was here for support.  
"What?" Clark asked, "Just say it."  
"I lied the other night when I told you that you were healthy." She had to say this all at once, "I let Lionel manipulate me into drugging you... it was a serum he had made. It had such small traces of refined meteor rock, that it would only strip your powers, and leave you with the normal functions of any other human being. Two weeks ago I started seeing a change in your physical state, as you probably did too. The serum is having lasting effects now... the meteor fragments inside it are attacking your vital organs. At first it just stayed in your bloodstream, but now it has moved on." She couldn't look at Clark, as he waited for his response.  
Lana could feel Clark's whole body tense up, "What are you saying? Lasting effects?"

His question surprised her, as she expected immediate anger. But Clark needed to know it all first, before he could release his anger.  
"I'm not sure how much damage it has done so far... it should run it's course and the serum will dissipate in your body. After that, you should begin to regain everything you lost. But that was before..." That was what was supposed to happen, but she didn't know, because it was never supposed to affect him like it was, "There is a chance that you could recover without almost any real damage, but I doubt it." She owed him honesty.  
"Am I dying?" Clark asked seriously, because the thought had crossed his mind three time a day at least.  
"No, no." She tried to ease his concern, "As long as you don't receive anymore treatments."  
"Why would my dad want to kill me?" Clark felt the ultimate betrayal upon his already heavy burdened shoulders.  
"He knew the effects it was having on you, but he wasn't trying to kill you. He just wanted your abilities stripped." She told him.  
Clark had all the information he needed, and he was raw with anger, "Get out."  
"Listen, Clark... I'm truly sorry." She needed forgiveness from him, but he wasn't going to give it, he had been betrayed too many times. He was losing faith in mankind.  
  
_I could be mean, I could be angry,  
You know I could be just like you.  
I could be fake, I could be stupid,  
You know I could be just like you._  
  
"Shut up." He clenched his fists, "I trusted you... and you knew that. I came to you week after week asking you what was wrong with me! You lied to my face every time! You not only weakened me to the point were I couldn't focus enough to fight back against my father, now you are telling me that I'm never going to be healthy again."  
  
_I thought you were standing beside me, you were only in my way, You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way, you're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. You thought you were there to guide me you were only in my way, You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. _  
  
"Clark-" She tried to explain how threatening Lionel could be, but Clark cut her off.  
"I don't care about anything you have to say to me! Get out!" The anger pulsed threw him so strongly it was hard to stop at just yelling.  
Judy quickly disappeared from the house and into the night, driving off in her car.  
"Clark, are you okay?" Lana rubbed his arm. Clark was smoldering with rage and didn't trust his tongue, so he said nothing.  
Jonathan felt for Clark. He realized that he truly did care for Clark, when he felt the need to lash out at Lionel, in Clark's defense, and it truly surprised him at the depth of which his feelings for Clark laid.  
Clark sat down on the couch; his knuckles white as he griped the armrest in rage, "I'll kill him."  
  
_I could be cold, I could be ruthless,  
You know I could be just like you.  
I could be weak, I could be senseless, You know I could be just like you._  
  
Jonathan or Lana, didn't have to ask who he was referring to. He wanted revenge on Lionel. Jonathan could not help but feel that need to. If he had been Clark, he didn't even know how he would react. He had, had a wonderful father growing up, and Jonathan always trusted Hiram, he fell to his father when times were hard. But what do you do when your father is the problem? Lionel's betrayal went far beyond any squabbles Jonathan ever had with Hiram. Lionel had been willing to sacrifice his own son's life, for reasons unknown.  
"Clark, listen, calm down... don't do anything rash." Jonathan had to try and put out the fire of anger that Clark was feeling.  
"He was slowly killing me... because I wouldn't love him..." Clark felt such anger at that thought that it scared him.  
  
_On my own,  
cause I can't take living with you.  
All alone,  
So I wont turn out like you want me to._  
  
Clark jumped up from the chair and headed for the door.  
"Clark, don't." Jonathan placed a hand on Clark's shoulder.  
"Why? The world is better off with him dead." Until now Clark had never really wanted his father dead. He hadn't crossed that line; Lionel had shoved him over it.  
"It's not your place, Clark. You can't do this." Jonathan tried to reason with Clark, but when you are feeling rage and betrayal that deep, it is a wonder how he could even speak or hear the words Jonathan was speaking.  
"It is!" Clark screamed, "I'm his son. And I'm finally going to act like it!" Clark shouted it, and Jonathan and Lana understood the hidden meaning, because they knew about how Lionel had killed his parents.  
"No!" Lana screamed and ran out of the house after him.  
"Lana, go back inside." Clark instructed.  
"You are going to ruin your life." Lana had to stop him.  
"No, I'm going to make something of it! If I can stop him... I've rid the world of a great evil, and my life will make a difference." Clark slammed his car door shut and disappear in the darkness of the night, as he drove away.  
  
_I could be mean, I could be angry,  
You know I could be just like you._  
  
Lana watched him go with tears in her eyes. She felt her father's hands on her shoulder, "We have to stop him."  
"Lana..." Jonathan felt the urge too, but he could not afford to get tangled into the extremely dangerous battles the Luthers played. He had a daughter and wife to provide for, and he could not afford to end up dead.  
"Dad..." Lana felt despair grip her heart. She knew that if Clark killed Lionel it would ruin everything. He would get away with it, as that was what money bought, but she couldn't be with him. She could not love a murderer.  
Yet she had to let him go, without chasing him, because she knew there was nothing she could do. If he could truly kill Lionel, then he wasn't worth chasing after. Yet her heart urged her to go...  
Lana was only sure of only one thing... tonight would completely shattered whatever was left of Clark's innocence, because she was certain that tonight would only end in tragedy.  
  
_You thought you were standing beside me, you were only in my way, You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way, you're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you, You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way, You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you._  
  
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& TBC...  
  
Okay! I FINALLY got back into the writing groove, I was having a bit of lack of motivation. lol, sorry for the gap in updates. You deserve this extra long update since I didn't do any for like 5 days.  
Okay purdy please reply so I don't end up days and days with writing again. thanks!  
Okay, song lyrics by Three Days Grace "Just like You"


	35. Verdict

  
  
Clark's heart was racing from rage and anticipation. He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles. Clark had always assumed he was safe from Lionel's evil games, but how could he been so stupid to think that? Of course he would be at the top of Lionel's list. Months ago he realized that Lionel was never going to let him go, that he was indeed Lionel's weakness, so why hadn't he seen this coming?  
Clark knew... his emotions always found a way of blinding him. In the back of his mind, a nagging thought entered his mind. He was being blinded again. But he had to stop Lionel... he had to die. Clark was trying to mentally brace himself for what he had to inflict upon Lionel... not only for himself; but for every other life Lionel would destroy. But he couldn't do it. Clark had been at the climax of his anger when he left the farmhouse, and although he was still venting with anger, it was slowly calming inside of him, but not going away. No, it was all settling in him, clearing his thoughts.  
Clark was Lionel's son, and he had learned so much from Lionel. Time to put that knowledge to use. Clark had no doubt that he could get away with Lionel's murder, especially without Lionel there, but he couldn't even bring himself, even in his mind, to pull the trigger. Clark knew if he killed Lionel he would become him, and wherever the thought came from, it reeked with truth.  
But Clark had to stop him; there was no room for doubt.  
Clark didn't know whether to feel relieved, scared, or happy that Lionel's car was parked in the garage. Clark quietly stepped out of his car and shut the door, as he made his way inside the mansion.  
Without having to look, Clark knew Lionel was in his office. But Clark went to his room; though it was just a pit stop. Clark threw the clothes out of his closet, making room for him to see the safe in the back of the wall. With shaky hands, he punched in the code, and opened the safe, pulling out a gun.  
  
_Break my bones  
Increase the pain  
Piece By piece_  
  
Clark pulled out 2 bullets and loaded them into the gun. Two was all he needed. Clark was sitting on the floor, his back leaning against his bed. Clark mentally scolded himself, he was ready; why was he just sitting here? But he couldn't move... he was mentally preparing himself for what was going to happen.  
He knew exactly what he was going to do... yet he felt so nervous that he was dangerously close to vomiting. What if he messed up and things went terribly wrong?   
Clark couldn't help but over analyze everything in his mind. He wished he could see Lana and Lex before...  
  
_You break me  
Pick up the cross  
It's killing time _  
  
Clark took a deep breath as he stood up; gathering his strength, and putting on the cool façade he had used all his life, as he stepped outside his door. This was too important for his emotions to get in the way and for him to wreck everything. Clark held the gun tight within his hand, close to his hip.  
Clark walked into Lionel's office, taking mental note of the security cameras that occupied the corners of the room. Lionel hadn't noticed Clark yet; he had his back turned. Clark reached in his pocket and speed dialed Lex's phone, and as soon as Lex picked up, Clark hung up. He sent a text message to Lex, just before discarding his phone.  
"Clark, I didn't notice you there." Lionel carefully surveyed Clark.  
Clark didn't say anything, not yet.  
"What are you-" Lionel's eyes caught sight of the gun in Clark's hand, "What are you doing?"  
Clark didn't know how to start the chain of events to set his whole plan off. Clark took a step closer, twisting the gun I his hand.  
"Clark, what did you do?" Lionel guessed by Clark's expression that Clark had already used the gun.  
  
_Hey! Hey! Hey!  
How can I scream when  
The pain is such a relief_  
  
Clark suppressed his rage, "I didn't do anything."  
"Give me the gun." Lionel reached for it, and Clark moved it out of his reach,  
"No!"  
Lionel didn't know what Clark was doing, "Alright, Clark." He took a step towards Clark, and put a hand on Clark's shoulder.  
Clark pulled away, "Don't."  
Lionel didn't back off, but gripped Clark's wrist; it was the hand with the gun. Clark pretended to struggle as Lionel ripped the guns from his hands.  
"Now tell me what you are doing." Lionel said, holding the gun at his side.  
"It must be hard having two sons who hate you." Clark gave the tinniest smirk.  
Lionel just stared at him, without words.  
"I only wish I could remember the look on your face when I revealed my knowledge of your past..." Clark's smirk grew bigger, "You are cunning; I'll give you that. But no matter how much I hate it, I'm your son. You always taught me it was survival of the fittest, but I never believed you would try and kill me."  
  
_Kill me! Kill me! Kill me, ya!  
Kill me, heal me!  
Kill me, heal me ya!  
Kill me, heal me all along_  
  
"Clark, are you on drugs again?" Lionel knew he wasn't.  
"Sure, Lionel. I'm high." Clark said sarcastically, "Judy told me what you've been doing to me... making me weak."  
"Clark, I know you trusted her, but she wasn't sound of mind. I was notified not 20 minutes ago that she killed herself." Lionel said calmly.  
"Lair!" Clark shouted, "You had her killed!" Clark lunged towards Lionel, who moved back.  
"Clark, I think you should just leave, before you do something you will really regret." Lionel said, moving so that his desk separated him from Clark.  
"Why? Anything I do I can always cover up, just like you do. But you're still losing Lionel, because the two people who are supposed to love you, hate you." Clark said it with conviction. He saw the glimmer of anger in Lionel's eyes, and continued to antagonize him, "Even with your billions of dollars, you are still a failure, Lionel."  
Clark smiled internally as he saw Lionel's anger grow, "Mom saw you for what you were! She hated it so much she killed Julian to protect him from you."  
Lionel couldn't hide the look of anger and surprise on his face, "Don't talk about things you know nothing about. Your brother was the one who ended Julian's life. It was an accident."   
"No it wasn't. Lex covered for her, because he knew you'd destroy her. It's true Lionel, and in the back of your mind you know it's true." Clark mentally pushed him, "You are responsible for his death; you drove her to it!"  
"No!" Lionel shouted it, but Clark was so close to getting what he wanted.  
"Your parents didn't love you either! They treated you like shit, like you treat me. So you killed them! You can't hold any relationships except out of fear." Clark said it with the hatred he was feeling inside, "and no matter how much you try and hide it, you are weak!" Clark used tactics he had heard Lionel inflict on Lex so many times growing up. He knew they were working by the fury he saw in Lionel's eyes.  
"Shut up!" Lionel bellowed.  
  
_I get the courage to  
Pick up the nails  
'Cause it's killing time_  
  
Clark was immensely surprised how little it was taking to infest Lionel with rage towards him, but then again it hurts most when the people you love, hurt you. Clark was scared to continue with the final blow, but he reached deep inside himself; pulling out the strength and courage he needed, "I hate and-"   
Clark let out a gasp, and a grin covered his face, as he grabbed his stomach and stumbled backwards.  
  
_Breathe in your love  
You're ferocious  
You're in my lungs  
Necessity, craving   
You're electricity  
  
Hey hey hey!  
Feature my pain  
Ya! You kill me  
With ways of fear  
Without peace  
Ya! Your love is poison_  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Lex pulled his vibrating cell phone from his pocket, and opened the text message.

**Lex,   
Come to the mansion. Emergency. Make sure you get security tapes before Lionel. Hurry!  
-Clark**

"What?" Lex didn't understand exactly what that meant, but nonetheless he turned his car around. Clark was not one to cry wolf, especially with him. Lex normally drove fast, but now he was going so fast it was like flying.  
He stopped his car outside the mansion and slammed the door as he jogged into the mansion.  
He immediately heard shouts from Lionel's office, and raced up the stairs, and slammed open the door. The shouting had stopped, and the only person Lex saw in the room was Lionel, and he was smoldering and an expression of satisfaction and shock covered his face.  
Lex had never felt a sense of tragedy so much in his life, and yet he didn't know why.  
"Dad, what are you doing?" Lex tried to sound casual, but it was hard. Lionel's eyes were locked on the floor. Lex panicked, as he smelt the familiar aroma of gunpowder, and saw the gun at Lionel's hip.  
  
_Kill me! Kill me!  
Kill me, heal me all along!  
KILL ME!!!  
I can't live without it  
I can't live without it  
I can't live without it_  
  
Lex quickly moved closer, and saw what the couch had been blocking, from his previous point of view.  
His brother was sprawled out on the floor, one hand over a large spot of blood, which continued to grow.  
No, this wasn't happening. It was impossible. Lionel wouldn't shoot Clark... yet he had.  
  
_Kill me! Kill me! Kill me, ya!  
Kill me, heal me!  
Kill me, heal me ya!  
Kill me, heal me all along_  
  
"What did you do?" Lex thought he had screamed it, but it came out as less than a whisper, in his panicked state. Lionel again was silent, as Lex dropped to the floor over Clark.  
"Clark." He nudged Clark's head, provoking Clark to open his eyes a slit.  
"Lex?" Clark was breathing hard, "I stopped him." Lex thought he saw Clark try to smile, but it was twisted into a look of pain.  
Lex ripped open Clark's shirt to reveal two bullet wounds. One was in his lower abdomen and the other was in his chest, not quite as high as his shoulder, it was placed directly on his chest, opposite to his heart.  
Lex removed Clark's hand from the wound, but Clark let out a gasp.  
"Clark, hold on." Lex had never been so panicked like this. It was hard just to think. It was only a miracle that he managed to make a call for help, as he held his dying brother in his arms.  
"Clark, stay awake." Lex couldn't help but notice that Clark's blood had increased double already. He had to stop the bleeding if Clark was even going to have a chance.  
When Lex finally broke his gaze from Clark, to look for something to stop the bleeding, he saw Lionel was gone; for how long, he didn't know.  
Lex pulled off his shirt and wadded it up, as he set it on Clark's stomach and applied pressure, trying to stop the bleeding.  
Clark let out the most painful scream Lex had ever heard. Lex's instinct was to stop pressing against Clark's wound with his shirt, but he couldn't, Clark would die. So Lex tried not to cry as Clark cried out in pain.  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
  
song lyrics by skillet "kill me, heal me" 


	36. Endurance

  
  
3 paramedics rushed to Clark's side, as Lex stepped out of their way. The first one to reach Clark, slipped on the massive amount of blood on the wood floor, but caught himself on the couch.  
"What happened to him?" The Second paramedic asked.  
"He was shot." Lex said as the paramedics counted together.  
"One... Two... Three..." They hoisted Clark on to the stretcher, but Clark didn't cry out, he was already unconscious.  
Lex stayed there, kneeling in Clark's blood as they rushed him out of the room.  
Lex covered his face with his hands, but let out a gasp as he got blood all over his face. Lex's mind would not stop racing with thoughts, while his body seemed incapable of moving.  
Clark knew this was going to happen, he had sent him that message... how could he have known? Why would Lionel shoot Clark? Lex couldn't get Clark's raspy words out of his head 'I stop him.' How? What did that even mean?  
Then Lex remembered the second part to Clark's message- the security tapes.  
The motivation finally allowed his body to move as he ran, his shoes slippery with blood, as was the rest of his body, to the security room. He found the monitor for Lionel's office, and popped out the tape and tucked it under his arm.  
Lex was hit with a sudden realization. Clark was taken to the hospital alone. Why hadn't he followed Clark? Lex ran as fast as he could to his car, making up for lost time. The drive to the hospital had also given him time to realize that he had to be there, to make sure whoever the doctor was who worked on Clark, would not reveal his unique DNA to anyone.  
Lex received stares from everyone, as he entered the hospital, drenched in Clark's blood, he ran up to the main desk, "My brother, he just came in here with gun shot wounds, his name is Clark Luther."  
Clark wasn't the nurse's patient, but vividly remembered him; "They are taking him into surgery." Her tone felt as if she also said 'I'm sorry.'  
"I need to be there with him." Lex's voice was filled with urgency and worry.  
"Down the hall, first door. He might not have gone in yet." She pointed.  
Lex didn't have time to thank her as he dashed off in the direction she pointed him.  
He entered the room just as Clark was being rolled out of the room. There was an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. Lex could see he was still bleeding, due to their efforts.  
"Are you his guardian?" A doctor asked him.  
"I'm his older brother." Lex told him. The doctor looked worried.  
"He needs to go into surgery immediately, but we need the guardian's consent." He explained.  
"I'm his guardian." Lex lied, and the doctor knew it, but Clark was in critical condition.  
They pushed Clark into one of the operating rooms.  
"I'm sorry sir, you can't go in there." A nurse blocked his path.  
Lex was about to protest, but it would only hurt Clark. They wouldn't find anything unusual about Clark in surgery, only in blood tests, so he stepped to the side, where a nurse escorted him to the waiting room.  
Lex couldn't help his brother... and it was killing him. If Clark died, Lex would lose it. He would hunt Lionel down and kill him.  
Lex had no idea why the thought popped into his head, but he pulled out his phone to call Lana. If Clark did make it, he would want the girl he loved most there, by his side.  
"Hello?" Lana's voice already sounded worried.  
"Lana, it's Lex." His voice was shaky.  
"No..." Lana cried, "What happened?"  
Lex didn't know how she sensed it, "Clark's been shot twice."  
Lex heard Lana gasp, "Is he..." Lana couldn't say the word, saying it made it a possibility. He couldn't die.  
"He's in surgery, but he isn't doing well. He most likely won't make it." Lex gave her the blunt truth. He was so rattled by tonight's events that he couldn't sugar coat it even a little.  
"... Are you at Smallville Medical Center?" Her voice cracked.  
"Yeah." Lex said.  
"I'll be down there in 15 minutes." She hung up.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Jonathan heard his daughter crying into the phone in the kitchen. He walked in just as she hung up.  
"Lana, what's wrong?" Jonathan knew it was about Clark.  
"Clark's was shot twice... Lex said he probably won't make it." Lana sobbed, "I have to go see him."  
She grabbed the keys off the counter. Jonathan wrapped his arms around her as he felt her whole body shake with each sob, "You are in no condition to drive; I'll take you."  
Jonathan felt a spasm of guilt and sorrow wash over him. What had Clark done? Jonathan didn't dare ask Lana if she knew who shot him. She was already emotionally shattered.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Lana turned her gaze away from Lex once she saw the blood that covered him. Jonathan went up to him, "Lex how's Clark?"  
Lex looked like he had been through hell and back, as he looked up, "Jonathan... oh... uh... Clark's still in surgery, I don't know anything."  
Lana finally mustered up the courage to look at Lex again, this time keeping her gaze, "What happened to him." She took Lex's hand in hers, hoping to ease the pain she knew he was feeling, because she experienced it too.  
"I'm not sure..." Lex had been trying to piece together the night's events but his fragile mind wouldn't allow him rational thoughts.  
"Who shot him?" Jonathan asked, taking a seat next to Lana.  
"My Father." If Lex hadn't been in such deep grief, his eyes would have flashed with anger.  
"No..." Lana didn't want to know... this shouldn't be happening. She broke down again. Lex hugged her, hoping if he focused on her, that his mind could wander from the imposing heartbreak.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Lex was so frustrated. He couldn't get any news on Clark. He grabbed one of the nurses who he had seen by Clark earlier, "What is going on with him? I've been waiting there for 45 minutes!"  
"Mr. Luther, I know you are upset, but I will let you know the minute there is any news on Clark." She said patiently.  
Lex returned to his seat next to Lana. Jonathan had gone, to let Martha know what happened and where they were.  
"What's this?" Lana asked him, as she held up a video tape.  
"Oh... um... the security tape from Lionel's office." Lex had forgotten about it.  
"You mean... from tonight?" Lana's eyes darkened.  
"Yeah... Clark told me to get it." Lex explained further.  
"Then we have to watch it." Lana needed to know what happened. She couldn't shake the horrible feeling that maybe Lionel shot Clark in self defense. Lana didn't want to think about it, but she had to. The only thing worse than Clark fighting for his life in a hospital, was him deserving it. She didn't think Clark was capable of murder? but he was so angry.  
"You're right." Lex agreed.  
So Lana and Lex reluctantly found a nurse lounge with a TV/VCR in it. Lex locked the door. He didn't know what he was going to find, and couldn't afford for anyone to see.  
Lana had filled Lex in earlier, about how Lionel had been drugging Clark, and how Clark found out, driving off in a rage.  
Lex looked at Lana before pushing the 'play' button. They held hands as they watched.  
They saw Clark and Lionel obviously fighting from their gestures and facial expressions, but they couldn't hear what was being said, just distant shouting, the audio wasn't good enough to pick up their voices clearly.  
Lex and Lana both tensed up as they watched Lionel take the gun from Clark. Lana didn't want to see...   
Clark kept speaking, as Lionel grew angrier.  
Clark was about 4 feet from Lionel, when he raised the gun and pulled the trigger twice. Clark stumbled backwards as he gripped his stomach.  
Lana let out sob and turned away in horror. She didn't want to see that, it felt as if she had been the one shot. When she got the courage to look again, Lex was huddled over Clark, speaking to him. Clark opened his eyes half way and said something.  
"What did he say?" Lana wanted to know. But regretted asking, when she saw Lex's expression; he was going threw so much turmoil, what he was thinking was a mystery to her.  
"He said... 'I stopped him.'" Lex got it now; he was painfully aware of what his brother had attempted.  
Lana still didn't understand what happened. She knew, of course, that Lionel had shot Clark out of rage, but she didn't understand why Clark had let Lionel take control of the gun without more of a struggle or what Clark had meant by his last words.  
Lex was a Luther and knew the game all too well, but he knew how innocent Lana was, and sensed her confusion, and gave he gave her answers, "He brought it on himself, Lana."  
"How can you say that!" Lana said defensively, misunderstanding his meaning.  
"No, I don't mean that... he wanted Lionel to shoot him." Lex clarified.  
"Why would he possibly want that?" Lana asked.  
"Because he wanted Lionel to be taken down for... either murder or attempted murder." Lex wasn't sure if Clark was trying to get himself killed or if he was just extremely careless. Lionel could have shot him in the face, or struck a vital organ which would kill him instantly.  
Lana was reeling from the gained knowledge. She immediately felt great guilt upon her shoulders, "I should have stopped him... I saw how angry he was and..." the rest was cut off by a sob.  
Lex thought that the only pain worse could have been to feel responsible, and his heart felt for Lana, "No, Lana, it's not your fault. Clark knew exactly what he was doing, you couldn't have stopped him." It hurt Lex more to know Clark's intentions were good, because it proved even more what a good heart Clark had, and that made it all the more painful if he lost Clark.  
"Let's go see if they know anything about Clark." Lex wrapped an arm around Lana's shoulders as she choked back tears and exited the room, but not before taking the tape with them.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"Mr. Luther, sit down." The doctor said it with sympathy, but it did nothing to ease Lex's troubled heart.  
"How was the surgery? Is he okay?" Lex pressed him for answers that he wasn't sure he wanted.  
"There were some complications... Clark lost a massive amount of blood..." The doctor's eyes shone with bad news.  
Lex felt Lana's hand trembling in his at the doctor's words.  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
  
Okay please R&R  
  
and don't shoot me. wink 


	37. Exertion

  
  
"We almost lost him on the table..." The doctor continued.  
"Almost, that means he's alive?" Lex's heart pounded with hope.  
"Yes, and we managed to stabilize him, but that doesn't mean he will pull through. The night will be the true test. It all depends on how well his body can fight it, I really can't tell you anything sure, either way." The doctor's eyes darkened, "Although his body seems susceptible to infection and it doesn't seem odds are in his favor. His body was weakened from something previous. Does he have some kind of disease?"  
"No." Lex said thinking of the serum he had been injected with for months. Lex didn't know why he lied, because this particular doctor already knew all Clark's secrets.  
"Can we see him?" Lana broke the awkward, painful silence.  
"In about an hour we are going to move him down to the ICU, when his sedation wears off, and then you can visit him." He instructed him.  
"I want to see him now." Lex said sternly.  
"Mr. Luther, you can't. You will put the other patients at risk for disease." He said.  
"He could die anytime, you said it yourself." Lex pushed more.  
"He is stabilized, and will be fine for now. I swear if his condition changes, we will notify you." He said, trying not to feel intimidated by the Luther name, "And when he is moved to the ICU one of the nurses will call." The doctor gestured towards the phone, on a table in the middle of the waiting room.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

So Lana and Lex waited. Every time the phone rang, Lex and Lana jumped, but it was always to notify someone else on their loved one's condition.  
Finally their call came and they descended a floor. When Lex and Lana reached the thick double doors that led to the ICU, both their hearts raced. It had a rather large note stating that faculty alone was permitted, unless you were given permission to enter, and for that you had to call the nurse inside.  
Lex picked up the phone that was placed outside the door, just for that purpose and dialed the number posted on the wall above it.  
"I'm here to see Clark Luther... I'm his brother..." Lex entered, with Lana, after they had received permission.  
Lana let a tear slide down her cheek as the nurse escorted them to Clark. Lana felt panicked as she walked by all the other beds and saw how bad off the patients looked.  
Clark was placed in the last bed. Lana had always pictured the ICU differently; it was one large room, with about 20 beds, only separated by a curtain, and there was a large curved desk in the front.  
"He probably won't know what is going on, because of the medication." The nurse tried to prepare them a little, "I'll be at the nurses' station, just over there is you need anything." With that she left them.  
Lex and Lana pulled back the curtain and stepped inside. Lana felt herself go weak when she laid eyes upon Clark. He was so pale, and he had lost the glow of life and his spirit seemed to be depleted too.  
"Clark." Lex occupied the left side of his bed, as Lana positioned herself at the right.  
Clark opened his eyes and stared at Lex; it was an expression Lex had never witnessed on Clark before, and he didn't know what it meant, "Clark, it's Lex."  
"Lex..." Clark was barely audible.  
"How do you feel?" Lex asked, not sure what to say, but grateful to see Clark was alive.  
"I'm dying..." Clark croaked out with a tone of deep pain.  
"No, you're not." Lex assured him.  
"Why does it hurt so bad?" Clark's throat went tight, "What happened?"  
Lana was completely unprepared for this, and she was at loss for words. Clark looked so weak, and he looked on the verge of tears. His voice screamed of pain and fear. Lana had never seen Clark even close to this in her whole life. He was always so strong, and he could handle anything... he was about to cry... Lana had never seen him cry. It was so unlike Clark, and it threw her whole world off. It was then that Lana discovered there was a sorrow too deep for tears.  
She squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him. Clark turned his head, the movement was slow from exhaustion, towards Lana, for the first time he saw her.  
"Lana?" Clark blinked, as tears receded, for the time being.  
"Yeah, I'm here Clark." She forced a smile, and oh was it forced.  
Clark closed his eyes; Lex and Lana thought he had fallen asleep until they heard him groan in pain. Clark started breathing hard, as if in a panic. Lana noticed for the first time, the tube that was in Clark's nose, and wrapped around to and behind his ears.  
"Clark, what's wrong?" Lana asked.  
"I can't feel my arm..." Clark sounded so scared, and it grated on Lana's emotions. Lex grabbed a nurse,  
"He can't feel his arm." Lex told her.  
"Clark..." The nurse leaned over his bed, "Don't be worried, it's normal."   
"I can't feel it." Clark told her in a panic, not aware of what she was saying.  
"Clark, listen to me..." She placed a hand on his face, forcing him to look at her, "You're okay. Don't panic. It's the medication, you're alright. Are you okay?"  
Clark nodded his head, and his breathing slowly returned to normal.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Lana and Lex sat with Clark for more than an hour, in which Clark slept, before a nurse asked to talk to Lex, and he left.  
Lana realized she had been standing the whole time and spotted a chair in the corner. She finally let go of Clark's hand, to grab it, but Clark's eyes shot open, "Don't leave." He pleaded, again he sounded so fragile.  
"I'm not, Clark." She assured him, as she slid the chair under her and took a seat.  
Clark reached for her hand, and when he had it, he fell asleep again, just as Lex re-entered.  
"He's going to be okay." Lex's eyes glimmered with hope, "He is recovering really well, the doctors say. He responded really well to the medication."  
Lana's heart lifted a little, but she couldn't really feel the difference as she gazed upon Clark's pale complexion.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&The night had been particularly hard. Clark kept waking in a sweat with immense pain or vomiting. About half way through the night, Lex left, he had to take care of the legal matters and fill out police reports about the night's events.  
Lana missed the strength he brought to the room. Lex seemed to always know what to say, to calm Clark's fears, or if words couldn't help, he fetched a nurse to increase his pain killers.  
The second half of the night had been the hardest. Clark kept asking her what happened, and she didn't know how to tell him, and worried that if she told him Lionel shot him, he would get upset. Twice he asked her who she was, and even after she had responded with her name, he still had no memory of her, but then minutes later he would start up some odd conversation of the past, only to fall asleep mid sentence.  
Clark got most upset at around 4am when he tried to talk, and Lana couldn't understand him, he slurred his words too much. He kept trying to say something, and grew frustrated with the situation. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't get the words out.  
The nurse came in every hour to check Clark's vitals, and had to cut back on Clark's pain killers because of the side effects they were having on him- the slurred speech the main symptom, but it could be extremely harmful in the aftermath.  
That made things even rougher; Clark couldn't sleep with the pain and he kept losing feeling in various parts of his body, which sent him into a panic each time. The nurse tried to explain to him that it was normal, but he would forget.  
After observing how much pain Clark truly was in, his nurse gave him another dose of morphine, because despite the harmful effects in might cause, if Clark couldn't sleep then he wouldn't have any of his energy restored and he couldn't recuperate.  
At about 7am, Lana couldn't hold off sleep anymore, and fell asleep at Clark's bedside.   
She woke around noon, and found Lex across from her.  
Clark was asleep and his hand was still entwined with Lana's, as it had been all night.  
"Lana, you should go home." Lex said, seeing how worn down she looked.  
"No, I have to stay here with him." Lana turned away from the sun leaking in threw the window.  
"It's okay, he's going to be fine. He's been sleeping for a few hours now. You should go home and get some sleep, eat, take a shower, something." Lex urged her.  
"But-" Lana began to protest, but was cut off.  
"He'll be fine, Lana. You did your part last night, I'm eternally grateful, but you are just going to run yourself down. Go home at least for a few hours, and come back tonight." Lex persuaded her, "I'll be here if anything happens."  
"Okay..." Lana kissed Clark on the cheek, careful not to wake him, "I'll bring you back something to eat."  
"Thanks." Lex smiled.  
Lana left unwillingly.  
&  
&  
& TBC...  
  
okay, R&R the bad & good  
  
**Oh, I wanted to dedicate that to my brother, who without him, I wouldn't have the experience to write this accurately. this and the next chapter are for him, even though he will never read this. lol**


	38. Revitalization

  
  
Lex had called Lana, convincing her to spend the night at home; getting a good night's sleep, assuring her Clark was doing alright.  
It was almost 11am, when Lana entered the hospital again. Once she was granted permission, she entered the ICU, making her way back to Clark's bed. She felt guilty for leaving him so long, but Lex had been so persuasive. What if he worse? Clark had desperately needed her that first night, and she felt horrible at the thought of him scared and alone- no, Lex was there, he wasn't alone, but still...  
Lana pulled back the curtain to find Clark had his bed propped up, and he was sitting up talking to Lex. She felt such a wave of relief sweep over her body, it was incredible. Clark had drastically improved from the previous night. His color had returned, and so had the radiance of life and spirit.  
It didn't take long for her to observe that his inner strength had returned too; he was once again the strong, valiant man she knew, even if his body was still incredibly weak.  
"Hi, Lana." He flashed her, a smile that set her at ease.  
"You look a lot better." She said, occupying the other chair by his bed.  
"Yeah, I knew he was going to be fine when he was awake at 8am and not threatening to kill anyone." Lex teased, lighting the mood, as he touched on the common knowledge of Clark's inability to function in the morning. Lana loved Lex for it. He could be cool, and joke, and make Clark feel okay. She wished she could do the same, and have the ability to fill the awkward silences, not make them. But it was so hard when you are staring at the person you love most, in a hospital bed.  
Clark chuckled, "If I wasn't confined to this bed; I'd beat your ass."   
"Yeah, he's gonna live." Lex smirked at Lana.  
Lex sensed Lana and Clark needed a moment alone, and he hadn't eaten in hours, "Well, since I don't share in Clark's sudden love of the morning, I'm going to go get a cup of coffee and something to eat. I'll be back in an hour." Lex smiled.  
"No, you won't. Go home Lex, I don't want you sitting around here. I'll be fine." Clark did not intent to let Lex live at the hospital the next few days.  
Lex knew Clark would win out in the end anyways, so he just submitted, "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning. If you get bored just call me." Lex slipped Clark's cell, which he had retrieved, onto the table next to Clark's bed, "Bye." He gently slapped Clark on the shoulder, in a fraternal gesture before leaving.  
Lana didn't know weather to be thankful or fearful that Lex left. She could have time alone with Clark, but that was what she was afraid of; she wouldn't have his small talk or jokes to fill the silences to rely and fall back on.  
She scooted close to his bed, gripping his hand in hers, "How was the night? Did you get any sleep?"  
"Yeah, I was fine." Clark saw the worried look in her eyes, that she was trying to suppress, and it made him feel guilty, causing her all that pain, "I don't even remember the surgery or the first night at all, but I hear I was pretty messed up, saying a lot of crazy stuff." Clark tried to lighten the atmosphere.  
Lana was glad he didn't remember, because he would have been embarrassed knowing he had broken down in front of her, "Yeah." Her throat went tight, trying to suppress tears. Why was she crying? He was okay... maybe that was why. He was mentally strong now... and she could be weak... she didn't have to be brave enough for the both of them.  
Lana desperately tried to prevent the tears that were about to fall, but she couldn't. She didn't want to cry in front of Clark, but she couldn't defend against them, as her tears fell.  
"Lana." Clark said softly, squeezing her hand, "Don't cry."  
She looked at his pained expression, "I'm sorry Clark... I just... seeing you there and..." She felt so stupid. He was the one who was shot, yet she was acting like the invalid.  
"Lana..." Clark pulled her close to, forcing her to sit on the side of the bed, as he embraced her, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."  
Lana nodded her head, as her head rested against his chest. Clark wasn't convinced, "Lana, you have the hard part. I just get to sit back in bed and relax."  
Lana let out a half sob, half laugh, "Sure, Clark."  
"I'm serious, don't worry about me. It's harder for you than me." Clark repeated.  
Lana knew Clark was just being strong for her, but it helped, because a small parted of her believed him. Lana had been careful during their embrace not to apply pressure to the right side of his chest.  
Clark tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, and kissed her gently on the lips.  
Lana kissed him back, and after a few moments Clark deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth, as she wrapped a hand around his neck.  
Lana felt so much more nervous kissing him now, because she had to think about where she was pushing, or pressing her body weight, because she didn't want to hurt him.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"I'm picking up some food on the way over, do you want anything?" Lana asked Lex over the phone.  
"Nope, I already ate." Lex said, "But thanks."  
"Does Clark want anything? He doesn't seem to eat any of the hospital food." Lana observed.  
"Um, I'll ask him, hold on..." Lex said.  
Lana could hear Clark cursing loudly in the background, "Lex, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing, the nurse is just changing his bandaging. I'll ask him in a second." Lex implied to her, to hold on.  
Lana could still hear Clark using some choice words, obviously it was a painful procedure.  
"Um, Lana... just get him whatever you're having." Lex said, obviously it wasn't a good time to ask.  
"Okay." Lana said.  
"Oh, and by the time you get here, they will have moved him." Lex told her.  
"Moved him?" Lana inquired.  
"He is doing well enough that they are moving him out of the ICU, into a regular room. I'm not sure which one, you'll have to ask the nurse." Lex hung up.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Lana found Clark's room and stepped inside.  
"Hey, Lana." Clark grinned.  
Lana walked past Clark's sleeping roommate, to the farthest end of the small room, where Clark's bed was, "They moved you, that's good."  
"Yeah, I got a real room now. Jealous?" Clark teased.  
Lana laughed, "I brought you something to eat." She pulled out a sub sandwich, "You aren't supposed to have anything greasy."  
"Thanks." He smiled, "I don't trust the food here."  
"What do you mean?" She asked, sensing it was more than just distaste.  
"You never know if there is any special ingredients in it, my dad's treat." Clark remembered how Lionel had drugged Lex before he could uncover his murder.  
"You don't think he would poison you, do you? I mean he is in jail, Lex saw him." Lana thought back, and realized how much of a miracle it was that Lex had actually found Lionel. Lex said that Lionel should have fled the country, but he guessed that he was still a bit rattled. Lex still couldn't believe Lionel would stay.  
"I don't know, but I know he is capable of it, he has contacts, in jail or not." Clark told her. Lana felt for him, having to worry and watch his back on top of all the rest of his injuries.  
But Clark wasn't taking any chances.  
Lana had never discussed what happened with Clark, "I still can't believe he would shoot you." Lionel was evil, but Clark was his favorite son.  
Clark smiled, "I knew he would."  
Lana couldn't grasp how Clark could smile at the subject, "You're happy he shot you?"  
"Well... yeah. He'll go to jail." Clark felt at ease, despite the circumstances. He beat Lionel.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark slid slowly into the car, "I wish I could drive." He complained to Lana.  
Lana laughed, "Are you happy to be going home, and finally get out of the hospital?" She started the car, and backed out.  
"Yes." Clark laughed, leaning back in the seat.  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
**  
Again, that was for my brother. The inspiration and person who gave me the knowledge for that piece.**  
  
Okay, please R&R! Thanks! 


	39. Choosing Sides

  
  
Clark popped a few pain killers as he slowly emerged from his bed. He felt both pleased and nervous. He had to testify at Lionel's trail today. Lex had made sure that everything was moved along very quickly; it was miraculous. Usually trails were dragged out for months and months, but Lex had managed it all in the span of only a few weeks. Clark couldn't thank Lex enough. He wanted Lionel behind bars as quickly as possible.  
Clark had gone to the arraignment days ago, where Lionel was told of the charges against him- attempted murder, and First degree Assault with a deadly weapon with intent to cause serious physical injury. Of course, Lionel pleaded not guilty.  
Clark's lawyers had easily obtain the indictment, which, as they explained it to Clark, was a formal charge issued by a grand jury stating that there is enough evidence that the defendant committed the crime, to justify having a trial. Even though it is used primarily for felonies (and this was a capital offense) it applied to their case because Lionel could be acquitted of attempted murder, the capital offense, which would leave first degree assault- a felony.  
Clark and Lex weren't very happy at all with how things were going. Lionel had been granted bail, seeing as they could not prove he was harmful to anyone, except Clark. So Clark was giving a temporary restraining order, which prohibited Lionel from an action that is likely to cause irreparable harm. It is intended to last only until a hearing can be held.  
Then Clark had been informed yesterday of an impeachment, which called into question Lionel's past record of crime, and the judge had favored with Lionel, saying that the plaintiff (Clark's party) was prohibited from referencing to his past convictions at all. The reasons were, that the plaintiff was going create a bad image of Lionel, which would affect the jury's decision. So Clark couldn't use Lionel's past strikes to prove he was capable of this, because Clark and Lex both saw the insanity plea was about to come into play.  
Clark let out a sigh, this should have been an easy win, but Lionel's lawyers were very powerful, and no doubt had a few judges in their pockets. But still, Clark had enough evidence to convict Lionel, no matter how many strings they pulled; which made Clark nervous when Lionel didn't plead guilty, which would provide a lesser sentence.  
When Clark asked his lawyer, what the chances were that Lionel could use the insanity plea and win were, he had said that if Lionel planned to contend he suffered a fit of insanity, then his best chance was to convince the prosecutor of his mad state of mind before his case goes to trial, which he said he had done sufficiently.  
"Clark, did you just get up?" Lana walked into his bedroom, seeing Clark was still in his boxers. Even though his wounds were bandaged, it still hurt her to see them.  
"Yeah, what time is it?" Clark was worried, was he late?  
"It's not even 7 yet." Lana told him, knowing he thought he had missed the 8am trail, "I just assumed since Lex was up at 5, you would be too."  
"No, Lex is taking care of everything." Clark was so grateful, and so was Lana. She didn't want extra stress on Clark, who wasn't even half recovered yet. Plus she knew how much this was thrashing on his emotions.  
Lana watched as Clark pressed a hand to his head, a movement he wouldn't have done unless he was in pain, "Are you feeling okay?"  
"I'm fine." Clark ignored the headache and throbbing in his rib cage, along with his stomach.  
Lana saw his lie, but understood it. He didn't want anyone making him delay the trail, or keep him at home, so she pretended to believe the lie, "Do you want me to do anything?" Lana was here today strictly for moral support. Clark had practically exploded when she mentioned wanting to testify too. He was very adamant that she would have nothing to do with the trail. He didn't want her getting tangled up in this.  
"Um..." Clark tried to think threw his headache, "I don't think so."  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
  
Clark was very thankful that his headache had disappeared earlier in the day. Clark tried to control his body from tensing up, as he entered the courtroom, but failed. As much as he tried to deny it, it scared him. He had no idea what was to come, and he knew how smart Lionel and their lawyers were.  
  
_Power is another word I use to describe you  
Your mighty wind comes and blows me away  
Crying, coming out lying.  
I could feel your grip  
I shake whenever you speak my name_  
  
But his main cause of fret, was the fact that he had not had to face Lionel since the incident, and just the thought made him want to sprint from the courtroom. He didn't know why he felt so intimidated, he had the upper hand, but he was. Clark had seen too many times how innocent people could be condemned and guilty people could be released.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

Lana sat behind Clark, close to the front of the room, as the trail continued. Everything was very confusing, since she was very blind in matters of law. But she basically understood everything that had happened so far.  
Lionel's lawyers were saying that Lionel had a temporary fit of insanity, caused by childhood trauma, anger, among other things.  
Lana hated watching this. She saw the way Clark looked once he saw Lionel. He was scared and worried and Lionel had a look of vindictiveness that made it extremely hard to not feel intimidated. But what amazed her most was how Lionel changed so quickly, to an expression and mannerisms that showed deep sorrow, and the way his lawyers worded things, twisting them to make Clark look like a monster. They were so convincing and it frightened Lana.  
  
_And I'm surrounded  
You over power me  
You're a silent rage  
You're a hurricane_  
  
Lana wished she could be next to Clark, but it wasn't an option.  
Clark felt such nervousness and overall worry, as he was called up as a witness, that he felt physically sick.  
  
_You are everything I can not see and can't explain  
You're an enigma, wrapped in a mystery  
Everywhere I go, I can't escape your energy   
Can't escape your energy_  
  
He had sworn to tell the truth, but that wasn't going to happen, it just wasn't an option. There were too many things about his unique DNA that he had to lie to protect his true identity. He was going to try and tell the truth most of the time, to prevent tripping up and hanging himself.  
"Clark, tell us what happened on April 11th." His lawyer asked him.  
"Well, I came in to my father's office late at night, and we started arguing." Clark said it confidently, although that was the last thing he felt.  
"What were you arguing about?" His lawyer asked.  
"It was about family. How he didn't treat me or my brother right." He wasn't quite sure how to sum it up.  
"Okay, go on. What happened next?" His lawyer urged.  
"Well, it was getting pretty heated and I screamed at him, saying I hated him..." Clark knew he had to put the truth there, because they needed to see that Lionel did it out of anger, not insanity, "And he shot me twice. I don't really remember much after that, only that my brother, Lex was standing over me."  
"I have no further questions." His lawyer planned to ask him more later.  
So the cross examination began, and Lionel's lawyers questions him.  
"Clark, where did this gun come from?" He asked.  
Clark couldn't lie, he knew his finger prints where on the gun, "From my room."  
"But you said that the defendant shot you in his office. So how did he get the gun?" Lionel's lawyers asked, knowingly.  
"He took it from me." Clark said more softly.  
"So you are saying, that you are the one who brought the gun into the room. Why did you do that? Did you want to harm your father?" He asked.  
"No. I was scared and I didn't want to confront him without a way of protecting myself." Clark thought he answered the question well.  
"Why would you be scared of your own father?" He said it with satisfaction.  
Clark paused a moment before answering, and when he did his voice was shaky with real emotion, "I was scared because the last time we had got in a fight he had... he hurt me; threw me against a bookshelf and into a glass table. I thought he was going to kill me, and the only reason he didn't have the chance was because my brother came in, and stopped him."  
Lionel's lawyer's eyes showed that he wasn't expecting that, but he quickly moved on, again trying to blame it on Clark, "It doesn't make sense Clark. If you felt you were in enough danger that you needed a gun, why confront him at all?"  
Clark wasn't sure how to answer, "I wanted him to stop treating me like he was."  
"Clark, you say Lionel treated you and your brother so horribly, but had he ever hurt you before this incident you spoke of earlier?" He challenged.  
"Not physically." Clark said truthfully.  
"Hasn't he always provided you with everything you needed? Spent time with you?" He asked, trying to corner Clark, and it would work.  
"Yes." Clark whispered.  
"That is all my questions, for now." He retuned to his side of the courtroom, as Clark was permitted to step down, and go back to his normal seat. Lana mouthed 'I love you' as Clark sat back down.  
  
_Did find, that is was always you  
With beautiful time  
I see you win everything  
You're fire when it rains_  
  
"I'd like to call Lionel Luther to the stand." Lionel's lawyer said.  
Once in the appropriate chair, the questions began, "Lionel, Clark has tried to portray you as a horrible father. Would you say you have a good relationship with your son?"  
"I had an excellent relationship with Clark, up until a few months ago." Lionel asked truthfully.  
"So what changed?" The lawyer asked.  
"Clark was in a car accident, which left him in a coma for two weeks. When he woke up, he had changed. He was uncontrollable and he had horrible fits of rage he would go into. He started acting completely out of character, and didn't trust anyone." Lionel spoke it convincingly.  
"Clark claims you attacked him, prior to April 11th. Is that true?" The lawyer asked.  
"No, I would never attack him. The incident Clark is referring to, well he went into a rage and I was only defending myself." Lionel's response was weak.  
"Lionel, what happened on April 11th?" He said it with a tone of sympathy.  
"I was in my office working, and Clark came in, completely irrational... and we were arguing and... I don't know. The next thing I knew I was standing over Clark, and I had shot him." Lionel's voice cracked, as he shook with silent sobs.  
The lawyer addressed the jury, "From everything we've heard from the other witnesses, Lionel loved his children and was devoted to them. He absolutely adored them. He's sad. Now why would a sane person just shoot his son in a small family spat? He wouldn't." He returned back to Lionel, "What were you and Clark fighting about?" The question had already been asked, but the answer they wanted had not been given.  
"My son Julian's death and my wife's, are all I remember us discussing." Lionel truly looked so torn up, but Clark knew it was all an act, and it made him so angry, because it was believable.  
"What exactly was said?" Lionel's lawyer asked.  
"I remember Clark saying that Julian's death was my fault... that my wife never loved me... that my parents hated me, and I should have died with them, in the fire... I don't really remember the exact words." Lionel's eyes regained the glassy, teary look again. He made Clark sound so heartless.  
Lionel's lawyer addressed the jury again, "Reminded of his son's death, and wife's passing, told by his son that he hated him, and he should have died with his parents. These are all such traumatic events in themselves, is it any wonder why he had a psychotic break? He was so disoriented in his realities that he didn't know what he was doing. And we shouldn't be treating people who are mentally ill and committing crimes as a result of that illness, the same as a person with their full faculties." He finished up as Clark's lawyer approached the stand.  
"Mr. Luther, in the video tape we saw earlier, in which you shot Clark, you seemed very angry, were you not?" He asked.  
"I was more sad than angry." Lionel tried to avoid it, to turn their attention back to his sorrow, to get the jury's sympathy.  
"The tape showed the actions of a sane man. If indeed you were so broken up over the realization that you had shot your son, why did you run? Why didn't you help Clark, or call an ambulance?" He dared him.  
"I was in shock, and I still didn't think it was reality." Lionel answered.  
"When did you realize that you had indeed shot your son?" Clark's lawyer prodded.  
"Later that evening I returned and saw the blood on the floor... and then I knew." Lionel looked away, as if in deep pain and sorrow.  
"Then how come you didn't search for information about Clark? You weren't concerned about his welfare?" He turned the tables, making Lionel seem cold hearted.  
"I wanted to, but I wasn't sure where he was." Lionel answered pathetically.  
"Mr. Luther, there is only one medical center in Smallville. You had to know where he was, yet you never once made an attempt to visit Clark, or call about him, the 5 days he was in the hospital." He said it with conviction.  
Lionel didn't answer, and Clark's lawyer didn't want him to.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

_Capture, it's just a word to capture all I feel when still  
You win everything  
I don't want to be your slave  
And I'm surrounded and you overpower me_  
  
Other witness were brought up, all in attempt to bring up Clark's past incidents in a maneuver meant to strip the jury's sympathy towards Clark, and make it seem like Lionel had gone threw so much raising Clark, as he was once referred to as a 'problem child'. Once again, Clark was at the witness stand, being interrogated by Lionel's lawyers.  
"Clark, isn't it true that not a month ago you attacked your father? Threatening to kill him?" He asked.  
"Yes." Clark couldn't deny it. Earlier Lex had been forced to tell many bad things Clark had done in the past, that incident being one of them.  
"Why did you attack your father? Had he done something to you?" The lawyer asked another one of the unending questions.  
"I never actually hurt him." Clark defended himself.  
"Answer the question." The lawyer told him.  
"I don't know why." Clark said.  
"You mean, it wasn't because Lionel had told you, you were going to be sent to a boarding school, for your recent behavior? You probably didn't like that very much. You're sure you weren't having a tantrum because things weren't going your way?" He smiled.  
"No, that wasn't it." Clark grew increasingly nervous, and felt trapped.  
"But earlier your father and brother testified that you actually said 'I'll show you! Just try and send me to boarding school.' Are you saying that you didn't say that? Keep in mind, that you are under oath, Mr. Luther." He was a good lawyer, trapping Clark. Anything Clark said would benefit his client.  
"I said it, but I didn't know what I was doing." Clark said rather loudly.  
"You didn't know what you were doing because you were on drugs, weren't you?" He trapped him once again.  
Clark couldn't say that his father had drugged him, because he had no proof, and the explanation was more dangerous than it would help, "Yes." He murmured.  
"Clark you seem to be a troubled young man. The things we've been hearing about you, your actions seem to endanger everyone around you. Clark, don't you think it must have been hard for your father to handle your behavior and maybe he just snapped mentally?" He asked.  
"No!" Clark slammed both his palms against the wood in front of him, standing up "He shot me because he was angry with me! If I am bad son, he is twice the bad father!"  
"Mr. Luther, Please control yourself, and sit down." The judge verbally reprimanded Clark. Clark was angry with himself for his outburst, but he was so incredibly frustrated. He had been reminded and judged for every mistake he had made, when Lionel did twice as much, only they couldn't use any of it against him, as the judge had ordered before the trail.  
Clark rested his elbows on the wood surface in front of him, and ran his hands threw his hair.  
Lionel's lawyer seemed please, and faced the jury, "If the plaintiff can't even control his temper in court, you can only imagine how it is at home. Clark accuses Lionel of so many things, but it seems he is the one who keeps being at fault for the domestic violence. Ask yourselves, could you handle a teenager like this? Imagine the constant stress and worry having a teenager who is constantly getting in fights, skipping school, disappearing for days, who has, as was shown today, committed vandalism, harassment, and 3rd degree assault on his father among others. Who is addicted to drugs-"  
"Objection! That is speculation!" Clark's lawyer interjected.  
"I retract my statement." Lionel's lawyer said, and continued, "All this is cause enough for a mental breakdown, or break from reality."  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&

_I can't escape your energy  
Your energy will destroy me_  
  
The trail dragged on and on, and Lana watched as Lionel's lawyer sat down after his closing arguments and Clark's approached the jury to make his.  
"Today, we've heard of all the reason that Lionel Luther supposedly had a break with reality, and shot his son unknowingly. But those reasons don't hold water. If Lionel didn't have a mental breakdown after his son Julian's death, or his wife's, or his parents, then why should he have one at the mere mention of it? It has been brought up that stress of dealing with Clark's actions also contributed to it. A self made billion goes threw many stressful times, and earlier I listed all the trails Lionel has gone threw in his life. If after all that Lionel Luther is still sensible enough to contract million dollar deals, and run his company with such wisdom that it only continues to increase it's profits, why can't he handle a teenager's small outburst? If you all think back, I'm sure you can remember a fight you had with your parents as a teenager, and I doubt any of them reacted by shooting you. It has been insinuated that Lionel Luther's breakdown had been coming for a long time, that he had, had previous breaks in realities, just that they were too small for anyone to take notice. Well if that is so, how come Clark's simple words triggered Lionel. Surely there are worse and far more stressful things that he encounters day to day that would have triggered him, unless he was mentally stable. He is a very smart man, and he was mentally stable the night he tried to murder his son, he even had the sense to flee. Now that is only something people do when they know they are guilty. So I am asking you to find Lionel Luther guilty on the charge of attempted murder."  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&"Clark, are you okay?" Lana hugged Clark once they were out of the courtroom. The jury was deciding on a verdict and the trail was over, save the sentencing, pending on a conviction.  
"Yeah..." Clark wasn't okay. He would only be okay once he heard the jury pronounce Lionel guilty. This case should have been an easy win, but now Clark felt so worried Lionel would prevail.  
Clark hugged Lana back. He was so happy she was here, because she gave him additional strength.  
"Clark, let's go eat. Try not and worry." Lana could feel how nervous and scared he was, and he had reason to be.  
"Lana, you know that's impossible, but let's go eat anyways." Clark felt his headache return to him. If Lionel got off, he could spend less than a year in psychiatric hospital and be right back out. It was the most frightening thought he had ever known.  
  
_Power is another word I use to describe you  
I can't escape it, I can't escape. Oh no, no, no, no_  
  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&  
  
Clark found it impossible to eat, and he went back the mansion, with Lana in tow. Lana couldn't bear to leave Clark alone.  
Clark stepped out of the car, in his driveway, and immediately veered off to the side, near the bushes and vomited, over and over. He was so panicked and uneasy, and it couldn't be contained anymore. This was physically making him sick.  
Clark avoided Lana's look of sympathy as he made his way into the mansion. He immediately grabbed a glass of water to rinse out his mouth, and headed to his room.  
Lana entered his room 30 seconds after he did. He was lying on his bed, a hand over his face.  
"It's going to be okay, Clark." She tried to comfort him, and sat down on the bed, and placed a hand on his leg.  
"Lana..." Clark sat up, "Thanks for coming today."  
"Of course." Lana smiled.  
Clark kissed her on the cheek and he hugged her. Neither spoke, but they laid down in bed, and took comfort in each other's presence. Lana's head rested on Clark's chest, and he had an arm around her shoulders. Lana had her arm across his stomach, making sure she didn't press against his injured spots.  
After a while, they both fell asleep, from exhaustion and stress. They both welcomed the sleep.  
&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&Clark awoke from being nudged.  
"What?" Clark woke up suddenly, and sat up quickly, which sent a spike of pain threw his abdomen and chest, but he ignored it.  
"Clark, they have a verdict. They want us to go down to the courthouse." Lana told him.  
"Oh." Clark realized where he was, "Let's go." He needed the answer to be guilty so bad.  
Clark couldn't believe it when he saw his Clark saw 10am. Had he slept almost 36 hours? It didn't matter, what mattered was the verdict. But if it had taken the jury that long, almost 40 hours, to decide on a verdict, he knew how close it really was. He was glad that at least there wasn't a hung jury.  
He didn't even change, or take a shower, before he left the house. Those things never even crossed his mind.  
  
_Power is another word I use to describe you  
Your mighty wind come and blow me away  
Crying, coming out lying.  
I could feel your grip  
I shake whenever you speak my name  
  
And I'm surrounded  
You over power me  
You're a silent rage  
You're a hurricane_  
  
&  
&  
&TBC...  
Okay, I worked REALLY, really, really hard on that. I hope you understood it, and it wasn't confusing. I tried my best. It took me forever and I am not a lawyer, so it made it double hard. So please reply & lemme know what you thought about it. Flames are welcome, if it was incomprehensible, then tell me. If it was boring, tell me.  
  
Okay, song lyrics by _Skillet "Energy" _


	40. Actions

"Clark, maybe you should slow down." Lana said, as Clark speeded along the road at 90 MPH.  
"Oh... yeah." Clark hadn't been aware of how fast he was going. His hands were sweaty as he loosened his grip on the steering wheel. He was not even 5 minutes from the courthouse, and he was so incredibly anxious of the verdict. The court had gone to extreme lengths to ensure that the jury was not tampered with or bought. They knew the risk of that when dealing with 2 powerful, rich parties.  
Clark pulled into a parking space, close to the door to the courthouse.  
"Clark, it's going to be alright. Don't worry." She rubbed his arm, trying to calm him down.

"Clark." Lex greeted his brother as he walked into the courtroom.  
"Hey, Lex." Clark definitely couldn't hide the nervousness he felt.  
"Clark, whatever the verdict, don't worry. He will never get custody of you again." Lex tried to comfort Clark. But that wasn't good enough for Clark; he needed Lionel out of his life, he needed them to be separated by bars. He needed Lionel's power to be stripped.  
"Lex..." The Luthors were never good at talking about their feelings, or showing emotions, "thanks."  
Lex and Clark both knew the significant meaning behind that simple word. Clark was eternally grateful for everything Lex had done, and dealt with the things he could not.  
So Clark and Lex did something that they didn't do very often. They hugged.  
"You've been a great brother." Clark meant it.  
"Yeah and I love yeah." Lex mocked teased, but they both knew he meant it and that it was a mutual feeling.  
Clark tensed up as Lionel entered the room, cuffed, along with his lawyers.  
Clark started to get even more edgy when Lionel made eye contact with him, and he retained the eye contact and he started walking towards Clark.  
Lex sensed an outburst coming. Why was Lionel coming towards them? He was going to try and rattle Clark, Lex knew it.  
"Clark, just go." Lex gestured for Clark to go to the other side of the room, opposite of Lionel. But Clark didn't move, and he had a fierceness in his eyes.  
"Son." Lionel approached Clark, and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I want-"  
"Don't." Clark slapped Lionel's hand away from him, pushing Lionel away too, "Touch me again and I'll fucking kill you!" Clark shouted it, furiously.  
Everyone turned and stared at Clark and Lionel.  
"Son, I just wanted-" Lionel began again.  
"No." Lex intervened, placing himself between Clark and Lionel, "Clark." Lex gave Clark a look. Clark, knowing he couldn't control himself around Lionel, walked away, to the other side of the room.  
Lex turned back to Lionel, "Stop it. I know what you are trying to do. Just leave him alone.  
"He is my son, I have the right to-" Lionel was cut off.  
"No, you don't have the right. I don't care what your justifications are, leave Clark alone." Lex said the last 3 words sternly, "Clark's not stupid and neither am I. You aren't insane, and you shot him."  
"Lex, don't let petty grudges blind you." Lionel smirked.  
"Leave Clark alone." Lex walked away. He wasn't going to allow Lionel to involve him in another mind game. Lex sat down next to Clark and Lana.  
"I fucking hate him." Clark had both his hands in his hair, pulling.  
"I know, but don't let him get to you." Lex knew at 17 he would have done the same thing, if not worse.   
"God, when are they going to tell us!" Clark said frustrated.  
"In a few minutes." Lex said, taking notice of his brother's agitation and anger. "Clark, don't get all upset if the verdict is not guilty-"  
"I won't! I can't control myself." Clark took his frustration out on his brother. Lex understood how stressed Clark was, and didn't take offense.  
"Good, because if you do something or..." Lex was seriously worried Clark would try and fulfill his threat, and attack Lionel, "hurt anyone in court, you know you could get arrested, right?"  
"Yeah. God!" Clark was mad, and jumped from his seat, and paced to the back of the room. Lana made to follow, but Lex grabbed her arm.  
"Don't Lana. He is pissed, just let him calm down, otherwise he'll just end up yelling at you." Lex warned.  
5 minutes later the judge called everyone to hear the verdict. Despite Lex's warning, Lana found Clark, and held his hand. Clark wanted to hold her close, but it would have looked weak, and that was something he vowed Lionel would never see him as, so he just squeezed Lana's hand.  
"Do you have a verdict?" The judge asked, and one of the jurors stood up.  
"Yes we do." He said timidly.  
They passed up the documents that stated each juror has agreed to the verdict about to be read.  
"Okay. Read the verdict that you, the jurors, have come to." The judge said.  
"On the charge of Attempted Murder, we find the defendant not guilty." He said loudly.  
Clark felt like he had been shot again.  
"On the charge of Aggravated Domestic Assault in the first degree we find the defendant guilty." The juror concluded.  
Clark felt so angry; he wanted to punch Lionel so bad. Clark looked over at Lionel, and he had an expression of shock, as if he was guaranteed he wouldn't be charged guilty on anything.  
The judge interrupted Clark's angry thoughts, "I am going to sentence the defendant with the 3 years in jail, with the option of parole, pending good behavior."  
Clark really felt as if they were pushing him over the edge. 3 years was nothing, the medium sentence being 7 years. It was like a slap in the face. Clark had gone threw everything, all so Lionel would be locked up, forever.  
It was too much and Clark snapped. He stormed out of the courtroom.  
Lex took a deep breath and sighed. He could fully understand Clark's reactions, but it didn't comfort him any. He, himself, felt so angry, and he wasn't even the victim, like Clark. At least Clark hadn't done anything in court.

"Lex..." Lana had a tone of deep concern, as they exited the courthouse.  
"Damnit." Lex muttered as he saw that Clark's car was gone, and that broken glass and blood covered the sidewalk. Clark had undoubtedly punched in the passenger window on the Porsche, before driving off.  
Lana felt sick. What was Clark doing?

"How did it go?" Jonathan asked Lana as she entered the house.  
"Pretty bad." Lana was worn out.  
Jonathan gave her a look, urging her to explain.  
"Lionel got 3 years in prison, with parole." Lana sighed.  
"How is that possible?" Even Jonathan knew how little that was for the crime.  
"I don't know... Lex thinks Lionel bribed the judge." Lana sat down on the couch, thankful for the support it gave her.  
"How did Clark take it?" Jonathan had been worried about him the whole trail.  
"Um... not good." Lana said, looking at the clock, which read 5pm.  
"What did he do?" Jonathan was aware of Clark's outbursts.  
"Nothing. He just left, and we don't know where he went." Lana said. It scared her more that Clark didn't create a scene, and yell at Lionel. He had just left, slamming the door open, and left... just left, not a single word.  
"I'm sure he's fine. He probably just needs to cool off." Jonathan sat down next to her.  
"I don't know. I wouldn't be alright if I was him... especially alone." Lana said, and Jonathan completely agreed. He'd of snapped long before.  
"Don't worry Lana." Jonathan tried to comfort his daughter.  
"Ya..." Lana said, as her eyes began to swell with unshed tears.

TBC...


	41. Dealing

Lana decided she wanted to go back to the mansion. It was almost 2am, and she figured that Clark had probably come back... at least she hoped he had. Surprisingly, Jonathan let her.

_I push my fingers into my eyes, Its the only thing, That slowly stops the ache, But its made of all, The things I have to take,  
Jesus it never ends, It pushed it's way inside, If the pain goes on... _

Lex heard shuffling downstairs in the mansion. Lex sighed in relief, assuming it was Clark. He made his way downstairs to find Clark standing in the middle of the room. Before Lex could say anything, he heard the door open behind him and Lana walked in.  
"Oh thank God he's back." Lana said as she saw Clark"Where was he"  
"I don't know. I just found him." Lex stated.  
Clark turned around, when he heard their voices. He stumbled as he turned around.  
Lex saw the gun in Clark's hand before Lana"Clark what are you doing"

_I have screamed until my veins collapsed, I've waited as my times elapsed, Now all I do is live with so much fate , I wished for this, I bitched at that, I've left behind this little fact, You cannot kill what you did not create, I've gotta say what I've gotta say and then I swear I'll go away, But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise, I guess I'll save the best for last, My future seems like one big past, You laughed at me cuz you left me no choice_

"I should have just shot him, Lex." Clark pressed the palm of his hand to his temples, gun still in hand"But I was weak and couldn't do it..."  
As Lex approached Clark he realized Clark was drunk, from the way he was standing, the slur in his speech, and he reeked of alcohol"Give me the gun." Lex grabbed Clark's wrist, squeezing hard, forcing Clark to drop the gun, and it fell to the floor.  
"Now he'll be out when I'm 19... I didn't have the balls to just shoot him, it's my fault." Clark said feeling majorly depressed. The high that the alcohol had provided had worn off hours ago.

_I push my fingers into my eyes, Its the only thing, That slowly stops the ache, If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it,_

Pull me back together, Or separate the skin from bone, Leave me all the pieces, Then you can leave me alone, Tell me the reality is better than the dream, But I've found out the hard way, Nothing is what it seems 

"Clark, stop it. You know it's not your fault. Just let it go, you can't do anything about it." Lex couldn't afford to let Clark sulk for even a day, it led to worse things. Clark had reacted by getting drunk, which was not only very dangerous with his state of mind, but it was harmful to his body which was trying to recover.  
Clark didn't reply for a few moments"Lex, help me do it."  
"Do what" Lex could barely understand what Clark saying.  
"Help me finish what I started... finish him... 'cause I can't do it." Clark's eyes were glassy and he was sweaty.  
"No, Clark. He's in jail, just forget it." Lex said.  
Clark found absolutely no comfort in the fact that Lionel was behind bars, perhaps it was because of his inebriated state. Clark wanted to let it go, he really did, but when all other thoughts in his mind were jumbled, that was clear.  
"But..." Clark never finished, instead he leaned over and came dangerously close to vomiting on Lex.  
"Come on, Clark. You're drunk; you don't know what you're saying." Lex propped Clark up, by his arm, and began to lead him up to his room.

_I push my fingers into my eyes, It's the only thing, That slowly stops the ache, But it's made of all, The things I have to take, Jesus it never ends, It pushed it's way inside, If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it,_

All I've got, All I've got Is Insane, All I've got, All I've got Is Insane, All I've got, All I've got Is Insane, All I've got, All I've got Is Insane!

Clark began to stumble once he reached the top of the stairs, falling into the wall.  
"Clark..." Lex tried to get him up, but he was out cold. Lex was glad that Clark's room was close, because Clark was heavy, and he had to carry his unconscious brother.  
"Is he okay" Lana asked, having followed them.  
"Ya, he'll be fine, he's just really drunk." Lex laughed, more in relief that Clark hadn't done something worse, than from humor.  
Lana started pulling off Clark's shoes, and Lex left, where, Lana didn't know.   
She undressed Clark, leaving him in his boxers. Clark woke up, but only to throw up all over his floor, and groan, before passing out again.

_I push my fingers into my eyes, It's the only thing, That slowly stops the ache, But it's made of all, The things I have to take, Jesus it never ends, It pushed it's way inside, If the pain goes on, I'M NOT GONA MAKE IT _

Clark swallowed a mixture of painkillers and Tylenol. He felt like he was going to detonate, as searing pain ripped threw not only his head, but his whole body. Clark rolled over in his bed and fell asleep again.

No one really spoke about Clark's drunken incident, and he was grateful. He regretted getting smashed, not only for the horrible hangover he had to endure, but he knew he was lucky that he didn't get out of control.  
The next few days, Clark reflected a lot, and managed to find a peace within himself about his attitude towards the whole trail and verdict. True, he would always be angry and hate the outcome, but he found a way to accept it. He had 3 years to think of something, and he wouldn't give up. It wasn't as if he had lost- no, it was just one more big step towards victory. But until then, Clark wanted to enjoy life in a way he never could before. He wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, and his brother.  
Clark felt really good; he didn't have anything to worry about at the present moment. He honestly couldn't think of a single thing that could bring worry or panic to his mind.  
Lex had told him yesterday that the courts refused to legally emancipate Clark due to everything that had been revealed about his past. They didn't think he was fit to live on his own. So Lex had already taken care of all the paper work, and it was official. Lex was Clark's legal guardian.  
Clark also didn't regret anything either; if he had shot Lionel he would have a guilty conscious that would have weighed him down.  
Clark smiled as he imagined Lionel in an orange jumpsuit, behind bars. He remembered the look of shock Lionel shone with after the verdict was read. He was no doubt furious. Clark grinned again.

Clark wrapped his arms around Lana as he kissed her neck.  
"Clark, this is so beautiful." Lana was truly touched that Clark had done this for her. He said it was the least he could do, after she stood by him through everything, but it was truly incredible. He had gotten her favorite singer to perform for her privately, and after he had treated her to a candle lit dinner, on a veranda that over looked the most beautiful scenery, and now here she was, in Clark's arms, sitting on a white sofa. He had done everything he thought was romantic, and even though all his gestures had added to the magic of the night, Clark was the reason this was the best night of her life.  
He had shone her all the love she craved and needed and it wasn't enforced by some tragic event that made you instinctively show your lover how much you cared about them. It was natural love and affection they shared. It was a feeling that was unsurpassed and incomparable to anything else.  
"I love you." Clark whispered into her ear, breaking their kiss.  
"I love you." Lana whispered back, before Clark kissed her again.  
Clark hadn't thought about sex very often in the past month, but as he touched and kissed Lana, and the fact that he had healed enough that is was a possibility again, proved to lead his thoughts there again, and he felt blood rush southward.  
Clark began to heat their kiss up, as Lana caressed his back, obviously just as willing as he was. He stroked her hair with one hand, while the other was busy as her hips.  
So they made love, and it was the breathtaking, perfect end to the night.

Lana felt like she was on top of the world, as she stepped back inside her house, returning from an incredibly romantic and fantastic night with Clark. She didn't have to worry about him; he was optimistic and affectionate again, no longer carrying around his demons.  
Things were completely and utterly perfect, so of course it had to end. Since Lana didn't have to worry about Clark anymore, she had to time to think about everyday things again. Lana walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. That's when she realized it... she had been so busy and life had been so chaotic that she hadn't even noticed before, and she felt like the stupidest and most frightened person on the planet.

TBC...

song lyrics by **Slipknot "Duality" **  
thanks for all your replies on my last update, hopefully u can do it again! thx


	42. Recovering

Lana was seriously freaking out. She frantically tried to remember the last time she got her period, and it was harder than it sounds. Stuff like that hadn't even crossed her mind; there was just so many other more important things that she had been thinking about: first Clark had been fighting with Lionel, then Clark's body started failing him because of Lionel, which lead to Clark being shot and almost dying, then it was the trail and the verdict and Clark getting all upset and...  
She was pregnant... because no matter how much she racked her brain, the last time she remembered getting her period was over 2 months ago.  
Maybe because I was just under a lot of stress, that it messed my body up, and that is why I missed it, Lana thought, desperately hoping she was right. She couldn't have a baby... yesterday had been the last day of her Junior year. She was only 17... how could she have a baby? No, she wasn't pregnant, she couldn't be. Besides Clark had always used protection... except for the first time.  
No... this was bad... really bad... but the first time they had slept together was almost 3 months ago... if she was pregnant... how could she not have known for so long? Lana felt so nervous and sick, she threw up.  
But that scared her even more, was she throwing up from nervousness or morning sickness? Lana felt like she couldn't breathe.  
If her parents found out they would be so upset. She was painfully aware of how they looked at sex out of wedlock as sinful.  
No... this was horrible... it shouldn't be happening. How would Clark react? Lana had never ever heard him say he wanted kids. For all she knew he didn't even like kids. He was going to be just as upset as her parents, she knew it. Of course he didn't want a baby.

"Are you okay" Clark asked Lana, while they were in the middle of their date. He didn't understand her; she was so quiet and nervous. It was the complete opposite from the other night, it was so natural then. What changed? She wasn't even answering him now, had she even heard him"Lana"  
"Yeah" Lana looked up at him, and saw that by his face he had asked something"Oh, um... sorry, what did you say"  
"I asked if you are okay." Lana had confirmed Clark's sense that there was something bothering her by her mannerisms.  
"Um... yeah." Lana was scared to tell him, yet she needed to so bad. After she had taken the pregnancy test yesterday and it came up positive, she felt like her world was crashing. She needed Clark to be there for her, and she planned on telling him tonight, but he had planned everything and... she felt guilty. She definitely wasn't going to tell him in a restaurant.   
"Lana, what's bugging you" Clark took her hand"I can't tell something is really bothering you."  
Lana started to cry... this was too much for her.  
"Lana, it's okay." Clark wasn't sure what he was saying was okay"We can leave if you want to."  
Lana just nodded, knowing if she spoke, she'd break down more.  
Clark paid the check, and lead Lana to the car; he had his arms around her shoulder, holding her close to him"Baby, what's wrong"  
Lana couldn't answer him"Can we just go home" She said as more tears slid down her cheeks.  
"Sure." Clark was baffled by how upset Lana was.

Clark sat down on a couch in the mansion, next to Lana. He was nervous; Lana had said she wanted to talk to him about something, and he assumed that was the reason she was so upset. What was it?  
"Lana, calm down, baby." Clark rubbed her arm"It's okay, I'm here for you."  
Lana was still crying, and winced when he called her baby..., but she composed herself enough to talk"Clark...ever since everything has been happening... I've been so distracted and worried for you and..."  
Clark felt guilty, she was upset because of him"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure for what yet, but he was sorry that he had made the girl he loved cry.  
"No... it's not you... I'm... I'm pregnant, Clark." Lana had to just say it. She was so scared of how Clark would react.  
"What" Clark was shocked"No, you can't... we haven't even... in a month." Clark didn't see how it was possible"and we always used protection."  
"Not the first time." She looked at him with scared eyes.  
"But that was..." Clark was doing the math in his head.  
"Almost 3 months ago..." Lana cried.  
"Wait... you're 3 months pregnant" Clark was stunned, he never even thought of that.  
Lana nodded as she began to cry again.  
Clark was extremely upset by the news that had just been dropped on him. He never even thought it was possible for him to get a human pregnant.   
Clark had made a promise to himself a long time ago. He vowed never to have kids; he realized that it would ruin their lives. He saw what money and power did to kids, and he wasn't going to put any child threw what he had to grow up with.  
"What do you want to do" Clark asked Lana, wanting her opinion before he said anything.  
"What do you mean" Lana cried.  
"Do you want to keep it" Clark clarified.  
Lana never even considered having an abortion. Even if she didn't think it was wrong, she didn't want to kill her baby"Yes." Lana felt even more distressed by Clark's question, because it showed he didn't want it, even if he tried to hide it.  
Clark sighed internally. She wanted it, he should have known. He would do whatever she wanted, because he loved her, and he would support her"Okay." But he felt so wrong in agreeing with her. He didn't want a baby; it was going to be raised in such pain, and have to go threw so much, or his baby would turn out like Clark almost had... how Lionel had.   
"Clark... this is bad..." Lana felt a tinge of comfort knowing she wasn't alone in this anymore.  
"No, don't worry Lana. It will work out, it will be fine." He hugged her, not even believing his own words. Clark still secretly hoped within himself that Lana would change her mind, if not to terminate the pregnancy, then to give the baby up for adoption. Clark felt guilty, because he was the one worried, when Lana must be a thousand times more scared, but he couldn't help it. Keeping this baby was just so wrong and cruel.

2 weeks later

"Clark, you don't understand. My parents are going to be so upset, I can't tell them." Lana felt sick at just the thought of it.  
"Then I will tell them." Clark stepped up, knowing how scared Lana was.  
"No... it has to be me." Lana fought the urge to take the easy way out, and have Clark tell them.  
"No, I'm going with you." Clark insisted, and Lana was so thankful.  
"I don't want to tell them, Clark..." Lana just couldn't do it, and the longer she waited the more upset they would be, and the worse her anxiety became.  
"Lana, you have to. You are almost 4 months pregnant." Clark reasoned with her.  
"I know but..." Lana desperately needed a reason to delay it longer.  
"It won't be that bad." Clark tried to be optimistic.  
Lana sighed. Clark didn't understand; how could he? His father had absolutely no morals, and had instilled that concept into Clark. If he wasn't in jail, Lionel wouldn't have been upset at all that Clark had been sexually active, he'd only be mad that it might be a public scandal that would hurt his business. Clark just didn't understand how her parents would react. Her dad would be furious and her mom would be so disappointed. This would really hurt them.  
But he was right, she had to tell them. If someone found out before them and they didn't hear it from her, they would be even more offended. Clark had promised not to tell anyone, not even Lex until she had told her parents, but still...  
"Will you come with me tonight" Lana felt immense fear at just saying it.  
"Of course." Clark kissed her.

TBC...


	43. Confessions

Lana felt like she was going to throw up as she saw Clark pull up in her driveway. This meant she was going to have to tell them, he would make her, he wouldn't let her use an excuse to get out of it... Lana really, really felt like she was going to vomit, as she heard Clark knock on the door.

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight _

Lana opened the door, already on the verge of tears. She couldn't do this. Clark immediately embraced her and she felt better knowing that the arms that always broke her fall, were wrapped around her. Maybe she couldn't do this, but Clark could. He'd help her do it, and he'd make it okay; he'd break her fall once again.

_Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear _

Clark and Lana came down her stairs, after they had sufficiently discussed the course that they were going to tell Lana's parents that, she was indeed, going to have a baby... Clark's baby.  
With Clark's arms wrapped around her, Lana felt slightly more strengthened, more confident. When they both entered the kitchen, Lana saw her father and mother talking and Jonathan gave off a little chuckle at whatever Martha had said.

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so... _

No, she couldn't do this... they were too happy... she was going to hurt them beyond repair. They would hate her; she'd let them down. She instinctively turned around, trying to escape, but she felt Clark's strong arms push her forward. He wasn't going to let her back out... but there was no way she could do this.  
"You're okay." Clark whispered into her ear. Lana didn't believe him though, and she was on the verge of tears again.  
"Hey Clark." Jonathan and Martha greeted him with smiles.  
"Lana" Jonathan said, seeing that Lana was obviously upset, as she clung to Clark, for safety and strength.  
Clark knew now that the way Lana and him had discussed this conversation was now completely useless. Lana had wanted to be the one to actually say the words, but as he looked at her, he saw she could barely keep from fleeing.  
"There is something we have to tell you." Clark positioned him and Lana on the opposite side of the kitchen counter, putting it between him and the Kents.  
Jonathan and Martha were expecting bad news about Clark, with everything that was happening with him lately, they felt for him, it was like he couldn't get a break.  
"Sure. What is it" Jonathan said in a sympathetic tone.  
Clark looked at Lana again, wanting to be sure she didn't want to tell them. He saw that even if she wanted to, she couldn't have, so he continued"Well me and Lana"  
Clark was cut off by Lana"I can't do it, I'm sorry." She looked up at him, before running out of the room.

_We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
THe past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
The lonely light of morning  
The wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I have held so dear. _

"What was that" Martha asked, concerned for her daughter.  
"She's scared." Clark said honestly.  
"Why" Jonathan didn't like where this was all going.  
"She is afraid that once you find out what I have to tell you that, you are going to hate her." Clark needed to set this up right.  
"We could never hate her." Jonathan stated the obvious.  
"I know... but she doesn't. She scared that you will be so angry and disappointed in her." Clark was beating around the bush.  
"Clark, what's this about" Jonathan asked bluntly.  
"Okay, but please don't be angry with Lana, she is already going through so much as it is..." Clark took a deep breathe, he had to handle this right, for Lana's sake"Lana is pregnant."  
"What" Jonathan said, anger and shock flashing in his eyes. Martha's reaction was quite the opposite, she looked as if she had seen Lana dying before her, as grief covered her face.  
"We found out about a week ago." Clark said a white lie.  
"You got my daughter pregnant" Jonathan shouted, feeling so many different emotions. His first was complete anger towards Clark. It felt like he was betrayed by him; these past few months he really made a connection with Clark, and saw the good in him. But now... now he was just what the Luthor name indicated. Trouble. He had gotten his little girl pregnant, he was just the horny bastard he had always thought.  
His second thought was to place some of the blame and anger on Lana. How could she have done that? He had never raised her like that.  
The fear he felt fueled his anger, and since Clark was there, he was going to take the front for it. He was scared for his daughter; this would ruin her life.

_I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so... _

Lana sat on her bed in her room, her knees were pulled up against her chest, as she shook, with fear, and guilt.  
She could hear her father yelling... she could even hear some of the words, and they scared her. Just the bits and pieces she heard were evidence of how horribly angry he was.  
Pretty soon she heard Clark yelling too, but his words scared her more, because they were in her defense. What was her father saying about her?  
Guilt swept over her. She left Clark to do it, to take all the rage? but she just couldn't do it. As Lana heard the yelling get louder, she finally moved off her bed, and locked the door.  
She couldn't face her father if he did decide to confront her about her actions, and if Clark decided to come up, she couldn't deal with that either. She had just left him...

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed _

"I don't care! She is your daughter" Clark shouted"And if you yell at her, you are going to scare her more"  
"Don't tell me how to raise my daughter" Jonathan yelled back.  
"She is already scared to death! You saw her! You yelling at her is going to crack her! She is pregnant! Can you even imagine how scary that is" Clark yelled, angry, but he needed Jonathan to calm down, and if he couldn't do that, Clark couldn't leave Lana with him.   
"That is both your faults" Jonathan hollered, knowing that they weren't victims.  
"And she is paying for it! But she needs you to accept this, to help her through it" Clark reasoned, raising his voice even more"Be her father now, when she needs it most"  
Jonathan hated Clark at that moment, and seeing the sanity in what he was saying, averted all his anger from his daughter to Clark.

Lana felt like her heart stopped, as she heard footsteps approaching her door, and it was obviously Clark and Jonathan, because she could hear them still yelling, and it was clear and distinct this time.  
"Stop it" She heard Clark say outside her door.  
"Get out of my way" Jonathan said, and Lana heard a thump on the door. Her heart raced with anxiety.  
"I'm not letting you freak out on her." Clark stood firm.  
"Lana, come out" Jonathan yelled.  
Lana felt dangerously close to fainting as she saw the door knob shake back and forth, as her father tried to open the locked door.  
"She's not coming out, and you're not going in! Not unless you calm down first" Clark knew he had to stop shouting, if Jonathan was going to listen"Please, just calm down, and wait."  
Lana couldn't take it, and she got underneath her covers on the bed, and pulled a pillow over her head, and applied pressure so she couldn't hear anything they were saying. She leaned back in bed; pillow still tight around her head, and her body shuddered with her un-even breath as she cried uncontrollably.

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so... _

"Lana."   
Lana woke up from her name being called, and she opened her eyes to see Clark sitting on her bed, and his hand was on her cheek, gently nudging her.  
"Clark..." all Lana's memories of the previous night flooded back"Are you mad" Of course he was mad, Lana thought, I left him all alone to deal with my parents.  
"Of course not." Clark gave her a humorless smile as he hugged her"I completely understand."  
Lana looked at the clock, which read 8am. She must have fallen asleep last night"Clark... my dad." Lana's eyes struck panic, at the thought of him confronting her, and being as angry with her as he had been with Clark.  
"Don't worry, he isn't here." Clark brushed a strand of hair behind her ear"Your mom convinced him to get out of the house, so he could calm down."  
Lana felt temporary relief wash over her.  
"But right now, you are going to talk to your mom." Clark caressed her arm, in a soothing manner, which helped"And it's going to be okay."  
"No, Clark I can't do this." Lana hated herself for being so weak.  
"Yes you can..." Clark did wonders to ease her nervousness"It's going to be fine."  
Lana took a deep breath.

**2 days later**

"I'm going to tell Lex today." Clark told Lana, as he kissed her cheek.  
"Do you want me to come" Lana asked it, not because she thought he needed it, but because he had done it for her.  
"No, I'll be fine." Clark chuckled.  
Even though Lana's parents were still disappointed in her and hadn't gotten over the initial shock and anger, she felt like things were tolerable, because she saw that no matter how upset her parents were, they had made it very clear that they were going to be there for her. Pretty soon they would completely forgive her, and hopefully Clark.  
But Lana knew that even if Jonathan never trusted Clark again, that for now both Clark and Jonathan would tolerate each other, for her sake.  
Even though she was terrified of what was next, she felt that if had gotten threw this, she could handle anything.

"Okay, Clark, what did you want to say" Lex smirked, as he sat down next to Clark.  
"Oh, trust me you aren't going to be laughing." Clark teased, to lighten the mood.  
"Oh, it's one of those conversations." Lex teased back and rolled his eyes.  
But it did nothing to lighten the mood, as the air between them showed the seriousness.  
"I got Lana pregnant." Clark took responsibility"and she wants to keep it."  
"and you don't" Lex picked up on Clark's tone.  
"No, but it doesn't matter." Clark didn't want to discuss this part"This is what she wants, and she is getting it."  
"Alright, but Clark... I don't think you know what you are getting yourself into. I think you should talk to Lana again about"  
"No. You aren't to say anything to her about me not wanting this baby. Seriously, Lex. She has to think I want it." Clark urged Lex to swear.  
"I promise." Lex sighed. He was Clark's legal guardian now, but that didn't change the fact that he was still his brother, not his father"I'll be here for you, if you guys need help."

TBC...


	44. 9 Months

**2 months later**

"Everything looks healthy, Lana." The doctor told her, as he pointed to the sonogram.  
Clark and Lana both trusted this doctor to do all of Lana's check ups during her pregnancy because he was the same doctor who had dealt with Clark during after his gun shot wounds, and he already knew Clark's secrets.  
Lana smiled as she watched the screen and saw the movements of the baby growing inside of her. Lana was 6 months pregnant, but is went by so quickly.  
"So, do you want to know the sex of the baby" The doctor directed the question to both Clark and Lana.  
"No." Clark said sullenly. Lana felt a tinge of hurt at his answer. He had been absolutely great throughout everything, she couldn't ask him to do more for her. But it wasn't her who she was worried about. Clark showed absolutely no enthusiasm about this baby. And she knew that his 'no' wasn't because he wanted to be surprised; it was because he didn't care. Clark was doing everything possible to not get attached to this baby.  
"Yes, I want to know." Lana said, finding herself in a cross mood all of the sudden.  
"Well" The doctor said, obviously not sure what to say, since they both had picked different answers.  
Clark sighed"I'll leave and you can tell her."  
Lana was lying down on her back, on the hospital bed, and she grabbed Clark's arm before he could leave"I want you to know, Clark." She wanted him to get emotionally involved and bond with this baby, even if it wasn't born yet.  
"Lana, I" Clark was cut off.  
"Please." She convinced him with her eyes.  
"Okay." Was his response. Lana saw him put on his mask again, as he held her hand, pretending he actually wanted to know"Are we having a boy or a girl"  
"It's a boy." The doctor informed them.  
A smile immediately covered Lana's face. She didn't care what the sex was, but knowing just made her more excited.  
Her smile quickly faded as she got a glimpse of Clark's jaded expression that he was trying to hide.  
A boy, that was even worse to Clark. At least if it was a girl he knew that his child couldn't follow directly in his steps. With a girl, Lana would be more of an influence, but with a boy, he would take after Clark. Clark repressed a sigh.  
"Okay, I'll let you get dressed and then you are free to go." The doctor smiled before exiting the room.  
Clark looked down and saw that Lana was crying. Why was she crying?  
"Lana, what's wrong" Clark bent down, so he was eye level with Lana, who was still lying down.  
"Clark..." She cried. She just couldn't control her emotions during this pregnancy.  
"What" Clark said sympathetically as he rubbed her arm.  
"You hate this baby." She looked away from him.  
"No... Lana, I don't." Clark said honestly. He didn't hate this baby, he hated the fact that it was his. He felt horrible for making Lana cry, he was trying to do everything right for her, but he couldn't help the way he felt.  
"Yes you do. You don't want our baby..." Lana sobbed more.  
"No, I swear I don't, I just..." Clark didn't want to tell her the real reasons why he didn't want their child. He didn't want to make her worry, and he had been trying to act like he was excited about this baby, but apparently he was failing horribly, because Lana saw straight threw his façade.  
"Just what? Because Clark, no matter how much I think about it, I just can't understand. Yes, I know you wouldn't have chosen to have this baby, we both wouldn't have, but we can't change that and I don't know why..." Lana had to top, her sobs interrupting her. Why couldn't he feel love for his baby?  
Clark had no choice but to tell her the real reasons, because this was obviously weighing down a lot on Lana"Lana... it's not that I don't want our baby... it's just... I don't think I should have kids."  
"But why" Lana asked, knowing that it wasn't because he didn't want kids.  
"It'll mess them up. I'll mess them up." Clark felt guilty for telling her, making her worried again.  
"Why would you think that" Lana asked, seeing that Clark really did have reasons other than just not wanting a family with her. Although it scared her, she was glad to know the real truth.  
"Look at how I turned out. With the money and power that he is going to grow up with... it destroys people Lana." Clark confessed.  
"Clark, you turned out great." Lana didn't see it.  
"Maybe, but I saw what I was going to end up like. It only changed because I saw the future. I always thought I was turning out fine... but I wasn't. I only changed because I was practically forced to. Our baby isn't going to get that warning." Clark explained.  
"Maybe not, but he is going to get you. Clark, I'm still not sure exactly what happened in your coma, but from what you've told me, you said your father was the main reason you were..." Lana didn't know what word to use"bad. You won't be like your father, you've already proved that. So you can teach your son better than anyone, because you know exactly what not to do, and how to fix it." Lana tried to help him, but his expression didn't look like she had convinced him.  
"Lana, I won't be a good father, despite what you think. Even if I did everything possible, the temptations are just too great and he will have access so easily..." Clark thought of how easy it was for him to do things, and cover them up, with all is money.  
"Clark, you will be, trust me." Lana was sure he would be a great father, if only he accepted it willingly first.  
"Lana, I won't... I really feel like we shouldn't keep this baby." Clark looked her straight in the eyes, which showed her he was really doing this out of genuine concern, not just to make his life easier.  
Lana's heart felt like it was being fought over. Clark, the person she loved more than anyone, was asking her to give up her baby. But even though he baby hadn't been born yet, her mind had already been set in the frame of that it was. She had come to really, truly love her baby already. She could imagine the future, and her holding her baby boy, and it felt so good. She extremely wanted this baby. She couldn't give him up to someone she didn't know; who might not be good to him. It would haunt her every day.  
"Clark..." Lana felt like she was hurting Clark"I can't... I'm sorry."  
"No, don't be sorry." Clark sighed. Lana would be a great mother, but would that be enough? He never really had a mother, but she had shaped Lex, and he turned out alright, but the path he took to get there...

Clark and Lana walked into the Kent house after Lana's check up.  
Clark and Jonathan had almost completely gotten back to their old relationship. It was steady, but some of the trust had been lost.   
Jonathan had seen how Clark cared for his daughter, and treated her with love and respect. As much as he wanted to be angry with Clark forever, he couldn't. That was unfair; to Clark, who seemed to be trying very had to fix his mistakes; to Lana, who needed the support of both her men in her life, but most of all it was unfair to the baby.  
So they had both worked out their differences and set them aside.  
"How did it go" Martha smiled. As much as she was hurt to hear about Lana's pregnancy, she had forgiven her daughter almost immediately. Now she found herself becoming less anxious about the baby, and almost excited at the thought of a grandchild. Plus Lana needed her mother's attitude to be an optimistic one, because with everything that there was to worry about being a pregnant teenager, she needed to lose some of that anxiety in her mother.  
Martha worried so much for Lana; she herself had never given birth, or carried a child before, so she had no idea how scared or worried she must be, or what if felt like. But Martha knew how much Lana wanted this baby, now that she had gotten over the initial shock, and Martha wouldn't have chose this route for her daughter, but she was happy none the less that Lana was going to get what Martha never could.  
"Everything is normal." Clark forced a smile.  
Both parents picked up on the underlying tension between the two, but left it alone.  
A grin covered Lana's face"We found out the sex of the baby." Lana would be so glad to tell her mother; it was someone who would truly be excited.  
"You didn't want to be surprised" Jonathan smirked. He knew he would have.  
"Well Clark wanted to, but I don't." Lana had no desire to be surprised, she wanted to know, to prepare.  
"Well" Martha smiled, wanting to know.  
"It's a boy." Lana flashed a huge smile.  
"I'm so happy for you." Martha hugged her daughter.  
"Congratulations." Jonathan gripped Clark's shoulder. Although Jonathan didn't share the same point of view as Martha and Lana on the baby, he knew that he had to treat this as the special event it was, even if the way it had come to be was not what he wanted.  
"Thanks." Clark wanted to get out of here. This was making him fell even worse. Martha and Jonathan were more excited about his baby than him. He was a horrible person. He loved his baby, he truly did, and that is why he wanted to give him up. To protect him.  
"I got to go." Clark kissed Lana on the forehead, goodbye, before leaving.

**1 ½ months later**

"Clark, please come with me. I want you to be there for this. It will help you." Lana asked.  
"Alright." Clark said, hoping that Lana was right. Maybe if he went baby shopping with Lana, he would be excited bout his child. He had been desperately trying to feel peace about keeping his child, because it was going to happen weather he wanted it to or not.  
"Thank you. Come by in 20 minutes." Lana felt a little relieved.

"I like it, but it won't fit in the baby's room." Lana referred to the rather large baby crib.  
"Are you sure you don't want to move into the mansion" Clark asked again.  
"I'm sure." Lana declined again. Truth was, she really felt like it would have been easier, but she needed the support of her parents too, and they wouldn't give it if she moved in with Clark.  
"Alright. But I'm putting a baby room in the mansion anyways." Clark said, knowing that his baby would spend night there either way. Lana was right, going shopping for their baby did make him really want the baby, and he could picture his son in each crib, playing with each toy, and it felt good. But he also felt horribly guilty with each thought. Guilty that he wanted it, even though he knew how things could end up.  
Lana smiled, as she sensed the change in Clark's attitude. It made her feel a lot better. 

** 1 week later **  
Lana was lying in between Clark's legs, on the couch, as they were watching a movie.  
Her back was resting against his chest, and his arms were wrapped around her, so her body shook every time he laughed  
Lana hadn't been paying attention to the movie, she knew it was a comedy, by Clark's laughter. It felt really good just to relax, especially with Clark.  
Clark's hand absent mindedly rubbed her swollen stomach, something he did all the time. Lana loved it, not particularly for the action, but the meaning behind it. He had only started doing that for the past month, and it showed he accepted and wanted this baby. Lana had taken note of his attitude, and she knew that Clark still wasn't fully accepting of it, but he wanted their son, but it made him feel guilty.  
Even though their was nothing to be worried about, and Lana should have been relaxing, she couldn't . She felt so strange and uneasy. Lana tried to brush it off as anxiety towards the birth of the baby, but when she felt a sharp pain go threw her, she couldn't deny it.  
"What was that" Clark had felt the pulse go through her stomach too, since his hand was there.  
"I don't know..." Lana was worried.  
"Was that a contraction" Clark asked her, seeing that was what she obviously thought.  
"I think so... but I'm not due for almost another week." Lana was scared.  
"Don't worry, it's only a week Lana." Clark knew that was perfectly normal for a baby to be born a week early.  
But that was not what Lana was worried about, it was the fact that now she was going to give birth, and it scared her so much.  
"I should call the doctor." Clark moved Lana over, so he could get off the couch.

Lana sat there, trying to stay clam, and hoping it wasn't a contraction. Clark was off talking to the doctor. She was so scared of this birth.  
Would it be normal? Would he child be normal?  
Clark hadn't regained his abilities, but he had become strengthened a lot, to were he could be easily classified as the fastest and strongest man alive, but no where's near where he used to be. He never regained his X-ray either. Clark had told her that he never expecting to have anything more returned to him, that it was probably the lasting effects to his body that his old nurse, Judy, had said were effects of the kryptonite serum. Clark knew his body better than her, so she trusted his judgment.  
But would her son have Clark's old abilities? I mean, naturally he should have half of Clark's DNA, and so should have at least part of Clark's unique abilities, but when her and Clark had conceived their son, Clark had been stripped of his abilities. Would that effect her son?  
Lana had thought about it a lot, and she knew Clark obviously hadn't, because otherwise he would have never suggested giving their son up for adoption. Maybe he would be normal...  
It wasn't that Lana didn't want her son to be part Kryptonian, it was just she didn't know how to handle that. She didn't know if it would hurt her son, if the birth would have complications, if...  
"Okay, the doctor said we should just wait until the contraction are about 6 minutes apart, and then go to the hospital." Clark interrupted her thoughts.  
"Clark, I don't even know if that was a contraction." Lana said nervously.  
"Well..." Clark had just assumed. Maybe he had gotten a little ahead of himself.  
Lana let out a little gasp and started crying.  
"What" Clark jumped to help her, and held her hand.  
"My water just broke." Lana said, dread apparent in her eyes.

TBC...


	45. Arrival

"Do you want anything" Clark asked Lana, whose contractions were now about 10 minutes apart.  
"No, I'm okay. They really aren't that bad." Lana referred to her contractions. She had always expected them to hurt more.  
"Are you sure" Clark held her hand.  
"Yes." Lana laughed"Clark, calm down, you are more jumpy than me." She teased.  
Clark grinned, and turned away embarrassed.

Clark helped Lana out of the car, as Daris, Clark's security guard, pushed back the reporters.  
Clark helped Lana into the hospital. Lana had felt over whelmed with the media. Sure, even before her and Clark had been dating, people would approach her, looking for answers or a story. It only increased once they started dating and became more serious. She'd seen her share of candid shots of her and Clark on dates, or just driving home from school, in magazines, but she had never been bombarded with reporters so heavily before. While she was pregnant she had experiences the very determined reporters, to say the least, but nothing like this.  
Lately they had been leaving her and Clark alone because there was nothing more to tell. For a few months, they had followed her and Clark to every check-up for the baby, so they could indeed link her pregnancy to Clark, but now they all knew, so what was the point?  
Clark would have just openly said Lana was carrying his child, but Lana and the Kents didn't want that, they wanted it to be private, so Clark obliged, and by now he had the no comment line down pat.  
Lana didn't like any of the attention she had been getting from the media, or her peers, about her pregnancy. She'd been called a slut, whore, and every other insult, behind her back and to her face, along with every other teenage mother relating her story to Lana, trying to start a friendship. People Lana had never seen before started coming up to her, to ask her if she was really pregnant, and who the father was. Weather people wanted to befriend her, or humiliate her; it seemed like everyone knew who she was now.  
Lana was glad that the later months of her pregnancy were in the summer, so she could kind of hide out, away from all the questions. It was just too stressful. About the last two weeks reporters started showing up again, wanting to be there, waiting for her due date. Clark had gotten a security guard for her, during the last month of her pregnancy, and at first she thought it was a little too much, but soon realized that she indeed needed him.  
Lana hated seeing magazines with her face and some horrible headline on it. True, they were focused on Clark, and usually she was referred to as 'the girl Clark Luthor knocked up.' But it still bothered her. She wasn't like Clark, she couldn't not care what people thought about her. She valued her reputation, so it troubled her.  
"You okay" Clark asked Lana once they were inside the hospital and she was sitting down in a chair, in the waiting room.  
"Yeah." Lana lied.  
"Okay, I'm going to let the doctor know we are here." Clark told her.  
"I think the reporters probably did that for us." Lana joked, but she seriously wondered how they all knew. She guessed that a nurse had leaked something, and word spread quickly.  
Clark chuckled and kissed her forehead"I'll be right back." Clark went over to talk to the receptionist, trying to find their doctor.

Lana sat there, and groaned involuntarily as she felt another contraction pulse threw her, they were getting more painful and frequent. Lana sighed as it passed.  
"Are you having a boy or a girl" The lady sitting next to her asked. The woman looked friendly, but Lana had to think, was this just some reporter trying to get information? She hated that she had been driven to second guessing everyone's intentions. But either way it didn't matter. They would find out soon anyway.  
"A boy." Lana smiled, with anxiety and excitement.  
"Don't worry, I was young when I had my first baby too, you'll be fine." The woman said, sensing Lana's nervousness and fear.  
Lana smiled politely, but she doubted her baby would be anything like this woman's, after all, her baby was only half human.  
"My name is Wendy." The lady smiled.  
"Hi, I'm..." Lana had assumed that Wendy already knew who she was, but saw she was wrong"I'm Liz." She lied.  
"Well I guess I'll congratulate you early." She smiled, taking in Lana's physical features. She was such a tiny girl and by how much her stomach bulged out, she guessed that Lana was going to have a big baby. She felt almost sorry for the young girl, her stomach so ridiculously out of proportion with the rest of her body. She couldn't be more than 18 years old.  
"Thanks." Lana smiled, but was cut off by another contraction, and gasped, holding her breath until it passed.  
"Is the father here" Wendy asked.  
Lana found herself disliking this woman, she seemed to be judging her, and didn't like her prying into her life"Yes, he is here." She said defensively.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stick my nose in your business... but that is good." The lady said, trying not to stick her foot in her mouth.  
"Lana, okay, they have a room for you." Clark said, squatting down, so he could be eye level with Lana.  
"You're Clark Luthor." Wendy said, recognizing him. Now that she thought about it, 'Liz' did look familiar. She must by Lana Lang.  
Clark ignored her"Are you okay" He asked Lana as another contraction washed over her. This one was the most painful one she had received yet, and she couldn't stand up, not yet.  
"I just need a second..." Lana said, glad that Clark had returned"Okay..."  
Clark helped Lana up, and wrapped an arm around her waist, as he escorted her to the hospital room they had reserved for her.

_I guess it isn't any wonder  
When you think about it  
Nothing's ever gonna be the same _

Lana was thankful to lie back in the bed. The doctor came in the room only minutes after they had.  
"Lana, how long have you been having contractions for" He asked.  
"About 6 hours." Lana said accurately.  
"And do you know how far apart the contractions are now" The doctor quizzed.  
And as if on cue, Lana felt another contraction, and squeezed Clark's hand hard, using her Lamas classes, and took deep breathes, letting them out slowly. It really did help too.  
"About 3 minutes apart now." Clark answered.  
"Really" The doctor said surprised.  
"What" Lana said, feeling panic store up in her"What's wrong"  
"Nothing, it's just usually it doesn't happen that quickly. But it's perfectly normal, better actually. You won't have a long 36 hour labor this way." The doctor said optimistically.  
"Oh." Lana sighed with relief. She was just waiting for someone to tell her bad news.  
"Okay, Lana." The doctor said, spreading her legs, to see how much she was dilated.

"Hi, we are here to see Lana Lang." Jonathan told the receptionist, with Martha behind him.  
"I'm sorry, I've been told to except absolutely no visitors." She said, already having to reject information about Lana Lang to dozens of other people.  
"We are her parents." Martha chimed in.  
"I don't really know that, forgive me but you had to of seen the crowd outside the hospital. So far I've seen 8 of her parents, her brothers, her grandparents and her sister." The receptionist cocked an eyebrow.  
"No, I'll show you." Jonathan said understandingly, and pulled out his driver's license.  
"I... I was told not to let anyone in." She said wearily"by Clark Luthor." She said, her voice showing fear, that she would mess up.  
"Call him." Martha said"He'll let us in."

"Mr. Luthor" A nurse walked in to Lana's room, looking for Clark.  
"Yeah" Clark looked up.  
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but there are some people here saying they are Lana Lang's parents and are asking for you, to verify them." She said, feeling intimidated by the Luthor name and the whole commotion it was bringing to the small hospital she worked in.  
"Oh... okay, I'll be there in a minute." Clark turned back to Lana, as the nurse walked out"Lana, you're parents are here, but I have to go get them. I'll be back in 5 minutes." He kissed her forehead"Are you going to be okay"  
"Yeah... go ahead." She said, out of breath.

"Ah..." Lana couldn't help but cry out as an extremely painful contraction pulsed threw her.  
Clark entered her room again, and was being followed by her parents and Lex.  
"Baby, are you okay" Clark offered his hand, and she immediately took it. Clark could tell she was in a lot of pain just by looking at her"Do you want something" Clark referred to a drug for the pain, and Lana understood.  
"Yeah..." Lana said instinctively. She had wanted a natural birth, but now she would gladly accept an epidural.  
Clark immediately found a nurse, and had her right on the task, while her parents came around to the side of bed.  
"Sweetie, we're here for you." Martha smiled, wanting to assist her daughter in any way possible.  
"Thanks..." Lana said, feeling a tinge of comfort in their presence. They represented safety to her. But she wanted Clark"Where did Clark go" She didn't notice him leave, yet she couldn't see him in the room.  
"I'm right here, don't worry." Clark moved into view, next to her bedside.  
The doctor entered the crowded room"Um... I have to check on Lana, and everyone except the father should wait in the waiting room outside."  
"Right. Okay, we'll be outside" Jonathan flashed his daughter a smile before he exited the room, followed by Lex and Martha.  
"She's about 10 centimeters dilated." The doctor said.  
"What's that mean" Clark had been gone for that speech.  
"She's about ready to give birth." He informed him"and the baby is in the perfect position."  
Lana was glad, because she wanted it all over with.

"No, I want Clark with me." Lana said desperately as they wheeled her whole bed into the delivery room"He has to be here with me."  
"He will be, don't worry." A nurse said sympathetically"He just has to put a gown on, before he can come in here.  
And sure enough, a minute later Clark entered the room, in a green hospital gown over his regular clothes, and he positioned himself half behind and half on the side of her bed, so she could see him, and hold his hand, yet he wasn't in the way.  
Lana felt significantly better after she had received the epidural, but was still in pain.  
Clark wished he could take her pain for her, as he looked down at her sweaty, stressed, and exhausted face.  
"Okay, Lana..." The doctor said, as he put gloves on"Are you ready."  
Lana nodded, as a tear fell down her cheek.  
Clark rubbed her shoulder, a reassuring gesture.  
"Alright, On three, you need to push." He instructed her"One... Two... Three..."

_My baby boy, sweet baby boy  
You know I'm gonna be there for you  
I said,  
My baby boy, sweet baby boy _

Clark watched as Lana struggled with pain, as she gave birth to their son. He could tell it was extremely painful by her screams, and how hard she was clutching his hand. He muttered reassuring comments to her, but it was a panicky experience, just to watch, he couldn't imagine how she could do it.  
He had heard all about other births, and he'd seen the movies and TV shows, but nothing compares when it's your child, and you are there, watching it, living it. True, it was a typical birth, but nothing about it seemed average to Clark.  
"Ah" Lana let out a cry of pain, as the sounds of a baby screaming filled the air.  
Clark felt Lana collapse back against the bed, as the nurse took their baby away, to clean him up, after the umbilical cord had been cut.  
"What does he look like" Lana asked, in a completely worn out tone.  
"I don't know." Clark kissed her cheek"but you did it, Lana."  
Not even 30 seconds later the nurse had returned with their baby boy in her arms, he was shrieking loudly and she placed him in Lana's arms. Lana barely had enough strength to hold her baby, and it was basically resting against her chest. As if their son knew it was his mother, he instantly stopped crying, as Lana's heart beat pacified him.

Lana started crying"Clark... he's so beautiful." She kissed the top of her son's head. Clark pulled up a chair next to her bed, as he gazed upon his son.  
Lana half laughed, half cried. As she looked down at his little face, she felt completely satisfied.  
"Hold him, Clark." Lana smiled, as Clark took the small infant from her arms.  
Lana didn't think she would ever see anything more beautiful as she looked upon Clark as he held his son, and oh was it his son, it showed already. Their baby had little tuffs of brown hair over his head.

_I never thought I was strong enough  
To handle raising my own son  
You'll always fear what you've never done  
I hope he'll know me when I come home_

Clark never really believed it when people spoke of how they felt when their child was born, but now he did. Because as held his son, he knew that no matter what, he would never let anything happen to him. He immediately loved his baby more than he thought possible.

_Nothing's gunna change my love for you  
I love my child  
He's got his mother's smile  
I'm so fortunate  
So fortunate  
Life can get tight   
But I will make it right  
I'm so fortunate  
So fortunate _

He had never got to bond with his baby like Lana had, carrying him for 9 months. This was the first real physical bond with his child, and it was amazing. Just knowing that him and Lana made this beautiful child... it was just so remarkable. Any doubt he had about this child before was washed away as he stared at the infant in his arms.

_But then I see my baby  
Suddenly i'm not crazy  
It all makes sense when i look into his eyes_

He realized what he couldn't before; he would do everything possible to make sure his baby grew up right, and the passion was so great you knew you would succeed.  
Clark felt so many emotions towards his baby, love and pride being the greatest. Everything Clark had gone through in his whole life was worth this one incredible moment.  
"What do you want to name him" Lana asked Clark.  
They had discussed so many names, but neither of them felt any were right for their son. They wanted a name with meaning.  
"I..." Clark thought for a second"Let's name him Alex, after Lex."  
Lana smiled, after everything Lex had helped them through; she really loved him like a brother and would be proud to name her baby after him, and wondered why she hadn't thought of it before"It's perfect."  
Clark brushed a hand over his son's small head. Clark had never held a person this small before. Clark still couldn't get over how much he loved him already, how was it even possible? The baby wasn't even an hour old.  
Clark placed their son back in Lana's arms. With her baby on her chest, safe and healthy, she felt like she could finally rest, like she hadn't in 9 months.

Clark walked out into the waiting room half an hour later, a huge grin plastered on his face, and it refused to come off.  
Martha and Jonathan popped off their seats, and headed over to Clark.  
Lex went over to his brother too"I can tell by that goofy smile everything went well." Lex teased. He had to admit, he thought that Clark was making a huge mistake with this baby, but now, looking at Clark's face and seeing how happy he was, he couldn't help but feel completely happy for his brother.  
"Yeah, 8 pounds 15 ounces." Clark said proudly.  
"That's a big baby." Jonathan chuckled, thinking of his almost 9 pound grandson.  
Clark didn't really know much about babies and didn't know if it was big or not for a newborn, but when he held him, he couldn't remember anything so small.  
"Lana is asleep, she is totally exhausted, but she wanted me to wake her up when you guys came in." Clark said.  
"Can we see him" Martha asked excitedly.  
"Of course." Clark led them back to Lana's room, and gently woke her up.  
Even though Lana looked comely exhausted and depleted of all strength, he thought she looked beautiful, because she had a glow of happiness about her. She truly inspired him, he didn't think he could have done what she just had and still smile.  
Lana smiled, as she saw her parents and Lex were in the room. She wanted to show them her miracle"Hey."  
"How are you feeling" Martha hugged her daughter.  
"I'm tired, but okay." She said honestly.  
Clark picked up his son out of the small transparent crib he laid in, which was touching Lana's bed.  
"Aw..." Martha said, as she laid eyes on the baby, and she found herself dangerously close to tears"Can I hold him"  
Clark smiled and handed him over to her.  
"You two must be really proud." Jonathan smiled as he saw the baby over Martha's shoulders.  
"Do you have a name for him yet" Lex couldn't help but smile.  
"Alex." Clark looked down, smirking.  
It was understood, without words that he was named after Lex. Lex smirked too"Great name." It really meant a lot to him"Congratulations, Clark."  
Lex and Clark shared one of their rare brotherly hugs.

TBC...


	46. New Experiences

Lana was finally glad to be back in her house, with her baby; Away from the hospitals, away from the press, in the comfort of her own home.   
She looked down at the magazine on the kitchen counter. Front page was a picture of her, Clark and Alex coming out of the hospital with a headline big as life 'Luther baby born.' Lana smirked, suddenly she didn't mind so much. Her mother must have bought it, because she knew Clark never would.  
In the picture, you could barely see Alex in the carrier, he was wrapped in a blue blanket, his little head, covered in brown hair, was the only thing visible. Lana couldn't help but grimace at how worn out she looked, completely stressed and run down. 'Well I did just have a baby!' Lana thought, defending herself to no one and everyone. But she didn't mind, not this time, nothing could bring her down from this high in her life, which had been brought on by Alex.  
Lana was snapped out of her thoughts as her father and Clark entered the house, laughing, returning from farm work.  
"Hey." Clark kissed her forehead, as he sat down next to her"How's the baby"  
"He's fine, he's just sleeping." Lana was thankful for that too, Alex was a lot of work, but worth it. She had her mother to help her though, who was so willing. 

**6 months later**

Clark un-strapped the car seat/ baby carrier from the back of his car. He couldn't help but smile, seeing he had traded his beloved Ferrari for a Toyota, but he needed the backseat space for the baby.  
Clark took the baby carrier, which held his sleeping child, out of the car, and into the Kent house, but not before grabbing the diaper bag first.  
"Hey, Clark." Lana kissed him as he entered the house.  
"Hey, I'm just going to put him down, and I'll be right back." Clark carefully lifted Alex out of the carrier, making sure he didn't wake him up, as he carried him up the stars to his room and laid him down in the crib, flipping the baby monitor on.  
"So how is it going" Clark hugged Lana from behind as he kissed her cheek.  
"Um... it's hard." Lana laughed"But I'm almost ready for finals." Lana said referring to her schoolwork.  
Clark had arranged it so that Lana could take all her classes from home. It was like home school but it had the plus of not having to turn in every assignment, an arrangement only a Luthor could pull off.  
Lana knew Clark could have just as easily made it so she passed every class anyways, but she really wanted to finish high school, doing it the right way. Attending her Senior year with Clark at Smallville high just wasn't an option.  
Clark had assured her that if she wanted to, he could make it work. He had offered a nanny thousands of times, but she didn't want her baby to be raised by a babysitter, she wanted to raise Alex, and for that she needed to be home with him.  
Clark barely went to school, twice a week if he was lucky, but he knew he would pass, he passed his junior year with 73 absences, and about zero work done. Clark was 18 now and so he started working more with LuthorCorp and figuring out the business, taking an active part. The rest of the time he spent with both his babies, Lana and Alex.  
He had been taking Alex a lot more lately to give Lana some peace and quiet so she could study. He admired her for going threw with high school, she was working harder than ever, but the baby had just started sleeping threw the night, which maid life a lot easier.   
Things had changed so much since Alex's birth, both externally and internally. Cark thought about his car again, and then about how his frig held baby bottles instead of beer bottles, how his room was filled with just as many items for the baby as for him, how not even a year ago Clark always he to be out, doing something, but now just a day hanging around the house with Lana and Alex made him happy.   
Clark had never even begun to realize how much a baby changes things, changes you. Before his only worries were for his brother and Lana, and they could take care of themselves, but now he had this little baby that was constantly on his mind.  
Clark found himself doing things with his baby that he would have been completely embarrassed about before, but now it didn't matter if anyone saw him show that kind of affection to his baby, because he wanted them to know.  
Clark's life had never been busier either, juggling a baby, a girlfriend, and now LutherCorp. Clark never really thought about what he wanted to do in life, he always assumed that he would end up in professional sports or take over the company, but nothing he imagined really appealed to him. But now that he was actually working at LuthorCorp and contracting business deals, he realized her really did love it. He truly was born to run a business, and now that Lionel was out of the picture, and he had no pressure to do it, he found he really did want to. Plus he got to work with his brother, who had taught him everything he knew about business, which he loved.  
He really felt happy, everything in his life was all coming together and he loved what he saw in the future too.  
"Hey Clark." Jonathan greeted Clark.  
"Hey." Clark returned the smile.  
Clark was also content with the relationship he had with Jonathan, although it had taken over 3 ½ years and more fights than you could count or even remember, they finally had a strong bond, as close to father and son Clark had ever experienced, and Jonathan never thought it was possible but he could now look at the Luthor name as something to be proud of, because he really respected Clark and Lex as people now.  
Jonathan could clearly see, along with anyone else who knew Clark and Lana well, that they were two completely different people than 2 years before. They had gone threw so much and all those experiences changed them.  
The baby had changed Clark more than anyone, of course he still has ruminates of his old life, the life that Lionel had guided, and they were always going to be there, but Clark had overcome the big things, and had drastically changed from the spoiled, ill-behaved, selfish boy he had once been. He was now a man in every sense, and it showed. He actually knew the meaning of taking responsibility for his actions.  
Jonathan had his doubts at first, about how much Clark was going to acknowledge his child, but he had destroyed those doubts by his daily visits to his son and Lana. Alex spent almost as much time with Clark at the mansion and Kent house, as he did with Lana.  
Jonathan's thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of a baby crying over the monitor.  
"I'll get him." Clark offered.  
"No, I haven't spent any time with him the past few days." She felt guilty, but she had to study. She made her way upstairs to fetch her crying baby boy.  
Martha entered the room"Did you bring my grandson back yet" She teased, but truthfully she did miss Alex, he had been gone almost 5 days.  
"Yep." Clark smiled, and as if on cue Lana came back down the stairs with Alex in her arms, whose eyes were red from crying, and was still crying a little bit.  
"You're okay baby." Lana bounced him on her hip, as she popped a bottle in the microwave for 10 seconds.  
"Clark, are you going to stay for dinner" Martha asked.  
"Sure." Clark smiled.  
Lana came next to Clark, taking a seat, with Alex still in her arms, who was now being pacified by his bottle.

**1 year later **

Clark was woken by the sound of little feet running around. He propped himself up in his bed, and began to think, and no, Alex hadn't spent the night at his house. Strange, Clark used to be able to sleep threw anything and basically still could, but certain sounds were sure to wake up him. Mainly the sounds of his son.  
Even though Clark knew that Alex had not been here in the night, he also knew that he was here now, because he could here his little laugh ring through the mansion, and before Clark could get up, his almost 2 year old son ran into his room.  
"Daddy" He shouted, clearly excited"Up" He grabbed Clark's hand, trying to get Clark out of bed.  
"Hey, Buddy." Clark picked Alex up"Did mommy bring you here"  
Alex nodded his head as he wrapped an arm around his father's neck"Gramma, Grampa, too."  
Clark laughed at his son's excitement, but he couldn't remember if he had something planned today with Lana and her parents, he must have, or why would they all be here?  
Clark walked out in his boxers into the main room to find Lana watching TV.  
"Hey, Lana." Clark kissed Lana's cheek, and she jumped, because she hadn't heard Clark come into the room.  
"Alexander, I told you not to wake Daddy up." Lana raised an eyebrow at her son.  
"I didn't, Mom." He said, looking up at her with innocent eyes, as Clark set him down on the couch next to her.  
Alex laughed and kissed his Mommy on the cheek, mimicking his Dad.  
"No, I was up..." Clark gave her a puzzled look"Alex said your parents are here too."  
"Yeah..." Lana didn't get what he was missing.  
"Did we have something planned" Clark asked.  
Lana couldn't help but laugh"Yeah, it's Thanksgiving, remember"  
"Oh, right." Clark felt stupid, but now he remembered. He didn't know they were coming over so early, it was just past 8am, but he didn't mind.  
Alex started jumping on the couch and laughed as he almost fell off.  
"Alex, stop. You know the rules." Lana scolded him.  
"Nu uh" Alex said"Those are at our house! Not daddy's house! He lets me."  
Clark tried to hide a smirk, but Lana saw it. He always spoiled Alex, it was his weakness, he couldn't say no to him.  
"Listen to your mom." Clark re-enforced Lana.  
Alex stopped, but made sure to let them know he was mad about it.  
"Clark, you're up." Martha and Jonathan walked into the room.  
"Yeah." Clark found himself embarrassed, as he was in only his boxers"I'm going to go get dressed and take a shower. I'll be back in a little while." Clark said getting up to leave.  
Alex ran after Clark and grabbed at his shirt, wanting him to pick him up.  
"Buddy, you got to stay with Mommy while Daddy takes a shower." Clark squatted down, making him eye level with his son.  
"No..." Alex whined.  
"Why don't you go play with your toys." Clark distracted him. Jonathan had always said he had never known a kid who had more toys, and it was true, Clark did buy him too many toys.  
Alex raced to his toy room and ran back out minutes later, carrying his toys.  
"Gramma" He said excitedly, as he dragged his new toy helicopter over, so he could show her.

"Uncle Lex." Alex said in the middle of playing"Eat."  
"We're going to eat soon, twerp." Lex ruffled his nephew's thick brown hair.  
"Dad" Alex said catching sight of Clark, and completely forgetting his previous conversation as he ran over to him.  
"Having fun" Clark threw him up in the air, making him laugh.  
"Yeah, Uncle Lex was playing with me." He beamed.  
Clark laughed as he stared at Lex, who was turning away in embarrassment.  
"Dad, put me on your shoulders" Alex begged, and Clark obliged, as Alex shrieked with delight, as both his hands grabbed handfuls of Clark's wet hair, steadying him, and Clark walked into the kitchen.  
"You guys want any help" Clark asked, seeing the meal Lana and Martha were putting together, along with one of Clark's cooks.  
"Nope, we are doing fine." Lana smiled.  
"What is that" Alex asked from atop of Clark's shoulders.  
"It's a turkey." Clark laughed.

Clark and Lex went into Clark's office in the mansion; they needed to have a serious talk about an important topic.  
"Lex, he gets his hearing parole in a month and will undoubtedly get it if we don't do something." Clark said referring to his father, Lionel.  
"I know, and I've been searching for months for dirt on him, but everything is either covered up way too good without evidence or the statue of limitations has expired." Lex said in a defeated tone.  
"I got a restraining order against him for me, Lana and Alex. You're sure you don't want one" Clark asked again.  
"Yeah, besides I have to work out the issues of the company with him, if and when he does get out." Lex said sensibly.  
"Alright... but I don't know how to stop him from getting his parole request granted." Clark said, his voice edgy.  
"We'll think of something." Lex knew he would try his hardest.  
Before Clark could reply he heard his son screaming from the other room"Okay, we'll finish this later."

Clark made his way back out to the main room, to see Lana picking a crying Alex off the floor.  
"What happened" Clark asked.  
"He bumped his head." Lana kissed the injured spot.  
"Dad..." Alex sobbed, and stretched his arms out, wanting Clark to take him.  
"Aw, buddy you're okay." Clark picked up his son, and gently rubbed the spot were he had gotten hurt.  
"It hurt..." He buried his face in his father's chest, and he began to hiccup as he slowly began to stop crying.  
Clark rubbed his son's back and rocked him a little bit.  
Lana and Clark had seen their son get hurt as many times as the average 2 year old, and they knew that he had not gained Clark's invincibility, at least not yet. And although their son was sturdy and strong, he was in the normal range for a toddler. So far none of Clark's abilities had shone up in their son, except his strong willed nature.  
"Clark, we really should get going, it's almost midnight." Lana said"And Alex is cranky, he should get to b-e-d." Lana spelled the last word, knowing Alex would object.  
"Alright." Clark nudged his half asleep son awake, in his arms"Hey, buddy, you and mommy are going to leave now." Clark kissed his son's forehead, goodbye.  
Alex started to cry again"No... I want to stay with you." He pouted, obviously tired and irritable.  
"He can if you don't mind." Clark said, knowing he had nothing to do tomorrow.  
"Alright, that's fine." Lana kissed her son's cheek"Bye sweetie."  
"Bye Mommy." He hugged her with one arm, still in his father's.  
"Bye Lana." Clark gave Lana a quick but passionate kiss, and Alex was already asleep against Clark's chest.  
"Are you ready to go" Martha asked, coming into the room.  
"Yeah." Lana said grabbing her coat and looking for her purse.  
"That was a great Thanksgiving, Clark, thanks." Martha said.  
"You are the one who did it all, I should be thanking you." Clark smiled, as he hugged Martha with one arm, as the other one held his sleeping son.

Clark still had Alex in his arms as he opened the top drawer of the dresser, pulling out Alex's P.J.s.  
He dressed his son, successful in not waking him. Clark smiled thinking of how Alex had inherited Clark's ability to sleep threw almost everything.  
Clark set Alex on the bed as he himself changed into his boxers and a T-shirt, before he climbed into his rather large bed, and with his son lying on his chest, and one of his arms wrapped around the small child, he fell asleep listening to his son's chest rise and fall.

TBC...


	47. Trouble

"Dad."   
Clark felt little hands nudging him awake.  
"Dad." Alex pushed Clark harder, trying to wake up him.  
Clark sat up in his bed, and focused his attention on his son"Hey, you're up early." 'Like always' Clark thought. Clark had quickly discovered that his son was a morning person, up before seven most days.  
"Dad, you're on T.V." His son laughed, still urging Clark to get out of bed.  
"Really" Clark laughed, not really taking his 2 year old son seriously.  
"Come see" Alex ran out of the room and Clark followed him into the next room. Clark saw the TV was on already. That was like Alex, he was so mechanical, and he had to figure everything out and do it for himself. He had learned about 2 months ago how to turn on the TV and radio, and what buttons did what.  
"Look" Alex jumped around, laughing.  
Clark finally focused on the TV and saw it was the news. His son hadn't just been saying random two year old babble, Clark really was on TV. But he looked like he was 17 in the piece they were running.  
"...Lionel Luthor is going to be approaching the parole board at the end of this month. As many of you can remember he was convicted for shooting his youngest son, Clark Luthor..." Clark listened to the anchorman. He saw them show footage of his trail, him testifying and another clip of him coming out of the hospital after his gun shots wounds. He certainly didn't want his son watching this; Alex might not understand what they were saying, but he could see Clark on the TV as they read off his medical injuries and showed graphic pictures of them.  
Clark turned off the TV, as his son looked up at him with big eyes"Dad... you have an ouwy." He referred to the injuries he had seen on his dad.  
"No, I'm fine." This was exactly why he didn't want Alex watching this.  
"Nu uh" Alex protested as he ran up to Clark and lifted his shirt, searching for the gun shot wounds he had seen on TV.  
"But..." Alex looked very upset.  
"Are you hungry" Clark distracted him, and picked Alex up, giving him a piggy back ride to the kitchen.

**2 weeks later **

"He is acting like a brat, and you know it." Clark said, referring to their son.  
"I know, but what are we supposed to do" Lana had tried everything, but Alex wouldn't start behaving better.  
"Move in with me." Clark said immediately.  
"Clark..." Lana said, turning away, they had discussed this at least a hundred times.  
"Lana, come on, he is throwing these temper tantrums for a reason." Clark said.  
"Yeah, I know it's hard for him going from house to house but... I can't move in with you." Lana said, thinking of her parents.  
"Why not" Clark said frustrated"Okay, I understood at first, but you were 17 then, not 19, almost 20, like you are now. You are going to have to move out sometime."  
Clark was right, but the tone he was using made her want to object"Well that's not the only reason he is acting out, and you know it."  
"It's a big one." Clark felt very irritable, he wanted his son and girlfriend to live with him, it would make everything easier and it was only natural. But no, Lana would object and continue living with her parents.  
Lana felt like she was being blamed and was quick to throw it back"Well if you wouldn't spoil him so much, he wouldn't think he could do whatever he wants."  
"I'm only giving my son things to make him happier." Clark said defensively. So what if he bought him a few toys every now and then?   
"It's not just that, Clark." Lana found herself equaling up to Clark's bad mood"You don't enforce my rules when he is at your house! You let him do whatever he wants, and then you wonder why he won't behave when he comes home"  
Clark felt Lana touching on one of his nerves. She was calling him a bad father, and in so many words, blaming him for their son's tantrums... it hurt him a lot, he always feared he would mess up his child. He really didn't feel like he was hurting Alex, and it made him so angry that Lana would say something like, especially when she knew how worried he had always been about that subject.  
Lana felt a tinge of guilt at her words, but it was true and it was going to come up some time or another, but maybe she shouldn't have said it as an accusation, but Alex was her son too and she was also responsible in raising him right.  
"Don't blame me for this." Clark said angrily"He behaves fine with me"  
"Of course he does" Lana lost any guilt she felt before. She wasn't letting Clark pin this on her"How can he misbehave if you don't have any rules"  
"If you don't want to move in, Fine" He yelled"But don't use your parents as an excuse, you aren't 17 anymore, you aren't in high school any longer. And fine, maybe you're right. If you don't want to move in with me because you think I'm a horrible father, then just say it." Clark felt really hurt.  
Lana never ever meant it like that, that wasn't the reason at all; she didn't think Clark was a horrible dad"Clark, no... that isn't why."  
"Whatever." Clark barged out the door.  
Lana felt hot tears streak down her face.

Lana woke up the next morning. She felt a little better. Maybe Clark regretted their fight as much as she did. She didn't want to fight with him, and she knew they had to talk. There were a lot of issues they had never discussed, and bringing them up in a fight wasn't smart.  
Lana knew Clark was right, she shouldn't be making judgments on what her parents thought anymore, and if she wanted to move in with him, then she should. Even though she did think it would be better if they lived together, not only for their son, but for their relationship, she knew she had to discuss some rules with Clark, because they had to agree on a way to raise their son. The way they had been doing it before wasn't right, and Alex's behavior was proof. Sure, it had worked out so far, but now Alex was getting older, enough to think and see how he could manipulate situations. Clark had to stop spoiling Alex so much. If he wanted to buy him things, fine. But there had to be a limit, and Clark had to enforce the same rules on Alex as she did.  
"Mom, is Alex with Dad" Lana asked Martha, seeing Alex wasn't with her, or in his room.  
"No, Clark picked him up half an hour ago, didn't you know" Martha asked concerned, well aware of their fight the previous night.  
Lana felt such anger towards Clark. It wasn't the action, she never minded him taking Alex, it was the meaning behind it, the fact that he didn't even bother to tell her. He was bringing their son into this fight, and that wasn't right. He had no right just to take Alex without saying anything to her"No, he never said anything to me."  
Lana was quick to dial Clark's cell phone number, one she knew by heart.  
"Hello" Clark answered.  
"Clark, where are you" Lana asked, her tone showing she was angry.  
"I'm at the zoo." Clark said in a normal tone.  
"Clark, how could you take Alex" She got to the point.  
"What? Now I'm not allowed to take me own son out" Clark asked defensively.  
"You know that's not what I meant. You just took him without saying one word to me." She challenged.  
"I told your mom, you were sleeping." Clark replied.  
"Clark, after last night... you know... you shouldn't be bringing Alex into this. Getting him to choose sides." Lana could hear her little boy laughing in the background.  
"I'm not." Clark's voice now showed a bit of anger"I wouldn't do that." Clark was angry that Lana would accuse him of that. It felt like another jab at what a bad dad he was.  
"Clark, we need to talk." Lana said.  
"Fine." Clark said coldly.  
"When you come by to drop Alex off, we'll talk." Lana said matching his cold tone. She soon heard a click and dial tone. He hadn't even said goodbye, but then again, she wasn't expecting him too.

TBC...


	48. Resolution

Clark really didn't want to talk to Lana, but he would. Clark felt better, more reassured that he was a good father. That was why he had taken Alex, and he honestly just didn't feel like even looking at Lana, he wasn't trying to pit Alex against her.  
Clark opened the back door of the car, reaching inside to unfasten Alex's seat belt, letting him out of his car seat. Alex immediately raced towards the Kent's front door, stuffed tiger animal in hand.  
Clark leaned against the car, deciding weather he should go in ot not.

Lana turned around as she heard the door open and her son stumbled inside, falling, but he was obviously not hurt, because he got back up with a smile on his face.  
"Mom, I saw SO many animals" He beamed"There was a tiger this big" He stretched his out his arms as far as they could go.  
"That's great sweetie." Lana said watching the door, wondering why Clark hadn't been right behind Alex.  
"The tigers goes Grrrrr, really loud." Alex tried to imitate the tiger's roar"But I wasn't scared."   
Normally Lana would have found her son's stories adorable and given him her full attention, but all she could focus on was lack of Clark"Sweetie, where is your dad"  
As if on cue, Clark entered the house, eyes on Alex or the floor the whole time, never making eye contact with Lana.  
"Hey, sweetie, Grandma's in the kitchen, why don't you tell her about the zoo." Lana said, and happy once her little boy ran into the kitchen, so she could talk to Clark alone.  
"Clark, last night we both said some things we regret." Lana knew she had really hurt Clark.  
"But... we meant them." Clark finally made eye contact with Lana.  
Lana couldn't deny it"But Clark, you took what I said the wrong way. That isn't the reason at all I wouldn't move in with you... you're right, I did mean what I said, but I think you are a great father, I wasn't saying you weren't."  
"Then why, Lana" Clark's voice sounded stressed, but not angry.  
"I..." Lana honestly didn't know why, of course her parents frowned upon it, but Clark was right, she wasn't a kid anymore"I do... but..." Lana felt an underlying fear, why or of what, she didn't know.  
Clark needed Lana to think he was a good father, but he needed her more to show it, back up her words"but what"  
"I don't know." Lana tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ears"I just feel like I should, and I want to... but I feel like we need to set discuss boundaries and limitations."  
"For Alex" Clark asked, unsure.  
"Yes, but for us too." Lana felt like bringing the certain topic up, as long as they were discussing things. She really did know in her heart why she hadn't moved in with Clark. She had been hoping for a proposal before, yet it didn't seem like she was ever going to get it.  
"Us? What about us" Clark didn't understand what she was getting at.  
"Clark... are we ever going to go any farther" Lana asked indirectly.  
Clark didn't know how much further they could go"Lana... what are you looking for me to say? Because I don't know, and I'm sorry."  
Lana was hurt that he seriously just didn't get it, didn't think about it. She was going to have to be blunt"Are we ever going to get married"  
Clark hadn't seen that one coming. He never even thought about marriage before. He honestly didn't believe in it. He never saw no purpose in it. What was the point? They take a vow saying death do us part, but more than half break that promise and get divorced. To Clark marriage had the same authority as dating. He didn't feel like marriage was a next step because it was all the same, only with a title. You couldn't cheat on your girlfriend, and you can't cheat on your wife. You could break up with a girlfriend and divorce a wife.  
Clark had never realized Lana had wanted marriage before"Lana... I never thought..." He had just assumed she shared his opinion.  
Lana saw it was clear he didn't want marriage and it hurt her"No, its fine. I just wanted to be sure." She turned away from him, trying to keep from crying.  
"Lana..." Clark said with utter tenderness, sensing she was upset, and he bridged the 3 foot gap between, as he placed a hand on her shoulder from behind"If that's what you want, of course, we'll get married."  
Clark saw Lana visibly shake, and even though her back was turned to him and he couldn't see her face, he knew the tears were there.  
"Clark." She turned around"I don't want you to do it because you think it's what I want. I want you to want it." Lana's voice cracked on a sob.  
"Lana, you know I love you. You know you're the only one I'd ever want to spend the rest of my life with." He cupped her cheek with his hand"You make me human, and if you want to show that, prove that with a title, I will."  
Lana didn't understand where Clark was coming from. How could it mean so little to him? She had always pictured marriage in her future. She didn't doubt Clark's love or loyalty, but how could he not think about it? Marriage was so much more than a label.  
"Clark marriage isn't just a title... it's the final commitment." She said as Clark brushed a tear from her face.  
"Well Lana, then I want to make that commitment." Clark never knew Lana had felt this way about marriage before.  
"Clark..." It just didn't feel right to Lana anymore. She knew Clark would always love her, but she also knew he was only asking her to marry her because he thought that was what she wanted, and it was but... this just wasn't how she had pictured her proposal, it wasn't romantic at all, it was forced.  
"Lana, I don't know what else to say." Clark didn't know how to make it right.  
"I don't know either." Lana didn't know why she felt this way, I mean, Clark loved her and was doing it to make her happy, shouldn't that be enough? She just didn't understand why Clark felt marriage was worth so little.  
Clark was so confused and had no idea what to do next, he hated to see Lana crying but... he couldn't just change the way he felt"Lana, just tell me what you want and I'll do it. If you want to get married, we will."  
How do you answer a question like that? Yes, she wanted to get married... he was trying his hardest to make her happy...  
"Yes... I do want to get married." Lana knew she did, and she still wanted to, even if he didn't think it was important.  
"Okay..." Clark hugged her, but he still didn't feel like things had been settled, it just didn't feel right.

**1 ½ week later**  
"Alex, stop it." Lana scolded him in the supermarket as he pulled boxes of cereal off the shelf.  
"I wanna go" He whined as he threw himself on the floor.  
"Alex, get up. We'll leave soon." Lana said patiently as she picked Alex up by one arm, but he went limp on purpose, so she would have to pull all his body weight. "Alex, stop it."  
Alex started crying, and pretty soon he was screaming. Lana picked him up, and he clung to her, still crying loudly. Lana knew her son well enough to know he was upset for other reasons.  
Lana was very thankful when his wails calmed down to whimpers, because people were all starring at her.

"Hey, Lana." Martha grabbed a grocery bag from her daughter's arm as she came inside"Is Alex outside"  
"Yeah, he's still in his car seat, would you grab him for me" Lana asked.  
"Sure." Martha headed outside, and was back in the house with her grandson in less than a minute.  
It was painful for Lana to look at her son, eyes red from crying and obviously still upset.  
"Did he throw another fit" Martha asked, rocking Alex in her arms.  
"Yeah." It hurt Lana so much, because she knew why he little boy was acting out; he missed his Dad. Clark hadn't been by in a week and a half. Lana understood too, he was working hard, trying to get Lionel's parole denied and he was working almost 24/7. She also thought part of the reason was because of how things had been really awkward between them ever since the marriage talk.  
"Grampa..."Alex said and he looked like he might start crying again.

Martha came back into the kitchen after she had brought Alex to Jonathan"Lana, sweetie, what's going on with Clark"  
Martha had kept her nose out of it so far but she couldn't anymore. Alex had started to cling to Jonathan more, obviously looking for a replacement of the male figure he wasn't getting lately.  
"He's working on preventing Lionel's parole being granted." Lana knew she should have told Martha, but she had to of known herself, it was all over the news. Plus Lionel represented a horrible time in her life and she didn't like discussing it.  
"Well I assumed that much, but it seems like there is something else." Martha tried to open her daughter up.  
"Mom..." Lana said"We were talking about a lot of things... Alex... and us."  
"And" Martha urged her on.  
"I think I'm going to move in with Clark." Lana said, not sure how Martha would react.  
"Oh..." Was all she said.  
"Mom, you've seen Alex lately, and we both know he's acting like this because he misses Clark..." Lana felt like she need to explain, and this past week she really saw how much it all was linked, and that Clark was right.  
Before anyone could say anything else the phone rang, and Lana picked it up"Hello"  
"Lana, hey." Clark said in an optimistic tone.  
"Hi, Clark. What's up" She asked.  
"Um, Lionel was denied his parole request." Clark said.  
"That's great, how did you do it" Lana had been aware of Clark's constant search for dirt over the past few weeks, but he had never found anything close.  
"Money." Clark didn't feel a bit guilty that he had bribed the parole board, after all the only reason Lionel had gotten the 3 years was by bribing a judge"So he has to finish his last 6 months in jail. I'm going to come over, I'll be there in like 25 minutes.  
"Alright." Lana replied.  
"Bye." Clark hung up.

TBC...


	49. LL

Clark was a little nervous on the drive over to Lana's house. They hadn't talked at all since the big discussion. He didn't really know what to expect, nothing had been really settled. Lana had said she wanted to move in, but the key word being wanted. Clark wasn't sure if she would or not, especially after she confronted him about lack of proposal.  
All those issues were still there, the biggest one being Clark's parental skills. Was he really spoiling Alex like she said? It was hard to tell when you are involved in it every day. Part of the reason Clark had been so hurt and angry was because he was scared there was truth to it. Lana had to have gotten it from somewhere and this wasn't the first time it had been said; but never so bluntly before, just little comments here and there. 

"Daddy"  
Lana turned around to see her son running into his father's arms. Alex was practically choking Clark, he was squeezing him so tight, but as she saw the smile on Clark's face, brought on by seeing his son, she couldn't help but smile too.

"Hey Buddy." Clark hugged his son and picked him up, as he made his way over to Lana"Hey." He smiled uneasily.  
"Hi." Lana had never felt so awkward around Clark. It was expected though, with all the issues they had brought up, how could things not be uncomfortable?  
"Sorry I haven't been by lately." Clark apologized, hoping to release the tension.  
"I understand." Lana said honestly. God, why was this is weird? Clark had come over at least a thousands time, and 10 days wasn't such an extraordinary time to be apart, yet things were so edgy between them.  
A few moments of silence passed before Alex chimed in"Dad, let's go to movies." Alex had remembered his father's promise almost two weeks ago to take him to a movie.  
Lana sighed with relief, thank God for Alex. They could focus on him, providing a great distraction from the awkwardness between each other.  
"Alright." Clark looked at his son.  
"Mom, come too" Alex smiled.  
"Um... It's alright, you two go, have fun. I'm just gonna... hang around here." Lana didn't think she couldn't handle five more minutes of this uneasiness between her and Clark, much less a whole movie.  
"Lana..." Clark made eye contact"Please come."  
"Clark, I just don't feel so great. Go, have fun." It was half true. Maybe she wasn't physically feeling bad but emotionally she was.  
"Hey Buddy" Clark turned towards his son"Why don't you go tell Grandma that we are going to see a movie." Clark wanted to talk to Lana alone.  
"Are you going to leave" Alex felt like he was being tricked.  
"No, I won't leave. I promise." Clark smiled. That was good enough for Alex, his dad never broke a promise. He immediately ran off to find Grandma.  
"Lana..." Clark took a step towards her"I know things are... weird between us right now... but if we keep avoiding each other then it will only get worse."  
"Clark..." Lana knew he was right but...  
"At least for Alex; we haven't done anything as a family in over a month, and I know, that is mostly my fault but... just come." Clark felt this was so much more than just a movie.  
Lana felt selfish"Yeah, you're right... I just... okay, I'm going to go get ready." Lana was glad to have an excuse to get out of the room at least.

Clark and Lana were each holding one of Alex's hands as they walked, and they would swing him every so often, and just for a moment, things felt almost normal. Alex was laughing and his euphoria was contagious.  
Clark bent down when they reached the ticket booth"What movie did you want to see"  
"Dinosaur movie" Alex jumped up.  
Clark had absolutely no clue what that meant, but apparently Lana did because she spoke up"Two adults and one child for 'Rex's adventures'."

Clark and Lana walked out of the theater with their 2 ½ year old son, who apparently loved the cartoon, and they all headed back to the car.  
"Mom, is Rex real" Alex asked Lana as she strapped him into his car seat.  
"No, baby, it's just a movie." Lana said sweetly, as she shut the car door and hopped into the passenger's seat and Clark started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.  
"Do you want me to take you back to your house, or do you want to come to the mansion with me" Normally Clark wouldn't ask, but now...  
"Um..." Lana wasn't sure. Things had eased up a bit, but they were far from normal. But she wanted normal back, and for that, they needed to talk"Let's go back to the mansion."

Lana sat their in the mansion, on the couch, while Clark was putting Alex to bed. Lana felt so nervous, and anxious. The whole situation with Clark was so nerve racking. Lana had known Clark since they were practically kids, and he had been her boyfriend all threw high school. When you know someone that long, are there when they are developing into their own person, you learn to read their emotions and situations, and the fact that Lana couldn't really understand why things were so off with Clark, made her scared.  
She had always been able to tell why, if nothing else, things were wrong. She had never experienced this before, and that frightened her even more. 

"Okay, he's asleep." Clark entered the room, hands in his pockets, eyes cast slightly downward.  
Lana's nervousness increased at that action. It told her he wasn't aware of what to do either.  
"Lana..." Clark sat down next to her, close, but not touching, it didn't seem right"Okay, I know things are so incredibly stressed between us... and to tell the truth I'm not even sure why."  
Lana didn't know weather to feel good or bad about that. She felt comfort in the fact that she wasn't alone in that emotion, but she felt a tinge of fear, because if neither of them knew what was wrong, how could they make it right?  
Their whole relationship had always been based on passion. Their emotions were always so extreme, weather it be anger, love, or fear. Now they had gotten themselves into this phase that Lana didn't know how to describe. Things weren't heated or icy between them, just a vague awkwardness that carried no power. How did you deal with that? Lana felt like she'd rather deal with the extremes, at least then she always knew her goal and how to reach it, even if it did seem impossible at times.  
"Clark, I don't know why either." Lana admitted.  
"I think we should talk about... our current situation." Clark felt exactly like Lana did.  
"Alright..." Lana wasn't sure which specific aspect he was hinting towards.  
"So I take it you don't want to move in with me still." He said it with no contempt, no anger.  
"Clark, I was... but it just seems so weird now." Lana confessed.  
"This is about... marriage, isn't it" Clark had to ask.  
"I'm not sure... Clark, I have to admit that it bugged me a lot that you didn't want to get married." Lana replied.  
"Lana, I know, but I don't know what else to say. You were just raised different from me. Your parents are like the perfect example of marriage, and I guess I can understand why it's so important to you." Clark didn't really want to go into this topic, but felt like he needed Lana to understand were he was coming from, so he continued"I grew up watching affairs and I've seen how easily the marriage promise is pushed aside. Lana, marriage... it traps you."  
"What" Lana felt offended"You don't want to be trapped with me"  
"No..." Clark had put his foot in his mouth, that wasn't what he meant"If you ever wanted to leave me... I'd be so messy." Clark thought back to his coma, and thought of how Lana had wanted to leave but she couldn't. She was trapped... by him. Marriage would just be one more security guard in her prison.  
"Clark, I don't want to leave you." Lana knew that.  
"Not now..." Clark didn't care how much he loved Lana or she loved him, he knew that people are constantly changing and making decisions that change them. He always wanted Lana to be able to leave"I want you to have that option, no matter what... to be able to leave with Alex if I..." Clark couldn't help but again think of the much darker version of Lana and himself in that future.  
"Clark..." Lana hated that Clark always thought like that, he always feared what could be. She wished for once and all she could just reassure him that he wasn't going to become evil. But she knew by now he would always have that fear, because his coma was an experience that he could never forget, and would always haunt him. Every time he would become comfortable that he wouldn't follow in Lionel's footsteps, something would happen and make him think, and scare him. This time she knew what it was too, and she felt horrible.  
She had done it this time, the things she had said about how he parented Alex. She could more fully see what he was feeling now. Combined with her words and the scare that Lionel would get parole, Clark was re- evaluating a lot of things. "Clark, what I said about you spoiling Alex, that doesn't mean you are a bad parent."  
"But you were right, and I couldn't see it, Lana, I honestly couldn't." Clark confessed"How do I change something I would have never known existed without you? How many other things don't I see"  
"Clark, stop. Don't do this to yourself. I can name a hundred things you do right for every one you do wrong." Lana had to stop him from picking himself apart"You are a good father. You just need to work on one thing." She put her hand on his knee, the first contact they had, had in so long.  
"Lana, please move in with me. You can stop me from doing it... and I miss you." Clark brought them back on topic.  
"I miss you too... lately I've been feeling like we've been living in two separate worlds, and Alex is the only bridge between them." Lana didn't realize she had been feeling like that until now"and if moving in with you means seeing more of each other; really being involved in your life again... I want that."  
Once Lana had said it, Clark saw how true it really was. How could they both of been so blind before? He knew why though, because it had happened so slowly at first.  
Clark leaned in and kissed Lana, really kissed her, like he hadn't in over a year. They finally had passion again, something they had lost while they had slowly been distancing each other for over a year.  
Their kiss became more heated with every moment that passed.  
"I love you Lana." Clark kissed her neck.  
"I love you." Lana whispered. She felt like this wall was breaking between them. 

TBC...


	50. Disruption

6 months later

"Mom, can I have a cookie" 3 ½ year old Alex asked.  
"What do you say" Lana asked.  
"Please." Alex smiled.  
Lana laughed and gave her son a cookie"So Sweetie, how was school" Alex had been going to a high security private pre-school for about 2 months now.  
"Good, I drew a picture of me and my new friend. He said I was a big boy." Alex ran to retrieve his masterpiece. He returned shortly"Look."  
Lana looked at the stick figure drawing"It's pretty. What is your friend's name" Lana loved hearing the world threw her son perspective.  
"I donno. He gave me this though." Alex pulled a thin gold chain out of his pocket and held it up for his mother to inspect.  
Lana saw the familiar 'LL' symbol that was the Luther trademark"Alex, you know not to touch Daddy's things." The chain looked very expensive, and Clark might be missing it.  
"I didn't." Alex promised.

Lana was reading a book on the couch in the mansion, when Clark came home.  
"Hey baby." He kissed her cheek.  
"Hey Clark, how was work" Lana smiled as Clark wrapped his arm around her.  
"Fine." Clark said"Where is Alex"  
"Sleeping, I think he is getting sick, he kept sneezing." Lana told him. "Oh, here." She placed the gold chain Alex had given her earlier in Clark's hand.  
"Where did you get this" Clark asked.  
Lana was surprised by the edge of tension and anger in his voice. "Alex had it, he probably got it out of our room."  
"No. Lana, my mother gave this to Lex and Me before she died. This was in my safety deposit box. Only people from our family can take it out." Clark felt so uneasy.  
"Clark, I donno, Alex said he got it from someone at school, but I didn't believe him. How do you think he got it" Lana felt like Clark already had a theory.  
Clark paused for a moment"Lionel gets out of prison in 3 days."  
Lana was well aware of that, she had lost just as much sleep as Clark over the matter"You think Lionel has something to do with it"  
"How would he get one of his people onto the school grounds? It's a high security school." Clark felt mad, because it scared him.  
"Clark..." Lana didn't have answers either.  
"He's not going to school tomorrow and I'm having more people guard the mansion." Clark was worried.  
"Daddy." Alex entered the room, crying.  
"What's wrong" Clark asked his son as he held him in his arms.  
"My nose and throat hurts..." He cried harder.  
Clark could obviously see his little boy was sick, his nosing was running and his forehead was hot"Okay buddy, we'll get you some medicine and you'll feel better soon." Clark rocked Alex a little as he cried.

One Day Later

Lana took the thermometer out of Alex's ear"oh, baby you are burning up." She read the temperature of 104 degrees. Alex had been crying all morning and now he had a high fever to go along with his cold.

Lana called the family doctor but he wouldn't pick up. Alex wouldn't stop crying and she didn't know what to do. Clark had told her not to leave the mansion, but Alex needed a doctor.  
After Lana realized that the security guards around the mansion were gone, her panic doubled. What happened to them?  
Finally Lana knew she had to leave to take Alex to the hospital, because she was about as safe here as she was at the hospital, because either way the security guards were missing.

Lana strapped Alex into the car seat before starting the car and backing out. Lana was about 4 minutes from the hospital when she stopped at a red light. She turned around and saw Alex's nose was running, so she grabbed a tissue and wiped his nose. By the time she turned back around she saw a black car collide with hers, smashing the back side of the car.  
Lana's seatbelt caught her, but also gave her whiplash. She was kind of dazed but the screams of her toddler made her focus. She turned around to see Alex screaming and blood running all down his chin and smeared across his cheeks.

Clark was in the middle of a meeting when he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that is was from Lana, so he exited the room and answered it.  
"Lana" Clark knew something had to be wrong for her to be calling him.  
"Clark, I'm at the hospital." Lana's voice was shaky.  
"What? Why" Clark asked, worried.  
"I was hit by a car and Alex had a fever and I know I wasn't supposed to leave but I didn't know what to do and"  
"Lana it's okay, I'll be down there in 10 minutes."

"Are you Okay" Clark hugged Lana, who was holding Alex, and he was obviously upset.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, and so is Alex, he just bit his lip." Lana hugged Clark tight, feeling safe now that he was here.  
"You okay, Buddy" Clark asked his son, who nodded yes, but his lower lip quivered, showing he wasn't.  
"Dad..." Alex started crying again, as he reached out towards his dad, wanting him to hold him.  
"I gotcha buddy, you are gonna be alright." Clark held his son, as he rested against his chest. Clark felt so awful when he saw how scared and upset his son was. Clark gently rubbed Alex's back, trying to calm him down a little bit.  
"Lana, who hit you" Clark asked.  
"I donno, but I saw the license plate and it wasn't real. All it said was 'LL'. Clark... I was stopped at a red light and the car hit me straight on... it was on purpose." Lana revealed.  
Clark wasn't surprised, but at the same time he felt so concerned and alarmed. Lionel was giving him warning, he would be a free man tomorrow and out for revenge. 

It was 4am and Clark couldn't sleep. He had to find a way to protect Alex and Lana from Lionel. Lionel had somehow gotten rid of the security guards Clark had placed at the mansion the other day, and he could do it again. Clark even wondered if he had gotten Alex sick so Lana would have to leave the mansion, but there was no way to find out. Alex's fever had gone down hours ago and he seemed to be doing much better.  
Clark planned on staying with Alex and Lana all day, to make sure nothing happened to them, but he couldn't do that for the rest of his life, they couldn't always wonder and have to watch their backs in constant fear that, that day would be it, the day Lionel got his revenge.  
So Clark sat there, unable to sleep, and unsure of what to do. Once again, he found himself regretting his actions 3 years ago. He wished he killed Lionel then, but instead he was the one who almost ended up getting killed. Not this time though. 3 years ago he didn't have the nerve to kill Lionel, but now he had a child and Clark knew, if given the chance he wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger this time.  
Lionel had really given Clark that motivation when he harassed his family. Clark swore when Alex was born he would always protect him and he planned to keep that promise.   
Clark just realized that Lionel might go after people other than Lana and Alex. Of course, Clark had thought of Lex, but he wasn't even in the country at the moment, he was in Paris. But Martha and Jonathan weren't.  
Clark picked up his cell phone and called and made arrangements for the Kents to spend a weekend in New Zealand. At first they objected, but once Clark told them about the car accident and the gold necklace, they finally agreed.  
Clark wished he could send Lana and Alex off somewhere too, but Lionel could easily track them down, no matter the precautions. Besides, they couldn't hide forever.

3:42 pm

Clark sat there on the couch, in between Lana and Alex, watching cartoons, trying to have a normal day.  
Clark pulled out his cell phone and called 3 security guards outside the mansion just to make sure they were still there, as he had every 25 minutes for the past few hours. As usual, they were all there and there was nothing suspicious.  
"Everything is fine." Clark whispered to Lana, and he kissed her.  
Alex started laughing, unlike other little kids he thought kissing was funny, not gross. Alex leaned over Clark and kissed Lana on the cheek, and started laughing harder"I kissed Mommy too"  
Clark couldn't help but smile, his son always imitated his every move. Clark and Lana had both seen the drastic change in Alex's personality over the past 6 months since they had all been living together. He stopped his tantrums, for the most part, but every 3 year old has his moments. It wasn't even just his behavior that changed; he was a much happier toddler, he laughed more, and generally just became nicer. Yes, he was still spoiled in material things at least, there was just no avoiding it, but he always shared without even being asked.  
Clark began to tickle Alex"Only I get to kiss Mommy." Clark joked as he continued to tickle Alex, who was laughing uncontrollably. Clark threw Alex into the air and caught him, as Alex bounced on the couch, still laughing.  
Clark started to tickle him again and Alex couldn't stop laughing"Dad...ha ha... stop..." He managed between chuckles.  
"Say Mercy." Clark snickered.  
"No" Alex laughed, wanting to win"Mommy... ha ha...stop him..."  
Lana couldn't help but laugh, and she jumped on Clark's back playfully and pinned him against the couch.  
Alex hugged Lana before adding to the dog pile that was currently located on top of Clark.  
Alex sat upon Clark's chest"Say mercy." He giggled.  
"Mercy, I give up." Clark smiled, as Alex and Lana got off of him"You guys win."

The laughter was just starting to die down when everyone turned to look towards the door as it swung open, and 6 men came in, their faces were covered with black ski masks.  
Clark was about to tell Lana to run, but 3 more men came in the opposite door trapping them. Lana and Clark stood back to back, with Alex in between them.  
Clark felt really dizzy and weak as the men approached. They must have had kryptonite, because the things Clark saw or felt before he passed out was a blow to the head and a little voice screaming "Daddy"


	51. Understanding

Clark felt drained of almost all his energy, as he opened his eyes. He knew that kryptonite was around, either in trace amounts or farther away, because he could still move, but he was so weak.  
Clark looked around the room; it was a medium sized room, maybe a third bigger than his bedroom, but had half the accessories it held. It did have a bed, which he was laying on, a TV, a refrigerator, and a closet, which was half open and Clark could see clothes inside of it. Clark couldn't remember how he had gotten here, but he did remember Alex crying as he blacked out while his home was invaded. He had to get out of there.  
He mustered up his strength and made his way towards the door in the room, but the closer he got, the weaker he felt and he collapsed about 10 feet from the door, unable to get up. Clark tried to keep his head clear, so he could figure out a way out of here, or at the very least, what was going on, and where he was. But with each passing second the pain increased, and pretty soon it was all Clark could think of.  
He barely noticed when the door opened and someone walked in; Clark didn't know who it was, he didn't have the strength to turn his head and look. But he felt the person, whoever it was, slide him across the floor, into the middle of the room. Clark slowly began to feel stronger, but not strong. As he became more alert, his eyes started to focus properly and he saw who was in the room with him.  
"I wouldn't do that. The walls are all lined with Kryptonite, and so is the room after that. But I've made sure that it's the proper distance, so you won't collapse, or pass out, that is if you don't try to make a run for it." Lionel placed a hand on Clark's forehead.  
Clark moved out of Lionel's touch; it was all he had the strength for. Clark hadn't seen Lionel in almost 3 years, so as he looked upon his pale, skinny face, he couldn't help but he plagued with memories of the past, one he didn't feel like reliving. Clark had always seen Lionel as calm, cool, and together, even if he was anything but; but now Lionel looked edgy, and crazed.  
"Where is he" Clark managed to get the 3 small words out.  
"Who" Lionel smirked, knowingly.  
"My Son." Clark automatically thought of Alex, he was worried for Lana too, but Alex was only 3 years old, and Clark just had a horrible feeling that Lionel would go after him. He had felt like that for 3 years.  
"Alex, yes we met. He's a smart boy, Clark." Lionel voice was light, as he smirked, but his eyes gave him away, showing the unfathomable, cruel revenge, that he so wanted.  
"Don't you hurt him, you son of a bitch." Clark tried to get up, fueled by the thought of Alex with Lionel, but he just managed to stumble back to the floor rather quickly.  
Lionel laughed, but didn't say anything.  
"He is just a kid! He didn't do anything" Clark shouted.  
"No, but you did." Lionel's voice reeked of anger"The sins of the father shall be revisited on their sons." Lionel quoted.  
"No" Clark screamed"What did you do to him"  
Again, Clark was answered with an evil chuckle, but no real words.  
"Do whatever you want to me, but leave Alex and Lana alone" Clark never wanted anything more in his whole life; Lionel could do anything he wanted to, but just leave them out of it.  
"**I** won't do anything to them." Lionel said it with the tone of an obvious lie.  
Clark didn't like the way he said 'I'"What does that mean? I want to see them right now! Don't you dare hurt them"  
"Don't worry Clark, you'll get to see them." Lionel laughed"Everyday, for the rest of your life."  
Clark didn't understand, and his facial expression showed it.  
Lionel walked over to the TV and turned it on.  
"Go ahead Clark, watch it." Lionel said it as a dare.  
Clark looked at the screen, so see it was showing the family room in the mansion. Clark watched as he saw himself and Lana, along with Alex, on the couch hugging.  
"What" Clark didn't understand at all. Had Lionel pre-recorded this? Why would he show Clark this.  
"Just listen." Lionel gestured towards the TV, and Clark focused on it once again.

Clark saw that Lana was crying, and he saw himself hugging her, and he began to speak"Don't worry baby, it's ok. Alex is fine, You're fine, everything is going to be okay."  
Clark still watched the TV screen as Lana began to speak"But Clark, are you sure that he is dead? What if he comes after us again? After Alex" Lana looked over at the sleeping toddler.  
"Lana, I'm sure. When I escaped with Alex? I shot him 3 times, once in the head." Clark told Lana.

Clark looked away from the TV in horror as he started to realize what was going on. That wasn't pre-recorded, he had never said anything like that. That wasn't even him sitting on the couch, and hugging Lana, it looked like him, but it sure as hell wasn't him.  
"What are you doing" Clark needed more information to fill in the gaps"Who is that"  
Lionel laughed"I found someone with extraordinary talents, Clark. He can take on the appearance of anyone he wants, and right now, that is you."  
"What are trying to do" Clark hated the feeling in his gut.  
"He is going to live for you Clark. He is you, as of now." Lionel told him.  
"No? Lana will know its not me." Clark knew she would.  
"You might be surprised Clark. The whole 3 years I was in prison, he was watching you, learning your mannerisms and word choices. He probably knows how to be you more than you do. Lana won't notice, no one will. And he knows everything you do, everything in the past five years that you remember, so does he. While you were passed out, we had a nostalgia procedure done." Lionel laughed once again"You know, it was almost worth 3 years in jail to see the look on your face now."  
Clark was beginning to panic"What are you going to accomplish by this? Why not just kill me"  
"Clark, death is so easy. But you watching everyday of your life, seeing someone else raise your child, and love your girlfriend, now that is hard." Lionel had been planning his revenge for a long time.  
Clark hadn't understood before what a long-term thing this was"No"  
"Yes. You betrayed me and now I'm going to raise a Luthor right." Lionel said coldly.  
"Lana will know that you wouldn't just back off." Clark had to believe Lana would tell the difference.  
"No, she thinks I'm dead, just like everyone else. According to tomorrow's paper, you shot and killed me." Lionel smiled before leaving the room.  
"NO" Clark screamed.

**3 weeks later**

Lana slid into bed with Clark.  
Clark started kissing her, and practically jumped on her.  
"Clark, stop." Lana said rather coldly as she pushed him off her.  
"Why" Clark said impatiently.  
"Because I'm not in the mood." Lana felt herself getting aggravated with Clark, again. It seemed like all she felt towards Clark lately was anger, frustration, or just plain confusion.  
"You're never in the mood." Clark grunted.  
"Since when are you horny 24/7, anyways" Lana got up, and left the room. She felt so tense. What was it about Clark lately that made her be repulsed by him? 

"You have to get over it, open your eyes. Alex, you are a Luthor, and Luthors aren't weak like this." Clark had no gentleness in his voice.  
"Clark." Lana said sharply.  
"What" Clark gave Lana a harsh look.  
"Stop it. He's not even 4 years old. He is afraid of heights, leave him alone." Lana felt like smacking Clark.  
"You are making him weak, Lana." Clark retorted before turning back to Alex"Open you eyes, Alex, look out the window."  
Alex started to cry, when Clark grabbed his arm.  
"Clark" Lana looked at Clark with disgust. 

"Lex, thanks for coming." Lana wiped the tears off her face, as she tried to regain her composure.  
"Of course, Lana. What's going on, why are you so upset" Lex sat down close to her and wrapped a comforting arm around her.  
"Okay? it's about Clark? you know I wouldn't have asked you to fly in from Paris if I didn't think it was important." Lana said solemnly.  
"Yeah."   
"Okay, I'm really worried about Clark. Ever since he killed Lionel" Lana didn't know where to start, or what incidents to include. Plus Lex and Clark had always been extremely close, would Lex even think she was right?  
"It's okay, Lana, you can tell me." Lex urged her to go on.  
"It's like a lot of little things; at first he seemed completely normal? but he just seems? I mean like the other day he completely yelled at Alex, it's like he has no patients for him at all. Alex won't ever go to Clark anymore, he doesn't even call him Daddy. Once Alex even said that Clark wasn't his Dad, but that he was a bad man. Clark says that when Alex saw him shoot Lionel, it probably traumatize him? maybe he's right, but Lex, Clark is changing."  
Lex sensed Lana still had something she wanted so say"What do you think is going on with him"  
"I don't know, but it seems like" Lana really didn't like saying all these things. She loved Clark, and they had been through so much together, but this, well it seemed like more than a phase. It was like Clark's personality was rapidly evolving"It's like ever since he shot Lionel, he is like slowly becoming him, Lex."  
Lex was shocked to hear that, especially from Lana"Lana, Clark knows how evil Lionel was and he wouldn't become like that." Lex sensed his brother was going threw a hard time lately, but he knew Clark; he would never follow in Lionel's footsteps, especially after all he did to make sure Lionel was put away.  
Lana felt like Lex was already taking Clark's side"Lex, I know, it doesn't make sense, but I swear the other day, he practically quoted Lionel! Lionel's death changed him. Maybe now that he doesn't see Lionel as the threat, he is relaxing and he is? reverting or something. Lex, I don't know, but I know something is going on with him." Lana felt so frustrated.  
"Lana, it's okay. I'll talk to Clark." Lex knew how much Lana loved Clark; and that just for her to be telling him this, showed how worried she really was.  
Lana felt like she was breathing in an atmosphere of sorrow. She hoped to God that Lex could talk to Clark and that there was a simple explanation for Clark's recent behavior, because her instinct told her that this was really what Clark was becoming permanently. Clark himself had always warned her, that he had this dark side to him, that he struggled daily with, and tried so hard to leave behind. Hell, he even didn't want to marry her because he always wanted her to have a way out, so she would never be trapped by him, so she could take their son and leave.  
Lana had thought about that more and more lately, every time Clark would do something unpleasant, and not bad habit unpleasant. And every time Lana tried to tell herself that it was just a bad mood or stress or even trauma from not only seeing his father die, but being the one to pull the trigger, she couldn't help but remember back when she when she was a teenager and Clark had told her they could never be together. It was right after Clark's coma. He had told her that even though it didn't seem like a possibility then, that it happens so slowly you barely notice, or if you do, you brush it off, and pretty soon it's too late. You are trapped.  
Lana could take the risk with herself, for Clark, because she loved him so much. But then their was Alex? she couldn't risk his life. Lana couldn't even count the times she had to refrain from gasping as Clark told her one of his childhood moments, or some confrontation he had, had with Lionel. She never ever wanted her son to have memories like that.  
If there was one thing Luthors were, it was smart. Clark had been right years ago, it happens slowly and you ignore it and then it's too late. 

Lex walked out of the mansion, after spending almost 6 hours with Clark. Lana was right, Lex could see the distinct attitude changes in Clark, yet there was still Clark there, behind it. It was the brother he had always known, yes, Lex thought Clark reminded him of his 15 year old, spoiled, selfish brother, but worse. Clark wasn't 15 and he knew what he was choosing to do and say exactly, yet it didn't bother him.

The real Clark lay in his prison, disguised as a room. He had tried for 3 weeks, looking for a way out, to escape, but it wasn't possible. The farthest Clark had ever gotten was about 6 feet out his room where he collapsed from the immense amount of Kryptonite the next room was lined will.  
Lionel had him in checkmate? no it was worse than check mate. In check mate, you could die, or walk away defeated. Here, he just had to sit and the only think to do was watch the TV screen in the room, and all it ever showed was 4 different rooms in the mansion. Lana and his bedroom, Alex's bedroom, The family room, and the main room.  
Day after day he saw some imposter live his life, and now he saw what Lionel was doing. Lionel was raising Alex like he had raised Clark, but through a Clark clone. Clark wanted to kill Lionel every time he saw what looked like him, yell at Alex, or forced him to do something because he 'couldn't be weak'.  
If it was not for Alex and Lana, Clark would have given up weeks ago, but he couldn't give up because he had to get out and protect Alex and Lana, and stop the influence his clone was creating. But he couldn't escape; it was impossible. But still Clark would keep trying, he had to, for Alex Lana.  
But it was torture and comforting watching Lana and Alex through the TV. He couldn't stand what he saw happening, it made him furious, and hurt, because Lana always thought it was him doing those things to her, saying those things. He couldn't blame her though, how would she know? Clark had lost count of how many times he had seen her cry since he had been forced to live out his own personal hell in this room.  
Alex, though, he surprised Clark. Alex somehow knew or sensed it wasn't his real dad, even from the first few days. He always insisted that "Clark" (even when he was being gentle and loving) was a bad man, not his daddy. Alex avoided Clark's imposter when possible.  
Clark had been inflicted with much pain the past few weeks. He had numerous scars that traced his back, stomach, legs and arms. They wouldn't heal, because even thought the Kryptonite was measured and distanced perfectly so Clark couldn't really feel it's effects, they were still there.

TBC


	52. Desperation

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"Clark, sit down, I have to talk to you." Lana instructed Clark.

"What Lana? You know I'm busy." Clark tried to brush her off.

"Clark, fine! I'll make this quick." Lana felt the tears welling up in her eyes already. She couldn't believe she was doing this, "I'm taking Alex and leaving."

"What?" Clark's eyes glinted with rage and a little fear.

"Clark, I'm sorry..." A few tears streaked down her face, "but I have to. The way things have been lately... if it was just me, you know I'd stick by your side no matter what, but you yell at Alex and some of the things you make him do... I mean, Clark, you aren't the same since Lionel's death. I swear, I look in your eyes and I can't even see any love for Alex or me! It's like… like we are a job or property or something. I remember when you would look forward to seeing your son, and you'd always give me a kiss goodbye and..." Lana broke down crying. It hurt so bad, to realize that she wasn't the same in Clark's eyes anymore, she wasn't his sole companion. She was just another person to control.

"Lana, you are over reacting. You know I've been going threw a rough time. You are just going to leave when everything isn't perfect?" Clark's voice has an edge of anger in it.

"Clark, you know that isn't true. I tried to tell myself you were just going threw a hard time, but it's more than that. Out of all the things we've been threw, I never felt like this before. It's like you don't even love your family anymore. It's like you are suddenly following Lionel's handbook on parenting, and you are just more cold to people in general." Lana felt bad saying and admitting these things, because this was Clark, her soul mate. But in a weird way it didn't hurt as much as it should, because as crazy as it sounded it felt like Clark was a different person, and that she was saying these things to that person. The Clark she loved had died somewhere in himself, and that is what really hurt. She had lost him and there was no more fooling herself.

"You are not going to just leave, Bitch." Clark's voice held no fondness, or even a trace of hurt, just an anger, like he only wanted her because she was his.

"I'm leaving Clark. I'm sorry. I am going to move back in with my parents in a couple days, and Alex and me will stay there, I'm not asking you for anything." Lana didn't want to have ties that would lead Clark back into their path.

"Fine bitch! Get out! But Alex is staying with me." Clark stood straight up, making him even more intimidating, as he yelled at Lana.

"Clark..." Lana was so scared this would happen, "Don't do this!"

"Why not? You don't care enough to stay, and you try and take my son." Clark spat with anger.

"I'm doing this because I care! I'm worried for Alex! You even knew that this was always a possibility." Lana sobbed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Clark said condescendingly.

"You didn't want to get married because you always wanted me to have a way out, so I could take Alex and leave. Now let me do that Clark, if you love us, let us leave." Lana hoped he would pull out even the tiniest sentiment of love, care, or concern for his family, and let them go.

"You are so ungrateful! I give you everything you could ever want and now you want to walk out on me!" Clark took a step towards her.

Lana could tell that talking wasn't going to do any good, and it would only stir the pot, "Clark, I'm sorry you feel that way. I just wanted to let you know and tell you face to face." Lana turned to leave the room.

Clark grabbed her arm roughly, "You aren't going anywhere Lana."

"Clark, let me go." Lana had never felt more scared in her life. This wasn't her Clark, the Clark she loved was gone, and this new found personality Clark had taken on… well Lana was pretty sure he didn't have a problem hurting her, as long as he got his way.

"No. Now you listen! You are going to stay here with the boy, and you are just going to forget you ever thought about this. Things are to go back to normal, do you understand me?" Clark spoke the words forcefully, about 4 inches from her face.

Lana was so scared. He didn't even Call Alex his son; he called him 'the boy'. He was more gone than Lana thought, "Clark, I'm leaving." Clark tightened his grip on Lana's arm at her words, "Ouch, Clark you are hurting me stop!"

Clark threw her to the ground hard, "No you're not! Lana, you can either do this the easy way or the hard way."

Lana really felt like Clark would kill her if she said no, "Clark, I can't just pretend everything is ok! I won't!"

Clark squatted down so he was face to face with Lana on the floor, "Yes you will." He struck her across the face.

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The real Clark watched the TV screen as 'he' battered Lana. He couldn't take it anymore. Now his imposter was hitting Lana. He wanted to kill Lionel and his fraud so bad.

"LIONEL!" Clark screamed as he punched on the walls of the room where he had been held for almost a month, "You bastard!"

Clark needed Lionel to show his cowardly face. He needed to talk to Lionel, to do whatever it took to let Lana and Alex be safe. Lionel showed up about twice a week, probably just to enjoy Clark's pain.

Clark couldn't wait an hour, much less a couple days to talk to Lionel. He had to do something drastic so Lionel would be informed and show up.

Clark was anxious of what he was about to do, only because if he failed, it meant Lana and Alex would never be happy, be okay, be free.

Clark took a glass of water that was by his bed, and he moved to the corner of his room that he knew contained the most kryptonite in the walls. He pulled the TV as close as it would go to him and smashed it—sparks flew and burned him a little bit. Clark was trying to hold off the effects of the kryptonite, but his body had been so weakened over the last month, he had barely enough energy to punch threw a section in the wall. Clark felt kryptonite as it pulsed threw him, were his skin had broken as a result of punching threw the wall.

Clark felt like he was going to die right then, but he pulled out all his strength, as he thought of Lana and Alex and how much he loved them, and just wanted to hug them. The imagine of Lana getting smacked around, and Alex crying flashed in his mind, over and over, along with at least a thousand other horrible and painful images he had gained with in the last month.

Clark tipped over the glass of water onto the TV.

Clark felt excruciating pain surge threw his body as volts of electricity mixed with kryptonite, rendered him unconscious.

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TBC…


End file.
